[H1N1]

Hi guys, looking for some help.

I was hanging out with a pretty girl at my local pub last night, and there is also, it turns out, a really pretty 18 year old barmaid who works there (I'm 25). So I was sitting at the bar with the girl I came with, and brought the barmaid into the conversation a few times, as I kept catching her looking at me. Long story short, I got the barmaids number, and texted her to follow up and say we should hang out. She replied that she would really like to and wanted to hear more about the things we'd been talking about last night. We live in a rural area, so there aren't that many young people around, which is both a blessing and a curse I guess.

Anyway, I replied to her text where she said she'd really like to hang out by saying:

'Awesome. What nights don't you work at X, let's arrange something'.

She replied within the hour saying:

'Ah, that's the problem, I go back to uni on Monday and I'm not back until the end of May x'

What do you guys reckon I should reply? This chick lives really close to me, is very cute, actually has a really good sense of humour, and seems pretty uncorrupted so far (her FB photos suggest she isn't part of the 'cool' crowd).

I think she'd genuinely like to hang out, and it's pretty clear from her body language that she thinks I'm attractive. I have plans tonight and tomorrow. It's pretty clear she won't be a one night thing, and I'd quite like to set her up as an option for the summer months.

I'm thinking of just saying something along the lines of:

'That's so sad, I was looking forward to hanging out. You should drop me a text when you're back from uni'.

But I don't know whether to try to build some rapport with her over the next few weeks via text, which I can usually do pretty successfully, or whether I just leave it for now.

Advice much appreciated.

[realologist]

If your other plans are other dates you can book one right after another and cancel the second one if things are looking promising.

It sounds like you legitimately want to hang out with the barmaid though. Strike while the iron is hot or she will probably find some new dick at school.

Push the meet up to this weekend. Say something simple like

"Meet me at xyz place. I need to give you a proper sending off"

Or

"Meet me at xyz place so I don't have to chase you down in an airport and confess my undying love to you before you leave "

[The_Wonder]

Need some advice lads. I Matched with a girl on Tinder back in Feb, was building comfort and was going okay (this was before I was "game aware"). However, the conversation broke down and she unmatched me. Swiping through Tinder earlier today we have rematched. Was just wondering what to say as an opener?

[Virtus]

"Are you stalking me?"

[The_Wonder]

(04-19-2015 11:42 AM)Virtus Wrote:  

"Are you stalking me?"

Good one will use.

[coverdoc]

Thanks guys for tips. We texted further and she said she has a boyfriend now. Threw the lines "How long have you had that problem" and later "when are you guys getting married". She wants to meet for "Sushi" this week.

-CD

[Valhalla]

Girl I haven't talked to in months from okc
She's hitting me up to probably bang

"How's your endless search for beautiful women?"

Good reply?

[HenrySprinkler]

"Just ended...."

Then when she makes a joke assuming you're referring to her flip the script. Tell her you were talking about another girl, you just realized you're gay, you recently put in your application for monk-hood etc...

[robreke]

Gaming hot younger woman. I got her to agree to drive to my town as she lives a few hours away and I'm getting her a room at a hotel.

Heres our text exchange:
her. What are your expectations?
Me. Just wanted to connect over drinks and have fun getting to know each other.
Her. Glad we're on same page. Obviously sex is a natural part of relationship but I don't sleep with someone the first time I see them just so there's no disappointments.

I have a good idea how to respond but thought I'd run it by the forum.

two things. ... what to text AND is this most likely just plausible deniability?

[Sketness]

(04-23-2015 11:07 AM)robreke Wrote:  

Gaming hot younger woman. I got her to agree to drive to my town as she lives a few hours away and I'm getting her a room at a hotel.

Heres our text exchange:
her. What are your expectations?
Me. Just wanted to connect over drinks and have fun getting to know each other.
Her. Glad we're on same page. Obviously sex is a natural part of relationship but I don't sleep with someone the first time I see them just so there's no disappointments.

I have a good idea how to respond but thought I'd run it by the forum.

two things. ... what to text AND is this most likely just plausible deniability?

hit her with " im glad you said it... i dont sleep with people until the 25th date, see you around xpm"

[justin]

This girl went radio silent so as a last try I sent her this picture and this is what happened










In case you are wondering what my profile picture is

[redonion]

I collected this girls digits over the weekend and hit her up last night trying to set up some drinks. I've been in this spot before and it never works out. Anything I can do?

