Hey guys,
Last night, I had an awesome night with a girl, and just wanted to share some reflection of my life after discovering the manosphere and red pill life in general.
A few years ago I got totally punked by a girl. We hung out all the time, texting, going on long walks, all that shit. Totally thought we were going to hook up (this went on for several weeks) until I was at a party with her and saw her hook up with another guy who she didn't even know. I texted her the next day saying "how could you do that to me?" and she couldn't give two fucks. She was Asian American.
I was 25 at the time.
I am not a prize by any means. I'm 5'5, skinny, with an average man's face. Girls tell me I'm funny a lot, and that's about all the compliments I get.
After this episode, I started Googling shit like 'how to not get friend zoned' and 'how to get girls to like you'. I am actually laughing out loud as I type this because I am realizing how clueless I was back then and how cringe-worthy my behavior must have been.
That presented me with "The Game" by Neil Strauss, which I read, then I watched both seasons of "The Pickup Artist", and then I found this forum. It was information overload but my mind was blown.
During the following 2 years I went through all the stages. I tried opening girls with "jealous girlfriend", wearing tight jeans, and using all the canned lines that are popular like "you're pretty, but everyone here is pretty. What else would make me want to date you?"
I watched all Neil Strauss' Youtube videos, and tried the "you have to answer 5 questions wrong" gambit and "The Cube".
Yeah, I did all that shit.
I still remember the first girl I opened at a bar, she was smoking hot and sitting at a table with one other girl. Everyone was looking at her. I walked up to her and tried the jealous girlfriend opener on her. She was receptive and her and her friend started discussing it, and when they were done I just said, "Cool, thanks!" and walked away. I was shitting myself, but I was proud for opening a girl that everyone else was too scared to open, even if I did run off like a bitch afterwards.
All this gimmicky stuff wasn't really that effective, but it worked. It worked in the sense that it helped me shed my old skin and do shit I would've never done before.
Then I started reading more and more threads on this forum. First, I started lifting. I've always been athletic and good at sports like tennis etc, but nothing that gave me any bulk. I was super skinny. But with a reasonably athletic background I moved quickly in the weight room. I started on the bench at 60lbs, within 6 months I was pushing 180lb. I was deadlifting over 220lb. This for a guy who used to weight 110lb. Girls immediately noticed the change in my body, always commenting on my muscles and fitness. I still remember the first time - when one girl at our table said, "here, can you open this, since you're the strongest guy here." I was like WTF? 12 months ago I was the butt of small man jokes. I opened the bottle, and as I was doing it she felt my flexed tricep and smiled at me. This shit was all so new to me.
Now, I eat well, lift regularly, and girls always comment on my body. After sex, they lie in bed and stroke my chest and abs, running their fingers between the grooves of my muscles. Makes me feel like a bad cunt. The Zinc thread, the ACV thread, and the Juice thread have also all had impacts on my life, as I'm sure it has for most of the guys here.
ACV http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-7518.html
Zinc - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15255.html
Juicing - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-11589.html
I worked on my style, spurred by the Style thread by Mixx:
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-9489.html
I literally went out and blew like $2,000 on a new wardrobe. I was actually in London at the time and they have some cool shit over there. The chicks loved it. I've learned that good clothes on a good body is a total ladykiller, even for a short dude like me. Short dudes actually look fucking boss when they're dressed well and walk with confidence. Chicks look at you like, wow, he's confident. Big takeaway for me was don't be afraid to stand out - even today I still think, nah I can't wear these fucking shoes, everyone's going to look at me. Then I remember that's the point, you're dressing to stand out. And girls will notice you and if you're confident, you win.
Body language was a big one for me. Making more eye contact has made a huge difference. I used to look at the ground when I talked. Now I look at a girl's eyes and I can see her going gaga over me. I started talking with a lower voice (shout-out to Mark Manson and his book Models for that - in short, his tip was to say something and then hold your nose and say it again. It should sound the same and if it doesn't, adjust your voice so that it does).
I traveled whenever I could. I've been all through Asia and South America and parts of Europe. I learned Spanish, Japanese and Chinese. More than anything, this is what woo's girls. They love to talk about this shit, and I'm getting good at dropping DHV stories into conversations, often using Roosh's elderly opener (although I don't really use it as an opener, I use it mid conversation mostly). It hooks them immediately.
