[Captain Gh]

(03-31-2019 04:38 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

snip

It's now official: Beer is the new Cardguy!!! Stuck Stuck Stuck in the Past at such a point that I'm starting to be at a lost for words!

[a beer is enough]

(03-31-2019 06:36 PM)Graft Wrote:  

In terms of the sheer quantity of open minded people that you meet combined with constant planned events with hot girls in their prime, college Greek life or high school will be the absolute apex of your social life.

Hurts to know Graft because the social aspect of it is what I missed out on and really want now. Even the pussy and casual sex is not keeping me happy as much as trying to have a special kind of social life after college, something I dreamed about when I was miserable in college. That is life though and I guess you cannot have it all. This will likely turn into a five stages of dying approach for me even though the situation is far less severe, at some point I'll hit the acceptance stage and just move on from it.

PapayaTapper is right, I could see myself losing a lot of my hair if I mentally go on like this so I know I need to work on my mindset. I have seen the truth for what it is and I know there is something beautiful out there.

Comparison is the thief of joy and I know if I compare whatever I have now to what people who peaked in college had, I will never be happy and I will always be miserable regardless of my success. After a certain point, a man has to act and take constant action so he can eventually get somewhere.

NYC is brought new energy into me without a doubt, an energy I did not have in the old city I was in, there is surely an opportunity to have amazing experiences here. At times I feel like social opportunities are more accessible here and I have been repelling some of them due to remnants of my toxic mindset. So I look at guys such as DistantLight whose posts I found that led me to this forum and others who have managed to have social circle success and aim for that.

Sure the social experiences of guys like Distant Light and Dan Bilzerian fall short compared to a top tier fraternity guy or athlete at Arizona St in terms of how fulfilling and enjoyable they are along with the remarkable social opportunities present (tons of people around your own age who want the same thing) but they are still way better than most will get to experience. Sometimes, all you can do is give it all you have and see what that brings and be satisfied with it. An awesome social experience is awesome regardless and I am starting to think college might not be mandatory for it.

Society and media might be right in saying nothing can beat peaking in college, at least not socially, but I refuse to believe that life afterwards has to be a socially isolating hell if you don't get married, I believe there are still amazing social opportunities present although they might not be as cool as college. Hopefully other guys who peak later do not fall victim to the programming like I did.

As a final conclusion to this post, for all guys going through the similar things I went through mentally, give this quote a read, it is powerful.

[RDF]

The most amazing thing about our society today is that we have choices. If you want to settle down and have kids, you can move to the suburbs or to a small town in the countryside. If you want to party with your friends and slay pussy until you're in your 40s or later, you can move to NYC, LA, Miami, or other places.

Keep in mind that this is a recent phenomenon, at least in the US. "Casual dating/sex" in the way that we think about today didn't really exist except in the fringes until the 1920s, and really only took off in the 60s. Until then, dating was essentially courting for marriage, and besides having a mistress or visiting a brothel, men weren't fucking other women once they got married (which happened at age 25 or less on average), and definitely weren't out drinking with their friends at bars/nightclubs and chasing tail. Nowadays we literally have phone apps where you can message a girl and have her come over to fuck within an hour.

There is an incentive for society to push people to get married and have kids, but this makes perfect sense. Imagine for a second that every single man out there thought along the line of "fuck marriage, fuck having kids" and focused only on banging women and having fun with their friends - what would the country look like? I'm not saying this from any sort of holier-than-thou perspective, since I have no near-term desire to get settled down either, but I also have no qualms about acknowledging that if everybody else thought like me, our society would probably be worse off.

The difference is that today, you have the freedom to ignore that and blaze your own path forward. This was not always the case.

On a personal note, you need to stop dwelling on college being the "peak" of anything. It is true for many people but not for everybody. A popular college fraternity guy is the top guy in a small town for 4 years max. A good nightlife connector (ala Distant Light) or somebody like Dan Bilzerian is the top guy in a CITY and can have a shelf life of 10+ years. A nightlife promoter I'm friends with had the traditional Chad college experience and from what he says, it pales to what he now experiences in the night scene, BOTH in terms of having fun with friends and experiences with women.

