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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-05-2012, 11:53 PM
What do you do when a girl flakes or cxl on you at the last momment?
Do you....
A) say nothen.......and fade in to the night...like a gentlemen...never to be seen again....
B) call her out on her B.S. and tell her so...and feel like a champ and realize you are the man...once again....
C) agree to a reschedule another date, which is a bitch move
D) play the stupid bing texting game, two weeks from now, where you degrade your value in order to get laid...even though it works.
E) blame it on the rain and charge it to the game
The scenario:
So I met this hot chick who is like a 8 or 8.5 while she was running at the gym...we hit it off and she laugh alot....good sign...had alot of escalation and physical foreplay....good sign right....got the number with ease and she agree to a friday meet...good sign....some how deep inside...I just know she is going to flake....
So I went ahead and cxl all my friday events...just to hang out with her. I cxl a date with another girl and with my friends...so now I am investing.
I make sure I use roosh text the day before to prevent the flake. She responded we are still on for friday....I still feel the flake is coming. Veterans can sense it. But she is hot and I went ahead and looked forward to the date.
On the day of the date I also text at 1 pm to prevent any flaking....she responded with enthusiasm.....I still sense this bitch is going to clown me....veterans know this.
8pm rolls around she sends this, keep in mind the date starts at 8 pm:
Hey, I gotta go pick up my little brother, another night, we can reschudle?
I personally went with B....for the first time I felt like a new man again...the girl was a solid 8.5 really hot brunette with a really nice ass and she was only 21....I told her she was a liar and thank her for cxling the date at 8pm....the date was suppose to start at 8 pm....she quickly responded and defended her situation....I than went with a no reply....I feel awesome....I will not be clown or punk, no matter how hot the girl is....I earn my balls today.
I truely feel good about myself.
Had I said no then...I would of felt like a little bitch....knowing that I would have to text her again and try to meetup...even if we did it would of suck...in the past I went with reschudle, ...and it is very demoralizing....girls have to much power....I felt awesome calling her out...who gives a fuck what she thinks....I least have my self respect.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:15 AM
E) and A).
Charge it to the game, and move on.
I'm not sure why you keep mentioning "veterans can sense this". For starters I think you kept asking for date confirmation way too many times. Should have just asked 1 or 2 hours before the date. And maybe not even asked her, just sending her a witty or normal comment to let her know its still on.
Also, there's probably a very small chance that her excuse is legit. Which is up to you to decide and decide what action to take, but clearly you already did that.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:18 AM
Quote: (10-06-2012 12:09 AM)3rdmilleniummen Wrote:
Heartiste has a great post on this exact topic here:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/0...-behavior/
I also have a personal example and compilation from the Manosphere of how to respond to this and other shit test responses here:
http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/201...responses/
thanks for the advice bro...I am aware of heartisie theory on this...I disagree with him...and I disagree with alot of his theory...I personally practice game myself...any guy who has game has to make his own decision and can not relay on second hand information or relay on others to solve his own problems...to each his own.
I decide to call her out..because it made me feel good and also I don't want to deal with her again....it is a personal choice....I don't like getting clown...its a personal decision. I agree with heartsie that it is counter productive and leads to fail game. My goal is to feel good. I feel awesome brother...besides I will find some other hot bitch to mac on.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:20 AM
Quote: (10-06-2012 12:15 AM)FretDancer Wrote:
E) and A).
Charge it to the game, and move on.
I'm not sure why you keep mentioning "veterans can sense this". For starters I think you kept asking for date confirmation way too many times. Should have just asked 1 or 2 hours before the date. And maybe not even asked her, just sending her a witty or normal comment to let her know its still on.
Also, there's probably a very small chance that her excuse is legit. Which is up to you to decide and decide what action to take, but clearly you already did that.
Thanks for the advice FretDancer.....your advice is well respected... I stand by my position...fuck her....
I did not send date confirmation...I just sent funny text and bing to see where we stand....text game was solid...bitch was not...
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:30 AM
Also, since these situations are pretty much out of one's reach. I guess the right thing to do in the end is just do what makes you feel better, in your case, its to call her on for her shit.
Reading the heartiste link 3rdmilleniummen posted, I definitely agree with pretty much everything. But it still changes nothing. Just the way you feel about how you deal with it, might just as well deal with it however you feel best within morality and common sense.