Sex is a different world now. Now I get bored if I don't tie the girls hands up, choke her out, slap her ass as hard as I can, push her head into the mattress and dominate her. I still remember the first time I choked my girlfriend, I was almost shaking. I thought she was going to flip out at me. I just did it lightly while kissing her gently and she was fine. The next time, I went animal and choked her, probably too hard, and fucked the hell out of her. She has never gotten so wet. She starting begging me for sex after that. One time I didn't choke her, and while were lying in bed after she actually said to me, "I really like it when you do that," and put my hand on her throat, making sure I did it next time. Shout-out to MikeCF for his awesome posts on choking and dominating chicks in bed - this is a good one: http://www.dangerandplay.com/2011/12/26/...e-a-woman/
I learned to stop having limiting beliefs about my height. I'm 5'5, so most girls are either same height or taller than me. I learned this is all about frame. If girls mention my height, I just say, "Are you that insecure that you can't date a shorter guy? I date taller girls all the time, and I don't give a fuck, because I'm comfortable with myself. You should stop caring so much what other people think of you." And suddenly they want to date you. And the truth is I still give a bit of a fuck about my height, but not nearly as much as I used to. Shout-out to scotian, who is on the short team too; I read all your stories and they inspire the fuck out of me. He is getting so much ass all over the world, I feel like I need to hurry up and catch up.
Anyway, what made me write this post is this. Last night I had a girl in my bed. I couldn't even get hard for fucks sake, so we didn't even bang. We just lay in bed, making out, playing with each other. We did everything except bang. I actually met her through my social circle about 2 weeks ago, and since then we've had a few make-outs, and we talk all the time because I pass by her work often, but she's always busy. I finally got her on a date and while we were in bed last night we were just chatting. (she's Argentinian, so I was practicing my Spanish with her, mostly saying stupid shit). Then I asked her why she came on a date with me.
"The first moment I met you, I knew you were fun. I even said to my friend, this guy seems like a really fun guy. Just the look in your eyes, I knew."
I say "Oh really, no girls ever say that about me. I can't get girls for some reason, I've never even had a girlfriend"
Then I get the "whatever" smile, the punch on the arm, roll of the eyes. Funny thing is, 2-3 years ago that was actually the truth. And I still even feel like that sometimes.
She goes on:
"You're like a Latino, you seem so confident all the time. You are like too confident."
"What do you mean?"
"The way you talk to girls, I see you talk to girls in the bar, even the guys told me you always have girls around you in the bar."
(I don't actually, but I do open girls more often than I used to. Then I realized, 90% of guys in the bar just go and stand against the wall, like I used to, so of course I will stand out).
"And how you dress. You always look good. I know you always try to look good. I'm sure girls are looking at you."
"Your eyes. The way you look at me. You are so confident."
I am actually leaving this country soon, so I told her I'm going to miss her.
"[Laugh] You are not the kind of guy who will miss girls."
"Why?"
"Because you are one of those guys."
This girl was staring into my eyes the whole night. I could see her falling in love with me. She couldn't stop kissing me. All the shit she was saying to me was shit I thought girls only say to guys in the movies. The whole moment was a massive realization. My life has changed so fucking much, but it was small little changes over 2-3 years. When this change started, first I changed my jeans, then my shirts, then my shoes, then my eye contact, then my voice, then my lifestyle, then the way I talk, the way I kiss, the way I fuck. It is hard to notice the changes as they are gradual, but when I compare my current self to my old self, it's a fucking different person. I needed to reflect to realise that. And you realise, all the shit that you do (upgrading your style, body language, voice), girls really do notice it all.
I think about it more, and can recall several girls that have called me a 'player' and a 'playboy' after just having met me. The funny thing is, I'm actually not, I still prefer relationships to ONS's and enjoy developing emotional connections with women. Fucking random girls rarely fulfills me. But obviously, I am giving off a vibe that I am 'good' with women, maybe it's the clothes, or the talking, or the muscles, I don't know, probably all of it. The point is, this would have all been a total joke a few years ago. I was 100% nice guy nerd back then, and if someone had called me a playboy they would certainly have been mocking me out of the room.
Game:
If there's any advice I can leave at the end of this, it's this.
I am still developing my game, and am far from expert, I still get approach anxiety like a motherfucker and have nights where I go out and it's a total flop, I don't have the balls to open anyone and go home feeling like a punk. But I'm figuring out that night-game isn't my thing. I prefer to meet girls during the natural course of the day. The other day at the airport, some chick was sitting next to me at a cafe while I was reading, her sandwich and fries arrived and I just said, "Excuse me, those smell amazing. I'm just going to steal couple of your fries." We talked and flirted and I got her Facebook, it was so much more natural than hitting on drunk chicks at the bar and I enjoyed it a lot more. I have been doing most of my approaching like this recently, and I meet much cooler girls than I do at night. For me, it fits better. The resulting dates are also more fun than nights out drinking and getting fucked up, for me anyway.
