In my quest to complete Roosh's 100 approach program, I thought I would talk about the biggest distraction I have had so far, online dating. As of now, its Tinder. The aggravation and frustration that online dating often gets me to a point of just saying fuck it all, I am taking a break from women. I just had that this week where I deleted Tinder off my phone. I realized that it was 'stunting my approach growth.'
I started day gaming in June this year, and have only done about 50 approaches in 2.5 months, terrible for where I live, NYC.. I should be doing about 30 a week, or more. But here I get wrapped up in Tinder, waste all of my precious time using it, and not having what I call 'success.' To me success is creating a continuing uncommitted sexual relationship, with someone that treats you extremely well. What I found was that online dating was sucking all of my time up and keeping me from having real connections with women, and from meeting good women. In my experience with online dating over the last three years, with intermittent breaks and GF's along the way, I have discovered a few things I want to share here;
Lower quality women
Online dating for me yields lower quality women. What is a lower quality woman? To me its a woman that doesn't get hit on a lot, on the street, at work, etc. She doesn't get much attention from men. She might be attractive, but usually not the case, not more then a 7 tops. She is probably well educated, has a good job, is boring as shit and uninteresting. She is your typical American women who watches Bravo and Law & Order every night. Surprisingly, this is her entire world view. She probably loves sex, but other than a straight bang there is little else that you can say 'damn' about this girl.
Women who are looking for the one
Online dating helps relatively common women fulfill their dreams of marriage and babies. Depending on where you live, this range of women looking for this is 25-35. But they all want to be in the stupid Match.com commercial. To me, the idea that 'people just use this for sex' is an urban legend. I am a fairly attractive guy. I push for first date sex all the time. 95% of the time with online dating I get shot down. They all want the romantic story, wait 5 dates bullshit. They all want to tell their friends they are dating this amazing guy. They all want to be wives. They all want it with minimal effort.
Early Shit Tests
My theory is that with online dating, women already think you are a little weird before the first date. And they might not think that highly of you, even when they meet you. Subconsciously they probably think you are a pussy, for using online dating. So instead of just relaxing and having fun with a cool guy, they sit across from you and wonder if you are a serial killer. They are formal. They are not impressed with you, you actually havent been able to impress them yet. Then what I have noticed is about half of them shit test. This can be with crass words, inane ridiculous stories, talking shit about you, saying stupid shitty things. Or they are late. Or they just like to act like a bitch. When they do this I try to get them to pay for the evening.
Pictures lie
Self explanatory, but bearing any beta tendencies, I can fall in love with a girls pictures and fantasize about how awesome she is and how she will be perfect. But this is all bullshit. most of the time pictures lie, and they look weird. Have some weird face, crooked teeth, stained teeth, trollish features, on and on. Then its apparent why they probably dont get hit on much. I am sick of planning my evening to meet up with a troll. Usually if this happens I suck down the drink and leave, and try to get her to pay. Tinder doesn't allow you to see the body so I often ask them to send me a pic beforehand so I can confirm I am not seen meeting a fatty.
Dates
Online dating often creates unrealistic expectations of going on dates. Dates meaning some formal bullshit that includes eating and some dumb event like walking in a park, etc. A movie would actually be ideal because you could watch a new movie you want to see and you dont have to talk to her, and maybe even get an old fashioned. When you watch these awful Match.com commercials its always a couple in an Applebees somewhere. No thank you. We probably eat differently and I am not interested in dropping $100 on chicken strips.
Makes you Unsocial
Online dating makes you a less social person. Point and click, point and click, point and click. Meet, talk for two hours. Point and click, point and click, meet for two hours. Do again, do again, do again. The time it takes on dating sites could be better spend; going to the gym, making more money, having sex, day gaming, etc etc. Why dont you go out on the street and get to know your neighbors?
**I used to work with one of the largest dating sites. Do you know what their number one metric is?? Its guys, on the site, for hours and hours late at night, all night. WAY more than women. Men, of all ages and backgrounds, spending hours and hours on the site, looking at pictures and probably beating off. Their "Time on Site" metric was through the roof, for men.. at night...
Flakes
Girls flake all the time with online dating. They are late. They postpone or change the time. They dont counter offer with new times to meet, they wait for you to ask. They are crazy. They are Bravo fans. They are boring good girls. Etc etc. I have always had more flakes with online dating, and many many more than day/night gaming.
Time Suck
I am in business. My time is very valuable. When I waste it, I waste my life, and more importantly, I lose money. Constantly checking statuses, looking at profiles, messaging, meeting with trolls, fuming after meeting with said trolls saying fuck this shit, and on and on.. Its all a giant waste of time. And I am not looking for a wife. And the search for companionship is much easier than this.
So this all comes back to how this could be improved. Day gaming and some night gaming results in more lays, easier lays, and surprisingly better women than online has ever produced for me. I dont know if they are better people, maybe they treat me differently because of how we first met? Women respect you immediately for having the balls to talk to them first in person. Second, they think you are cool, and its more fun to hang out with a hot girl you know is hot, that thinks you are cool, then a pants wearing tired corporate Bravo watcher looking for her next husband over waffle fries. I have experienced far fewer flakes, shit tests, and let downs. Its like when you set up the pins properly from the very start, they all fall down.
