[HankMoody]

Been going back and forth with a girl on Bumble for a couple days. Real cute but a bit older than I like.

Supposed to have a date tonight. Good stuff.

Messaging is per the usual, date is setup, then she asks me right out of the blue before the date:

"How tall are you?"
"5'5. that a dealbreaker?"
"Yeah, it kind of is, I'd be taller than you in heels."
"cool. take care."
"You too."

Granted, your buddy Hank probably could have salvaged that. If I wanted to at least try, I should have responded to the question "How much do you weigh?" "What is the balance of your bank account?" or "How many dudes have you banged?" Or I could have just said "Why does that matter?" and shamed her for even asking, or "10 feet fall, and I consume the English with fireballs from my eyes, and bolts of lightning from my arse."

But honestly, it felt like too much work, and I was sort of looking for a reason to keep playing Playstation and not leave my house tonight (or stop posting on the RVF).

In any event, this is my point -- online dating favors men who are tall, physically fit, have tattoos, and a big dog. It's a total waste of time for us "average" guys who rely on charisma, charm, dress, and success.

Put me in a bar face to face, and I'll usually walk out with a hot chick. But online dating is just a black hole these days. Why waste the time giving into this superficial bullshit?

I'm disappointed that I wasted about an hour of my time that could have gone just about anywhere else, or nowhere. I'd of been better off just talking to women in my local watering hole. Or not hitting the pause button to send messages.

[godzilla]

An hour wasted indeed. Fishtown and Old City were swarming with average pussy all day yesterday.

[Sidney Crosby]

Girls have too much choice online, even average girls on Tinder match with basically every guy they swipe.

[IntrovertSigma]

I'm in the same situation. I would say there's a clear 1.5 to 2 point difference on the classic 10 point scale between the type of girls I've hooked up with and the type I match with online. If it was purely about dating and hooking up it would be a waste of time for me.

However I'm looking to work the lifestyle / social circle angle this year and I'm using Tinder as an additional funnel in combination with Instagram.

So my criteria for meeting up with women from online sources is different. As long as they're not fat I'm happy to meet up with them. My lifestyle is such that I have the potential to grow a good amount of social proof.

[HankMoody]

(03-18-2018 06:43 PM)godzilla Wrote:  

An hour wasted indeed. Fishtown and Old City were swarming with average pussy all day yesterday.

You're telling me. I was too spent to go out last night.

Sundays are normally church, gym, brunch, but I'm open to dates in the evening.

Oh well.

No need to put pants on.

[True Balla]

Just put your height in your profile then and save your time.

[The Wire]

(03-18-2018 06:20 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Been going back and forth with a girl on Bumble for a couple days. Real cute but a bit older than I like.

Supposed to have a date tonight. Good stuff.

Messaging is per the usual, date is setup, then she asks me right out of the blue before the date:

"How tall are you?"
"5'5. that a dealbreaker?"
"Yeah, it kind of is, I'd be taller than you in heels."
"cool. take care."
"You too."

IMO if you're going to give your height then I wouldn't add in "that a dealbreaker?". You just volunteered the idea that your height is low value before she said it. Not that you could have salvaged this either way since she probably had her mind made up but if the situation is going to go south i'd rather retain my frame that she's a social retard for asking me my height.

[HankMoody]

(03-18-2018 07:12 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

(03-18-2018 06:20 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Been going back and forth with a girl on Bumble for a couple days. Real cute but a bit older than I like.

Supposed to have a date tonight. Good stuff.

Messaging is per the usual, date is setup, then she asks me right out of the blue before the date:

"How tall are you?"
"5'5. that a dealbreaker?"
"Yeah, it kind of is, I'd be taller than you in heels."
"cool. take care."
"You too."

IMO if you're going to give your height then I wouldn't add in "that a dealbreaker?". You just volunteered the idea that your height is low value before she said it. Not that you could have salvaged this either way since she probably had her mind made up but if the situation is going to go south i'd rather retain my frame that she's a social retard for asking me my height.

