Thought it's quite insightful..
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Meanwhile in St. Barts... Jessica Alba slips back in her Into The Blue bikini (eight years and two children later) and looks better than ever
Quote:bouncer Wrote:
I work at a smaller club in a major American city. Some people on this forum have probably been there. I know for a fact one of our promoters used to be into Mehows stuff. It's the kind of place that's more "lounge-y", but turns into a nightclub with international DJ acts during the night. Lots of hipster types. Lots of military. We're known for our authenticity and quality (we're not a shitty dive), so when we throw a hip hop party, for instance, we get GOOD and WELL RESPECTED hip hop djs/artists to come through. The crowd for that is definitely different than it is for an electro night or dubstep night or the occasional jazz night that we'll have on monday or tuesday.
I spend EVERY NIGHT OF MY LIFE in a club, and it never ceases to amaze me. I see guys getting blown out left and right, I see girls standing in the middle of a dance floor hoping someone will bang them, and I see chode crystals *I HATE CHODE CRYSTALS* orbiting around the club's perimeter like a sticky fungus.
Idiots pissed because some girl talked to him for a few minutes and now he went back to his friends. Dudes on the sidelines of the club staring mouth agape at the dudes who actually DO come in and rock it (very FEW of whom ever even have money!).
Q: You can add a lot of value by telling people what a good approach looks like to you?
Something you have to realize is that nightclubs are FILLED WITH CHODES. The dudes who pull successfully are the 1%. That's why it's so crazy to me when people on this forum think that if they did a few things slightly differently they'd have gotten a lay that night. If you're going to be pulling straight from the club, you NEED TO BE that 1% (yeah, I'm sure there are some ninja pulls going on, but selection bias and whatnot). Nothing is more frustrating to me than babysitting a chode crystal (remember, I have to overhear all the conversation). Thirty fucking minutes of dudes with drinks in their hands trying to hype each other up with "Dude, she's hot. Brad, go talk to her! No YOU talk to her faggot" and so on and so forth. It disgusts me. You know what eventually happens? Some dude, all by himself, goes up and talks to her. Maybe she rejects him, maybe not. But even if she does reject him, it's INFINITELLY less painful than the thirty minutes of psychological torture these dudes just inflicted on themselves.
So that's the thing. If you want to talk to a chick. Go TALK TO HER. I have way more respect for the dude with no game that just goes around hitting on chicks all night than the dude who stands in the corner with a predatory look in his eye, trying to psych himself up to talk to a chick but never actually doing it.
So a good club pull:
Dude walks up to chick. Confidently starts conversation with her. Could be absolutely anything. Maybe he makes her laugh. Maybe she giggles and starts to walk away.
THATS FINE BECAUSE HE GOES UP TO THE NEXT HOT GIRL HE SEES AND STARTS A CONVERSATION. Repeats the proccess. They have fun. He keeps it sexual. Maybe they separate to buy a drink or go to the bathroom or something. He finds her again. Comfort conversation, but not TOO deep. Deep drunk conversations are never real the next morning. You just want to find some shallow common ground. Pulls her to his pad or an afterparty or gets the number.
WTF? You say. "That sounds textbook". Yeah, it is. That's the problem. THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING CHODERY IN NIGHTCLUBS. Girls will stand there, in the middle of a bar, dressed in their best dresses, WAITING FOR A COOL DUDE TO COME UP. You don't even ACTUALLY have to be cool. PRETEND TO BE COOL. I know plenty of scumbags that just act like they're the shit but its fun for the girls to think about banging him so they do. DO NOT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY. If you open indirect, it needs to be subcommunicated that you're only using it as a way to bring her into your reality. If you walk up to a chick, walk up to her LIKE A MAN and demand attention. I see SO many striped shirt dudes who meekly go up to a chick, wait for her to notice him, and meekly ask to buy them a drink. Or they'll meekly stand near a chick on a dance floor and awkwardly fumble for her giggly bits. LEAD. Understand that a quick rejection happens thousands of times under a single clubs roof on any given saturday night. If you get rejected, MOVE ON or come back later (the girls are drunker, and if you come back and are cool and not butthurt they won't even remember why they rejected you). And if you can handle rejection and not be all butthurt and have FUN with the damn thing, everyone sees and you just end up looking more awesome.
