[mental]

So far the tools in this thread have been mostly for rooted phones, but for those of you who can't or won't root but still want player lifestyle security, there's a great free secret voice recorder app which can record in background (including when the screen's off). Just add a widget to your home screen and press it, this will be your on/off buton for recording. You can:

- select which icons and text to appear when not recording (you can even make them transparent so no one will see any icons or notifications),
- record when you receive a certain SMS,
- schedule when to record,
- how long to record if you forget to turn it off
- password-protect the recordings so no-one can find them
- select limit in megabytes so it doesn't take up your whole storage (just make sure to select which ones should be kept by opening the app, long-pressing which recordings should be kept and selecting save permanently so they don't get deleted when the limit is reached)
etc...

The only difference between paid and free versions is the 60-minute limit per recording, use google if you need the full version

Here's an example on my phone:

Not recording



Recording



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Before attempting the methods below, install Framaroot and try all the methods (make sure to select SuperSU, not Superuser) - this is 100% safe, if it doesn't work nothing will happen and that's it - this CAN'T brick your phone.
If you aren't lucky with Framaroot, first go to settings->developer options and make sure USB Debugging is ticked and connect it to your PC using a normal USB cable (if problems with drivers on your PC appear then download drivers for your phone or use this universal ADB installer; if there aren't any developer options at all, go to settings->about phone and tap the build number constantly until a notification appears that you've unlocked the developer options) - after all that's done you'll have to root manually using these new root methods - these are supposedly "safe" (by safe, I mean they shouldn't reset your phone to factory settings, except the special mode, which will reset your phone but the probability is high the rollback feature will restore your phone so you wouldn't notice it was reset), but use common sense and create a backup of your contacts, SMS's and internal memory anyway.
If those two methods didn't work, and you have a Samsung, LG or Nexus, go here - phones that have "Odin" (all Samsung androids and some Nexuses) will NOT be wiped (if your bootloader is locked, like Nexuses, you MUST unlock your bootloader, otherwise it will probably brick your device; unlocking the bootloader WILL reset your phone and void your warranty unless you re-lock it - blame the manufacturers for locking the bootloader) - I have personally used this method on my Galaxy S3 and it works 100% without touching anything. "Fastboot" phones are hit-and-miss - the method WILL work, but make sure to read if it will reset or not.
If you get stuck, and you've TRIED all the methods (first framaroot since it's 100% safe, then these two methods, or something went wrong), shoot me a PM - I may be able to help you.
Finally, make sure to read the two links above carefully - if you follow the instructions carefully there's absolutely no chance of something going wrong.