It seems you did what you think was right to do, and you feel good about it. Which means you pretty much have nothing to worry about.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 01:11 AM
This is all about inner game, and has nothing to do with what the girl is doing whatsoever. You have to do what you have to do to keep your integrity intact. For me, that's not to worry about it at all either way. For example, it wouldn't bother me at all to reschedule unless I'm pretty sure she's lying. If you reschedule like a little bitch, if you slink off like a little bitch, or you call her out like a little bitch, you're still going to feel like a little bitch. I personally think that spending more than five minutes of your time ruminating over a flakey 8 betrays a scarcity mentality that is squarely anathema to game. Work on your game, get a harem going so that if one flakes on you, it will be like missing the bus; there will be another along in 15 minutes. Think uncaring asshole, as opposed to caring asshole. But in my opinion real game is when you don't have to be an asshole at all. You just next her, kick her to the curb, smilingly and graciously, so that the next time you run into her at the club, she's hugging and kissing you and providing social proof so you can bang her friends.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 06:06 AM
how did you escalate at the gym??
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 06:15 AM
depends on the occasion. if a girls stands me up and i have nobody to go for example to a wedding then i'm pissed and we have a problem. if it's something like our first date then i usually don't respond and call her after few days like nothing happened.
i think you made really silly mistake mr veteran. you said you really FELT her flaking, so why did you cancel every other thing you got scheduled that night then? you could have easily sticked to you other plans at first as a plan b and you could have flaked them on the last moment if you'd met with that chick. but you cancelled everything for random chick, got stood up, called her out on it to feel better about yourself and ended up with nothing instead. not exactly one of those street wise experienced-based decisions if you ask me.
you don't sound like a veteran at all if you ask me. no vet would feel truly feel good about himself about playing validation games over the phone with flaky chick or feel the need to teach the random bitch a lesson in order to boast his self image. vets don't do that cause they don't care
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 07:10 AM
[/quote]
I decide to call her out..because it made me feel good and also I don't want to deal with her again....it is a personal choice....I don't like getting clown...its a personal decision. I agree with heartsie that it is counter productive and leads to fail game. My goal is to feel good. I feel awesome brother...besides I will find some other hot bitch to mac on.
[/quote]
Yeah I've been there as well. Earlier this year I had a girl flake on me, who then tried to meet up again and make it up to me.
I just got to the stage that I didn't care anymore. I deleted her off Facebook which sent her into spasms, saying she must have really upset me. I replied "no, I just don't tolerate people who don't respect my time". Then I sent a follow up saying "you are one weird, strange girl". Felt damn good. LoL.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 08:14 AM
I decide to call her out..because it made me feel good and also I don't want to deal with her again....it is a personal choice....I don't like getting clown...its a personal decision. I agree with heartsie that it is counter productive and leads to fail game. My goal is to feel good. I feel awesome brother...besides I will find some other hot bitch to mac on.
[/quote]
Yeah I've been there as well. Earlier this year I had a girl flake on me, who then tried to meet up again and make it up to me.
I just got to the stage that I didn't care anymore. I deleted her off Facebook which sent her into spasms, saying she must have really upset me. I replied "no, I just don't tolerate people who don't respect my time". Then I sent a follow up saying "you are one weird, strange girl". Felt damn good. LoL.
[/quote]
If you don't call them out...a new problem will emerge....they will try to get you to orbit in order to seek attention....they don't see it as disrespectful.
They will also send you random tease text...and try to get you to chase and see how stupid you are to actually think you had a chance but you didn't...
girls are weird...they like to lead men on.....so by calling her out i prevent her from ever contacting me again....
Its just not worth it...
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 08:21 AM
Quote: (10-06-2012 06:15 AM)XXL Wrote:
depends on the occasion. if a girls stands me up and i have nobody to go for example to a wedding then i'm pissed and we have a problem. if it's something like our first date then i usually don't respond and call her after few days like nothing happened.
you don't sound like a veteran at all if you ask me. no vet would feel truly feel good about himself about playing validation games over the phone with flaky chick or feel the need to teach the random bitch a lesson in order to boast his self image. vets don't do that cause they don't care
You have some valid points. but the main point is...what kind of person cxl at 8 pm on a friday...she subconscious did that on purpose to either create drama, test me,....etc.
Its very rude to cxl on someone at the last moment regardless the circumstance. she had over 5 days to cxl. As I checkin with her multiple day to gauge her and give her away out.
This isn't my first time at the rodeo. I seen this occurance many time. I seen girls doing this to my friends. They do this mostly to get attention and to break men. They thrive on this.
In the past I play it kool like you suggest...only to get random text from them....they like to lead men on...
I did this to prevent a second problem...random text from teasers....