If I can go off on an even worse and drunker tangent, that's the problem with the woo/intent dichotomy. Guys in a club with just woo look fucking GAY. We had a bunch of marines in the other night who couldn't pull, so they just got hammered and danced it up on the dancefloor. Good for them. So many guys can't have a good time without drugs or pussy. Good for them. But they looked gay. You have to inject intent into your woo. People will see that you are not "having fun and trying to pick up girls", but you are "picking up girls BECAUSE IT IS FUN". Everyone wants to be a part of the fun. Guys who hit on girls and are creepy are doing it out of a sense of needing validation, and it comes through in every action. And think about what would happen if the chick DID go home with that dude. How bad would that sex be? With a guy who has fun picking up chicks (not just succeeding, but actually has fun flirting and meeting people and being social-- a guy who has fun with the process), you can bet the sex'll be fun too. What girl wouldn't want to go home with that?
Q: What are the top 5 mistakes you see guys making when dealing with chicks in clubs that are making the BIGGEST negative impact?
1. Not having fun. A club is supposed to be a party. If you can't have a good time at a party, why would anyone want to hang out with you?
2. Having too much fun without talking to girls. This is awful. It doesn't even make you look gay, because gay guys would be talking to the girls. It makes you look asexual. If you are getting crazy with your homeboys but are too scared and chode up when you talk to girls, it makes you look like a guy who has spent so long not getting laid that girls aren't even in his reality anymore.
3. If you're gonna be in a chode crystal, at least make it look like you're in a chode crystal because the dudes you're with are fucking awesome. If you are looking around at all the people and all the pretty lights its really fucking obvious that a) you're looking around wondering if people are judging you or b) trying to draw state from your environment. I know when tyler says it it sounds all new-agey, but if you spend any amount of time in nightclubs you'll see people (especially drunk people) wear their "inner-game" on their sleeve.
4. Getting hammered and trying to grind up on girls. Yeah, I know, "dance floor game". It's pretty easy to tell if you're doing it because it's fun and you're a cool guy who's having fun with pretty girls on the dance floor or if you're doing it because you're too wasted to even introduce yourself and have finally stuffed enough alcohol down your throat to be brave enough to grope some chick on the dancefloor.
5. Trying to show how badass you are by breaking the rules. Maybe it works for you in the moment, but trying to show a chick what a rebel you are by having a cigarette on the smoking patio when the smoking patio is closed is going to make you look awfully silly when I kick you out at 11pm. I'm probably WAY more sober than you, so if you get into an argument with me you're going to end up looking like an idiot in front of the chick you were trying to bang.
6 (if i could count I wouldn't be working in a club). Being a pussy. There's no such thing as rejection, really, if you're having a good night. A girl might be a bitch to you and back away from a conversation, but if you're having a good time and she sees you an hour later she won't even remember. I think that handling a rejection well is actually a *good* thing because the chick sees that you don't need her in your life so it's no pressure on her end. Think about it, if a girl feels like she ruined your night by rejecting you, she's not gonna want to bang you. If she sees that you *REALLY* don't care (not a fake "oh well she was a bitch anyway" don't care), it takes all the pressure off of her in her interactions with you.
Q: Whats your opinion on creepy touchy guys?
Touchy guys are cool, creepy touchy guys are not. How drunk were you? How controlled were you? The drunker you get, the bigger the case against you is if you're getting physically aggressive with girls. The big problem is that we don't know where the line is. If you're getting too touchy right now, are you the kind of guy that will get drunk and be grabbing titties all around the club? We try and be *preventative* when kicking people out, so we kick people out BEFORE they do anything REALLY stupid. Because you were "uncalibrated" with your "kino", the bouncer probably felt like you might be that kind of guy that goes around groping folks.
