[BadWolf]

I think a quick hard shove followed by "wtf you touching my face for?"

would be in order. That puts the ball squarely in his court.

The other poster is correct, this would not be tolerated in Asia, you would be looking at a complete beat down. Face is an issue here. Your reaction was inapropriate, even my wife would have called him out and shes a 4ft nothing chinese girl. You should see what my brother in law does to people for insulting his sister and me... I am now proud to be a part of my Chinese family. Had a 5ft nothing Chinese guy say some sh1t to me in mandarin in my wife's hometown, her brothers response was immedeate, shoved dude back and started screaming in his face. Other guy apologized to her and I and we walked on... my brother in law is 2 feet shorter than me but you would not want to fvck with him... I wanted to give him a great big hug him in the street but thats not what they do here.

[WhiteFang]

How about this? Smile real big and point at him like "you! funny guy!" then get in close to him, drop the smile, and whisper in his ear "if you ever touch me again, I'll fucking kill you" then put the big smile back on and step away, giving him the same pat on the cheek as you go.

[nek]

There's a tricky line you got to toe with this. At first, I found myself agreeing with the 'punch him in the face immediately' idea but a few things came to mind:

1.) Assuming it wasn't a hard hit, overreacting can come off as taking yourself to seriously. Not as the fun care-free guy. Taking yourself too seriously signals insecurity.

2.) You ever had a girl slap you? Particularly one you know or have been flirting with? What do you do? You don't react at all. You keep talking as if nothing happened, you keep smiling (this works, trust me). Like she can't hurt you. So taking this mentality into the equation can work to, but once again it's only if he didn't hit you hard.

3.) If he's trying for showmanship, makes an announcement of it before he does it, then it's AMOGing and you have the right to break his face.

While I agree that it is disrespectful, you have to toe the line between standing up for yourself and coming off as insecure. Think about it, if a little boy punched you, are you gonna get all hot and bothered? No, you'd come off as an insecure d-bag. but once again if the guy has some size on him, it almost warrants a response. So toe the line, there's no clear cut answer to this my friend. I think you gotta accept that you're gonna win some, gonna lose some. Don't beat yourself up on mistakes you made with your reaction or lack there of. The best athletes are the ones that have amnesia when it comes to the mistakes they make. They get back in the game and think they're gonna hit a home run.

[Millz]

I would have bottled him to be honest but thats just me.. No one and I repeat no one touches my face (Except females who I'm fucking)

[soup]

Nobody puts their hands on me at the bar.

Even girls. Girls who tap me on the shoulder so they can order a drink are ignored.

If I don't initiate physical contact with you, then there is a problem.

[bhawthorne]

I'm naturally very sarcastic and honestly don't give two shits about what others think of me (especially people who I don't know). Without having thought about it too much, here is what I would probably do:

(02-08-2013 08:50 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

Like e.g. being at the bar, catching the eye of some guy then he reaches over to give you a high five but lightly slaps your face, maybe to show off to his girl. Done in a way that comes over kinda derogatory.

Smile/laugh and say "That's cool. I remember my first beer."

(02-08-2013 08:50 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

Or like he steps on your foot, turns to apologize but in doing so slaps you on the chest as if to say "haha, stay there".

Smile/laugh and say "Apology accepted, just don't do it again." It's especially funny if he never apologized in the first place, but you're accepting it anyway. Make sure to do it in a way that he's left wondering whether you're serious or joking.

[Vicious]

(02-11-2013 09:49 AM)soup Wrote:  

Even girls. Girls who tap me on the shoulder so they can order a drink are ignored.

If I don't initiate physical contact with you, then there is a problem.

Ah, now this is trickier. You really can't win this kind of encounter. A girl trying to get to the bar can just about start pecking on you without the surrounding environment blaming anyone but you should you protest this behaviour. You can't raise your voice or lay hand on her. She pretty much has to go apeshit for you to come out on top.

[soup]

(02-11-2013 10:07 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 09:49 AM)soup Wrote:  

Even girls. Girls who tap me on the shoulder so they can order a drink are ignored.

If I don't initiate physical contact with you, then there is a problem.

Ah, now this is trickier. You really can't win this kind of encounter. A girl trying to get to the bar can just about start pecking on you without the surrounding environment blaming anyone but you should you protest this behaviour. You can't raise your voice or lay hand on her. She pretty much has to go apeshit for you to come out on top.

This only happens when I have my back turned to the room and am facing the bar. Essentially, it looks like I'm ordering a drink.

I consider it rude, especially when there are so many other spaces to place an order at the bar. So, instead of engaging, I just ignore it completely. Or, a lot of the time when she's like "Can I place an order", I just reply with "go ahead" and I don't move (or I gesture towards another area of the bar).

