[soup]

In an ideal place where we are all rockstars, this doesn't come up.
But, for those of us who aren't Ultra-Macs yet, this tends to pop up often (in my experience at least).

At first, when "My Ex-boyf blah blah" would come up, I'd think "Ok, it's over," because anytime those words were uttered, I never got to see her utters.

But, it comes up so often, I now have a hunch that it is a conscious shit test.

Like tonight.

I was walking on the street and "day"-gamed a girl with an elderly opener- "Do you know what time it is?

She pulled out her iphone, so I went into my iphone ramble.

She wasn't the best beauty in the barn, but eventually, she started dropping bait on me like: "when I was in France blah blah"

I suggested that we walk together, and when we got to her block, I asked if I could use her bathroom.

She said: "Ok, but just so you know, I live with four girls."

YESSSSSS

We get upstairs, I actually use the bathroom, and we start chatting. She shares a room with another girl.

The front door opens, and, lo and behold, it's a much hotter girl- the roommate.

Body language hints from the roommate that she's attracted to me, or is at the very least, jealous or curious as to who the mysterious (she got a little "scared" when she first saw me) stranger is with her less attractive friend.

I talk with both of them, and soon after the hot girl mentions her ex.

------

I think the timing of the response to this is crucial, because if you have to think about what to say, it means she's ahead of you.

So, I need a go-to/guick response for when a girl mentions the ex.
My sense is that the thing that shuts it down also opens her up.

[AntiTrace]

Maybe she is mentioning her ex to display she is single? Especially since you said she had already given you positive body language? Ignore it and continue whatever thread you were talking about I guess. That or comment on how the single life has it benefits.

Id be interested in what some guys on here have done in this situation as well.

But props on getting invited into the house from a daygame cold approach. Well played.

[tomtud]

Not sure if you read the 48 laws of power, but this reminds me of a chapter of mirroring her. What I mean is that you bring up your ex "stripper" or "model" girlfriend who did something ( fill in blank) that trumps her ex boyfriend story.

Or, just ignore hr story and talk about something else without a validation response.

[soup]

(03-16-2012 12:44 PM)tomtud Wrote:  

Not sure if you read the 48 laws of power, but this reminds me of a chapter of mirroring her. What I mean is that you bring up your ex "stripper" or "model" girlfriend who did something ( fill in blank) that trumps her ex boyfriend story.

Or, just ignore hr story and talk about something else without a validation response.

Yeah, but it looks but to reactionary if you respond by talking about your ex immediately after.

The thing I'm looking for has to change the subject or flip the script and also has to add to my value. Bringing up the ex-boyfriend is a crossroads point. Ideally, it shouldn't come up. I usually just change the subject immediately. I have not yet been able to recover from a post-bringing up the ex-boyf moment.

[AntiTrace]

Why dont you post a typical conversation in which the ex is an issue. Is it coming up completely out of the blue, or is it a a natural response to given line of conversation?

[Timoteo]

I think you take note of when a chick drops a reference to her ex, but I don't see that you need to specifically respond to or address it in any specific way. All she did was tell you I'M SINGLE. She gave you a green light. You address this by trying to game and fuck her like any other chick. If you've noticed, chicks also have a way of dropping references to their boyfriends in conversation, if she has one. You treat that exactly the same way. Ignoring it, and keep pushing on. Either way, she's going to decide if she want to give you some or not.

[snoop]

(03-16-2012 01:27 PM)soup Wrote:  

(03-16-2012 12:44 PM)tomtud Wrote:  

Not sure if you read the 48 laws of power, but this reminds me of a chapter of mirroring her. What I mean is that you bring up your ex "stripper" or "model" girlfriend who did something ( fill in blank) that trumps her ex boyfriend story.

Or, just ignore hr story and talk about something else without a validation response.

Yeah, but it looks but to reactionary if you respond by talking about your ex immediately after.

The thing I'm looking for has to change the subject or flip the script and also has to add to my value. Bringing up the ex-boyfriend is a crossroads point. Ideally, it shouldn't come up. I usually just change the subject immediately. I have not yet been able to recover from a post-bringing up the ex-boyf moment.

How about asking why he is her ex? Then based on the answer she gives, frame yourself as different from him.

[germanico]

Boyfriend, exboyfriend, doesn't matters.

Just act as if she had said nothing. Move on, no need to get stuck at everything she says.

[soup]

(03-16-2012 05:34 PM)germanico Wrote:  

Boyfriend, exboyfriend, doesn't matters.

Just act as if she had said nothing. Move on, no need to get stuck at everything she says.

