[Cobra]

I am almost embarrassed to ask for help and it may sound like I’m a whiny little bitch; but please bear with me.

I led a life of beta servitude; got married when I was 28 (mostly driven by cultural brainwashing). Hadn't been with many girls at that point.

I would say I'm average to above average in looks (Indian guy - not saying it matters and please, I'm not trolling).

Started reading and posting here in 2011. Learn and read lots of red pill stuff every day.

Took the red pill without absorbing it (it’s possible) and thought I swallowed it back in 2011 but morality caught up with me as I was 'trying' to sleep with women around the world on a trip.

I stayed off the website for about 2 years trying to reform my beta life; it didn’t work. My subconscious caught up to me and said wtf.

Challenges:
Surrounded by Beta’s and Beta attitudes at work, in the family etc. etc.

Limited by: time (cycle is : go to work, come back, take care of kids, go back to work), cultural BS. Bojangles posted a great ROK article that I have been absorbing.

Motivators:
Not letting my son be a beta but can’t teach him something I have not practiced or don’t know much about rather than theory.
Want to improve my own lifestyle.

Actions taken:
Started eating better (no soda, limit sugar, no fried food)

Put my foot down and told my wife and solidified such things as:
•I’m not changing who I am
•I’m not explaining my actions
•I don’t care about what anyone (including her) thinks
•I apologize for nothing I do
•Told her I want her to quit her job and stay home with the kids (I was fearful of doing so before)
•I don’t have love any more except for my kids

I got the initial push-back and I even think I hurt her feelings; but I stood my ground (frame?) so she has gotten more submissive and feminine in her actions since; even making me lunch and getting food together more often than before. I consider this somewhat of a win. We have gone a lot longer without a fight than ever before which is refreshing.

Joined a gym (need to start going; lack of sleep/only 5-6 hours a night is a downer)

Request:
What eats me up the most is that my son will be disadvantaged if I don’t take more action and make more effort. That may be the motivator that is pushing me over the line. I want to make the effort but am fearful and morally distraught at times like I was on that trip in 2011.

And there’s always that negative voice telling me that I’m 35 years old; why start now and make the effort! I don’t want to go to the grave like this. I want to surround myself with other red pill takers, feel better, be more active etc. I’m taking the every piece of advice I can get using a search function, and am actively making an effort; but also would like to meet a few people from here and observe. Would anyone be game?

[godofwar]

It sounds like you are scared to really even try to take the red pill, when you say you need to be surrounded by other red pill people. Like you would never dare stand out, to be different, to feel social pressure against you.

Think about that, and think about what the red pill is to you.

I would suggest one place to start. Eating is good, but exercise is better. None of this easy circuit training at your local gym, or casual jogs. I mean prepare to go to war type of training, even if just 20 mins, 3 times a week. Find the warrior inside yourself and transform your body.

When your body changes, your mind will too. I guarantee that. Your son will see that you are a man, he will feel your strength. Strength and power is what the red pill is all about. There are tons of ways to get it: socially, physically, mentally.

Physical is the easiest way to go first, because it's just a matter of following directions and doing the work. the other stuff will follow. learn how to lift like an athlete (all the olympic lifts, etc...)

Don't ever underestimate the power of a good workout on changing your attitude, your mind and your body.

[Parlay44]

Make a list of short term and long term goals you'd like to achieve.
Break each goal into milestones.

You should never be pressured into marriage. If you went into it openly then fine. But all these
issues should have be discussed way before marriage.

Just keep reading and start associating with the type of people you admire. Eventually it will
kick in and feel natural.

[Cobra]

(06-24-2013 07:53 PM)godofwar Wrote:  

It sounds like you are scared to really even try to take the red pill, when you say you need to be surrounded by other red pill people. Like you would never dare stand out, to be different, to feel social pressure against you.

Think about that, and think about what the red pill is to you.

I would suggest one place to start. Eating is good, but exercise is better. None of this easy circuit training at your local gym, or casual jogs. I mean prepare to go to war type of training, even if just 20 mins, 3 times a week. Find the warrior inside yourself and transform your body.

When your body changes, your mind will too. I guarantee that. Your son will see that you are a man, he will feel your strength. Strength and power is what the red pill is all about. There are tons of ways to get it: socially, physically, mentally.

Physical is the easiest way to go first, because it's just a matter of following directions and doing the work. the other stuff will follow. learn how to lift like an athlete (all the olympic lifts, etc...)

Don't ever underestimate the power of a good workout on changing your attitude, your mind and your body.

