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The Approach Thread
09-18-2012, 08:13 PM
I was in Wholefoods today. I was in the freezer section when this CRAZY-SEXY Filipina chick came down the aisle in her form-fitting workout gear--very short shorts included. She was a few freezer doors down. I walked over to the door immediately next to hers then opened the door long enough for it to fog up. So I closed it & re-opened it to get that good, thick condensation. I drew a tic tac toe sign on the door and drew an "X".
I turned to her & said, "Hey." When she looked up, I had the sinister-grin-with-squinty-eyes look on my face. I nodded my head toward the door, gesturing to her to make her move. She laughed, and without saying a word, she drew her "O".
She smiled the whole time we played. Of course it ended in a tie.
She started laughing then said, "I guess we're evenly matched."
Then I said, "That's too bad. I was testing you. I only seduce girls who can beat me at tic tac toe. Guess who just lost out."
She laughed, touched my hand, then said, "Uh, it's pretty obvious who's losing out...you are."
"That's strike two, sexy lady. I can't believe you got that answer wrong. I'm trying my best to add some fun & adventure to your life and you're blowing it." As she laughed, I continued, "For future reference, you are the one losing out if I don't sweep you off your feet."
By now, she's really laughing hard. She said, "You are so crazy...and full of yourself. What's your name anyway?"
"That's the wrong sequence. You're supposed to say, 'My name is...'and then I'll say, 'Good to meet you. My name is...' So take a deep breath, shake it off, get back into the right mind-state, and let's start over...the right way this time."
So of course she's laughing and unconsciously touching my forearm. She closed her eyes, being silly as if she's taking deep breaths to get ready. She couldn't keep a straight face while doing this. Then she started shaking her arms as if to "shake it off."
I said, "You ready?"
"I'm ready."
"You sure."
"I'm sure."
"Ok, let's do it...right this time."
"Ok...my name is..." then she burst into laughter. She said," Ok, ok, I'm ready."
"I hope so."
"I'm ready. My name is Lailani," as she put her hand out for a handshake.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Lailani. My name is Mon, and since you diminished the impact of this introduction by getting it wrong the first time, you gotta make up for it by doing better than a handshake." I leaned forward, turned my face to the side, and touched my my cheek, gesturing for a kiss on the cheek.
She said, "Oh my god Mr. Mon, you are so demanding."
"Yeah, I know, it only gets worse."
"I'm sure it does."
Then she kissed my cheek and said, "Did I do that right, or do I have to re-do that again?"
I laughed and said, "Listen at you trying to con me into multiple kisses. You gotta at least buy a brother a meal first...or something."
She laughed and of course, touched my arm and said, "Oh my god, you are too much. How does your girfriend put up with you?"
"My girlfriends--as in more than one--deal with me happily. How else would they deal with me?"
"Girlfriends? Ok Mr. Mon, is your last name Hefner?"
"No, not since the adoption."
She laughs hysterically, then I said, "I'm still not sure if my strategy is to make you mine, or long pause) just a friend."
She had an ear-to-ear grin on her face and said, "Really? And why is that?" "
I said, "You seem cool and you're definitely my physical type, but you seem like the type of girl who will only bring your ugly girlfriends around to make sure I don't try something with them. I can't stand girls who do that. Bring your sexy friends around so we can have some real fun...that's my philosophy."
She's laughing and said, "Oh my god, you are too much."
"I'm much more than that. But listen, I really gotta get outta here. I was in a rush but wasn't gonna miss out on meeting someone as tiny & sexy as yourself. I would love to continue this some conversation other time. How do you suggest we do that?"
She pulled out her iPhone and said, "What's your number?" I gave it to her then she said, "You have an email address?"
After I gave her the number & email she asked, "So is it spelled how it sounds--M,O,N?"
I said give me your phone; I'll put my name in. She gave it to me and I saved it as "Future Ex-Boyfriend."
Then I called my number from her phone. I gave her her phone back and called her. "When she saw "Future Ex-Boyfriend," she started laughing really hard. Then she said, "Oh my god, you are gonna be a handful."
I grabbed her hands and started looking at them like I'm examining them, then I said, "With these tiny hands, I think I'm more than a handful. You'll definitely have to use them both."
Again...hysterical laughter. Then she said, "Well, maybe we'll see."
"No doubt. So I'm outta here." Then I held my arms out in the "gimme a hug posture." She hugged me and slid her hands from my shoulders to the bottom of my back. By now, my dick was on DINOSAUR and I made sure she felt it by pulling her in...pelvis-to-pelvis.
When we released the hug, she looked at me smiling. She bit her bottom lip, looked at her hands and said, "Definitely both hands." Then we both laughed for about a full minute.
I said, "I'm outta here Lailani. Call me."
"I sure will."
About five minutes after I left, I got a text from her saying, "But what if I all I have is ugly friends."
Ten minutes later I sent back, "You need to get out & get social NOW, because tha's unacceptable. Our future depends on it."
She sent back, "LMAO!!!"