Some girls will be totally into you being touchy, some girls will freak out if you give them a hug. Ugly and average chicks will reject you HARDER and EASIER because they want to feel more powerful socially than they do in day to day life. Misogynist and shallow but true. But look:
If you are in a club going hard every night, you're going to creep some girls out. Some girls are bitches. Personally, I understand that. I mean, I have to kick you out because girls are a commodity in nightlife and we have to keep them drunk and happy, but it's nothing personal. Sometimes when I kick dudes out I think to myself that they seem like people I'd love to party with. Sometimes you get kicked out of places. I've been kicked out of a few places myself. It happens.
Also, dude, creepy touchy isn't beast mode. I think that point has been made countless times.
Yeah there are white knight bouncers, but you sound uncalibrated with the whole "not used to seeing beast mode in action". Beast mode isn't going around groping chicks. Beastmode is stepping up and not being a pussy who's afraid of rejection. You are probably coming off as a guy who, if they let you stay in the bar, will get way too drunk and go around molesting chicks. That stuff isn't okay. Getting rejected is cool. Making chicks fear for their safety isn't.
Q: What kind of archetype of ppl do you see pulling from a cold approach especially from the hottest chuck's in the club?
What kind of archetype? Fun awesome dudes with confidence. No physical archetype. One of our regulars looks like a 5 foot tall steve aoki, and he regularly pulls hot girls. He's awesome.
You know who are the worst chodes? Good looking guys. They stand around in their striped shirts and gelled hair and just kind of look around smiling with this look in their eye like their personal universe is imploding, and then they blame the venue before leaving. It's hilarious to see because it's these guys projecting all kinds of confidence, but they have no idea how to approach a girl themselves. It's like seeing a tiger whose been stuck in a zoo all his life and been hand fed by his trainers not knowing how to hunt a squirrel when they release it into the wild.
Q: You said to just step up and have normal conversation. I tried doing this last night and it's just so fucking loud. Just speak louder right? Or isolate to outside in the cold where it's quieter? Also what's the best way to approach a girl who is completely focused on dancing basically not even paying attention to other people?
Yes. Just speak louder. Take her to the smoking patio. If you're cool she should be leaning in to hear you anyways, or you could get up in her ear and whatnot. Sexy.
Make her stop focusing on dancing. I think that's old-skool Brad. Go up to her on the dancefloor, tap her on the shoulder, and say shit to her. If she's that focused on dancing, she's already in a pretty emotional state, so make it tense and shit like a movie. Then dance with her. It makes sense, most dudes would just go up and awkwardly try to grind on her. Be the 1% that isn't a pussy. Give her the opportunity to flat out reject you, most guys kind of dance around the line so girls are in an awkward position of rejecting pseudo-advances. I think that's a big part of it when a girl says a guy is "creepy". Creepy dudes try and dance around rejection with "smoothness". Make bold moves.
Q: when you see these types of girls playing their game, and you see them blow off guys left and right, and you see them only talking to bouncers, flirting with them, flirting with the bartenders, how can you as a regular patron hook up with these girls?. I mean, does being "in state" being direct, being fun, charming, having good tonality, does any of this even matter or give you a chance with these girls? or are you simply gonna be screened out no matter what?
I have to stand and watch drunk people ALL NIGHT LONG. It's fucking boring, and when it's not boring it's fucking obnoxious and unpredictable. Hot drunk girls flirting with us is pretty much the only perk of the job, and the only thing that makes work worth going to. Am I getting "played" when a hot chick flirts with me? Why the fuck would I care? Shit's boring, I get to look at her tits for a bit. I'm *at work*.
Will I let her skip the line some other night? Yeah, if she's cool. You know what, I also let cool dudes skip the line. A big part of nightlife is selling a fantasy. People want to feel like they're celebrities. If people are cool and add value (be it cool conversation, the little adrenaline rush of a hot girl flirting with you, or whatever) to my otherwise boring ass night, why wouldn't I treat them well?
