[keepreal]

Hey, I have problems alienating myself from other people. I say whatever it is in my mind(unless it is really crazy or bad) and very egocentric, I don;t seem give a fuck what other people think about if it does not spark/relate my interest and keep talking about my interests.
I was never able to make too many friends and I don't get along with my family either(they complain about me, I complain about them). I was not too big on using cellphone for the most part(I have not had a cell for more half a year, during teen years I would never use it), probably should get a phone when I get some money. I say alot of random abnormal/inappropriate shit that makes people laugh, but it seems like they are laughing at me, not with me maybe. Like people would talking about school, I would bring up "how hot are slavic pussy." If people talk about hooking up, "I would ask do u fuck girls in the ass or shit like that", People would be talking religion, I would say,"if you had lift a building with bare hands and travel beyond faster than sound, wouldn't people think u are like godlike?"
I also went an academics focused school, people did not hang out with me too much, people were kind of nerdy. Damn, in some state school, I could of honed up asshole game maybe. When I studied abroad, I felt I fitted in better, people were more friendly.
I just want to do whatever I want.I seem to focus on all sorts of negative shit about this world all the time and hard to focus on the positive shit. I seem to naturally lack empathy towards other people , even family. I am maybe too goal-oriented about things I like . I am also complacent and lazy about things idon't care about. I am take things for granted and unappreciative especially to family.(hard to appreciate when they bitch and criticize about me all the time). I am not too outgoing either. I am friendly with people I like though and care about them to a certain extent. I might have hard time keeping a job being like this. I am like conceited too. I suck at lying, maybe i am ok with omitting the truth.
I view people as a whole fairly negatively(kind of misanthropic), especially bitches(although a part of me really like them) after reading Roosh, ROissy, and MRA stuff, maybe not a bad thing, I should distrust them. I am indifferent about a lot of possibly important(I mean what other people consider important) things.
how do I make friends with people and not sound weird and say offensive things out of and suck up to people I don't like? How do I care about what people think about when I don't have same interest or I don;t like them? How do I convince someone to care about me and get along, make connections, would not I have to lie and suck up to people, and do small talk? Being positive about certain things and sucking up is so hard for me. How do I care about more things in life in general?

[Cincinnatus]

Think before you speak. Really.

It's paradoxical that you claim to be "complacent and lazy," yet also "too goal-oriented." You also say that you are "indifferent about a lot of possibly important things." Either get off your ass and make things happen, or don't piss and moan when the world throws shit at you.

One last thing - you're not a special snowflake. Get over yourself. Sure, a certain sense of self-worth/ego is important when it comes to game, but you sound quite intolerable.

[keepreal]

(07-28-2012 12:12 PM)MSW2007 Wrote:  

Think before you speak. Really.

It's paradoxical that you claim to be "complacent and lazy," yet also "too goal-oriented." You also say that you are "indifferent about a lot of possibly important things." Either get off your ass and make things happen, or don't piss and moan when the world throws shit at you.

One last thing - you're not a special snowflake. Get over yourself. Sure, a certain sense of self-worth/ego is important when it comes to game, but you sound quite intolerable.

BTW, my ego is not so high when around people when I meet them esp hot girls, but when they know me, that is a different story.

I meant things i care about not too much work i am goal-oriented, but elsewhere I am complacent.
Need to cut the stubbornness and I am listening to people for achange

[WesternCancer]

This sounds like how I can be sometimes.

My advice for your situation

In terms of game:
You have to think of your interactions with women as a step towards a goal. You're approaching these chicks so you can get something out of them, they serve a purpose to you. Their friends also have a purpose. ie. if you want to bang the chick you have to get past her friends in one way or another (isolating, defeating the cockblock etc). Sure you would rather smash your head against the wall than talk to her, but you don't do that, you project a positive attitude and your want to bang her because that is what YOU want. You have to act in a way that helps you achieve your goals, when you catch yourself being negative etc ask yourself "would I rather sit here being a negative asshole or would I rather bang this chick every which way I see fit"

You can also use your lack of empathy to your advantage. You don't really care about the chick so any worry about 'her feelings' are out of the question. You can do whatever you want whenever you want without feelings of guilt. eg. last night I sent a mass text out to some stale numbers telling them to come to bar x (did I actually want to see these girls, no, I wanted to bang them) one of them who replied replied pretty late (3am) being 'mad' that I hadn't talked to her in so long and that I was just booty calling her. In my head I thought "uh duh why else would I talk to you" but I just agreed and told her we should catch up (do I want to hear about her lame ass job as a server, no, but I do want to hear her moaning as I fuck her hard). she told me to come over, but being as it was so late there were no buses available so that went south. Anyway do you see what I'm getting at here?