Or if guys or girls ask "are you waiting for a drink" I just say "yes" so that they'll walk away regardless of whether or not my glass is empty.

[bojangles]

(02-11-2013 10:16 AM)soup Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 10:07 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 09:49 AM)soup Wrote:  

Even girls. Girls who tap me on the shoulder so they can order a drink are ignored.

If I don't initiate physical contact with you, then there is a problem.

Ah, now this is trickier. You really can't win this kind of encounter. A girl trying to get to the bar can just about start pecking on you without the surrounding environment blaming anyone but you should you protest this behaviour. You can't raise your voice or lay hand on her. She pretty much has to go apeshit for you to come out on top.

This only happens when I have my back turned to the room and am facing the bar. Essentially, it looks like I'm ordering a drink.

I consider it rude, especially when there are so many other spaces to place an order at the bar. So, instead of engaging, I just ignore it completely. Or, a lot of the time when she's like "Can I place an order", I just reply with "go ahead" and I don't move (or I gesture towards another area of the bar).

Or if guys or girls ask "are you waiting for a drink" I just say "yes" so that they'll walk away regardless of whether or not my glass is empty.

Yep, it's exactly what I do too.

I think WhiteFAng about has it on a tee, it's pretty goodfellas or mafia like. That little hey you're a funny guy, pulling him close in a headlock with a big grin on your face, whisper in the ear, do that again and I'll fuck you up, big smile, ahh you're a fun guy, slap him back.

[WhiteFang]

(02-11-2013 10:55 AM)bojangles Wrote:  

I think WhiteFAng about has it on a tee, it's pretty goodfellas or mafia like. That little hey you're a funny guy, pulling him close in a headlock with a big grin on your face, whisper in the ear, do that again and I'll fuck you up, big smile, ahh you're a fun guy, slap him back.

Exactly ... show him you are not to be fucked with but to anyone else watching you're jovial and it's no big deal.

[Aliblahba]

(02-11-2013 10:07 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 09:49 AM)soup Wrote:  

Even girls. Girls who tap me on the shoulder so they can order a drink are ignored.

If I don't initiate physical contact with you, then there is a problem.

Ah, now this is trickier. You really can't win this kind of encounter. A girl trying to get to the bar can just about start pecking on you without the surrounding environment blaming anyone but you should you protest this behaviour. You can't raise your voice or lay hand on her. She pretty much has to go apeshit for you to come out on top.

[el mechanico]

I didn't read the entire thread but I would say if this is an isolated thing don't worry about it. If shit like that happens to you all the time or even sometimes you're putting off the wrong vibe.

As far as dealing with an asshole without making a spectacle of yourself....Wait until he goes to the bathroom and follow him. Grab him by the back of the head when he's opening the door and slam him into the urinal and say your peace then let him go. If he wants to fight then fight. The mens room is a great place to settle these things and if he gets bloody there's water and towels,, no bouncer,,no screaming whores,,most dudes won't get involved in there..

[_GQ_]

I would have kneed him in the nuts, kicked him over, spit on him, and calmly exited the premises.

[Aliblahba]

To make the OP feel better:

Ok, first of all, another guys shouldn't be close enough to you for contact. That's poor positioning. In the Marines we call it "one arms distance". This way, if someone does want to hit you, they have to close the distance, and you'll see it coming.

Secondly, learn some wrist locks. You can snatch the dude by the hand and put him in some pain, humiliation, ect. without losing face. Just smile the whole time and joke around until he gives up.

I still can't understand the concept of getting slapped and not retaliating. I can much more stand to get punched in the face than bitch slapped. You want to see Ali go into a blood rage? Backhand me.

[_GQ_]

IRT got White Knight'ed:

[Anon-A-Moose]

Usually you can run with it two ways. The sociable way is generally the best unless you're big or put off a "I eat children for fun" sort of vibe and your objective isn't to hook up with his friends but to keep him away. I've only used the second approach with guys who are overly sociable and stepping on everyone's toes, so to speak.
Sociable = something like "puttin' your hands on me, you like what you feel?" with a very gay accent, or something similar--a subtle jab but still funny, so it can be taken both ways. After it I'd say something like "don't do that again. Not cool," as a sort of "hey, you crossed the line there", if the situation warranted it.
Stay away from me don't bother me again = a tight grip on the offending wrist and a low "touch me again, we're gonna have a problem". Works better if you already have a dangerous vibe and/or are rather rough looking.
These sort of reasons, and the constant fucking peacocking, are why I pretty much gave up on night game.

(02-11-2013 02:13 PM)_GQ_ Wrote:  

IRT got White Knight'ed:

I love that clip. Her self righteous shit and "omg how dare you slap", and he just slaps her right the fuck back, no holds barred. Eye for an eye.

[23Billion]

To the OP.