And yeah, a bartender giving a chick a free drink *is* less chode. He's doing it for business. Keeps the girls coming back, they tell their cute friends "I know the bartender at XYZ, let's go THERE tonight". Honestly, if it weren't for the cute girls, working in nightlife would fucking blow. They make the night go by faster, and they're good for business. Of course we're going to do what we can to keep them coming back (we also do what we can to keep cool dudes coming back too, but they have to be COOL DUDES).
THAT SAID if a chick is clearly trying to play me and get me to comp her drinks or let her skip the line, I laugh at her and give her this face: weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/yao-ming-fuck-that-guy-rage-face.png
That shit isn't cool. Basically if a chick wants free stuff just because she's hot, she won't get it (at least from me). If she puts in her time and makes my night more enjoyable by being cool and having a conversation or flirting with me, then yeah, I might let her skip the line next time. If I think she was just trying to play a game and get shit out of me, I'll make her pay and wait in line and see how she reacts. If she was cool with it, then I'll comp her the next time. It's all about bringing cool people back in.
As for your second question, some girls will only bang the bartender or bouncers. Some chicks will only bang musicians. Some chicks will only bang asian or jewish guys. Why trouble yourself with those kinds of girls? Some girls are dumb like that. Also, these girls are usually a) dumb or b) not that hot. A bouncer or bartender has IMMEDIATE value, but if I or any of the bartenders go out into the "real world" (a place most people who work in nightlife hate) and tell people that we work in a fucking nightclub, we get no real respect. A lot of times a girl will be super into me, slip me her number, flirt real hard, etc, because IN THAT ENVIRONMENT I have a ton of value, but those kinds of girls flake a TON because they wake up to the real world and they're all "wtf i gave my number to the bouncer last night..."
Also if your game was tight this wouldn't be a problem.
Q: what can we do to befriend bouncers so that they RECOGNIZE us? usually i do some (very) small talk with people around me so with bouncers too. but still i'm just another blurred face of the night. they don't really recognise me even if go to that exact club about 8 times a month. one thing that comes to my mind is to keep bringing hot hot girls with me to show off a bit. other suggestions?
Uh, introduce yourself? If you're cool and make small talk and are also coming into the place a lot, there's no reason not to. Just don't convey that you're looking for free shit. We get people trying to be all buddy buddy with us all night trying to get free shit, and it's obnoxious. Introduce yourself, be cool, and let the bouncers see that you're cool to pay and tip well and whatnot so that when you DO get free shit, you're going to be actually grateful for it instead of expecting it. The easiest way for me to to not give someone free shit is for them to be pissed when I don't give them free shit.
OR you can act like your someone important and if the bouncers aren't super chill with you they'll be fired. I understand that Tyler likes to do this and it gets him into the nice LA clubs (and frankly at the nice LA clubs it's kind of important that you DO do this), but if you fuck it up you're going to look like a tool. Best to go with the "be a cool guy" route unless you know what you're doing.
Q: Could you give some insights on hot bartenders? Do bars/clubs make a ton of money?
Bartenders are in a profession where their relationships with people can be monetized. It eats their souls. Especially the hot ones. The bartenders will forge relationships with you because they know that you will come back to them and also give them a good tip. It's not a fake relationship or friendship they're building, it's just that after a few years in the business they forget how to make friends with people without tying it to how well people tip or how much money they can get out of them. You'll hear things like "I thought that dude was really fucking cool, but he only left a $x tip. What a douchebag."
But if you want to bang the bartender, it's about the social proof. Be nice, tip well, and then have them see that all the chicks in the club want to bang you. If you're having an awesome time, the bartenders will want to serve you because they want to be a part of that awesome time.
Then again, there are bartenders who have been in the industry long enough that they just hate everyone except for other people in the industry. When you think about it, it makes sense. What "normal" dude would want to be in a relationship with a chick who is gone every night until 3-5am and comes home anywhere from tipsy to drunk (in many states bartenders can drink on the job)? Yeah, they'll sometimes bang regulars, but it's best to have the hot bartenders as an accessory to your awesome night than trying to go for them while ignoring every other hot (and far easier) girl in the club.