Before you go out to approach girls or talk to anyone in general set up a routine to get yourself in the right mood. I like to listen to some upbeat music, don't read anything that will make you think negatively (game/MRA blogs) you're just going to end up hating everything you see. Maybe I'll skim over some game 'theory' and read a few questions/lines in case I find myself stuck. I'll go to a store or get some food chatting up whoever serves me, chat up anyone on the bus even if its just a simple 'hi'.

As for making friends similar things go. Read day bang for some conversational skills. When I hang out with a group I have to stop myself from saying anything too extreme, just go with the flow make jokes here and there. Ask how everyone's been.

You have to realize too that friends serve a purpose, they can introduce you to hot chicks, get you places, help you out, give you ideas, wingman you. You get the picture. Just be friendly, ask them questions about themselves, go along with what they are saying. For example. Last night I started my night at a house party, I grabbed a beer and said "hey hows it going" to a guy I didn't know. We talked for about 20 minutes sometimes I just wanted to just walk away or tell him he was wrong about things, but instead I just talked to him about random shit, if he gave an opinion I'd agree and add a point, if I didn't like the topic I'd steer it in the other direction. Eventually some of his super cute friends showed up and we all talked as a group. They told me they were headed to a bar later and that I should come. I already had plans, but grabbed the dudes number and told him I'd shoot him a text if I was heading to the bar he and his cute friends were at. Had I just walked in, grabbed my beer and thought "this dude looks like an idiot" or something I would have never had gotten the invite to the bar with him and the cute friends he brought.

Also agreeing with someone or feigning interest in them is not sucking up it is just a tactic to get you closer to your end goal.

You should read the 48 laws of power.

[Moma]

Move to Canada, either you will change or you will become alienated (politely).

[keepreal]

(07-28-2012 12:38 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

This sounds like how I can be sometimes.

My advice for your situation

In terms of game:
You have to think of your interactions with women as a step towards a goal. You're approaching these chicks so you can get something out of them, they serve a purpose to you. Their friends also have a purpose. ie. if you want to bang the chick you have to get past her friends in one way or another (isolating, defeating the cockblock etc). Sure you would rather smash your head against the wall than talk to her, but you don't do that, you project a positive attitude and your want to bang her because that is what YOU want. You have to act in a way that helps you achieve your goals, when you catch yourself being negative etc ask yourself "would I rather sit here being a negative asshole or would I rather bang this chick every which way I see fit"

You can also use your lack of empathy to your advantage. You don't really care about the chick so any worry about 'her feelings' are out of the question. You can do whatever you want whenever you want without feelings of guilt. eg. last night I sent a mass text out to some stale numbers telling them to come to bar x (did I actually want to see these girls, no, I wanted to bang them) one of them who replied replied pretty late (3am) being 'mad' that I hadn't talked to her in so long and that I was just booty calling her. In my head I thought "uh duh why else would I talk to you" but I just agreed and told her we should catch up (do I want to hear about her lame ass job as a server, no, but I do want to hear her moaning as I fuck her hard). she told me to come over, but being as it was so late there were no buses available so that went south. Anyway do you see what I'm getting at here?

Before you go out to approach girls or talk to anyone in general set up a routine to get yourself in the right mood. I like to listen to some upbeat music, don't read anything that will make you think negatively (game/MRA blogs) you're just going to end up hating everything you see. Maybe I'll skim over some game 'theory' and read a few questions/lines in case I find myself stuck. I'll go to a store or get some food chatting up whoever serves me, chat up anyone on the bus even if its just a simple 'hi'.

As for making friends similar things go. Read day bang for some conversational skills. When I hang out with a group I have to stop myself from saying anything too extreme, just go with the flow make jokes here and there. Ask how everyone's been.