I've also tried the asshole thing and it doesn't work so well for me, I am not naturally a confrontational or arrogant person, so it is hard for me to get that vibe off authentically. I have seemed to have most success with confident, nice guy game. It is opposite to what many guys on here advocate for, but it works for me. I am nice to her, I pay for the date, I hold her hand, I'm polite, and I'm a one-girl-at-a-time kind of guy. But I give off a confident vibe that my life is together, I dress sharp, I'm funny, I talk confidently, and I don't take bullshit. I'm a nice guy, but they know if they punk around I will find another girl very easily, because I have my shit together. This works for me, and girls just fall head over heels for it. I now recognize that look in their eye, a deep gaze. It's the falling in love look. They look at me, all starry eyed, like they can't believe they found me. It's the best feeling in the world. I used to think nice guys finish last, but it's really just losers that finish last. You can still be a nice guy and be a boss who demands respect.
I guess the point is you have to find your own style of game, everyone's is different. What works for some guys doesn't work for you and so when you read game advice you need to disregard the shit that doesn't fit with your personality and embrace the stuff that does. I have been listening to the CMQ show (shout-out to McQueen and Dagonet I listen to an episode before I go out and it gets me fucking pumped) and I relate much more to Dagonet than I do to McQueen. McQueen is all alpha asshole as fuck and Dagonet has got his shit together but still seems like a relationship guy. There are different styles of game and they all work, just need to find what fits.
Anyway, I feel bad that I haven't contributed to this forum as much as I should have, I have lurked here for over a year at least before I ever signed up, and have just been leeching all the great info you guys post.
I just posted this to say thanks to all the guys here for all the awesome advice you share and put together. I've learned tonnes from all of you and it's changed my life completely. I'm a different, better man now, people respect me but more importantly I respect myself and no longer have a scarcity mentality about money, girls, and life in general. It's been eye opening and I'm glad I found the other side in my 20's rather than my 50's, when I'm already stuck in a shit marriage with a basket of kids.
Thanks for all of it, and from now on, when I'm in a position to, I'll contribute whatever I can.
Cheers
Gas
Last night, I had an awesome night with a girl, and just wanted to share some reflection of my life after discovering the manosphere and red pill life in general.
A few years ago I got totally punked by a girl. We hung out all the time, texting, going on long walks, all that shit. Totally thought we were going to hook up (this went on for several weeks) until I was at a party with her and saw her hook up with another guy who she didn't even know. I texted her the next day saying "how could you do that to me?" and she couldn't give two fucks. She was Asian American.
I was 25 at the time.
I am not a prize by any means. I'm 5'5, skinny, with an average man's face. Girls tell me I'm funny a lot, and that's about all the compliments I get.
After this episode, I started Googling shit like 'how to not get friend zoned' and 'how to get girls to like you'. I am actually laughing out loud as I type this because I am realizing how clueless I was back then and how cringe-worthy my behavior must have been.
That presented me with "The Game" by Neil Strauss, which I read, then I watched both seasons of "The Pickup Artist", and then I found this forum. It was information overload but my mind was blown.
During the following 2 years I went through all the stages. I tried opening girls with "jealous girlfriend", wearing tight jeans, and using all the canned lines that are popular like "you're pretty, but everyone here is pretty. What else would make me want to date you?"
I watched all Neil Strauss' Youtube videos, and tried the "you have to answer 5 questions wrong" gambit and "The Cube".
Yeah, I did all that shit.
I still remember the first girl I opened at a bar, she was smoking hot and sitting at a table with one other girl. Everyone was looking at her. I walked up to her and tried the jealous girlfriend opener on her. She was receptive and her and her friend started discussing it, and when they were done I just said, "Cool, thanks!" and walked away. I was shitting myself, but I was proud for opening a girl that everyone else was too scared to open, even if I did run off like a bitch afterwards.
All this gimmicky stuff wasn't really that effective, but it worked. It worked in the sense that it helped me shed my old skin and do shit I would've never done before.
Then I started reading more and more threads on this forum. First, I started lifting. I've always been athletic and good at sports like tennis etc, but nothing that gave me any bulk. I was super skinny. But with a reasonably athletic background I moved quickly in the weight room. I started on the bench at 60lbs, within 6 months I was pushing 180lb. I was deadlifting over 220lb. This for a guy who used to weight 110lb. Girls immediately noticed the change in my body, always commenting on my muscles and fitness. I still remember the first time - when one girl at our table said, "here, can you open this, since you're the strongest guy here." I was like WTF? 12 months ago I was the butt of small man jokes. I opened the bottle, and as I was doing it she felt my flexed tricep and smiled at me. This shit was all so new to me.