Me: Drinks later this week?
Her: This week is really bad for me because I have a ton of exams thurs and fri maybe next week?
Me: I can prob swing next week. good luck
Her: Thank you! can't wait till Friday haha


So, I think her excuse is legitimate. It's final exam time and I talked to her about her school when I met her. I've been in similar spots before and I usually wait until next week to try to set something up again. Problem is, a week goes by with no contact, the lead goes cold, and the girl loses interest. Is there any good ways to keep that interest afloat until I try again? Casual texting isn't really my thing...

[Bey]

Can someone think of a good (i.e. alpha) birthday text?

[Geekzor]

(04-29-2015 06:51 PM)Bey Wrote:  

Can someone think of a good (i.e. alpha) birthday text?

An alpha male wouldn't care if it's a girls' birthday, then again if you want to you can send her a "happy birthday" on the wrong day, for example ;

You:"Happy birthday"
Her:but it is not my birthday, my birthday was 2 days ago
You: Cool what did you bring me?

[Sketness]

(04-29-2015 11:18 PM)Geekzor Wrote:  

(04-29-2015 06:51 PM)Bey Wrote:  

Can someone think of a good (i.e. alpha) birthday text?

An alpha male wouldn't care if it's a girls' birthday, then again if you want to you can send her a "happy birthday" on the wrong day, for example ;

You:"Happy birthday"
Her:but it is not my birthday, my birthday was 2 days ago
You: Cool what did you bring me?

to piggy back off this id go with a whole week and a half later

[s3k]

Won't let me quote on my phone but concerning the b-day text I would say something like "happy bday (name, its important to say her name) i got ya bday present here, meet ya at 9pm my place. Just be sure to wear those sexy heels and do sone strecthing b4 hand." When she asks about the streching say, "you'll find out later" the notion is to hint to her that you will be giving her the best bday smash of her life. This is all assuming you got the bang of course.

[AneroidOcean]

Happy Birthday, wearing your birthday suit yet

[Fury]

So after doing some searching, I couldn't quite find the answer I was looking for so here goes:

I just matched with a girl on Tinder (here in the Netherlands) and followed the standard steps of transitioning to whatsapp yesterday. So far she has already texted me multiple times today: "good morning", "how is your day", etc.. Not only have I read before that over texting can be detrimental, I have experienced it first hand. I am hesitant to reply to her texts but we haven't had our first date yet, so this may scare her off.

What would you do in this situation? Ignore her texts until it is time to set up the first date?
or
Reply and tell her about my day (which I don't care to do)?

Side note: Isn't this a red flag? I don't see how some random girl cares about my day when we just met on tinder the day before. Seems clingy...

[AneroidOcean]

(05-11-2015 11:33 AM)Fury Wrote:  

So after doing some searching, I couldn't quite find the answer I was looking for so here goes:

I just matched with a girl on Tinder (here in the Netherlands) and followed the standard steps of transitioning to whatsapp yesterday. So far she has already texted me multiple times today: "good morning", "how is your day", etc.. Not only have I read before that over texting can be detrimental, I have experienced it first hand. I am hesitant to reply to her texts but we haven't had our first date yet, so this may scare her off.

What would you do in this situation? Ignore her texts until it is time to set up the first date?
or
Reply and tell her about my day (which I don't care to do)?

Side note: Isn't this a red flag? I don't see how some random girl cares about my day when we just met on tinder the day before. Seems clingy...

It's possible it could be a red flag, but unlikely as you haven't even set up a date yet. Why don't you post the conversation so we can comment accurately?

Not seeing the conversation, I'd say send some short statement statement question text and move on with your day. As soon as you can segueway to discussing getting together, do so.

[eradicator]

(05-11-2015 11:33 AM)Fury Wrote:  

So after doing some searching, I couldn't quite find the answer I was looking for so here goes:

I just matched with a girl on Tinder (here in the Netherlands) and followed the standard steps of transitioning to whatsapp yesterday. So far she has already texted me multiple times today: "good morning", "how is your day", etc.. Not only have I read before that over texting can be detrimental, I have experienced it first hand. I am hesitant to reply to her texts but we haven't had our first date yet, so this may scare her off.

What would you do in this situation? Ignore her texts until it is time to set up the first date?
or
Reply and tell her about my day (which I don't care to do)?

Side note: Isn't this a red flag? I don't see how some random girl cares about my day when we just met on tinder the day before. Seems clingy...

go for logistics, "It's Good. Meet me at xyz bar At 8pm wednesday" etc.

[Fury]

(05-11-2015 12:43 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(05-11-2015 11:33 AM)Fury Wrote:  

So after doing some searching, I couldn't quite find the answer I was looking for so here goes:

I just matched with a girl on Tinder (here in the Netherlands) and followed the standard steps of transitioning to whatsapp yesterday. So far she has already texted me multiple times today: "good morning", "how is your day", etc.. Not only have I read before that over texting can be detrimental, I have experienced it first hand. I am hesitant to reply to her texts but we haven't had our first date yet, so this may scare her off.

