Wilderness: "An uncultivated, uninhabited, and inhospitable region." AKA: Nature.
When I step into the wilderness, things begin to change. My hierarchy of needs shifts and my perception of reality transforms.
iPhones become as valuable as the rocks at my feet. Google, like the numbers in my bank account, becomes an abstract concept, with no weight or bearing on my presence. I have a knife in my pocket. Food is not fast. My survival depends on absolutely one thing: myself. The fear of bear is so strong that a twig breaking in the night will make my heart beat faster than any human interaction I've ever had. I am detached from society, completely vulnerable, for once in my life liberated.
When I have camped in a tent and not showered for days, my own stench overpowering, things begin to change. Tea in the morning tastes better. Sleep at night is deeper and my dreams lucid. My body is my focus and my energy comes from within my mind; my instinct of self-preservation above all else. Birds fly overhead and fish swim against the river. Life is pure here.
When I climb a mountain, under the power of my beating heart and my own two feet, things become simplified. The journey is the reward and the reward is every single step I make. I gasp for breath at the high altitude and wonder if I have what it takes to keep moving. A mistake here is not an angry phone call or a reduction in salary, it is the end of my life. "You fall, you die."
At the summit I think about Man, and which among us have stood where I now stand. I think about why a Man would risk his life to see this view when he could have just looked it up on the internet. I think about Nature. About the rocks and the trees far below and the impossible balance of how it hangs together. This mountain is more significant and more beautiful than any human creation yet it stands unnoticed.
It is here, in the wilderness, where game goes away. The pursuit of women does not enter my thoughts nor have any position on my list of priorities. Sex is reduced to a biological need to reproduce at some vague point in the future. It does not drive me; it does not influence my actions. It is wholly irrelevant. Out of sight, out of mind. Could it be so simple?
I have this feeling of ultimate freedom in a place of great hostility. My mind attempts to resolve this notion; of how game is something that, in the city, feels so absolute. It is the one thing I can turn to for answers. Yet the freedom I search for within it always seems just that little bit out of reach, so I try and try again. I search for truth in the game but only do I find it in the wilderness.
But freedom, by its own virtue, is volatile and temporary. The summit I stand on and the feeling it gives me will be reduced to a distant memory in short time. The new girl I had sex with last week has already suffered the same fate. Yet I will continue to pursue more women and more mountains. How do I resolve this contradiction? The questions jump around in my head. Is Man doomed to chase this fleeting feeling that is perpetually whisked away? Are we truly such banal and uninteresting beings? Doesn’t anyone want more than this?
In the distance I see clouds rolling in. My skin begins to tingle as the temperature drops. I can taste the air. It is going to rain, and there is going to be lightning. I could die up here. I race down, pack my tent and begin the long journey back to my apartment in the city, to continue seeking solutions to questions I have already answered. My goal is to return home, though I know I am already there.
When I step into the wilderness, things begin to change. My hierarchy of needs shifts and my perception of reality transforms.
iPhones become as valuable as the rocks at my feet. Google, like the numbers in my bank account, becomes an abstract concept, with no weight or bearing on my presence. I have a knife in my pocket. Food is not fast. My survival depends on absolutely one thing: myself. The fear of bear is so strong that a twig breaking in the night will make my heart beat faster than any human interaction I've ever had. I am detached from society, completely vulnerable, for once in my life liberated.
When I have camped in a tent and not showered for days, my own stench overpowering, things begin to change. Tea in the morning tastes better. Sleep at night is deeper and my dreams lucid. My body is my focus and my energy comes from within my mind; my instinct of self-preservation above all else. Birds fly overhead and fish swim against the river. Life is pure here.
When I climb a mountain, under the power of my beating heart and my own two feet, things become simplified. The journey is the reward and the reward is every single step I make. I gasp for breath at the high altitude and wonder if I have what it takes to keep moving. A mistake here is not an angry phone call or a reduction in salary, it is the end of my life. "You fall, you die."
At the summit I think about Man, and which among us have stood where I now stand. I think about why a Man would risk his life to see this view when he could have just looked it up on the internet. I think about Nature. About the rocks and the trees far below and the impossible balance of how it hangs together. This mountain is more significant and more beautiful than any human creation yet it stands unnoticed.
It is here, in the wilderness, where game goes away. The pursuit of women does not enter my thoughts nor have any position on my list of priorities. Sex is reduced to a biological need to reproduce at some vague point in the future. It does not drive me; it does not influence my actions. It is wholly irrelevant. Out of sight, out of mind. Could it be so simple?
I have this feeling of ultimate freedom in a place of great hostility. My mind attempts to resolve this notion; of how game is something that, in the city, feels so absolute. It is the one thing I can turn to for answers. Yet the freedom I search for within it always seems just that little bit out of reach, so I try and try again. I search for truth in the game but only do I find it in the wilderness.
But freedom, by its own virtue, is volatile and temporary. The summit I stand on and the feeling it gives me will be reduced to a distant memory in short time. The new girl I had sex with last week has already suffered the same fate. Yet I will continue to pursue more women and more mountains. How do I resolve this contradiction? The questions jump around in my head. Is Man doomed to chase this fleeting feeling that is perpetually whisked away? Are we truly such banal and uninteresting beings? Doesn’t anyone want more than this?
In the distance I see clouds rolling in. My skin begins to tingle as the temperature drops. I can taste the air. It is going to rain, and there is going to be lightning. I could die up here. I race down, pack my tent and begin the long journey back to my apartment in the city, to continue seeking solutions to questions I have already answered. My goal is to return home, though I know I am already there.
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