READ THIS please first. Is this a "fuck yes?" Its not even a hellyes, it seems like a "no, but i'm scared to make the move"
Fuck yes or no is a great philosophy for decisions but esp with kids, it needs to be a fuck yes, which clearly you aren't even at a maybe, I don't really know you but based on what I read I think having kids with this girl will be a disaster for you both.
Also in response to some people here saying its a "shit test" i mean come on, ok say you somehow convince her to stay with you and not get married and have kids, she'll be miserable, and so will you. Terrible scenario even if your "keeping the frame" or whatever lame PUA term manages to work in keeping her around.
Sounds like you already made your decision but are being too chicken to pull the trigger .
You don't want kids, esp with her. You don't want to get married. You don't like the cultural aspect of marrying her family. Doesn't even sound like your in love with her anymore.
I know how it is I recently had to end an 8 year relationship with my biz partner and I spent many months doing this same agonizing back and forth thinking in my head when it was obvious it was the right decision.
Yes you took her prime years away but trust me in the thirsty ass USA she will find no problem finding another american dude to knock her up ASAP after you break up with her. You'll actually being doing both of yourselves a favor. Plus being early 30s male is not same as early 30s female. Though not ideal you can choose to have kids in your late 30s or even early 40s, she can't.
So you already wasted enough of her time already, and your not happy in the relationship clearly.
Breaking up is never easy, but when the time comes it rarely plays out as bad as the scenarios you had in your head. Good luck!
Fuck yes or no is a great philosophy for decisions but esp with kids, it needs to be a fuck yes, which clearly you aren't even at a maybe, I don't really know you but based on what I read I think having kids with this girl will be a disaster for you both.
Also in response to some people here saying its a "shit test" i mean come on, ok say you somehow convince her to stay with you and not get married and have kids, she'll be miserable, and so will you. Terrible scenario even if your "keeping the frame" or whatever lame PUA term manages to work in keeping her around.
Sounds like you already made your decision but are being too chicken to pull the trigger .
You don't want kids, esp with her. You don't want to get married. You don't like the cultural aspect of marrying her family. Doesn't even sound like your in love with her anymore.
I know how it is I recently had to end an 8 year relationship with my biz partner and I spent many months doing this same agonizing back and forth thinking in my head when it was obvious it was the right decision.
Yes you took her prime years away but trust me in the thirsty ass USA she will find no problem finding another american dude to knock her up ASAP after you break up with her. You'll actually being doing both of yourselves a favor. Plus being early 30s male is not same as early 30s female. Though not ideal you can choose to have kids in your late 30s or even early 40s, she can't.
So you already wasted enough of her time already, and your not happy in the relationship clearly.
Breaking up is never easy, but when the time comes it rarely plays out as bad as the scenarios you had in your head. Good luck!