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Gaming the Group
10-18-2010, 03:38 PM
I think it's good to address and kind of game the group at the beginning, until you are able to isolate your girl or until it is clear that she is into you, and like you're saying this can be easier with a 3-set than a two, because the other two girls can talk amongst themselves while you engage their friend. A lot of times I think it depends on the temperment and how cool her friends are, a lot of times there is the bitch friend who is the "mother hen" of the group and loves to cock block either cause she doesn't like you or does like you and is jealous of her friend. Other times, you might get lucky and the girl's friend might actually be really chill, and thinks your cool, and will be down to help facilitate things with her friend, and give her your approval. It's funny how much girls look to their friends for approval, which plays into the group gaming dynamic, even if a girl is feeling you, if all her friends in her group aren't, she'll most likely act unresponisive and uninterested.
Mixx, came with the best advice, so I have nothing really else to add, but his advice about gaming girls out with gay friends was gold, this esp. is true if you live in a liberal city with a big gay population (i.e. Miami, San Fran, NYC, etc.) To address your specific questions and thinking, telling stories is a great way to engage the group, demonstrate value, connect, show them you are interesting, etc. This is often at the core of what PUA's seem to teach, when dealing with opening sets, hooking, etc. during the early stages of gaming.
I would agree that at a typical bar/club scene a lot of the girls are either too stupid or the vibe/atmosphere is too chaotic and not conducive to really getting deep into an interesting story about traveling abroad, a deep cultural, artistic, or life changing experience, etc. Tales of travels and the like, are better saved for when you are deeper into the connecting stage of game, once you have isolated, and are 30 + mins. of conversation, also when telling stories like this to the group, I think the vibe of the venue is key, it will go over better at a party, chill lounge, art show, more than at a loud dance club.
When gaming the group, I like to use observational/situational openers and transition to conversation based on these things going on in the moment, and keep the vibe fun and playful. Humor goes a long way, and if you can get the group laughing, and thinking your funny right off the bat, not that you should be the dancing monkey or court jester, but getting the group laughing about something funny going on in the moment can be gold. Recently when I've gone out in the field, I try to get a nice buzz going and kind of go freestyle and be spontaneous, and not get too caught up in thinking mechanically with PUA routines, analysis, tactics, etc. (DHV, Neg, story tell, tease, push-pull), so a lot of times I got to think back about how I opened or what I said. One thing that I have done and some PUAs like to do to engage the group is ask the group their opinion on something that can spawn a conversation that you're all involved in.