Bro hit the gym, get big and take some martial arts/self defense classes. This will boost your confidence and bitchz are attracted to muscular guys like bees on honey. Go take some Ninjitsu lessons you could learn a lot in a short period of time unlike other martial arts.

[MikeinMKE]

(02-08-2013 08:50 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

One thing that's always gotten to me is when bratty guys, usually young, mess with you a little. Like e.g. being at the bar, catching the eye of some guy then he reaches over to give you a high five but lightly slaps your face, maybe to show off to his girl. Done in a way that comes over kinda derogatory.

Or like he steps on your foot, turns to apologize but in doing so slaps you on the chest as if to say "haha, stay there".

I know both situs could be done in good-naturedness, but you know you can just tell when the guy is being kinda dickish.

Kinda subtle immature little status grabs. I have trouble shrugging them off - they really do get to me, and I react in one of two ways:

-Say something way overly harsh, not gonna repeat it here lol but something over the top. And then I'm concerned about having gone too far, and I'm on edge afterwards.

-Or if he looks genuinely big and tough, I just get pissed off and dismiss, but seethe after.

Either way it degrades my night. Especially if I'm with a girl, and she sees, and then sees me get pissed off. Vicious cycle.

How do you guys assertively handle these little "status grabs"? It's not like the even need handling, but at the same time I don't like to just do nothing. I feel lame. Any thoughts?

I know exactly what you're talking about but fortunately this never happens or rarely happens once you get to about 30 and stop hanging out at clubs where 22-year-old hang out at. It's actually funny how this thread has kind of taken me back... I had forgotten all about guys like this

[Beachsidejarl]

(02-10-2013 09:44 PM)nek Wrote:  

There's a tricky line you got to toe with this. At first, I found myself agreeing with the 'punch him in the face immediately' idea but a few things came to mind:

1.) Assuming it wasn't a hard hit, overreacting can come off as taking yourself to seriously. Not as the fun care-free guy. Taking yourself too seriously signals insecurity.

2.) You ever had a girl slap you? Particularly one you know or have been flirting with? What do you do? You don't react at all. You keep talking as if nothing happened, you keep smiling (this works, trust me). Like she can't hurt you. So taking this mentality into the equation can work to, but once again it's only if he didn't hit you hard.

3.) If he's trying for showmanship, makes an announcement of it before he does it, then it's AMOGing and you have the right to break his face.

While I agree that it is disrespectful, you have to toe the line between standing up for yourself and coming off as insecure. Think about it, if a little boy punched you, are you gonna get all hot and bothered? No, you'd come off as an insecure d-bag. but once again if the guy has some size on him, it almost warrants a response. So toe the line, there's no clear cut answer to this my friend. I think you gotta accept that you're gonna win some, gonna lose some. Don't beat yourself up on mistakes you made with your reaction or lack there of. The best athletes are the ones that have amnesia when it comes to the mistakes they make. They get back in the game and think they're gonna hit a home run.

I'm reviving this necro-thread by quoting this.
I disagree with what you and others say.

Someone else compared it to shit-tests from girls. Girls and guys are different. You can ignore being slapped by a girl because everyone knows you are just that much more stronger than she is. To slap a girl back as a guy is a coward's act.

If a guy is messing with you, doing nothing isn't demonstrating that you are not insecure. It is simply demonstrating that you're scared, that he was right to mess with you.

That said, the "just bottle him, bro" brigade are delusional. A disrespectful tap can't warrant a full-on face plant UNLESS you're willing to go to almost any length to defend your honor, however defined.

Here's what I think works better: move closer to him, have a smile on your face and just gently slap back. Do it just a little harder than he did. Do it with a wink. Act as if it's a joke, as if it was a joke from the beginning(even if both of you know that it wasn't).

Trap him in his own frame. If he escalates from here, he's the guy who gets the social blame. If he does nothing, you still come out on top.

[draketton]

if I were willing to fight a guy over something like this I'd antagonize him by spitting in his face

never be the first to throw a punch in a bar in the age of smartphones

[Medic42]

(02-08-2013 08:50 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

One thing that's always gotten to me is when bratty guys, usually young, mess with you a little. Like e.g. being at the bar, catching the eye of some guy then he reaches over to give you a high five but lightly slaps your face, maybe to show off to his girl. Done in a way that comes over kinda derogatory.

I would laugh while turning to the side and bringing my right hand up to my face. Then I would rapidly turn towards him and back hand the fucking taste outta his mouf... I'm old enough that I don't look for fights these days but I wont tolerate someone putting hands on me, especially not slapping me in the face like I'm some dumb ho. This is one of the many differences between being a paper alpha and being a real one.

I strongly suspect the way you carry yourself invites this type of treatment. Get in shape and learn to fight, you will naturally carry yourself in a way that lets people like this know they should find another target.

[Medic42]

Also, MAN UP!