Off one of the many reddit confession threads. The story is mundane enough, but one of the responses is classic.
Xythem15 739 points 5 months ago
This girl at a party once was so hammered, vomiting in the 3rd floor bathroom at a house while everyone was on the 1st floor. Someone told me i was the most sober, so i should go help; and i regret agreeing to that. She was borderline drowning... by herself, in the toilet water. i panicked. i pulled her out, expecting to have to give her CPR but thankfully it wasn't necessary. we talked for a while, i calmed her down and got her a glass of water. and out of the blue, she confesses to me how much she hates her boyfriend Ian and how she loves to cheat on him when she goes to parties.
oh, by the way. it was a costume party, Halloween 2010. and my name is Ian... i had to save my girlfriends life, then hear about how much she hated me and loves being a whore.
...
dimondolla 333 points 5 months ago
Head goes back into the toilet.
Xythem15 739 points 5 months ago
This girl at a party once was so hammered, vomiting in the 3rd floor bathroom at a house while everyone was on the 1st floor. Someone told me i was the most sober, so i should go help; and i regret agreeing to that. She was borderline drowning... by herself, in the toilet water. i panicked. i pulled her out, expecting to have to give her CPR but thankfully it wasn't necessary. we talked for a while, i calmed her down and got her a glass of water. and out of the blue, she confesses to me how much she hates her boyfriend Ian and how she loves to cheat on him when she goes to parties.
oh, by the way. it was a costume party, Halloween 2010. and my name is Ian... i had to save my girlfriends life, then hear about how much she hated me and loves being a whore.
...
dimondolla 333 points 5 months ago
Head goes back into the toilet.