I am almost embarrassed to ask for help and it may sound like I’m a whiny little bitch; but please bear with me.
I led a life of beta servitude; got married when I was 28 (mostly driven by cultural brainwashing). Hadn't been with many girls at that point.
I would say I'm average to above average in looks (Indian guy - not saying it matters and please, I'm not trolling).
Started reading and posting here in 2011. Learn and read lots of red pill stuff every day.
Took the red pill without absorbing it (it’s possible) and thought I swallowed it back in 2011 but morality caught up with me as I was 'trying' to sleep with women around the world on a trip.
I stayed off the website for about 2 years trying to reform my beta life; it didn’t work. My subconscious caught up to me and said wtf.
Challenges:
Surrounded by Beta’s and Beta attitudes at work, in the family etc. etc.
Limited by: time (cycle is : go to work, come back, take care of kids, go back to work), cultural BS. Bojangles posted a great ROK article that I have been absorbing.
Motivators:
Not letting my son be a beta but can’t teach him something I have not practiced or don’t know much about rather than theory.
Want to improve my own lifestyle.
Actions taken:
Started eating better (no soda, limit sugar, no fried food)
Put my foot down and told my wife and solidified such things as:
•I’m not changing who I am
•I’m not explaining my actions
•I don’t care about what anyone (including her) thinks
•I apologize for nothing I do
•Told her I want her to quit her job and stay home with the kids (I was fearful of doing so before)
•I don’t have love any more except for my kids
I got the initial push-back and I even think I hurt her feelings; but I stood my ground (frame?) so she has gotten more submissive and feminine in her actions since; even making me lunch and getting food together more often than before. I consider this somewhat of a win. We have gone a lot longer without a fight than ever before which is refreshing.
Joined a gym (need to start going; lack of sleep/only 5-6 hours a night is a downer)
Request:
What eats me up the most is that my son will be disadvantaged if I don’t take more action and make more effort. That may be the motivator that is pushing me over the line. I want to make the effort but am fearful and morally distraught at times like I was on that trip in 2011.
And there’s always that negative voice telling me that I’m 35 years old; why start now and make the effort! I don’t want to go to the grave like this. I want to surround myself with other red pill takers, feel better, be more active etc. I’m taking the every piece of advice I can get using a search function, and am actively making an effort; but also would like to meet a few people from here and observe. Would anyone be game?
I led a life of beta servitude; got married when I was 28 (mostly driven by cultural brainwashing). Hadn't been with many girls at that point.
I would say I'm average to above average in looks (Indian guy - not saying it matters and please, I'm not trolling).
Started reading and posting here in 2011. Learn and read lots of red pill stuff every day.
Took the red pill without absorbing it (it’s possible) and thought I swallowed it back in 2011 but morality caught up with me as I was 'trying' to sleep with women around the world on a trip.
I stayed off the website for about 2 years trying to reform my beta life; it didn’t work. My subconscious caught up to me and said wtf.
Challenges:
Surrounded by Beta’s and Beta attitudes at work, in the family etc. etc.
Limited by: time (cycle is : go to work, come back, take care of kids, go back to work), cultural BS. Bojangles posted a great ROK article that I have been absorbing.
Motivators:
Not letting my son be a beta but can’t teach him something I have not practiced or don’t know much about rather than theory.
Want to improve my own lifestyle.
Actions taken:
Started eating better (no soda, limit sugar, no fried food)
Put my foot down and told my wife and solidified such things as:
•I’m not changing who I am
•I’m not explaining my actions
•I don’t care about what anyone (including her) thinks
•I apologize for nothing I do
•Told her I want her to quit her job and stay home with the kids (I was fearful of doing so before)
•I don’t have love any more except for my kids
I got the initial push-back and I even think I hurt her feelings; but I stood my ground (frame?) so she has gotten more submissive and feminine in her actions since; even making me lunch and getting food together more often than before. I consider this somewhat of a win. We have gone a lot longer without a fight than ever before which is refreshing.
Joined a gym (need to start going; lack of sleep/only 5-6 hours a night is a downer)
Request:
What eats me up the most is that my son will be disadvantaged if I don’t take more action and make more effort. That may be the motivator that is pushing me over the line. I want to make the effort but am fearful and morally distraught at times like I was on that trip in 2011.
And there’s always that negative voice telling me that I’m 35 years old; why start now and make the effort! I don’t want to go to the grave like this. I want to surround myself with other red pill takers, feel better, be more active etc. I’m taking the every piece of advice I can get using a search function, and am actively making an effort; but also would like to meet a few people from here and observe. Would anyone be game?