As far as money goes, it depends. When the money is good, THE MONEY IS GOOD. Markup on alcohol is like 600 percent, moreso for bottles. But its inconsistant, and there's not a big lifespan. Clubs that are really cool will be ghetto three years later. An off night means HUGE expenses and bad word of mouth. Not a consistant business. I've come away with hundreds of dollars in my pocket on a good wednesday. I've also walked away form a shitty saturday with only thirty bucks.
Q: what kind of archetype of ppl do you see pulling from a cold approach especially from the hottest chuck's in the club? im from new york city and go to the most prestogious clubs and the guys who pull the hottest girls are usually taller buff guys, or other alphas. do u see short asian/indian pull from a cold approach? i find it ironic because the buff jerzey shore archetype are usually the guys that pull the most. maybe its sifferent there in cali
What kind of archetype? Fun awesome dudes with confidence. No physical archetype. One of our regulars looks like a 5 foot tall steve aoki, and he regularly pulls hot girls. He's awesome.
You know who are the worst chodes? Good looking guys. They stand around in their striped shirts and gelled hair and just kind of look around smiling with this look in their eye like their personal universe is imploding, and then they blame the venue before leaving. It's hilarious to see because it's these guys projecting all kinds of confidence, but they have no idea how to approach a girl themselves. It's like seeing a tiger whose been stuck in a zoo all his life and been hand fed by his trainers not knowing how to hunt a squirrel when they release it into the wild.
Q: In your experience, how often do hot girls get pulled by random guys they just met? I suppose it's hard to tell, since for example, when I pull someone you can't always tell we just met or that we're going to fuck, and sometimes it'll look like a sure thing, but I don't end up closing the deal. What's your rough estimate though - for hot girls?
If the girls are out looking for it? Like fifty percent of the time. That's why I say so many dudes are chodes. You think you're pissed when you go home and don't get laid? You should see what a chick who spent all night dressing up and making herself look good looks like when she walks out empty handed because every dude in the venue was too intimidated to talk to her/acted all weird when they did talk to her.
If the girls are out for some other reason, then like 5% of the time? But again, it's because the dudes are chodes, not because it's a statistical improbability.
If you want to get laid, you need to be the 1%, because you need to be the guy who ISN'T like the other chodes in the club. SO MANY DUDES are scared and afraid and intimidated, or they're trying to step up and act tough to prove that they're not scared or intimidated. The unifying thing in guys that pull girls are the fact that they feel comfortable in the environment they're at. Which they should. Because clubs are a place you're supposed to go to to relax and blow off steam.
I once saw a retarded dude pull a pretty hot chick. She wasn't even that drunk. His cousin was freaking out and being like "holy shit I should intervene" but I told him he didn't have to. Why did he pull her? He was too stupid to be intimidated and just went up to her and was like "hey your pretty lets dance" and next thing you know he's making out with the chick on the smoking patio while his cousin is having his world exploded. It was awesome.
Q: What are the best methods for a dude to gain fast entry into the nightclub?
- Offer a cigarette, handwarmers (for frequented venues)
- Dress Nice
- Good Vibes
- Bring hot chicks
- Brush past the line and convey social value at the door?
First four are good, especially for places you frequent. The MOST IMPORTANT thing is, however, to be okay with *not* getting special treatment. Oftentimes if I'm on the fence over whether a dude's a cool guy or not, I'll give him no special treatment whatsoever to see if he's just trying to get something out of me. If he's cool with paying cover or waiting in line and whatnot, he'll for sure get special treatment next time.
Keep in mind, however, that we still answer to our managers, who might tell us to hold the line or to run it loose or whatever other requests they have. I also try and run the door pretty loose personally, because as I said I have no problem with sacrificing some money to give folks the sense of it being "our venue" and keep people coming back.
Also remember that some places are strict, some places have douchey doorguys, etc.
Now, your last point is the highest risk and highest reward. It will get you into places the first four won't. But you better be able to pull it off. As I said, it's what Tyler does, but you have to be pretty good to pull it off, and you better be pretty sure that the manager isn't standing by the door when you do it.