I usually do just move on, but I've noticed that I've never been able to get the bang after the ex comes up.

I was able to find my original thread on this topic (Sorry for the dupe):
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-5810.html

There were a lot of good strategies proposed, but I'd be curious to know if anyone else has actually had it come up and what you said or did thereafter that lead to success.

Samseau said: "The rule is: If she talks about her ex-boyfriend before you've done anything sexual with her, such as kiss her, then you're wasting your time. If she brings it up after you've done something sexual, treat it like a shit-test of sorts and change topic."

That sounds pretty good, but it would be great to have a strategy for dealing with it when it comes up, like the anti-LMR strategies.

Antitrace- Yes, it seems to come out of the blue.

[WesternCancer]

I had this come up today, well kind of. This girl I was out with was being all flirty, then was like "this guy im kind of seeing" and immediately started blushing after I just changed the topic.

We met at the campus bar when I went there with a girl I'm in the process of banging. The girl I brought there kept going off and seeing friends and then told me she had to go to do homework. In the mean time I'm gaming the new girl. We instadate to this other place and my original girl looks at me funny. The new girl asks right in front of her if we're dating (does banging count?) and is saying I like her etc. I just ignored her, didn't really know how to deflect it in front of a group/the actual girl. Anyways she kept asking a few times throughout the night. Weesh. I got her number, but she seems kind of lame. I'd bang though, but shes a hippie chick.

[Gmac]

Girls bring up exes because betas IMMEDIATELY come to their defense. It's an easy way to screen out needy guys by gauging your reaction. Classic shit test.

[Samseau]

(03-16-2012 06:01 PM)soup Wrote:  

Samseau said: "The rule is: If she talks about her ex-boyfriend before you've done anything sexual with her, such as kiss her, then you're wasting your time. If she brings it up after you've done something sexual, treat it like a shit-test of sorts and change topic."

If a girl brings up her ex, the best solution is to say "Oh." and change subject.

However, if the girl is bringing up her ex before you've banged, the chances are you'll never bang. Why? Because she's still hung over her ex. She's talking about him, like you don't exist, because all she wants is her ex.

In that thread, MiXX said he'd just leave the girl pronto if a girl brought up her ex, and he's right to a degree - don't waste your time on girls who bring up their ex less than 1 hour into your date. Not only is it incredibly disrespectful, but they aren't over their last boyfriend.


If you've banged her, and she brings up her history, it's nothing serious.

[johnw28]

I've found it is more often than not a shit test. Ignore it and move on or change the subject. If they bring up their ex sometimes it also means they want to to over him by getting under another guy. That was the case with my last bang. However, by the time I ragged her out I think she was ready to return to him.

[Basil Ransom]

Honestly, I'm used to girls mentioning their ex, so I don't really notice how early on they mention him.

I haven't noticed a strong trend of chicks mentioning ex's and then not putting out. Easiest way to filter out the girls who aren't DTF is just to isolate and escalate.

It depends a lot on how tangential the reference is. If you say, "I like football" and she blurts out "my ex loves football too!" And it happened early on. That's a big red flag. Still, if all other signs were a go, I'd just revert to normal, maybe step up the isolate and escalate timetable just to smoke out the teases.

Quote:

However, if the girl is bringing up her ex before you've banged, the chances are you'll never bang. Why? Because she's still hung over her ex. She's talking about him, like you don't exist, because all she wants is her ex.

I banged a girl last night, who I believe mentioned her ex before I made out with her, and definitely before I banged her. It wasn't a gratuitous or out-of-the-blue reference. I tried to avoid asking questions about him, but if the conversation comes up, whatever. Conversations about past relationships are pretty common.

Something you do have to look out for is the chick who is going on dates who wants a boyfriend, but isn't actually into you. She likes the idea of going on dates, and she feels like its progress towards getting a boyfriend, but she won't spread 'em for you because she's not actually into you. This happened to me several months ago, with two pretty cute, feminine girls. I thought they might just be prude, and they never even mentioned their exes, though they did both mention having a one-night stand in their past and not enjoying it. With both of them, they always seemed very polite and cordial, but closed-off, sort of like you were talking to a public relations flack.

[Christian McQueen]

If she mentions her 'ex bf', then ignore and proceed to swoop. If she rejects than eject her ass fast. Out of my extensive experience, girls who mention their ex are ONLY GOOD FOR FUCKING, period and they're definitely not over their ex. In fact she may want to fuck to see if she is really over him yet. Don't waste time on dates etc. This is one of the reasons I use a direct form of game.