You have to realize too that friends serve a purpose, they can introduce you to hot chicks, get you places, help you out, give you ideas, wingman you. You get the picture. Just be friendly, ask them questions about themselves, go along with what they are saying. For example. Last night I started my night at a house party, I grabbed a beer and said "hey hows it going" to a guy I didn't know. We talked for about 20 minutes sometimes I just wanted to just walk away or tell him he was wrong about things, but instead I just talked to him about random shit, if he gave an opinion I'd agree and add a point, if I didn't like the topic I'd steer it in the other direction. Eventually some of his super cute friends showed up and we all talked as a group. They told me they were headed to a bar later and that I should come. I already had plans, but grabbed the dudes number and told him I'd shoot him a text if I was heading to the bar he and his cute friends were at. Had I just walked in, grabbed my beer and thought "this dude looks like an idiot" or something I would have never had gotten the invite to the bar with him and the cute friends he brought.

Also agreeing with someone or feigning interest in them is not sucking up it is just a tactic to get you closer to your end goal.

You should read the 48 laws of power.

What u say it is right. Being outgoing, I just need to focus on the positive and control the negative/crazy shit I say. Some shit I say must make me sound like a creep or eccentric freak. I do have some empathy with girls I like, but I should try to control that. I need to know to how make the right joke or comment. I often show some interest, then I try to direct the conversation to my interest, eventually every conversation people have is about me. I am like shy not so open when I meet people, but douchy after they started knowing me. Like when I meet people i am fairly nice asking people what are their interests and where they are from..., but after a while, I start getting comfortable and saying crazy shit, and shit start revolving around my topics.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(07-28-2012 12:02 PM)keepreal Wrote:  

I seem to naturally lack empathy towards other people , even family.
I view people as a whole fairly negatively(kind of misanthropic),
how do I make friends with people and not sound weird and say offensive things out of and suck up to people I don't like?
How do I care about what people think about when I don't have same interest or I don;t like them?
How do I convince someone to care about me and get along, make connections,

As a rule of thumb, 1% of the people of this world will like you enough to be friends, and 1% of the those acquaintances you will want to be friends with.

It's not about trying to be interested or having an interest in them. You end up with people that you vibe well with. You don't have to put in effort.

To find these friends, you have to shovel through the 99% of people who couldn't care less that you exist, and then shovel through the 99% of people you don't care about.

If you live in a big city, there are people who will like you for who you are, but you have to go find them.

Also, you tend to become like the people you surround yourself with. If you want to be a happy positive person, you must surround yourself with happy positive people.

To find these people:
1) Go out to a public place
2) Identify a stranger who seems like an interesting person
3) Approach stranger
4) Have conversation. Run GALNUC from day bang or my WNDHC as part of the conversation.
5) Get stranger's number,
6) Meet stranger again. You've made an acquaintance.
7) Now go meet someone else. Go back to Step 1.

If you can approach 3 strangers a week purely to find interesting new friends, in a few weeks you will have a social circle and in a few months you won't have time for all the people who want to hang out with you, assuming you're in a big city. You can then tailor your social circle to reflect the qualities you want in yourself, by picking and choosing people who most represent what you want to be, and deliberately hanging out with them.

It's a numbers game. Go play it.

[keepreal]

How about family and annoying people u have to live with? Getting on their good side is hard, they are always pissed about something, even when u do something nice, they still want more or have something else to complain.
I would not say I am arrogant or super confident, but self-centered.

[xsplat]

I like the combination of keepreel, western cancer and the rhymers advice; Think before you speak, know what your goal is and use it as your motivation to be social, and screen for quality friends.

I'm like you in that I often have little to no interest in people, and just say what's on my mind. Even on forums I can be short tempered and get off on being arrogant and full of myself, as if it's an art form. That's where keepreels and w.c.'s advice comes in. With a little forethought it's possible to edit yourself, and say things with the reaction that you want to get from your audience in mind. For some of us this takes a little extra work, especially at first. Seems to get easier and more natural over time. Social graces are often a decision.

I've started to notice that the persona that I cultivate is nothing but that. It's a habit, but it's flexible and depends on my choices. That seems to be a theme of this forum - making huge personality changes by choice.

To that end knowing what your goal is seems important; I wouldn't want to make the same choices as what I imagine some are doing; deliberately losing the full adult range of emotions in favour of being Mr. Spock with a boner.

On that same topic of cultivating who I am through habits, I'm realizing a need for more balance in my activities. Going out to buy a guitar and keyboard today (even though I can't play), and trying to round out my activities, with ping pong, meditations, going out a bit. Can't just exercise that inner voice all day long.

I swear a little pot from time to time can be a good thing; shakes a guy out of his habits.

[Adam Michaels]

I was reading your thread and I know EXACTLY how you feel, my brother and I are exactly the same way.