Honestly, the best way to skip the line is to grease the door (pay the bouncer). Just subtly but not sketchily ask the door guy off to the side how much it would be to get past the line. Chances are you'll still have to pay cover, but its the best no hassle way to get through. Uh, and if you try this in a place like vegas get ready to pay some seriously big bucks.
Q: Also contrary to what most guys experience is on here, a LOT of girls seem to not like it when I say I'm not drinking tonight. Ive seen it a few times where a girl offers to buy me a drink and I turn it down. It's like they label me as prude. I've heard many dudes say it's a non-issue but for me a lot of times it kills attraction or the girl will continually try to get me to drink until I have to grab her and say "no!". Either way I feel like it kills attraction. What's ur best advice?
How old are you? Sounds to me like you're in a bar with a lot of younger folks. Younger folks can't imagine a life without alcohol or having fun without alcohol. Chalk it up to the girls being drunk or immature. Come up with excuses like you being the designated driver or having a family history with alcoholism. Say that you still like to go out because you're very social (you, uh, have to actually *be* very social). Laugh it off. Say you're too drunk already. A lot of girls will also feel weird if they're drunk and the guy they're hooking up with is sober. Can't blame 'em, I used to get self conscious too about being drunk in front of sober people (though now that I spend so much time in the opposite situation, fuck it. People who judge how others act when their drunk are assholes who usually cause scenes themselves when they drink).
As far as pulling? Dunno, I don't live with my parents and there's no way for me to know what exactly goes on when I see folks leaving. Speaking from my personal non-bouncer experience though, compliance ladders are awesome. Pull the chick from one bar to another bar, then to a place to eat, then back to your house. That way she's used to you leading her. Textbook.
Q: Is it easier to get laid as a bouncer or from cold approach when you not at work?
Yes and no. As I said in another post, you have a ton of IMMEDIATE value but no "real-world" value. If a girl you want to bang is into you, you usually have to get cut early and bang her that night or she'll wake up the next morning and be like "omg last night was crazy i gave my number to that bouncer". You will get a lot of girls approaching you and it's up to you to step it up, but as soon as she wakes up, more often than not, you're just another funny part of her night out with her friends. That said, if you get out at midnight and track her down to an afterparty, you're going to get laid.
Also as a bouncer, you have to be professional. When you're out as a regular dude, you can party hard and step up to girls aggressively and go for makeouts and bathroom pulls. You can't do that shit on the job. You have to represent your bar/club well.
That said, this job's given me some interesting sticking points. I've noticed that I've become a bit too reliant on the social value I'm used to getting on the job, to the point that if I get too fucked up at a club I start to get pissed that girls aren't just coming up and talking to me. I'll start to try and brag to girls that I'm a bouncer, which ISN'T a good look. I'm working through it like I have every other sticking point, but it's an interesting one I didn't foresee. Also, you start to feel like you're at work when you're out. You notice every spilled drink, every aggressive dude, and every drunk girl on the verge of passing out. It's hard to turn "bouncer mode" off. Also, as you get more accustomed to being a bouncer, you may start to feel like you're "above" the bar/club scene because you see how stupid everyone looks. It's hard not to become cynical about the scene and realize how fake EVERYTHING is (I mean, this entire post started from a late night alcohol and ambien fueled rant on how stupid 99% of guys in nightclubs are). Be sure to remember that when you're out, you're out to have fun, and it's OKAY to act like a fucking idiot. A lot of bouncers fall into a retarded "us v them" mentality where they view everyone that's out as drunk idiots and them as pinnacles of responsibility and civility, like shitty cops do. Don't fall into that.
Q: What do you think the best thing to do when the bouncer intrudes on the set on a girl I'm talking to and she's into him? Or if its any guys of high status. Chill back, try and tool him or befriend him? Or will it depend on how he's acting IE being a dick , being a try hard bouncer or just being really cool?
