This is shaping out to be a hall-of-fame thread. Amazing stories so far. I have a couple of solid candidates, and it's a difficult choice. I'll go with this one:
My First Ginger Broad
I've banged a few redheads now, but back when I hadn't, I was really thirsty for that redheaded notch. So, in a moment of weakness, I hit up this fire-red ginger chick online who looked to be like a 6, at best, from her images. But the intensity of her redness left no doubt that it would count as the "bang a redhead" check-mark on my bucket list.
When I met up with her,
she looked considerably worse than her pics (as is often the case). She had a crooked, gummy smile and an obnoxious laugh that closely resembled the Revenge of Nerds guy.
To make matters worse, she had a stocky-ass build. And, I don't mean stocky in the petite sense--which might be marginally acceptable. She was probably 5'8", and
wide. Not fat, per se, but not skinny either. She claimed to be a "good defender" in soccer and had the corresponding body. But her hair was long, and as red as a crayon. And, from what I could see of her body, she was covered in freckles. Her knees were the size of small honeydew melons and her calves looked like those squirt-soap dispensers in public bathrooms.
(I'd gotten a good look at her legs, since she
had literally worn mesh shorts to our first "date.")
Shit, I had nothing better to do, and my game was as sharp as a knife during that period, so I dropped airtight game almost without trying. My stuff was landing, and I had that bitch laughing that hideous laugh for the better part of an hour. It cut through that bar, and I'm sure other people took note of it. I actually cringed and looked around every time she released it. After a round of drinks--and against my better judgment--I talked her back to my apartment using some plausibly deniable excuse.
She accepted.
I prepped us some drinks and picked up where I'd left off. At a certain point--still determined to bang--I went in for the make out. Even though her body was soft all around, my boner didn't seem to mind all that much--intrigued by the novelty colors I was encountering as I made my way around her dumpy body. When I went to pry off her mesh shorts, she stopped me and said, in her low, manly voice:
Quote:Quote:
Redhead: Umm. I don't really have sex unless I'm dating someone.
That brought me to my senses for quick second, and I started second-guessing whether I should be banging this chick. I'd recently experienced the horrible hangover of
messing with a dumpster piece, and wasn't ready to experience it again quite yet. I took my foot off the gas and just started talking to her normally, deliberating in my head whether I should even re-engage. While my head was doing that, my mouth said:
Quote:Quote:
Tuthmosis: Yeah, I'm not really a sex-on-the-first-date guy either.
She felt the inadvertent freeze-out. I mean, I'd done this move on purpose countless times before, but never by
accident. And, after a little more talking, she re-engaged
herself. She went in for a kiss, and immediately started rubbing my dick. When I made some half-ass work toward her tits, she took her shirt clean off.
Despite the fact that her body was a fucking refrigerator--with a flat ass to boot--taking off her shirt revealed a
glowing set of perfect tits. They pointed straight to the lord, the nipples were the right dimensions, and they were the color of fresh cream. They made about as much sense on that girl as running into the Palace of Versailles in the Bronx.
The shorts came off and I got a glimpse of her fire crotch. At that point, there was no turning back. I went in. The actual bang cycled from marginally enjoyable to totally hideous. The flawless tits were a joy, but certain angles made it look like I was banging Bill Burr with a pussy.
The chick hit me up several times after that assuming, I think, that we would start "dating." I actually succumbed and banged her out one more time, but I felt horrible at how low I'd stooped for a simple cross-out on my bucket list.
Bang a real redhead