[worldwidetraveler]

I have lived overseas for quite some time and I have been back in the states for some time. My main goal, after coming back home, was to help out my family and finish up a major project. At that time, I had planned on leaving for some other adventure.

There are a lot of things about the US I hate. Thinking about them makes me want to pack up and say fuck you. If things would have been different with obligations here, there would have been a good chance I would have done just that.

Something happened in that time. It wasn't laziness because I am working as much as I have ever if not more. Maybe it was complacency, or my goals have changed.

Personally, I think I think I just realized that if you can’t find happiness where you are, you won’t find it somewhere else. After working out the pros and cons of going back overseas, I think I should be right where I am at.

I don’t really ever want to retire. I have more opportunities here than I can take advantage. I just don’t see life overseas as being better besides maybe the thrill of adventure and pussy. Don’t get me wrong, I will always travel, but my time of living overseas for years is at an end.

I guess the reason I am posting this is that a lot of guys think it is better for them somewhere else. Hell, for women, it probably is true. But that isn't all there is to life.

I say take the time to really know you. I have to say my travels have helped me to do just that and I recommend everyone to travel as much as possible.

I have seen some guys not be able to return home because they gave up everything to move overseas and spent too much time teaching English or some other skill that won’t help them make money if they returned home. They are stuck and you are only as good as your options.

Having options is freedom no matter where you are.

We create our own reality based on how we think. I am guilty of negative thinking and that has always led me to disappointment.

This was just some random thoughts I have been having which I thought might be a good topic of discussion.

[Hoodlum]

Some good wisdom.

"if you can’t find happiness where you are, you won’t find it somewhere else" - totally true. If you are first happy with yourself, and like who you are, it doesn't matter where you are. You can't fix the internal with an external change of scenery. Not for long anyway.

[Cyr]

(10-22-2013 10:30 AM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

We create our own reality based on how we think. I am guilty of negative thinking and that has always led me to be disappointed.

Very true. If you want to be annoyed/ angry you will be. My dad lives in a £800,000 house, is rich compared to 99.9% of the world, has done more in his life than most guys dream of and is permanently miserable because his life hasn't turned out the way he wanted it to. People should just accept the fact that in almost any situation you can be happy and sad, and try to maximise happiness wherever they live.

[pitt]

"'Personally, I think I think I just realized that if you can’t find happiness where you are, you won’t find it somewhere else"'

Totally disagree. Actually I believe location tends to be one of the key factors that influences my overall happiness. My happiness varies according to my location. I feel happier when I am travelling than when I am home, I bet many travelers on here feel the same way. If i travel to a new location and I don't like it, I am quick to leave it. I am not going to create a false mindset that makes me believe that I can be happy in any part of the world because it's not true.

You seem to value more money than life experiences or happiness. Yeah some of us could be making more money instead of travelling to exotic locations..but making money till when? Make a lot of money for what? To impress others? To have more women in 15 or 20 years? My present reality is too good to trade it with 15 years from now, thanks.

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-22-2013 12:31 PM)pitt Wrote:  

"'Personally, I think I think I just realized that if you can’t find happiness where you are, you won’t find it somewhere else"'

Totally disagree. Actually I believe location tends to be one of the key factors that influences my overall happiness. My happiness varies according to my location. I feel happier when I am travelling than when I am home, I bet many travelers on here feel the same way. If i travel to a new location and I don't like it, I am quick to leave it. I am not going to create a false mindset that makes me believe that I can be happy in any part of the world because it's not true.

You seem to value more money than life experiences or happiness. Yeah some of us could be making more money instead of travelling to exotic locations..but making money till when? Make a lot of money for what? To impress others? To have more women in 15 or 20 years? My present reality is too good to trade it with 15 years from now, thanks.

I don't value life experiences, eh? I lived in other countries and traveled to many more. What other life experiences do you have on me?

I think you are the one that is obsessed with money Pitt. I am doing what I enjoy doing. You are the one that worked in a place for money that you didn't enjoy. You continue worrying about bringing in more money which is why you pop up in threads like Scotian's.

Money is a necessary evil. I have had money and not have money. I prefer having it.

Pitt, why don't you come back when you hit your 40's and let us know what you think or don't.

[pitt]

Damn....

I was only giving my opinion, I don't think you like me at all haha..Anyway I am out of your thread.

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-22-2013 12:16 PM)Cyr Wrote:  

(10-22-2013 10:30 AM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

We create our own reality based on how we think. I am guilty of negative thinking and that has always led me to be disappointed.

Very true. If you want to be annoyed/ angry you will be. My dad lives in a £800,000 house, is rich compared to 99.9% of the world, has done more in his life than most guys dream of and is permanently miserable because his life hasn't turned out the way he wanted it to. People should just accept the fact that in almost any situation you can be happy and sad, and try to maximise happiness wherever they live.