As a bouncer, I'd say that if he's being cool, be cool back. As an RSD guy, I'd say that you need to frame the interaction as him erroneously trying to keep you guys safe. "Hey dude, it's all good, we're fine here. Nothing to worry about. Have a good night." Be sure that you're doing it genuinely, because in reality he IS there to keep you guys safe and there SHOULDN'T be anything to worry about. If it seems like you're being sketchy in trying to get him away from you guys, he's going to have his eye on you. When I'm working I'm social and try to talk to everyone, but as a guy in a club I don't want other dudes intruding on my shit, so do what you will.
Q: What's your deal with drugs? Lot of students at these nights out do shit loada drugs. Sometimes security just kick us out and take the drugs for themselves but I never want it the matter going to the police? Would you ever accept money as a let off? I know on some nights (big dubstep nights) pretty much everyone is fucked and security know it, they just don't want to see us in the act of taking it. Are you guys allowed to search our wallets to check for drugs?
Drugs? I like 'em. But if you do them while I'm working, I'm going to throw you out. If i get caught letting drug use happen in the club, I'm going to get reprimanded or fired. If the police catch drug use in the club, they'll shut the place down and I'll be out of work. They're paying me to keep drugs out. Respect the place you're at by doing that shit off property. Would I ever accept money as a let off? Depends on how much/what drug. I'll give people warnings if I see them smoking weed. It would take a lot of fucking money to let you off if I catch you shooting up in a bathroom stall. If you're going to pay off a bouncer, you're paying him off to let you stay in the club, you're not paying him off to let you DO DRUGS in the club. If he catches you doing them again, he'll probably be pissed. That said, everyone has a price. In california, we are allowed to look inside wallets and backpacks, but we aren't allowed to touch anything inside of them. Might be different in other states.
Q: How quick are security in clubs generally 'in there' to stop fights. Gotten into few altercations last couple nights but security weren't there to do anything when it wasn't my fault at all and obviously I didn't want to get into a fight cus I knew it'd fuck my night up.
If you feel like you're about to get into a fight, eye-code security or let them know otherwise. They should be watching and protecting customers from that shit, but it's possible to miss stuff. Look as helpless as possible. if you look like *you're* the one causing shit, they're going to have an eye on you the rest of the night. If you look like a victim, they'll be more likely to step in and forget about you later.
Q: Do you tend to allow people back in another night who have previously gotten kicked out. I have a really good rep with bouncers but really bad with others (I've overheard them talk about how I just hit on everygirl in the club), if i've been kicked out what are the chances of me getting back in next time? Is that up to you or is that based on the clubs policy? And what exactly occurs when you take people's I.D. and details down? Surely it wont make a difference if you dont recognise them?...
Everything is always based on club policy and how big of a douchebag the bouncer is, but you have to REALLY fuck up to be 86'd. Getting kicked out for being drunk happens to everyone, and you'll almost always be let back in. As I said before, be cool and they should be understanding. We don't have a name list, but if we 86 people it's not hard to find them on facebook and send their picture out to the staff. The internet is awesome. Don't worry about your reputation. Some bouncers are haters and white knights. You can't change that.
Q: Is there a line that bouncers can't legally cross with people? I've seen them do some fucked up shit before like taking people behind the club and beating the shit out of them, (like 4 bouncers vs 1 dude), kicing people in the face, chocking them till they can't breathe, searching their wallet for drugs (didn't think that was allowed), not letting my friend in because they don't like him (for no perticular reason) etc.
Disgusting and unprofessional. I hate bullies. Legally (in CA) we are allowed to use "Necessary and Reasonable Force" to eject people we don't want on our employers property, place people under citizens arrest through detention that doesn't cause physical bodily harm while we await the arrival of a police officer, and use "Necessary and Reasonable Force" to protect ourselves. So we can't overdo it, and few courts will be okay with you striking someone who didn't strike you first. It's mostly grappling. We can refuse entry or service to anyone for any reason. It's private property. If they were being assholes about it, call management with your complaint the next day. Write a bad yelp review. Management should take notice.