Thanks. I read your post last night. Pushed myself out of bed, albeit late after contemplating, and headed to the gym. Checked out machines and freeweights to get a feel. Did some deadlifts to see my form and sprinted a little bit. I didn't want to overdo but it felt good. I'll be getting a plan together for future workouts. I'll also most likely go everyday to get the habit going. No backstepping at this point. I'll keep reporting.

[Cobra]

(06-24-2013 09:20 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

You should never be pressured into marriage. If you went into it openly then fine. But all these
issues should have be discussed way before marriage.

I couldn't agree with you more; but, for a lot of guys like me it's too little too late. I thought I went into it openly but without knowledge of game, my awareness was not maximized. As a result, my decision was based on pre-conceived notions (mostly cultural) rather than genuine openness. I even had good friends, went out and also approached a lot of girls; so had a decent social life; but in the end, the cultural atmosphere took over and here I am about 7 years later. This being said, I'm glad I took the journey I did, because in a way I'm a better man for it and will be able to impart better guidance to others, especially my son.

[JayD]

It seems like you have lost your resolve and have committed to this marriage that you are now in. I think you need to take a trip for isolation, where it's only you.
Figure out what you truly want to do in life, instead of the daily grind(work,kids). Find your purpose and instil it.

Keep going to the gym, your mind and body are one. By strengthening your body your mind becomes stronger. Sounds cliché but it is absolutely true.

Every morning when you wake up, meditate for 5 minutes and focus on your purpose to remind yourself you are building to a better life.
Read this post: http://dangerandplay.com/2012/07/23/the-...r-of-life/

[iknowexactly]

Your account is quite vague. "Taking the red pill' says nothing specific about what you want, but are not getting.

Face what you really want, figure out the price of getting it, choose your battles, and ATTACK.

[mental]

Don't let age stop you. Tenderman100 is 60 or older. Berlusconi is 76. They are still getting laid. If your dick works then it's never too late for red pill.

[Cobra]

(06-25-2013 09:38 PM)JayD Wrote:  

Keep going to the gym, your mind and body are one. By strengthening your body your mind becomes stronger. Sounds cliché but it is absolutely true.

For the last 3 days, I've now woken up every day at 4:30 am and worked out. There's something invigorating about it. Even without much social outlets and a nagging wife at home, I still feel good. Shit like that bothers me very little especially compared to when I used to physically felt like shit. Must be those endorphins everyone talks about.

[Cobra]

(06-25-2013 11:47 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Face what you really want, figure out the price of getting it, choose your battles, and ATTACK.

It's really difficult for me to admit except on here and to a few close friends. I'll break it down into three things: concern, fear and moral dilemma. Concern is that my son may grow up beta. This is indirectly related to my fear of approaching women (especially 7+); I especially would like to teach him how at some point. The marriage also puts me in a moral dilemma (e.g. if I approach and eventually fuck lots of women, it's wrong since I'm married). The deepest and most honest of my desires say, I don't give a shit and I do want to use game to get young women into bed; because that will make me happy and may even help the marriage. I know a lot of guys do it, but for me it's just a tough fight to win mentally.

[augen sehen]

You don't have to cheat on your wife to make the marriage better.

I recently got out of an LTR and the parts that the red pill helped the most were:

1. Working out and getting a good muscular body.
2. Being more confident when dealing with people around me.
3. Being a little more aggressive more often in bed.

That's it. The rest of the stuff, the aloof behavior, flirting with and eventually fucking other girls etc actually hurt me. What I thought she saw as preselection she actually saw as me being handsy with other girls and disrespectful to her and the relationship.

[Cobra]

So I've been hitting the weights about 2 weeks in a row. I wake up at 4:30 and do an hour before going to work.

Interesting thing happened; my cousin (very close) came over this weekend and mentioned his wedding in London, week after next. I wasn't going to go before.

My wife actually said it's a good idea to go. I've been aloof with her recently;she thought it would be good for our relation ship for me to get away.

So I baked in 2 extra days which I don't know what to do with yet. It's my chance to get away for a bit; I'm not going just for the wedding and coming back.

When she heard about the extra days she freaked a little and asked why; then supplicated to saying that I should do that since it's such short notice.

Problem is I don't know what to do or where to go for those 2 days. I am wrestling with the idea of approaching women finally when I'm there or just sightseeing. The latter without the former, I know I will regret. Since I'm away in isolation, maybe it will be easier.

I won't know anyone there that's not distant family (which I would like to avoid for the 2 days). Suggestions appreciated.