[ru2486]

Mods: Not sure if this should be in the newbie forum, if so, I apologize.

TLDR: Facially Disfigured/Low Self-Confidence Man Runs Game, It works

Apologies in advance for the length: I'm trying to open up my story here to the fellow lurkers who might have self-confidence issues regarding immutable physical features. I apologize to the forum members who think this is too long of a post for nothing special.

I'm longtime-lurker here on the forum and I've been reading Roosh and Roissy/Heartiste since Spring 2011. I'm almost entirely a consumer of game information, too low self-confidence to actively put it in motion. Not even a keyboard warrior, just a mental subscriber to the Red Pill if nothing else.

A bit of deep background: I was born facially disfigured with Goldenhar Syndrome (you can wiki it). I was born without a left-jawbone, almost entirely deaf if uncorrected by hearing aids, and urine incontinence. Over my lifetime, I've had over 45 surgeries to correct these various conditions.

Despite this, I've had what I would consider a relatively normal life of school, work, athletics and friends. Most friends would say that they initially noticed something was off about my face, but now they don't even think about it. I've always considered myself ugly and sexually unattractive to women, even though I have a number of female friends.

After a big victory in the DI varsity sport I competed in in my sophomore year, the summer after I finally asked out a girl who was a senior in high school and got my first kiss at age 20 (I was her first kiss as well). We entered in what would be a 4 year relationship in which we were both each other's first for everything sexually related. I clearly made many beta mistakes in the relationship, and she eventually broke up with me in the summer of 2011.

What followed has been a sexless 2 years in which I wondered whether my ex-gf was the only girl who was attracted to me. This coincided with me reading Roosh and Heartiste and trying to improve myself: I went back to school (law) and am on a path to a good income with little debt. I've been lifting, and have put on 30 lbs since I graduated college 4 years ago. I dress better, and I try to mimic more alpha body movements, hold eye contact, etc. But I do everything except approach, which I have yet to do, and for which I should be criticized.

This past week a lot changed. I've been on the Tinder app, but with shitty pictures. I changed the pics to better pics of me, and aggressively started liking as many pictures of girls as physically possible on the app. I've been messaging with more than I thought would be interested.

Last Thursday, thanks to the Tinder app thread and other threads (mainly those about first dates, avoiding food, bouncing to multiple venues to create intimacy and trust ("mini-dates")), I was able to set up a date and I got my first kiss and make-out in over 2 years.

I saw the girl again on Sunday, same deal, and even finger-banged her on the escalator of the Metro. I tried both times to get her to come back to get the lay, but to no avail. She's out of town until the end of the week, but hopefully we'll set up something again.

The real point here is that "Game" works. From the meta life improvement changes down to the nitty-gritty logistics and tactics, game works.

I now realize that a big fear of mine - that only girl liked me and that I might not find somebody else - is demonstrably false. I now realize that when girls look at me, perhaps what I used to interpret as wondering about my facial impairment might be reinterpreted as IOIs or at least curiosity and openness to being opened. So for those guys who fear that one physical trait might be holding you back, here's proof that with enough hard work, self-improvement and attempts, you can succeed more than you ever thought you would.

So to Roosh, Heartiste, and Rollo Tomassi, and the forum members - thank you. I'm happy to provide more details on either my deep background, or the dates themselves, or any other specific questions.

[Agent 47]

Good for you man. That syndrome is terrible. Just goes to show that positive action is the way to go. Good luck in all your future endeavors and bangs.

[big poppa]

Good on you man. It would be easy to let something like that force you to give up with women and live a negative self fulfilling prophecy. Best of luck with everything. You've kissed more girls than 2 of my virgin mates who have no real barriers to overcome. Just proves that its all in the mindset

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Your story is very inspirational. I commend you for not giving up. Thank gods that male sexual value is dependent on so much more than looks and is hard to earn but fluid. If you were born a female, you would be stuck with it and there would be nothing you could do.

Wish you all the best!

[PrimeTime32]

Just remember this man, game is the great equalizer.

[Raj]

You the man. Respect.

[BlurredSevens]

This is a great thread. Much respect for overcoming your personal setbacks and getting after it.

The most important game lesson I've learned is that how you make a girl feel is always going to be more important than your raw physical attractiveness. Sounds like you are discovering the same truth.

Don't sweat the lack of approaching, it will come with self-confidence and you'll work through it. In the meantime be careful not to fall into the trap of only using online dating sites, you'll psych yourself out if it's not balanced with in person approaching and real time feedback from girls.