Q: How do I pull this female security guard lol? I dont know how she got the job cus she's hot and slim and not intimidating at all......she's into me, is fine with me going in for the kiss, flirting with her but won't go further. She loves it though. Just wait till end of the night when she's leaving or when I see her out normally?
Get her number, invite her to an afterparty, have her see you with other girls but don't rub it in her face, but don't do anything that'd put her job in danger. She'll get fired if she makes out with a dude on the job, so find her when she's not on the clock. Ask her when her nights off are, where she's partying, etc. Invite her out.
Q: what about bouncer catching two ppl at it in the bathroom stalls? are you out the club etc
Personally I'd warn them if they seem like they're not going to break anymore rules or I'd kick 'em out if it seems like they are. They'd be allowed back in another night unless they were repeat offenders.
Q: Tell some stories. What is the strangest thing you've ever seen, the thing that left you with your mouth hanging open thinking WTF?!?! What's the funniest thing?
Strangest thing:
We're located in a bit of a "colorful" area. It's a bit higher crime, and there's a lot of crazy homeless people wandering the streets. It adds to the charm of the place.
Anyway, standard procedure is to deny homeless people entry. Sucks for them but they wouldn't be able to afford our drinks anyway. However, this seems to anger a lot of homeless people. One time I denied a crusty old dude entry, and he flips the fuck out in a schizophrenic rage. Obviously I still deny him, and he starts to walk away, screaming obscenities at me. So far this is all pretty routine. Then, about ten feet away from me, he just pulls down his pants and anger-shits on the sidewalk, in front of all the people standing in line, screaming like he's going to go Super-Saiyan. He pulls up his pants and disappears into the night.
Other strange stuff is weird to the layman but normal to me at this point. Couples having sex in the booths in front of everyone, girls on ecstasy grinding their pussies on our subwoofers, fights between some chick's boyfriend and a dude he was having a gay affair with, absurd drunken cat fights, strange behavior from diva djs, etc.
Funniest thing:
My go-to "funniest thing" story would give away my identity, as it's a pretty infamous incident. Essentially it was a pseudo-violent case of mistaken identity that will follow me for as long as I follow this career path, that was humiliating at the time (still is) but absurd in retrospect. The guy was cool about it too and we cleared it up quickly, but uh, it was retarded.
SECOND funniest thing that comes to mind would be another time I was working the door and denying entry to a homeless guy. Mid fifties, total of three teeth, covered in filth, bent cigarette hanging from his lips, etc. Anyway, this (pretty cute) girl who had been fighting with her boyfriend and trying to make him jealous all night comes out of the bar, absolutely HAMMERED, as I'm telling this dude he can't come in. She asks to share his cigarette with him, which is gross enough because the dude's mouth must have been a fucking cesspool. I'm thinking to myself that she's just going to extremes to make her bf jealous, but it soon becomes apparent that she's so drunk that she DOESN'T REALIZE HE'S A HOMELESS GUY. Anyways, they're talking and she's getting more and more flirty with this homeless dude who probably hasn't so much as made eye contact with any regular girl in twenty years, nevermind a cute one. She asks if he was partying inside, he tells her that I won't let him in. The girl starts yelling at ME, saying that I'm racist for not letting him in (he was black), that he's totally fine, that he's not even drunk, etc. I, at this point, am at a loss for words when her bf and his sober friend walk out of the bar. She sees her bf AND STARTS FUCKING MAKING OUT WITH THE HOMELESS GUY. BF looks like he can't decide whether he wants to cry or vomit. Sober friend is speechless. I'm doing my best not to crack the fuck up. The BF runs inside, the sober friend just stares at her while I tell him that he HAS to tell her about all of this tomorrow, and after about five minutes she HAILS A CAB AND RIDES INTO THE NIGHT WITH THE HOMELESS GUY.
So fucking dirty.
edit: oh yeah, we have a few strange regulars too. If they're harmless, I can't justify not letting them in. In my opinion, good on them for at least getting out of the house.
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Meanwhile in St. Barts... Jessica Alba slips back in her Into The Blue bikini (eight years and two children later) and looks better than ever
![[Image: T04ni.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/T04ni.gif)