I agree, but she lives sort of far from me, so I wasn't to keen on wasting my time and gas. Hot, but also has a kid, and is 38. So for me that's two strikes right out of the gate. My incentive to drive out to her was low to begin with.

I could have played that question much better if I felt like gaming or at least "having a shot."

If she were 23 and finishing college, I probably would have put the effort in to play it better.

At this juncture, it's more her loss than mine.

I'll console myself in my big house, big pickup truck, and in whiskey tonight on my 70 inch TV playing Playstation games.

My heart will go on...

[Steelex]

Are you surprised? Lol.

It's a known fact that women are physically into attractive guys. I.e tall and fit with good face. Just like we are into beautiful women. It's evolution man. You wouldn't want some little fat ho with scraggly teeth would you?

Online is a game of appearance, not personality.

[CleanSlate]

Like one poster above, that “is that a dealbreaker” shows lack of confidence when it comes to height. We’ve had this conversation before in one of your other threads.

I don’t go around saying “I’m deaf. Is that a dealbreaker?” Right?

It doesn’t matter. Of course some girls will screen themselves out, so be it. But to other girls, none of that matters man.

Online dating sucks (in the West)? On that, I agree 100%.

[PondScum]

Don't sweat it Hank, you and Patrice both know what time it is.
https://youtu.be/yUYYX13uB4E

[dosequis]

A lot of limiting believes. This was my Tinder after two days in London, top left: https://i.imgur.com/rhgLrve.png

Point is that I'm closer to 5'8 than 5'9, so just slightly taller than you, zero tattoos (physically fit though).

So I'm not very tall but I still get much more matches and lays than any other of my taller friends, and I've slept with a couple of taller girls from there. I think it disapproves at least two of your points. Height is very overrated in my opinion.

Perhaps you're a bit on the verge in terms of the height where it becomes a dealbreaker for a lot of girls though. But like many pointed out, best is probably just to appear non-reactive.
But for me it's actually more of a dealbreaker if the girl asks that question, not a good sign. It's like they want you to qualify yourself (fuck that) and I would bet they'd never try that with a pretty short guy like Justin Bieber anyway.
And just imagine if you as a guy asked girls about the size of their tits in a conversation like that, they'd be right to think you're a bit of a weirdo.
It's a bit of a dumb thing to do, in my opinion.

I also don't see much of a point in blaming online dating in particular, since it's usually the same dull girls online as you see in the nightclubs/bars. Most girls in the nightclub venues will be on Tinder and Instagram and be all into this superficial world either way nowadays. Not much of a difference.

And what about yourself, can you honestly say that you aren't that superficial too? Do you normally choose the nicer, more polite and intellectual girls before the hot sexy bimbos and don't normally refer to girls as a number between 1 and 10?

I think that if you want less superficial girls it's probably neither nightclubs/bars or online you should be looking at.

+ I get it with being superficial in terms of height and tattoos but what's the problem with a girl that prefers a physically fit guy instead of an "average guy".

[pancakemouse]

(03-18-2018 08:23 PM)dosequis Wrote:  

A lot of limiting believes. This was my Tinder after two days in London, top left: https://i.imgur.com/rhgLrve.png

Point is that I'm closer to 5'8 than 5'9, so just slightly taller than you, zero tattoos (physically fit though).

5'8" is not a problem. 5'5" is.

If I remember correctly, HankMoody is not physically fit, not facially attractive, and on the older side. That's not a good profile for online apps.

(03-18-2018 06:20 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

I'm disappointed that I wasted about an hour of my time that could have gone just about anywhere else, or nowhere. I'd of been better off just talking to women in my local watering hole. Or not hitting the pause button to send messages.

You shouldn't be messaging with these women for an hour. I'd say my total time investment per girl from opener to meet is 10-15 minutes. I also do most of it at the gym between sets.