Now, I eat well, lift regularly, and girls always comment on my body. After sex, they lie in bed and stroke my chest and abs, running their fingers between the grooves of my muscles. Makes me feel like a bad cunt. The Zinc thread, the ACV thread, and the Juice thread have also all had impacts on my life, as I'm sure it has for most of the guys here.
ACV http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-7518.html
Zinc - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15255.html
Juicing - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-11589.html
I worked on my style, spurred by the Style thread by Mixx:
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-9489.html
I literally went out and blew like $2,000 on a new wardrobe. I was actually in London at the time and they have some cool shit over there. The chicks loved it. I've learned that good clothes on a good body is a total ladykiller, even for a short dude like me. Short dudes actually look fucking boss when they're dressed well and walk with confidence. Chicks look at you like, wow, he's confident. Big takeaway for me was don't be afraid to stand out - even today I still think, nah I can't wear these fucking shoes, everyone's going to look at me. Then I remember that's the point, you're dressing to stand out. And girls will notice you and if you're confident, you win.
Body language was a big one for me. Making more eye contact has made a huge difference. I used to look at the ground when I talked. Now I look at a girl's eyes and I can see her going gaga over me. I started talking with a lower voice (shout-out to Mark Manson and his book Models for that - in short, his tip was to say something and then hold your nose and say it again. It should sound the same and if it doesn't, adjust your voice so that it does).
I traveled whenever I could. I've been all through Asia and South America and parts of Europe. I learned Spanish, Japanese and Chinese. More than anything, this is what woo's girls. They love to talk about this shit, and I'm getting good at dropping DHV stories into conversations, often using Roosh's elderly opener (although I don't really use it as an opener, I use it mid conversation mostly). It hooks them immediately.
Sex is a different world now. Now I get bored if I don't tie the girls hands up, choke her out, slap her ass as hard as I can, push her head into the mattress and dominate her. I still remember the first time I choked my girlfriend, I was almost shaking. I thought she was going to flip out at me. I just did it lightly while kissing her gently and she was fine. The next time, I went animal and choked her, probably too hard, and fucked the hell out of her. She has never gotten so wet. She starting begging me for sex after that. One time I didn't choke her, and while were lying in bed after she actually said to me, "I really like it when you do that," and put my hand on her throat, making sure I did it next time. Shout-out to MikeCF for his awesome posts on choking and dominating chicks in bed - this is a good one: http://www.dangerandplay.com/2011/12/26/...e-a-woman/
I learned to stop having limiting beliefs about my height. I'm 5'5, so most girls are either same height or taller than me. I learned this is all about frame. If girls mention my height, I just say, "Are you that insecure that you can't date a shorter guy? I date taller girls all the time, and I don't give a fuck, because I'm comfortable with myself. You should stop caring so much what other people think of you." And suddenly they want to date you. And the truth is I still give a bit of a fuck about my height, but not nearly as much as I used to. Shout-out to scotian, who is on the short team too; I read all your stories and they inspire the fuck out of me. He is getting so much ass all over the world, I feel like I need to hurry up and catch up.
Anyway, what made me write this post is this. Last night I had a girl in my bed. I couldn't even get hard for fucks sake, so we didn't even bang. We just lay in bed, making out, playing with each other. We did everything except bang. I actually met her through my social circle about 2 weeks ago, and since then we've had a few make-outs, and we talk all the time because I pass by her work often, but she's always busy. I finally got her on a date and while we were in bed last night we were just chatting. (she's Argentinian, so I was practicing my Spanish with her, mostly saying stupid shit). Then I asked her why she came on a date with me.
"The first moment I met you, I knew you were fun. I even said to my friend, this guy seems like a really fun guy. Just the look in your eyes, I knew."
I say "Oh really, no girls ever say that about me. I can't get girls for some reason, I've never even had a girlfriend"
Then I get the "whatever" smile, the punch on the arm, roll of the eyes. Funny thing is, 2-3 years ago that was actually the truth. And I still even feel like that sometimes.
She goes on:
"You're like a Latino, you seem so confident all the time. You are like too confident."
"What do you mean?"
"The way you talk to girls, I see you talk to girls in the bar, even the guys told me you always have girls around you in the bar."
