What's the most beta thing you've done with a lizard?
01-19-2013, 06:24 AM
All this begins around age 17 when I joined the Army and began to improve my physical appearance (in high school and before I looked like Ron Weasley, but far skinnier so no hope for play), however a domineering mother and chronically depressed, doormat father resulted in pathological betatude until the present.
Side note: I still don't understand why I'm only beta around women; in all my other endeavors I have been very successful: a skilled soldier, good at sports, have learned a few languages, and well regarded and highly proficient in my current job. But women have always been tougher for me to figure out. Until now.
Christ, where to begin...in no particular order:
1. R. (6): invited me to her dorm to "hang out" when she was drunk, lounging back suggestively on her bed, waiting for me to make a move. Did nothing but get hammered and excuse myself to masturbate.
2. R. again: same thing, this time in a hotel in Paris. Same result.
3. R. again: back in the US, we go out for drinks. She suggests we go back to my place to watch a movie. She sits on the love seat, I sit on the couch. She moves from couch next to me on love seat. I do nothing.
4. R. again: after getting shithoused at a Cubs game, she suggest we go to her room to look at some pictures and lie down after a day in the sunny bleachers. I am too busy talking to a friend about skydiving. I end up getting the makeout but do not push further.
5. R. again: just the two of us at her apartment after a party and she wants to watch a movie upstairs in her room. I watch the movie doing nothing about the hard dick in my pants and excuse myself afterwards.
6: C. (solid 8, Serbian): Makeout in my jeep before giving her a ride home from the bar. She says how she always thought I was cute and do I want to come up? No thanks, I'd rather go home and masturbate while hating myself.
7: J. (6, but with huge tits): She asks if I will cuddle with her after a night of drinking. Of course I oblige, then (I'm throwing up as I write this) hesitantly move a hand toward her tit. I ask, "Is this okay?" She feigns sleep, sometime during the night she moves to the couch.
8: S. (7): crawled into bed with me after a house party. I remain fully clothed and do nothing.
9: E. (6): Was pretty dominant during a bar crawl, leading her by the hand everywhere, talking to other girls, not buying her drinks and being aloof. At the end of the night she thrusts her thigh up against my dick as we hug and and asks if I want to watch a movie. Once again, I have internet pornography to attend to...and I take my leave.
10: E. again: I FLY THIS BITCH TO CALIFORNIA. We go out drinking, she's got her hands all over me, I go for the kiss, she turns her head and says she's thinking about her boyfriend. I hope she enjoyed the free plane ticket. She stays at my place for another 2 days and I try nothing.
11: E. again: Makeout in a hotel room after a group multiday backpacking trip. I do not escalate. Back at my house a few days later, she says the guest bedroom is too cold and can she sleep in my bed? I try nothing.
I'm sure there's more, I hate myself just seeing them listed here. Mocking me.
Some victories over the past year:
1. told E. to stop complaining about her fiance to me, that's her problem. rarely return her texts or emails, never promptly. Oddly enough her traffic increases. I do not care. Still gonna go to her wedding though and fuck one of her friends.
2. house party, I go to bed early for work. some chick (a 5) starts singing in the kitchen, I go out and tell her to shut the fuck up, her voice sucks. 30 minutes later she crawls into my bed (I now sleep in the nude to force the issue). I let her know the only way she's staying in here is if my dick is happy. Blow job promptly begins and I fuck her.
3. T. (a 6, maybe? okay face but on the dance squad) says she doesn't want to walk through the snow to my place from the bar and she'll just stay with her friends. Without saying anything, I throw her over my shoulder and start walking. She protests (while laughing and grabbing my ass), I say nothing and continue. Upon entering my apartment she undoes my pants and starts blowing me before I get my coat off. Fuck her several times. My friend Anthony witnessed this and calls me "Caveman" sometimes.
4. M. (7) wants a relationship, I repeatedly blow her off to go skiing or play Xbox. I let her know this. She comes over for sex on demand, swallows every time. Eventually she has enough and moves to Houston, leaving me a long voicemail about what an asshole I am. She is correct.
5. BJ by a black 6 in a Chili's parking lot. Was at the bar, visiting a town where I knew no one. Her 3-set sits down at the L-shaped bar across from me and I started spitting game at her. Was like Neo seeing the matrix on this one. Fucked her for several days afterward while on my work trip. I now have a thing for black girls. Bad.
I still need a buzz on to approach, and think I'm not good enough for 9s-10s, but I believe I'm made some improvement. I still want to bang R. good and hard though, don't know what it is about her.
Thanks, Roosh.
"Okay (and I'm laughing now, because this is so funny), so we're A) not supposed to give you flowers, B) pay you compliments, or C) look at you. Anything else? Because I'm struggling to figure out the reason why after hearing that, I'm feeling like I'd rather get fucked in the ass by a Cape Buffalo than ever have to sit through dinner with you. Maybe you can figure it out for me. When you do, let me know. I'll be at Natasha's house."