[TheBMan]

(03-18-2018 06:20 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Been going back and forth with a girl on Bumble for a couple days. Real cute but a bit older than I like.

Supposed to have a date tonight. Good stuff.

Messaging is per the usual, date is setup, then she asks me right out of the blue before the date:

"How tall are you?"
"5'5. that a dealbreaker?"
"Yeah, it kind of is, I'd be taller than you in heels."
"cool. take care."
"You too."

Granted, your buddy Hank probably could have salvaged that. If I wanted to at least try, I should have responded to the question "How much do you weigh?" "What is the balance of your bank account?" or "How many dudes have you banged?" Or I could have just said "Why does that matter?" and shamed her for even asking, or "10 feet fall, and I consume the English with fireballs from my eyes, and bolts of lightning from my arse."

But honestly, it felt like too much work, and I was sort of looking for a reason to keep playing Playstation and not leave my house tonight (or stop posting on the RVF).

In any event, this is my point -- online dating favors men who are tall, physically fit, have tattoos, and a big dog. It's a total waste of time for us "average" guys who rely on charisma, charm, dress, and success.

Put me in a bar face to face, and I'll usually walk out with a hot chick. But online dating is just a black hole these days. Why waste the time giving into this superficial bullshit?

I'm disappointed that I wasted about an hour of my time that could have gone just about anywhere else, or nowhere. I'd of been better off just talking to women in my local watering hole. Or not hitting the pause button to send messages.

I can certainly see your point, but I'm 6'3 and physically fit (no tats or dogs) and online dating sucks for me to. The average remotely attractive girl on bumble or tinder has so many options I'd like to meet the guys fucking all of them just to say well done.

[pancakemouse]

(03-18-2018 08:36 PM)TheBMan Wrote:  

(03-18-2018 06:20 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Been going back and forth with a girl on Bumble for a couple days. Real cute but a bit older than I like.

Supposed to have a date tonight. Good stuff.

Messaging is per the usual, date is setup, then she asks me right out of the blue before the date:

"How tall are you?"
"5'5. that a dealbreaker?"
"Yeah, it kind of is, I'd be taller than you in heels."
"cool. take care."
"You too."

Granted, your buddy Hank probably could have salvaged that. If I wanted to at least try, I should have responded to the question "How much do you weigh?" "What is the balance of your bank account?" or "How many dudes have you banged?" Or I could have just said "Why does that matter?" and shamed her for even asking, or "10 feet fall, and I consume the English with fireballs from my eyes, and bolts of lightning from my arse."

But honestly, it felt like too much work, and I was sort of looking for a reason to keep playing Playstation and not leave my house tonight (or stop posting on the RVF).

In any event, this is my point -- online dating favors men who are tall, physically fit, have tattoos, and a big dog. It's a total waste of time for us "average" guys who rely on charisma, charm, dress, and success.

Put me in a bar face to face, and I'll usually walk out with a hot chick. But online dating is just a black hole these days. Why waste the time giving into this superficial bullshit?

I'm disappointed that I wasted about an hour of my time that could have gone just about anywhere else, or nowhere. I'd of been better off just talking to women in my local watering hole. Or not hitting the pause button to send messages.

I can certainly see your point, but I'm 6'3 and physically fit (no tats or dogs) and online dating sucks for me to. The average remotely attractive girl on bumble or tinder has so many options I'd like to meet the guys fucking all of them just to say well done.

How is your facial attractiveness? With 6'3" and physically fit you should be doing just fine on Tinder.

Sounds like you need to improve your photos.

[The Wire]

(03-18-2018 08:33 PM)corsega Wrote:  

(03-18-2018 08:23 PM)dosequis Wrote:  

A lot of limiting believes. This was my Tinder after two days in London, top left: https://i.imgur.com/rhgLrve.png

Point is that I'm closer to 5'8 than 5'9, so just slightly taller than you, zero tattoos (physically fit though).

5'8" is not a problem. 5'5" is.