What would you do in this situation? Ignore her texts until it is time to set up the first date?
or
Reply and tell her about my day (which I don't care to do)?

Side note: Isn't this a red flag? I don't see how some random girl cares about my day when we just met on tinder the day before. Seems clingy...

It's possible it could be a red flag, but unlikely as you haven't even set up a date yet. Why don't you post the conversation so we can comment accurately?

Not seeing the conversation, I'd say send some short statement statement question text and move on with your day. As soon as you can segueway to discussing getting together, do so.

The conversation is quite long so I won't be able to post it for brevity reasons but you and eradicator both provided me with a solution that incorporated both avenues I had mentioned. Use my response as a way to segue into meeting up soon.

This is something I sometimes struggle with, I get too caught up in the texting back and forth and it gets so convoluted. I need to be more direct... I will take this advice and use it for future interactions. Thanks for the heads up.

[Libertas]

Began my exchange with the bikini model I mentioned in the approach thread.

Me: yo whats up
Her: who is this

This isn't as bad as it sounds since my phone's been bugging the hell out lately and I should be getting a new one in a few weeks.

Me: it's libertas, did my # still not get through yesterday?
Her: Nope
Me: ah. tell me about how fun your test was

Trying to get the humor going and moving back on track. But if things sputter out from here, how should I proceed. Cool off time and re-initiate when future plans fall through?

I'm starting to truly believe in the talk about the pussy gods now. This could have started off a lot better.

[AnonymousBosch]

(05-11-2015 03:46 PM)Libertas Wrote:  

Began my exchange with the bikini model I mentioned in the approach thread.

Me: yo whats up
Her: who is this

This isn't as bad as it sounds since my phone's been bugging the hell out lately and I should be getting a new one in a few weeks.

Me: it's libertas, did my # still not get through yesterday?
Her: Nope
Me: ah. tell me about how fun your test was

Trying to get the humor going and moving back on track. But if things sputter out from here, how should I proceed. Cool off time and re-initiate when future plans fall through?

I'm starting to truly believe in the talk about the pussy gods now. This could have started off a lot better.

I'd have suggested teasing first before the reveal.

Me: yo whats up
Her: who is this
Me: not your boyfriend

Me: yo whats up
Her: who is this
Me: a fun escape from boring law books

Me: yo whats up
Her: who is this
Me: channing tatum

You get the idea.

Quote:

Me: it's libertas, did my # still not get through yesterday?
Her: Nope
Me: ah. tell me about how fun your test was

The first question is forcing her to Girl Lie to you - if they were honest about things like this they wouldn't be girls.

The problem is, this is handing her the power. She's used to being the Gatekeeper to further contact. You know she hasn't texted. She knows she hasn't texted. Don't comment on it at all, because, otherwise, she'll Girl Lie to you, and, mentally, then equate you with the other subpar guys she's forced to Girl Lie to.

As such, her 'nope' is brutal. You said "Lie to me" and she did. The Pussy Gods are bastards.

You want her to not think you were sitting by the phone, waiting for her to call - particularly noting she hadn't. I'd just dive back into it like the conversation never ended. Assume that of course she'd want to keep talking with you and go from there.

"was just [doing something / was somewhere] and [saw / heard / read] [something that reminded you or was related to what you discussed]." Get her talking in a way that she can't respond with simple yes / no answers. Work back round to escalation.

Good luck, man.

[Libertas]

It legitimately is a bit difficult to tell in this case because my phone really has been buggy as hell and there legitimately was a problem getting my number through to her, plus this never happened before. Nevertheless, I suppose I can try that in a day or two. I thought of just dropping the event first but that would essentially be rewarding bad behavior.

Now - this may be venting - but honestly this shit is starting to piss me the fuck off. Getting attraction and intrigue and escalating it is so easy in person, but I've found, over many months, is that as soon as you make a single solitary mistake on text, it's basically over. It's difficult to build attraction over text, and extremely easy to lose it. And it's so easy to make a mistake on text because there are absolutely no cues. It's not even like instant messaging where it's easy for me to dominate. I feel like I'm slowly, ever so slowly, starting to put in place a text system that works, piece by slow piece, but it's still annoying the hell out of me.

It is absolutely no coincidence that the only two women I know that I would consider LTR material do not engage in these bullshit text games.

[eradicator]

"who is this" is not a death sentence. i usually just say "kanye west" or "brad pitt" or whatnot, but at that point, just try calling, trying to get them to agree to meet up over the phone can be easier if they are texting you 'who is this".