[RatInTheWoods]

I started work early, in a male dominated but lucrative field (engineering) while my lazy mates avoided work, life, bludged through Uni, and enjoyed a few extra years smoking dope and fucking the insipid women that thought surfies and pot lifestyle was cool.

These days I am international playboy, scuba diving, high rolling and laying exotic highly interesting women with stacks of cash and swerve.

My old mates are living in the caravan park and still sinking cones and baning the (now fat) bogan bitches that haven't looked hot since 1990.

[Geomann180]

Get off the forum and go do things in real life.

Find something you enjoy doing (outside the home) and do it a lot. Like Karaoke. It takes balls to do Karaoke and if you get good at it, you'll make a lot of fun acquaintances.

G

[Bienvenuto]

I feel like I get what OP is saying in terms of 'the culture".

I remember at uni everyone seemed to have such normie risk averse parents and the message from all the corporate advertising on campus and their families was "These Are the Best! Days! Of Your Life!"

I was just stuck thinking.. there are a lot of good things here
- but going to insipid parties all the time, one night stands, getting blind drunk all the time, .... it has a shelf life.
It isn't that exciting after a while.

And all the while it was a lifestyle that was being pushed on us in every negotiation with lecturers, halls of residence monitors, bank representatives, ("otherwise how are you going to party so much? You wouldn't want that taken away would you?") as if we were too weak to want anything else.

Wilfred Thesiger went to Uni and sat in the corner of the library, found a book on the Mongol Empire and decided he wanted to explore: so he went off to undiscovered parts of Africa and Arabian deserts - got shot at, returned that favour, found uncharted mountains and tribes at times with just a horse or a camel and some supplies.

meanwhile we were being treated like children.

I agree with OP that..

Adverts, advertising and marketing conspire to keep us children.

It depowers us. The worship of youth is real and it is insidious despite the fact that it is very recent historically.
The worship of sappy romance films and storylines is another aspect of the same thing.

The big wigs, the politicians, the stars and the Hollywood producers..
The Tony Blairs.. The Mick Jaggers.. The Arnold Schwarzeneggers.. The Brad Pitts..
Nobody Wants to Grow Up.

I'm sure we've all been places in the world where older, wiser men are worshipped as the goal to aspire to.

Places where people look forward to getting older and coming into their own as a patriarch as THE thing to look forward to.

Maybe thats valued in parts of the West but I don't see it so much in movies or in adverts or on TV.

That's what blew me away about "Heat" when I saw it as a kid in 1996.

It wasn't all about being a mid twenties pretty boy action star.
(Keanu Reeves is a young cop who has infiltrated a group of surfers and now has to keep surfing the same wave at 20mph or the dastardly Evil Villain will blow up the bus containing his supermodel girlfriend.)

Those men in Heat were MEN and they were coming into their power as men much later in life.

It was a slow burn of the relationships between those men who were past their twenties, but not just >still< dangerous and formidable but, rather, MORE dangerous and MORE formidable for their experience and were now coming into the final stretch, the fulfilment of all they had done before.

I come across that feeling about life in places around the world, not so much in the cucked west but in the West's rural areas, Eastern Europe, parts of Asia, Africa.

Its good to be the coming man, the youthful pretender but in these places coming into one's full power as an older man is where the juice is.

Off the top of my head you can see the same attitude to life in films such as "Killing of a Chinese Bookie" (<for a very depressed, struggling version of it) or the Russian "White Sun of the Desert".

[BlueMark]

Beer, right now you're giving yourself the pep talk about mindset, but for all we know, in a few weeks you'll end up thinking about something else and writing another lengthy post that goes nowhere. You gotta break out of that cycle and move on by deciding what kind of life you want to build, not what kind of life society is telling you to live.

As a late bloomer who tends to get stuck in mental loops at times, I recommend that you take magic mushrooms to help you reflect on life and what you want out of it. It has helped me and many other members of this forum. If you have no idea where to get them, but have $1000 and a few days to spare, take a trip to Amsterdam. You can legally buy mushrooms in the shops there. Eat them in the privacy of your hotel room, and start thinking about the kinds of things you've posted on this forum. The mushrooms will help you think things through, if you let them.