Yeah, money won't change your outlook at all. When I was contracting, I was making over 500k a year. I was miserable. I ended up leaving that world and started over in real estate and then eventually in what I am doing right now.

It is a pain in the ass some days which makes you wish for a cushy job, but I wouldn't change it. haha

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-22-2013 12:46 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Damn....

I was only giving my opinion, I don't think you like me at all haha..Anyway I am out of your thread.

Pitt, I don't know you so why would I dislike you? You made comments like you know me so I corrected them.

I still think you are too young to really know how your life plan will work out. It may be great now, but you may realize you should have been doing something more while you were having a great time.

For some reason, you seem to think it is one or the other when, in reality, you can do both. Your opinion is always welcome but that doesn't mean I won't challenge it.

[speakeasy]

(10-22-2013 10:30 AM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

Personally, I think I think I just realized that if you can’t find happiness where you are, you won’t find it somewhere else.

I think there is truth to this, but only up to a point. Unhappiness can either come from internal sources or external sources. If your source of unhappiness is internal, then you are 100% correct. Whatever problems you have will follow you around no matter where you are. But if your unhappiness is caused by external problems, then it may be worth changing environments. Think about the guy in a small town with few opportunities, few women, leaving to an environment where conditions are the opposite may make all the difference in the world.

If you are unhappy and wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere, it may be best to do some soul-searching and figure out whether the source of your unhappiness is internal or external. Write down every reason you can think of for why you aren't content and then sort out the origin of the problems. If most of them come from an external source, then perhaps a change of location is necessary. As it happens, I'm going through this very process right now.

Quote:

When I was contracting, I was making over 500k a year.

Not to derail the discussion but what industry were you in where you can make that kind of cheddar? I'm just curious.

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-22-2013 04:09 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

I think there is truth to this, but only up to a point. Unhappiness can either come from internal sources or external sources. If your source of unhappiness is internal, then you are 100% correct. Whatever problems you have will follow you around no matter where you are. But if your unhappiness is caused by external problems, then it may be worth changing environments. Think about the guy in a small town with few opportunities, few women, leaving to an environment where conditions are the opposite may make all the difference in the world.

If you are unhappy and wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere, it may be best to do some soul-searching and figure out whether the source of your unhappiness is internal or external. Write down every reason you can think of for why you aren't content and then sort out the origin of the problems. If most of them come from an external source, then perhaps a change of location is necessary. As it happens, I'm going through this very process right now.

I used to think that way up until recently.

I don't believe it anymore. I understand wanting to move away for better opportunities or a better lifestyle. That doesn't mean you have to be unhappy in order to want something like that.

For me, right now, happiness is in my control no matter where I am at. I prefer having control over it. I have been living in a place I don't particularly like (family reasons) but I am still happy.

I still think there are different reasons why you may not be happy where you are. Maybe you are uncertain about your professional career, or have issues with health/weight, etc... I think we end up putting the blame on our environment a lot of times.

Especially when you consider how people live in 3rd world countries.

Quote:

Not to derail the discussion but what industry were you in where you can make that kind of cheddar? I'm just curious.

IT consulting/contracting work.

[DaveR]

It took me six years to find my place. You just have to spend a couple of months in each city until you find one which clicks.

On the other hand, if the women and the economy are the only things you identify as being wrong with your country, then it might be better to stay there. You have to be interested in other cultures to begin with.

[worldwidetraveler]

(10-22-2013 06:58 PM)DaveR Wrote:  

On the other hand, if the women and the economy are the only things you identify as being wrong with your country, then it might be better to stay there.

Let's not put words in my mouth, shall we. Every place has problems.

Quote:

You have to be interested in other cultures to begin with.

For settling down long term, I believe you really need to be able to love the culture or the little things will tear you apart.

[The Lizard of Oz]

Relevant passage from Emerson's Self-Reliance:

Quote:

“It is for want of self-culture that the superstition of Travelling, whose idols are Italy, England, Egypt, retains its fascination for all educated Americans. They who made England, Italy, or Greece venerable in the imagination did so by sticking fast where they were, like an axis of the earth. In manly hours, we feel that duty is our place. The soul is no traveller; the wise man stays at home, and when his necessities, his duties, on any occasion call him from his house, or into foreign lands, he is at home still, and shall make men sensible by the expression of his countenance, that he goes the missionary of wisdom and virtue, and visits cities and men like a sovereign, and not like an interloper or a valet.