It took a bunch of years and time but I eventually realized that we are of the Dark Triad

Check out that link. The traits are Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.

Haha i know it sounds crazy, and I was shocked when I intially did research, but then I realized its not a "disorder". I have the same traits as you, but I have just leveraged them to my advantage.

Me? Since i was a child I never had respect for authority, thought extremely high of myself, had no empathy for others, never understood why I had to respect people just because they were "older", would always get in trouble for telling people the truth they didnt want to hear, ect.

While it did get me in trouble when I was younger, and it still does some today, but now that I did research and understand that about me, life is much easier. Basically I always have a front up when I deal with people. My "game" is to the point where people think I am just like them.

Yes, if you want to fit in, your gonna have to use "game" on everyone, guy and girl. Im not saying game as in pick up, but more game as in having good charisma and being likeable. Its really not much different. Or keep being yourself and not getting along with anyone.

If you want a good example, watch the show Dexter on showtime. It can be eyeopening.

And the Dark Triad really isnt all that bad. James Bond is said to be the best example. He has no feelings, only does what he wants, works hard for his goals but is lazy towards doing things he doesnt want to do, extremely confident, ect.

Check this article too. Its about how most women love these type of men
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scienc...50007.html

Women love guys with the dark triad, you said you read alot of roosh and roissy so you should be familiar with the traits. Guys with the dark triad are extremely "alpha" as they dont care about what other people think, do everything in their best interest, never supplicate, extrememly confident, ect. Thats how girls have described me since I was in elementary school and things have always gone well with the women. Obviously I wasnt running "game" back then, its just who I am at my core.

The only time I had trouble was when I started listening to family, friends, and teachers telling me to "care more about what girls say, be nicer to girls, dont be so cocky" ect, basically them trying to make me act "beta".

But as we all know, if you wanna survive in todays "western feminist world" your gonna have to act "beta" and be nice to everyone or you gonna have trouble at school, at work, and making friends.

[keepreal]

(07-29-2012 05:31 AM)Adam Michaels Wrote:  

I was reading your thread and I know EXACTLY how you feel, my brother and I are exactly the same way.

It took a bunch of years and time but I eventually realized that we are of the Dark Triad

Check out that link. The traits are Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.

Haha i know it sounds crazy, and I was shocked when I intially did research, but then I realized its not a "disorder". I have the same traits as you, but I have just leveraged them to my advantage.

Me? Since i was a child I never had respect for authority, thought extremely high of myself, had no empathy for others, never understood why I had to respect people just because they were "older", would always get in trouble for telling people the truth they didnt want to hear, ect.


Hey I went online, found okcupid had a dark triad test, i got You scored 76Machiavellianism, 68 Narcissism, 65 Psychopathy!

While it did get me in trouble when I was younger, and it still does some today, but now that I did research and understand that about me, life is much easier. Basically I always have a front up when I deal with people. My "game" is to the point where people think I am just like them.

Yes, if you want to fit in, your gonna have to use "game" on everyone, guy and girl. Im not saying game as in pick up, but more game as in having good charisma and being likeable. Its really not much different. Or keep being yourself and not getting along with anyone.

If you want a good example, watch the show Dexter on showtime. It can be eyeopening.

And the Dark Triad really isnt all that bad. James Bond is said to be the best example. He has no feelings, only does what he wants, works hard for his goals but is lazy towards doing things he doesnt want to do, extremely confident, ect.

Check this article too. Its about how most women love these type of men
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scienc...50007.html

Women love guys with the dark triad, you said you read alot of roosh and roissy so you should be familiar with the traits. Guys with the dark triad are extremely "alpha" as they dont care about what other people think, do everything in their best interest, never supplicate, extrememly confident, ect. Thats how girls have described me since I was in elementary school and things have always gone well with the women. Obviously I wasnt running "game" back then, its just who I am at my core.

The only time I had trouble was when I started listening to family, friends, and teachers telling me to "care more about what girls say, be nicer to girls, dont be so cocky" ect, basically them trying to make me act "beta".

But as we all know, if you wanna survive in todays "western feminist world" your gonna have to act "beta" and be nice to everyone or you gonna have trouble at school, at work, and making friends.

