Thanks for all the feedback guys, I appreciate it and it's making me feel a lot better and helping provide clarity on the situation. Also thank you to Fisto especially, I was expecting a lot of guys to tear me a new one on this thread, fortunately it was mostly positive and supportive, but I know I fucked up bad in the game, and can admit when I've done wrong.
They say hindsight is 20/20 and now I really do feel like a fool, because as everyone including myself has said there were glaring redflags there that I continued to overlook throughout the relationship. I should say however, that like most women aside from her tatts and just overall vibe, she did manage to cover up a lot of her red flags and it was over time that they really started to come out, but at that point she already had her claws dug into me and I was smitten by lust.
Not that it is ever a good excuse, but most women are such masters of making themselves out to be something they really aren't, a victim of a troubled past, they try to portray themselves as changed, how they learned so much and grew so much, but in reality the old saying is true... "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."
Now I need to take responsibility for my own actions and decisions, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am really realizing that I have lot's of "captain save a ho" tendencies, and often fall into this dynamic where I find a troubled woman and I unconciously without even being aware, want to help her and be there for her. I am starting to suspect that I attract women like this in my life, or they are attracted to me, since I tend to be a good bit older, more established, more stable, and have my shit together.
The old school rappers are right, "you can't make a ho a housewife", and playing "captain save a ho" is nothing but a fool's errand.
Another issue I have is I'm too damn trusting of women, especially once we've been having a bunch of sex, hanging out all the time, and they've gotten into my head and bonded with me on an emotional level. It's like I really want to believe them when they say they love me, when they say that I mean everything to them, that they've changed, and now their lives are so complete.
I know... it's all a bunch of blue pill, beta, pathetic, oneitis bullshit. I need to work on that shit, and purge it from my system. Like some guys have said, even though I'm a little upset still, it's probably a blessing in disguise. For sure I didn't want to be with her long term more than I already had, I sure as fucking shit knew there was no way in hell I was going to ever want to marry or have kids with her, so her breaking up was really the best thing for both of us. I guess I just got too caught up in the comfort of having a live in girl, who not only provided constant good sex, but also the illusion of companionship with a person who loved and cherished me.
All we can do in life is learn from our mistakes, I know I've had a couple other whack relationships in the past, so maybe I didn't learn as much from those as I should have, sometimes we got to get knocked down a few times before we can get back up and learn our lesson, it's the school of hard knocks.
A lot of guys helped put shit into perspective, even though I still feel like I got played by this shit, it could have been a million times worse, I could have gotten her pregnant, she could have stole from me, she could have done some really unsavory shit. Even though it was a painful experience and it may make me look like a simp in many of your eyes, I can really give two shits, I'm glad to share this story so that a lot of new guys on here and even old ones can learn from my mistakes, read this story and see where I fucked up. Guys like Travesty, please call me out if you feel the need to, not doing so because I have more rep points is fucking lame, I'm a big boy I can take all your harsh criticism, it will only make me stronger.
They say hindsight is 20/20 and now I really do feel like a fool, because as everyone including myself has said there were glaring redflags there that I continued to overlook throughout the relationship. I should say however, that like most women aside from her tatts and just overall vibe, she did manage to cover up a lot of her red flags and it was over time that they really started to come out, but at that point she already had her claws dug into me and I was smitten by lust.
Not that it is ever a good excuse, but most women are such masters of making themselves out to be something they really aren't, a victim of a troubled past, they try to portray themselves as changed, how they learned so much and grew so much, but in reality the old saying is true... "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."
Now I need to take responsibility for my own actions and decisions, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am really realizing that I have lot's of "captain save a ho" tendencies, and often fall into this dynamic where I find a troubled woman and I unconciously without even being aware, want to help her and be there for her. I am starting to suspect that I attract women like this in my life, or they are attracted to me, since I tend to be a good bit older, more established, more stable, and have my shit together.
The old school rappers are right, "you can't make a ho a housewife", and playing "captain save a ho" is nothing but a fool's errand.
Another issue I have is I'm too damn trusting of women, especially once we've been having a bunch of sex, hanging out all the time, and they've gotten into my head and bonded with me on an emotional level. It's like I really want to believe them when they say they love me, when they say that I mean everything to them, that they've changed, and now their lives are so complete.
I know... it's all a bunch of blue pill, beta, pathetic, oneitis bullshit. I need to work on that shit, and purge it from my system. Like some guys have said, even though I'm a little upset still, it's probably a blessing in disguise. For sure I didn't want to be with her long term more than I already had, I sure as fucking shit knew there was no way in hell I was going to ever want to marry or have kids with her, so her breaking up was really the best thing for both of us. I guess I just got too caught up in the comfort of having a live in girl, who not only provided constant good sex, but also the illusion of companionship with a person who loved and cherished me.
All we can do in life is learn from our mistakes, I know I've had a couple other whack relationships in the past, so maybe I didn't learn as much from those as I should have, sometimes we got to get knocked down a few times before we can get back up and learn our lesson, it's the school of hard knocks.
A lot of guys helped put shit into perspective, even though I still feel like I got played by this shit, it could have been a million times worse, I could have gotten her pregnant, she could have stole from me, she could have done some really unsavory shit. Even though it was a painful experience and it may make me look like a simp in many of your eyes, I can really give two shits, I'm glad to share this story so that a lot of new guys on here and even old ones can learn from my mistakes, read this story and see where I fucked up. Guys like Travesty, please call me out if you feel the need to, not doing so because I have more rep points is fucking lame, I'm a big boy I can take all your harsh criticism, it will only make me stronger.