I started day gaming in June this year, and have only done about 50 approaches in 2.5 months, terrible for where I live, NYC.. I should be doing about 30 a week, or more. But here I get wrapped up in Tinder, waste all of my precious time using it, and not having what I call 'success.' To me success is creating a continuing uncommitted sexual relationship, with someone that treats you extremely well. What I found was that online dating was sucking all of my time up and keeping me from having real connections with women, and from meeting good women. In my experience with online dating over the last three years, with intermittent breaks and GF's along the way, I have discovered a few things I want to share here;
Lower quality women
Online dating for me yields lower quality women. What is a lower quality woman? To me its a woman that doesn't get hit on a lot, on the street, at work, etc. She doesn't get much attention from men. She might be attractive, but usually not the case, not more then a 7 tops. She is probably well educated, has a good job, is boring as shit and uninteresting. She is your typical American women who watches Bravo and Law & Order every night. Surprisingly, this is her entire world view. She probably loves sex, but other than a straight bang there is little else that you can say 'damn' about this girl.
Women who are looking for the one
Online dating helps relatively common women fulfill their dreams of marriage and babies. Depending on where you live, this range of women looking for this is 25-35. But they all want to be in the stupid Match.com commercial. To me, the idea that 'people just use this for sex' is an urban legend. I am a fairly attractive guy. I push for first date sex all the time. 95% of the time with online dating I get shot down. They all want the romantic story, wait 5 dates bullshit. They all want to tell their friends they are dating this amazing guy. They all want to be wives. They all want it with minimal effort.
Early Shit Tests
My theory is that with online dating, women already think you are a little weird before the first date. And they might not think that highly of you, even when they meet you. Subconsciously they probably think you are a pussy, for using online dating. So instead of just relaxing and having fun with a cool guy, they sit across from you and wonder if you are a serial killer. They are formal. They are not impressed with you, you actually havent been able to impress them yet. Then what I have noticed is about half of them shit test. This can be with crass words, inane ridiculous stories, talking shit about you, saying stupid shitty things. Or they are late. Or they just like to act like a bitch. When they do this I try to get them to pay for the evening.
Pictures lie
Self explanatory, but bearing any beta tendencies, I can fall in love with a girls pictures and fantasize about how awesome she is and how she will be perfect. But this is all bullshit. most of the time pictures lie, and they look weird. Have some weird face, crooked teeth, stained teeth, trollish features, on and on. Then its apparent why they probably dont get hit on much. I am sick of planning my evening to meet up with a troll. Usually if this happens I suck down the drink and leave, and try to get her to pay. Tinder doesn't allow you to see the body so I often ask them to send me a pic beforehand so I can confirm I am not seen meeting a fatty.
Dates
Online dating often creates unrealistic expectations of going on dates. Dates meaning some formal bullshit that includes eating and some dumb event like walking in a park, etc. A movie would actually be ideal because you could watch a new movie you want to see and you dont have to talk to her, and maybe even get an old fashioned. When you watch these awful Match.com commercials its always a couple in an Applebees somewhere. No thank you. We probably eat differently and I am not interested in dropping $100 on chicken strips.
Makes you Unsocial
Online dating makes you a less social person. Point and click, point and click, point and click. Meet, talk for two hours. Point and click, point and click, meet for two hours. Do again, do again, do again. The time it takes on dating sites could be better spend; going to the gym, making more money, having sex, day gaming, etc etc. Why dont you go out on the street and get to know your neighbors?
**I used to work with one of the largest dating sites. Do you know what their number one metric is?? Its guys, on the site, for hours and hours late at night, all night. WAY more than women. Men, of all ages and backgrounds, spending hours and hours on the site, looking at pictures and probably beating off. Their "Time on Site" metric was through the roof, for men.. at night...
Flakes
Girls flake all the time with online dating. They are late. They postpone or change the time. They dont counter offer with new times to meet, they wait for you to ask. They are crazy. They are Bravo fans. They are boring good girls. Etc etc. I have always had more flakes with online dating, and many many more than day/night gaming.
Time Suck
I am in business. My time is very valuable. When I waste it, I waste my life, and more importantly, I lose money. Constantly checking statuses, looking at profiles, messaging, meeting with trolls, fuming after meeting with said trolls saying fuck this shit, and on and on.. Its all a giant waste of time. And I am not looking for a wife. And the search for companionship is much easier than this.
So this all comes back to how this could be improved. Day gaming and some night gaming results in more lays, easier lays, and surprisingly better women than online has ever produced for me. I dont know if they are better people, maybe they treat me differently because of how we first met? Women respect you immediately for having the balls to talk to them first in person. Second, they think you are cool, and its more fun to hang out with a hot girl you know is hot, that thinks you are cool, then a pants wearing tired corporate Bravo watcher looking for her next husband over waffle fries. I have experienced far fewer flakes, shit tests, and let downs. Its like when you set up the pins properly from the very start, they all fall down.