Look up Giovonny's many posts on his successful and failed approaches - will give you great perspective and motivation to start pounding the pavement yourself.

[stranger]

It's all about frame.

I knew some guy in university who was missing a ear. No joke, part of the ear shape was there, but it was mostly flat against the side of his head. There was no earhole (red zigzag underline, I guess earhole is not really a word). He met a pretty good looking girl during the year, so it was not like he knew her from before.

In regular social settings, the guy was hilarious, could entertain a crowd around him, make everyone laugh.

He was pretty fit, skinny but toned.

Anyone who saw him from far away may have noticed the disfigurement, but once you are talking to him, or hear him talk, and especially if you know him, you completely forget. I honestly felt bad and realized it afterwards, sometimes in class we would sit in the back and talk, and I would whisper to the missing ear, and he would kind of reposition to hear me properly. These types of scenarios would happen quite a bit as I was completely unaware of it after I knew him.

[Agastya]

Stories like this make me really pissed at the betas who bitch and whine about how they can't get pussy. A guy with a facial disorder can get ass after consistent work and self improvement, but IRT can't? Ridiculous. I looked up pictures of people with Goldenhar's Syndrome, if someone that facially distorted can pull girls, then the betas and race trolls have no excuse whatsoever.

Inspiring shit man. Spend a few months hitting the pavement, six approaches a day if you can. I wish you the best of luck.

[Lucario]

Nerdy guy with hot girls.

http://happyplace.someecards.com/25837/i...-hot-girls

[pheonix500000]

(11-13-2013 11:20 PM)Lucario Wrote:  

Nerdy guy with hot girls.

http://happyplace.someecards.com/25837/i...-hot-girls

Nice try but that's a dyke.

[Virtus]

Well, as the 18th century French Philosopher, Voltaire said: "Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face and I will bed the Queen of France".

Also

Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrano_de_Bergerac

Good job!

[Chief Slapaho]

Game/Lifestyle does work...

His wife looks pretty good.

[Screwston]

[ru2486]

Shamelessly bumping my thread, but I wanted to update RVF on my progress and to thank you guys for all of the support and encouragement. It's a bit of a confusing jumble of thoughts, but it's after 3 AM here.

The girl I fingerbanged last week, well after I suggested yesterday via text that we hang out tonight, she said she was gonna be tired and was going to want to sleep. So I didn't respond to her text. She then texted me around noon today with a picture from an aquarium that she went to. Didn't respond to that text. She then texted me at 5 PM saying we could see a movie tonight. So we went and saw a movie, with pretty decent kino during the movie. We then went to 2 bars, both of us drinking on an empty stomach. Convinced her to come back to my place, and although I didn't get the bang (she wanted me to use a condom and I'm allergic to latex, plus I hate them), we went down on each other for awhile. It was great. (Shameless here, but it was great how at the end when we were cuddling, she couldn't stop complimenting my "ripped body" (just lol at me being ripped) - guys if you work out and grow a beard, they won't notice your busted face!)

It's been awhile, but hearing a girl moan at the things you're doing to her is just simply indescribable. This girl is a lot more vocal and louder than my ex of 2 years ago. Tonight, by the way, was our 3rd date - am I being stringed along or should I just be happy that I've gotten this far this quickly with this particular girl?

I have another Tinder date set up with a different girl on Wednesday. During my date tonight, I got matched with another 3 girls on Tinder. Is it just me, or does it rain when it pours? I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but a month ago I felt like Moses in the Sinai desert. I just turned 27 a few weeks ago and something feels different, like I'm a bit older and more experienced than I was at 26. I look at Rollo Tomassi's famous slut v. player chart and according to that my SMV has barely begun to rise and I'm barely in the marriage zone, let alone the player zone, yet I'm already experiencing more success than I thought possible (and of course almost every single one of my close male friends is married, engaged, or in LTR soon to be engaged). I look at GManifesto's thread about 40 being the perfect age to game and think "can I really do this for the next 15 years at least"?

A lot of thinking out loud here - I know I'm getting ahead of myself. Please, more experienced RVF-ers, caution me, guide my thinking. I know I need to approach in person and not just rely on the internet. What else should I be thinking about here?

[Virtus]

(11-18-2013 03:25 AM)ru2486 Wrote:  

Shamelessly bumping my thread, but I wanted to update RVF on my progress and to thank you guys for all of the support and encouragement. It's a bit of a confusing jumble of thoughts, but it's after 3 AM here.