I have no churlish objection to the circumnavigation of the globe, for the purposes of art, of study, and benevolence, so that the man is first domesticated, or does not go abroad with the hope of finding somewhat greater than he knows. He who travels to be amused, or to get somewhat which he does not carry, travels away from himself, and grows old even in youth among old things. In Thebes, in Palmyra, his will and mind have become old and dilapidated as they. He carries ruins to ruins.


Travelling is a fool’s paradise. Our first journeys discover to us the indifference of places. At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty, and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the stern fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from. I seek the Vatican, and the palaces. I affect to be intoxicated with sights and suggestions, but I am not intoxicated. My giant goes with me wherever I go. ”

[scandibro]

Where ever you travel, there you are. Isn't that a saying? I totally agree that you won't find happiness just by moving location. I disagree that it is that simple as saying if you can't be happy at home, then you can't be happy abroad. Some things are just easier, more fun abroad all else being equal, that may help you grow and develop. Personally, I think dividing your time between two places is the best. Learning from one, applying at the other, learning from that, bring that with you overseas.

The major issue in living abroad is language, culture and ethnicity.

[Soothesayer]

I grew up in New Orleans and used to bitch about the taxes there. Then I'd bitch about the rain (every day!), the traffic, the illegals, the crime, the corruption (Edwin Edwards wants to run again). Then I came to Canada and saw REAL taxes and really bad weather, shit that makes New Orleans look like Bora Bora. Granted, we had Katrina, but nothing like the squalls up here or the nutcases who think handguns are mini-nuke launchers. Grass was definitely not greener and try getting a decent Mexican enchilada up here. No such thing, at least in Ontario. No drive thru daquiri shops either or beer at wal-mart. A case of beer is what, thirty-five dollars last time I looked.

Montreal chicks though, well New Orleans has nothing to compare to them. But you wouldn't want to live there. And there's this strange sort of political apathy among Canucks that I still don't get. Maybe they're onto something. Maybe it really doesn't matter these days who you vote for.

[spalex]

Yeah I guess it depends where you are from.

I have been living overseas for 3 years now. Sometimes I think about how my life would be if I stayed in Australia.
The only thin I can say for sure is that I would be about $150,000 richer.

Though I am sick of living in Norway. I can't say I would be happier living back home. Maybe I would be happier if I moved to Germany, or Poland.

Anyway, surrounding yourself with good company is key to being happy in another place. If you are going to be surrounded by boring miserable cunts, the greatest city on earth with a high paying job is not going to make you happy.

[testos111]

The answer to all this is that there is no answer.

Everyone's life, circumstances and thought process is different. Life itself is perpetually varying. What works for one may not work for another. When there are so many differences and changes happening, how can there be a single solution?

You just have to have the courage to follow whatever your heart desires at that particular moment. What it will desire sometime later is none of your business.

[heavy]

Quote:

I have seen some guys not be able to return home because they gave up everything to move overseas and spent too much time teaching English or some other skill that won’t help them make money if they returned home.

Despite really wanting to go for the last 6-9 months, this is what concerns me.

Quote:

My happiness varies according to my location. I feel happier when I am travelling than when I am home, I bet many travelers on here feel the same way.

What I heard in that paragraph Pitt wrote was he likes to *travel*. That's not location, that's something he does with his life...which I can sympathize with.

[worldwidetraveler]

(03-21-2014 12:59 PM)heavy Wrote:  

What I heard in that paragraph Pitt wrote was he likes to *travel*. That's not location, that's something he does with his life...which I can sympathize with.

That just tells me your life at home needs to be changed.

I love travelling as well. It is exciting with everything being new. If you have nothing at home to get excited over than I can see why guys would think they are happier overseas.

At home, some guys are just another face in the crowd. They don't really have anything that makes them stand out. When you go overseas, you are automatically something different and more people are curious about you.

It's easier, in a way, to standout compared to your home country.

I think some guys on here would rather travel and use that as an excuse rather than tackle stuff like making money, becoming higher valued men in order to stand out, etc... It's easier to quote lifestyle and freedom when really they are running away from the tough work.

I guess my big take away is you can't runaway from your problems at home. If there is something at home that is making you unhappy, it will eventually follow you no matter where you go. At least, from my experience, it does.

Having a preference to live in a sunny climate compared to a cold one isn't what I am referring too. Either way, I will be happy even if I prefer one over the other.

[Cobra]

My situation is totally different.

Since starting to think more on a "red pill" level about 2 years ago, I have wanted to rewind time to my 20s and put myself into risks, both business and personal.

BUT, now I have a good size family I started which I would also be risking if I did that NOW.

Believe me, I still want to do it but the obstacles are greater to surpass.

I envy you cats that don't have this and can have the freedom fairly unconditionally.

Maybe think of yourself as me with a DeLorean dialed in to, say, 15 years ago .