(I don't actually, but I do open girls more often than I used to. Then I realized, 90% of guys in the bar just go and stand against the wall, like I used to, so of course I will stand out).
"And how you dress. You always look good. I know you always try to look good. I'm sure girls are looking at you."
"Your eyes. The way you look at me. You are so confident."
I am actually leaving this country soon, so I told her I'm going to miss her.
"[Laugh] You are not the kind of guy who will miss girls."
"Why?"
"Because you are one of those guys."
This girl was staring into my eyes the whole night. I could see her falling in love with me. She couldn't stop kissing me. All the shit she was saying to me was shit I thought girls only say to guys in the movies. The whole moment was a massive realization. My life has changed so fucking much, but it was small little changes over 2-3 years. When this change started, first I changed my jeans, then my shirts, then my shoes, then my eye contact, then my voice, then my lifestyle, then the way I talk, the way I kiss, the way I fuck. It is hard to notice the changes as they are gradual, but when I compare my current self to my old self, it's a fucking different person. I needed to reflect to realise that. And you realise, all the shit that you do (upgrading your style, body language, voice), girls really do notice it all.
I think about it more, and can recall several girls that have called me a 'player' and a 'playboy' after just having met me. The funny thing is, I'm actually not, I still prefer relationships to ONS's and enjoy developing emotional connections with women. Fucking random girls rarely fulfills me. But obviously, I am giving off a vibe that I am 'good' with women, maybe it's the clothes, or the talking, or the muscles, I don't know, probably all of it. The point is, this would have all been a total joke a few years ago. I was 100% nice guy nerd back then, and if someone had called me a playboy they would certainly have been mocking me out of the room.
Game:
If there's any advice I can leave at the end of this, it's this.
I am still developing my game, and am far from expert, I still get approach anxiety like a motherfucker and have nights where I go out and it's a total flop, I don't have the balls to open anyone and go home feeling like a punk. But I'm figuring out that night-game isn't my thing. I prefer to meet girls during the natural course of the day. The other day at the airport, some chick was sitting next to me at a cafe while I was reading, her sandwich and fries arrived and I just said, "Excuse me, those smell amazing. I'm just going to steal couple of your fries." We talked and flirted and I got her Facebook, it was so much more natural than hitting on drunk chicks at the bar and I enjoyed it a lot more. I have been doing most of my approaching like this recently, and I meet much cooler girls than I do at night. For me, it fits better. The resulting dates are also more fun than nights out drinking and getting fucked up, for me anyway.
I've also tried the asshole thing and it doesn't work so well for me, I am not naturally a confrontational or arrogant person, so it is hard for me to get that vibe off authentically. I have seemed to have most success with confident, nice guy game. It is opposite to what many guys on here advocate for, but it works for me. I am nice to her, I pay for the date, I hold her hand, I'm polite, and I'm a one-girl-at-a-time kind of guy. But I give off a confident vibe that my life is together, I dress sharp, I'm funny, I talk confidently, and I don't take bullshit. I'm a nice guy, but they know if they punk around I will find another girl very easily, because I have my shit together. This works for me, and girls just fall head over heels for it. I now recognize that look in their eye, a deep gaze. It's the falling in love look. They look at me, all starry eyed, like they can't believe they found me. It's the best feeling in the world. I used to think nice guys finish last, but it's really just losers that finish last. You can still be a nice guy and be a boss who demands respect.
I guess the point is you have to find your own style of game, everyone's is different. What works for some guys doesn't work for you and so when you read game advice you need to disregard the shit that doesn't fit with your personality and embrace the stuff that does. I have been listening to the CMQ show (shout-out to McQueen and Dagonet I listen to an episode before I go out and it gets me fucking pumped) and I relate much more to Dagonet than I do to McQueen. McQueen is all alpha asshole as fuck and Dagonet has got his shit together but still seems like a relationship guy. There are different styles of game and they all work, just need to find what fits.
Anyway, I feel bad that I haven't contributed to this forum as much as I should have, I have lurked here for over a year at least before I ever signed up, and have just been leeching all the great info you guys post.
I just posted this to say thanks to all the guys here for all the awesome advice you share and put together. I've learned tonnes from all of you and it's changed my life completely. I'm a different, better man now, people respect me but more importantly I respect myself and no longer have a scarcity mentality about money, girls, and life in general. It's been eye opening and I'm glad I found the other side in my 20's rather than my 50's, when I'm already stuck in a shit marriage with a basket of kids.
Thanks for all of it, and from now on, when I'm in a position to, I'll contribute whatever I can.
Cheers
Gas
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