The girl I fingerbanged last week, well after I suggested yesterday via text that we hang out tonight, she said she was gonna be tired and was going to want to sleep. So I didn't respond to her text. She then texted me around noon today with a picture from an aquarium that she went to. Didn't respond to that text. She then texted me at 5 PM saying we could see a movie tonight. So we went and saw a movie, with pretty decent kino during the movie. We then went to 2 bars, both of us drinking on an empty stomach. Convinced her to come back to my place, and although I didn't get the bang (she wanted me to use a condom and I'm allergic to latex, plus I hate them), we went down on each other for awhile. It was great. (Shameless here, but it was great how at the end when we were cuddling, she couldn't stop complimenting my "ripped body" (just lol at me being ripped) - guys if you work out and grow a beard, they won't notice your busted face!)

It's been awhile, but hearing a girl moan at the things you're doing to her is just simply indescribable. This girl is a lot more vocal and louder than my ex of 2 years ago. Tonight, by the way, was our 3rd date - am I being stringed along or should I just be happy that I've gotten this far this quickly with this particular girl?

dude. you start from some place that's not great and do this? what do you want.. banana peels everywhere so grls magically fall down and then you just slip into their vaj right after?

fuck man. keep doin what you doin

[Libertas]

Well done. I wonder if you should consider writing this for ROK and going into even more detail. It's a pretty good story.

[bojangles]

Well done mate, keep it fucking up, you make a mockery of those pussies on pua hate etc.

[funkyzeit]

manlytears.jpg

[lush1]

I've got a friend who has a large red birth mark across her face. I only remembered it because I read this thread and even then I had to think for a few seconds which friend it was. The reason I had to think so hard is because I honestly do not see it, she's still attractive and despite noticing it initially its as if it doesn't exist.

I say this because it shows how little notice people take of these things

[ru2486]

Gentlemen, I have now banged 2 girls in my life.

This past Tuesday night I went on a okcupid date at a mexican place with a bar. We meet at 9 PM, had 2 rounds of margaritas and then I walked her to the metro, where the night ended with a hug. I figured the date was a bust and planned to not txt her for at least 2 days later. Well as it turned out she txted me this past Thursday asking me how my day was going. We set up an ice-skating date for tonight (Saturday). We went ice-skating; there was some kino during the iceskating as I was holding her hand and occasionally catching her before she fell. At dinner we sat across from each other, no kino, but we had 2 beers. As we got up to go she asked me what the plan was - I said "we'll go walk through the park." We walked through the park, eventually stopping at a railing overlooking the water, and we went from my arm around her to kissing, which led to groping.

Midway thru, she pulled and said something along the lines of "we need to figure out the next stop in the seduction process, it's too cold out here." So I then said 'Well we could go this bar right near here and step inside, or we could go back to my place." She then said laughed and said "I'm not having sex with you." And at that point I knew I was good. So we kept making out and groping each other. Eventually, I said "let's get out of here" and we started walking out of the park and eventually grabbed a cab and went back to my place.

We got back, started making out, undressed on the couch in my room, and then I picked her up and threw her on my bed. I fingered her, tried to put it in her - she said to get a condom but I refused as I'm allergic to latex, and then she went down on me, and then eventually she climbed on top of me and we had sex.

I think the key lesson here for me is that even when I think a situation is fucked or I didn't succeed enough or escalate enough (i.e. the first date), sometimes the girl still digs you and will come back around.

I think I'm still too beta post-coitus with cuddling and kissing her, and when she was getting ready to go I told her she could stay and I joked that I wasn't done with her just yet.

Guys, I'm gonna keep posting updates in this thread so as to help others realize that looks don't matter. I'm 5'7", somehow both skinny and fat, facially disfigured, losing hair, etc...

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Great personal story. Very inspirational.

I assume you're from the UK? If so, maybe you've seen the Ian Dury biopic, "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll." I'd recommend that to anyone here.

Dury was apparently an Alpha before he was famous. Yet he stood around five feet tall and was partially paralyzed by polio. On top of that, he suffered abuse at boarding schools for the disabled when he was a kid.

I'd read reviews of the film and they kept going on about things like "Despite his hardships he was a cad! He bedded woman after woman!" I'm like "Yeah and that's what made him really great!" People miss the big picture.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Side note: get condoms made out of some alternate material (lambskin?), as not all girls will be willing to accomodate your latex allergy and let you put it in raw.

[2Wycked]

You deserve it, bro.

What a complete privilege it is to read about your progression.

I am 100% about guys overcoming their issues.

Again, congrats.

[Screwston]

I'm gonna start saying I'm allergic to latex.