Let us know how it goes.

[tomzestatlu]

I am 26 years old. I must say, that the way I live life right now isn´t they way I have always lived that. But life is a journey and I live it accordingly to my life experiences. Some were good, some were bad, but that´s how life works.
I spent my teens at militry high school. I wasn´t getting girls, but it gave me guys I can call brothers and muscles. I look back to this times with love. But it´s just a part of journey, that gave me something and at 19 I had to continue.
Next 5 years meant to me securing career and finding the right one to settle down. And at the end, one year ago I turned my life totally opossite direction, left career, broke up with fiancee...
And it was awesome year. Yes I feel down sometimes, because I went all-in, ended up alone, which is something I couldn´t take, when I was younger. But last year has given me more than rest of my life. When I imagine how much I can do in few upcoming years, if I try at least as last year, it will be wonderful.
I´m not saying, that I am living dream life, I am just ordinary person, who wakes up angry to work everyday. But it´s about what you do, when work is over. I do things, that other people envy me, but never do. Just don´t be afraid of anything (especially adventure), do more than other are willing to and you are OWNING your life.
Just go out running at midnight, get on random train, climb a mountain, face violence, flirt with a girl ... I think that these moments make you feel alive.


When it comes to settling down, I have nothing against that. I have already tried that. I had wonderful girl, but if it was time for me, she wouldn´t find stuff in my mobile phone like she did. This beautiful period gave image of woman I will start my family with once... in the future. When the time will come for me, I think I will be able to feel that. Until then I will use my newly learned skill - how to enjoy life only with myself and get some more pussy.

What I embrace the most is working on my body. I can be lost in all ways - and sometimes I am - but this is must do thing, that brings so much positive things to my life. I don´t know what career path I should decide, when I will settle down and start a family, but I know I will always pursue the need to be the baddest and the most dangerous motherfucker you can meet on the street.

When it comes to partying, I was drinking HEAVILY when I was younger and I am glad this period is behing me. I like to enjoy myself with friends and some alcohol from time to time, but the ones who party every week at their 30 are LOSERS.

Edit: I think I will save this post for myself and re-read it, when I feel down about my life.

[triumph1]

It's interesting, because I went from 16-28 without female interaction, aside from prostitutes since 25.

Now I feel like I will never be young in the same age group as the women I am attracted to, 18-25.

I literally let my youth slip by me and it's a gut wrenching feeling you finally realise it.

[Cobra]

@beer

I'm not sure I can say this any differently than I have in past similar philosophical threads you started. We share some cultural similarities and background and I believe some of your frustrations are similar to those I had. So I have given advice I think you can use but you have both indirectly and directly brushed it off. I do think you brush off what I say because I am similar to you and it hits too close. A form of denial. I know this is harsh but I don't know how else to say it.

This forum can only help men that listen, understand and follow advice. Your problem is this: there is a major disconnect between the listening and understanding. As far as following, you're not even in that mindset because you do not understand what we are telling you. Instead you seem to just want to have a philosophical discussion. Your philosophical discussion and opinions have no value until you gain experience. Until then you should be in an advice seeking, learning and action based mindset.

You're like the guys that come into my business really green, act like they are listening and talk very theoretically about what they want to accomplish. Months later they are fired or leave due to pressure. Please, don't be like these guys. These guys always end up like PapayaTapper's bald guy.

Can you answer this question: How are you, beer going to improve your own life? What is your plan? Do some introspection about your limitations and inner game and come up with solutions.

Otherwise, these threads are just making you delve deeper into inaction and starting threads like this is actually making you worse off. Like Geomann180 said, keep yourself away from the forum for a few months. Get to the gym, travel, approach women, whatever but just DO something. Come back after that and report to us.

Believe me as much as I want to shake the essays out of you, I want to see you succeed and do well.

[BlueMark]

From his profile:

Quote:

a beer is enough is currently away.
Reason: Found the purpose, pursuing it, and might come back to you guys with better results.
Away Since: 04-01-2019 Returns on: 01-01-2020

Let's hope he comes back bearing good news.