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 08:43 AM
I don't think its ever a good idea to blow your chances of sex with a hot girl
what would make you feel better, calling her out now or banging her in 2 weeks time
Girls pull this shit, if 5 girls do this and by rolling with it you bang 2 of them isn't it worth it.
Better would have been to say cool, no worries, don't take it personally and go and have a great night meet some other chics and this is always somewhere on the back burner. When you see her again at the gym its all cool etc.
I think its never a good idea to take women's behaviour personally, they are not creatures of logic or rational. So accept it as part of the game roll with it and some of those chics will roll back to you.
Just my 2 cents
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 09:21 AM
Getting mad at girls' little BS shows that you are reactive and emotionally invested. A true alpha and a player would read that text message, casually close it out without responding, and go about his business of getting laid that night somewhere else.
You said you don't like Roissy. I think he has one of the greatest maxims in game: always give the vibe of amused mastery. You're in control and nothing fazes you.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 10:40 AM
You made her a priority, when you were only an option to her.
Calling out woman on their bullshit when they're not emotionally invested in you at all is a fail. They don't take it the same way we do.
Reppin the Jersey Shore.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 11:46 AM
This isn't going to be a popular reply but "cool. Next time let me know earlier if you can't make it. We can reschedule at x etc." would be mine.
It doesn't seem to serious an issue because she did ask to reschedule. but these kind of little niggles have put me off going on dates and on to SNL hunting.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 11:52 AM
I only just realised what the reply you ended up using was. Way too angry invested and insecure-sounding. She asked to reschedule man, if she didn't like you she could just have stood you up. Oh well you can learn from it.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:17 PM
Dont take it personal. I've found I've been flaky myself too. It's just other 'more important' things come up in a girls life than hanging out with someone they haven't fucked yet. Play it cool, wait a day or two and re-initiate conversation. Don't even mention the initial flake.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:22 PM
Here's my response when a girl flakes on me:
Me:" OK"
Doesn't matter whether it's two days before or two minutes before the meeting time. Depending on my mood and attraction to her I might text her again in a few days or a few weeks or never.
I feel no need to "teach her a lesson", because I am not emotionally or logistically invested in any particular date. I expect girls to flake about 50% of the time anyway.
There are three methods to avoid becoming reactive to a flake.
First, always have a backup plan. By the day of the date I always have some idea of what I can do to get laid if she cancels on me or even of the date doesn't go well. I think about what venues I can go to in her area to cold approach or regular girls I can booty call. Sometimes I double book, especially if it's an online first meeting. This does a lot to relieve you of the feeling that you have invested in the date.
Second, always have lots of girls in your funnel. You should have girls you are banging, girls you have been on a date with but haven't banged, girls you have upcoming dates with, girls you have been texting, and girls you just got a number from. Lots of options reduces the pressure.
Third, improve your Inner Game.
"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 12:22 PM
I personally would not have cancelled my original plans to meet her because you just know whenever you cancel plans to make new ones the new plans fall through. I also wouldn't have tried to arrange a date with her on a Friday night, what guy with any worth doesn't have plans on a Friday night? Lastly I would not have texted her back when she cancelled. I would have ignored it, not because I was pissed off or angry (even though I might be a bit annoyed) but just so she's left thinking about "why hasn't he texted me back?"
Being abusive and calling her a liar makes you look insecure and needy. It makes it seem like it really bothered you that she cancelled when you should have just not given a shit and did nothing, that way you can continue to ignore her if you choose or you can try and rearrange in future if she shows interest.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-06-2012, 09:02 PM
Quote: (10-06-2012 06:06 AM)Sebastian Wrote:
how did you escalate at the gym??
Yeah, when I read that I imagined him dry humping her on the treadmill lol.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-07-2012, 12:36 AM
If you were meeting her at 8 there was no real need to cancel any plans. When this happens I usually don't give a shit and actually take heart in the fact that she took the time to send me a message instead of not showing up. I have actually been stood up and it feels a lot worse than a chick calling/texting and giving you an excuse.
I've never had this happen on a first date, but if it did I would just send her a message back saying to let me know when she was free later in the week. Pretty much if a woman stands me up on the first date (barring some emergency and picking up a sibling means she'll be late not she's not coming) then I feel no need to further pursue her. If we've known each other for a while I will just text back that I'm going to catch a movie, grab a drink with friends...and to let me know if she gets free that night.
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When a girl flakes on you at the last momment
10-07-2012, 01:12 AM
Man where are all the dudes here meeting 8.5s. Must be some kind of poosy paradise I don't know about.