I have to agree. On the surface it only seems like 3 inches but that separates a guy from the lower end of the average range(5'8") into a different category. A lot of women are going to pick that apart. Still you have to own it.

[coverdoc]

Why does it matter that you tell them your height? I had a boy when I was down in Argentina who was 5'5. He put 5'8 on his tinder and when he showed up on dates he wore these shoes that had 3 inch inserts specifically designed for short guys. He'd fuck and after they'd stick around. When i asked him about them waking up and seeing he is short he said women care less after the dicks been inside them.

I'd just do that dude instead of complaining about online dating and all this morality bull shit. Besides most of these sluts can't really tell height. 5'7 bitches and below think i'm ony 5'9 and 5'9 bitches and above think i'm closer to 6 feet.

-CD

[Player_1337]

Height inquiry was a classic shit test. Need to either ignore, deflect or agree and amplify big league.

[Investment Bro]

I do use online dating but I too find the returns to be...subpar at best. I'm six feet tall, well built, and good looking and chicks I wouldn't give the time of day to in real life don't give me the time of day on Tinder. Just the nature of the beast.

You've mentioned before that you like to wear boots? Throw some shoe lifts in the boots and no way would that bitch be taller than you in heels.

Granted that woman was probably looking for a reason to flake. Height or not, you just gave her an easy out. In a way, kind of a good thing, because those 50/50 bitches are never quite as good as kicking it with surround sound, a good whiskey and some video games.

[questor70]

Quote:

I wasted about an hour of my time

There's that story from zoology which talks about big cat predators like lions. Predators like cats sleep a lot to conserve energy. I don't know what the actual ratio is but if the cats do enough chasing and not enough catching they will slowly starve to death due to a caloric deficit of all that running and no eating.

With the dating market, it's not life or death per se, but the currency we're dealing with is TIME.

We're only on this earth for a limited time, and as you get older, time starts to feel more and more precious, while simultaneously, thanks to hedonic adaptation, it becomes more of a struggle to appreciate the good things in life that used to be so fresh and new (like sex for its own sake).

For women, the expense of TIME is NOT a factor because if they just want a disposable fuck they can just quickly sift through and pick someone. I also think women tend to lead such vapid lives in general that an hour spent flirting with a guy online isn't seen as a waste after she deems him unfuckable for one reason or another because she's gotten the validation that comes from feeling wanted.

This might not be the best venue for such sentiment but really, there's more to life than notches.

[Chicopicante]

I hate online dating because it's for women to date up and men to date down.

Fuckkkk that.

[Alpha_Romeo]

Nuclear retaliation: "How old are you?" (pointing out her crow's feet, etc.). However, she probably won't understand the logic and irony, and it comes off as tit-for-tat.

I despise online dating as well. While it seems like a good idea from an efficiency and volume (access) perspective, the reality is that many women who are damaged goods accumulate in such environments resulting in a bottom of the barrel preselection.

I guess that's why you will more likely find more attractive, kinder, sensible women offline rather than online.

[N°6]

The fundamental problem with online dating is that women’s “competition anxiety” is low to negligible.

It’s not frame control when a below average woman has a ‘take it or leave it” attitude. Her inbox fuels this attitude.

[True Balla]

I love online dating, I mostly date up lol. I can't pull shit in person. I can really never go out and pull 8's, and 7's are even rare. Online, I get new 7's every week and the occasional 8. I suppose it's just different for everyone.

[pancakemouse]

(03-19-2018 02:45 AM)True Balla Wrote:  

I love online dating, I mostly date up lol. I can't pull shit in person. I can really never go out and pull 8's, and 7's are even rare. Online, I get new 7's every week and the occasional 8. I suppose it's just different for everyone.

Absolutely. It all depends on the elements of each guy's SMV. I also do better online than I do in real life. My theory is that I'm jacked, and I don't really show that off in real life, but yet online my first photo can be my abs and that slays.