I would not say I think super highly of myself, but I will not listen to someone simply because they have authority or older, unless u have to give a fucking reason to do so. I fucking hate someone telling what to do, simply because you are my dad or ur are older, some BS. I would not say I am really impulsive like DT, but I keep anger, sexual desire and hate under wrap. I am don't deceive though maybe except little omitting at times, I just take what I want and be upfront about when they ask me. I am distrust people, but I'm still gullible and tricked.
If I was more outgoing, I probably would look more confident, but I often quiet/shy and fairly with stranger, but straight to the point with friends and family. I need to do a little reversal, be care about more about family and being more open but nice with stranger.

I'm listening to my step-dad being nice and try to help more with the family I live now , I have to now doing shit with them and try to get boring things done properly, and connect with my family.
Took the dark triad, test on okcupid found it while searching for dark triad. You scored 76Machiavellianism, 68 Narcissism, 65 Psychopathy! all way above the norm.Machiavellianism

25% is roughly normal range.
60% of more is the level for a personality disorder.

Narcissism

25% is roughly normal range.
60% or more is the level for a personality disorder.

Psychopathy

20% is roughly normal range.
Non-psychopathic compulsive criminals range between 45% and 55%.
If you have a score of 75% or more, it's more than likely that you are a psychopath.

[el mechanico]

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

[keepreal]

(07-29-2012 09:51 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

No, just fucking unemployed and recently finished with college. Got no where to go. Trying to get a job abroad, technically I'm already abroad, just want be in FCS(former communist states). Maybe I work for dad, then get some money for abroad.

[el mechanico]

(07-29-2012 10:16 AM)keepreal Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 09:51 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

No, just fucking unemployed and recently finished with college. Got no where to go.

So you stay with your parents and they're getting on your nerves?

[Adam Michaels]

(07-29-2012 10:17 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 10:16 AM)keepreal Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 09:51 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

No, just fucking unemployed and recently finished with college. Got no where to go.

So you stay with your parents and they're getting on your nerves?

Im excited to see how this one plays out.

[michelin]

Western Cancer gives good advice here. I was sitting in the tube the other day and missed what could have been a good conversation with a dude an a (pretty hot) girl, who were friends and about to go out. Their conversation topic was perfect for me, as it was about the same sports I love to practice. They went out at a place full of bars, so maybe I could have joined in and know some of their friends, or even pull the hotter girl if that dude was just her friend...

Conclusion: Don't miss any opportunity to be outgoing and work that inner game

[Hades]

Nevermind. You live at home. Nothing is going to help until you move.

[Cincinnatus]

(07-29-2012 11:17 AM)Adam Michaels Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 10:17 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 10:16 AM)keepreal Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 09:51 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

No, just fucking unemployed and recently finished with college. Got no where to go.

So you stay with your parents and they're getting on your nerves?

Im excited to see how this one plays out.

[keepreal]

(07-29-2012 10:17 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 10:16 AM)keepreal Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 09:51 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Let me guess you're a teenager that lives with your parents right?

No, just fucking unemployed and recently finished with college. Got no where to go.

So you stay with your parents and they're getting on your nerves?

Yep, well, both get on each other's nerves. but it's getting better

[Screwston]

I would just think before I say something and get it through your head that life is to short so you should try to enjoy it and smile more.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(07-31-2012 01:04 AM)houston Wrote:  

I would just think before I say something and get it through your head that life is to short so you should try to enjoy it and smile more.

This is true. If you love life and are having a good time, you are less inclined to be cruel for the sake of being cruel. Plus, even when you are an asshole, people will forgive you for it if you're exuding enough positive energy.

[amity]

some really good advice here
it's f&ckin true man
last friday i went out with my housemate, was pretty f&cked after a long day at work and wasn't feeling so positive, but i ploughed through the lethargy and tried to be social and graudaally i got into the vibe and met a cute girl later in the night - had i just wallowed in my lazyassedness and stayed in, it would've been a pretty boring night

i've also found that with 99% of people in social (going out) situations, you really gotta keep the conversation light, even if it feels insincere at times, 95% of people are not gonna thank for talking about some heavy serious sh1t

[Ramon Zarate]

(07-28-2012 12:02 PM)keepreal Wrote:  

I view people as a whole fairly negatively(kind of misanthropic), especially bitches(although a part of me really like them) after reading Roosh, ROissy, and MRA stuff, maybe not a bad thing, I should distrust them. I am indifferent about a lot of possibly important(I mean what other people consider important) things.
how do I make friends with people and not sound weird and say offensive things out of and suck up to people I don't like? How do I care about what people think about when I don't have same interest or I don;t like them? How do I convince someone to care about me and get along, make connections, would not I have to lie and suck up to people, and do small talk? Being positive about certain things and sucking up is so hard for me. How do I care about more things in life in general?

What helped me was to assume the best in people.

[jroseland]

"Here's how I see the nice guy dynamic in attraction. You can be a nice guy as long as you are doing enough other things to be an attractive man..."
Lifehack: How to be a 'nice guy' but get laid like a Asshole

[General Butt Naked]

(07-29-2012 05:31 AM)Adam Michaels Wrote:  

I was reading your thread and I know EXACTLY how you feel, my brother and I are exactly the same way.

It took a bunch of years and time but I eventually realized that we are of the Dark Triad

Check out that link. The traits are Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.

Haha i know it sounds crazy, and I was shocked when I intially did research, but then I realized its not a "disorder". I have the same traits as you, but I have just leveraged them to my advantage.

Me? Since i was a child I never had respect for authority, thought extremely high of myself, had no empathy for others, never understood why I had to respect people just because they were "older", would always get in trouble for telling people the truth they didnt want to hear, ect.

While it did get me in trouble when I was younger, and it still does some today, but now that I did research and understand that about me, life is much easier. Basically I always have a front up when I deal with people. My "game" is to the point where people think I am just like them.

Yes, if you want to fit in, your gonna have to use "game" on everyone, guy and girl. Im not saying game as in pick up, but more game as in having good charisma and being likeable. Its really not much different. Or keep being yourself and not getting along with anyone.

If you want a good example, watch the show Dexter on showtime. It can be eyeopening.

And the Dark Triad really isnt all that bad. James Bond is said to be the best example. He has no feelings, only does what he wants, works hard for his goals but is lazy towards doing things he doesnt want to do, extremely confident, ect.

Check this article too. Its about how most women love these type of men
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scienc...50007.html

Women love guys with the dark triad, you said you read alot of roosh and roissy so you should be familiar with the traits. Guys with the dark triad are extremely "alpha" as they dont care about what other people think, do everything in their best interest, never supplicate, extrememly confident, ect. Thats how girls have described me since I was in elementary school and things have always gone well with the women. Obviously I wasnt running "game" back then, its just who I am at my core.

The only time I had trouble was when I started listening to family, friends, and teachers telling me to "care more about what girls say, be nicer to girls, dont be so cocky" ect, basically them trying to make me act "beta".

But as we all know, if you wanna survive in todays "western feminist world" your gonna have to act "beta" and be nice to everyone or you gonna have trouble at school, at work, and making friends.

@adammichaels thanks for dropping this term; i was previously unfamiliar with it, but it paints a perfect picture of me.

i've been battling with the idea of narcissism lately as i have had a number of people refer to me as a narcissist as of late. when a word with such a negative connotation is thrown at you, your first instinct is to resist it. the more i think about my nature and how i handle interpersonal interactions the more i feel my narcissistic tendencies ooze out of every orifice on my body.

the notion that i am a self centered, egotistical narcissist has been pacing back in forth in my mind when i interact with someone. i'm conscious of my words and desired outcome of the interaction.

i shouldn't let it bother me though, people are usually blown away by my presence (even saying that makes me feel like a dick, but it's true).

generally, i just want people to like me.
i want to understand them before i allow myself to be understood.

spending the past 5 years consuming self-help material has turned me into a hyper-aware individual in which i always know whats going on around me. i'm very sharp and reliable.

i look in the mirror a lot to, often admiring myself.
i receive a lot of vocal validation for my unique nature and my good looks.
looking in reflective objects is one habit i'm working on eliminating.

last thursday, i had a date scheduled with a girl i've been seeing a bit this past month (slept with her a few times) and i fell asleep when i got home from work and didn't wake up till midnight. i woke up to a few texts and missed calls from her so i called her back as soon as i woke up to tell her what had happened. as the phone conversation went along, she began fishing for an apology from me. unfortunately for her, i legitimately did not feel sorry for blowing her off so i could not bring myself to spit out the words 'i'm sorry'. i don't like being insincere or saying things i don't truly mean, so because i didn't feel it, i could not apologize even though it was the right thing to do. i stood her up and that's fucked up. she had planned her night accordingly and was excited to see me.

^^ prime example of my narcissism and lack of empathy at times.
however, i am an empathetic person most of the time and approach most days with a high level of compassion. at the end of the day i'm out for whats mine.

hopefully some of this is helpful for you OP.