[Mr.GoodThread]

Disclaimer: I have very little game and consider myself super rusty as I was in a nearly 10-year relationship with my ex.

On Thursday, I arrived in Chiang Mai for the first time. slightly before 10 p.m. I walked into a restaurant. I was the only customer there. This meant that the server could give all her attention to me. Her English was not so great, but it was understandable, and when I spoke slow she understood me as well. She was in regular work attire, no makeup and hair not done, so she looked like a 5, but her smiles and kind demeanor bumped her up to a 7 for me. She is originally from the Chiang Rai and has been in Chiang Mai for about 6 years

Eventually, I asked her for her LINE ID. She gave it to me and said after "don't take this the wrong way, but I thought you were gay." (maybe I came off as gay, due to my super slow and kind speech that I use with ESL students, and due to the fact that I was smiling a lot as I'm told that's what you do around these parts.).

I told her that I'm just visiting for a short amount of time and that I would be heading back to New York within the week. I know that you guys say that you need to fake as if you're already living here, but I'm not at that level of game yet, and I would only use that on the girls that seem bitchy. Also, I did tell her that I will be coming back to Chiang Mai for about 3 months later in the year, because that is actually what I plan to do.

She is either 22 years old or 26 (can't recall). I am 33 years old. I asked her to guess how old I am and she said 26 or 29 I believe. We left it at that.

My goals: I don't need to go for the bang, but would at least like to get the end of the date kiss to plant the metaphorical seed in her for when I come back.

Following is our text exchange up to the moment:

Edit: How can I display the edited LINE messages in the body of the text? I don't want to have to type the whole thing out, and it's telling me that when I try to put it as an attachment the file size is too large.

If that doesn't work, if one of the trusted forum members here can provide me with their line or Whatsapp info, then I can just send you the messages and you can post them up.

[speculator]

Girls usually assume you are gay when they give very strong IOIs and you don't act upon them. This is a self-defense mechanism cause they can't admit to themselves that they are fat ugly landwhales or something similar in terms of looks. It's usually girls below 6 who employ this tactic. On the other hand, some guys are so clueless that they deserve to be called gay.

[Tex]

I read all that just to find out you couldn't post the actual texts?

Next time edit your post and preview it so you know before posting it if it'll end up like you want it to.

And I don't think anyone would or should give you their personal information just to do your work for you. Either type out the entire thing or upload it to a picture hosting site like Imgur and link it from there.

I will give some preliminary analysis. I think your approach is shy and you need to change that. Only way to do that is go for the kill. You do need to go for the bang. Do not try to plant a seed to come back to. That will 100% not work in your case, given all the information I know of you.

Go balls out and put yourself out there more. Don't go half risk/half reward. Go for the bang every time.

[Mr.GoodThread]

Thanks Tex. The text exchange was kind of long, so it was for the sake of potential readers that I didn't want to type it out. I will upload it to one of those image sharing sites and drop the link.

[Mr.GoodThread]

[Malone]

What's the problem? Take her out a couple times, and when she agrees to come back to your apartment to watch movies or drink wine or whatever (might take 2-3 dates, beware) - she'll put out.

[torridon747]

She sounds down to me. Take her out and pull her back to your spot after a date or two

[RatInTheWoods]

Contrast a Thai woman with a waitress back in the states eh? A pleasure to interact with.

Looking forward to the next installment.

[PondScum]

Definitely need more emojis. Trout love smiley faces!
https://youtu.be/QCa9f8cPRbk

[melikey]

This is a pretty good examples how you shouldnt text with a girl.. You write too many emojis and you come across as incredibly needy with those long messages. Also never change your schedule around a girl, if you do it you shouldnt tell her you did it because of her.

You really dont have to try this hard, you are a american in Thailand

[Mr.GoodThread]

At 10:10 a.m. yesterday she texted:

"you will not do anything to me right??? I trust you if we will go on a date."

How exactly should I interpret this?

Thanks for the input fellas. Going on a first date tomorrow as it is the only off-day she has from work.

Malone, I feel exactly the same. The issue is that I really am going to go back to the States very soon, so unless I can get a 2nd date out of her somehow on Tues. or Wed. then it probably isn't happening. I don't want to scare her off unless I get specific indicators during the first date that she's open to come back to my spot.

Some of you are contradicting. I read on here that one LINE messaging with Thai girls, using emojis is a good thing.

The only reason that the messages on my end seem so long, is because whenever I'm talking to someone whose English isn't good I feel that I need to be very detailed so that I don't leave any room for misinterpretation (similar to how we don't want to use sarcasm or American jokes and confuse them).

I am coming back to Chiang Mai later this year, so I at least want to leave a good impression if I don't get the lay this time around, so that I can reopen that door in a couple of months. If I do manage to get her in bed with me, I would like to slowly fuk her, rather than aggressively animal fuk her during the first time, if that makes any sense.

I don't want a girlfriend, but I will be perfectly fine with having a frequent FWB set-up ( though she probably wouldn't agree to this at first, and worst case scenario I might just have to put her in that category unbeknownst to her). If she continues working 5 to 6 days a week, then it would benefit me to have her as an option rather than a girl that doesn't work and is going to be constantly available and too needy.

Another thing to note is that I'm really used to overly-sexualizing text messages (even made some unsuccessful attempts at it with girls on Thai Friendly), so it feels a little bit awkward to not be doing that in this current situation.

[Mr.GoodThread]

Update:

Long story short, I ended up not fucking her. I didn't even kiss her. Supposedly, she had never kissed a guy before, or had a boyfriend. After seeing her the second day in clear lighting (the 2nd day was the day of our 1st date) she looked more like a 4.5 (she didn't wear makeup at the beginning of the date, although she did put some on later on during the date when it became clear that our next step was going to my AirBNB condo), but her personality and character boosted her up to a 6 for me (I'm big on girls that can make me laugh or entertain me because then if I don't get the P, at least I had some fun).

I don't regret the day at all, because I did have some fun. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask.

Also, I will post a thread asking some random Thailand questions based on my observations over the past 10 or so days (not all related to sex or game), and hopefully those in the know can assist with their opinions and answers.

[PondScum]

Oh well, nevermind. This sort of thing happens quite often per hundred trout who enter your funnel.

Keep on fishing.

[LeBaron]

To be honest I didn't read all of your text exchanges far too long but from what I noticed:
-you send too much emojis just stop it
-it seems like a huge hassle to get on a date with this 5, you are in Asia just go outside go talk to a girl bring her to your room and fuck her forget about this one

[KeepMovingForward]

(03-17-2018 08:17 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  

At 10:10 a.m. yesterday she texted:

"you will not do anything to me right??? I trust you if we will go on a date."

How exactly should I interpret this?

Thanks for the input fellas. Going on a first date tomorrow as it is the only off-day she has from work.

Malone, I feel exactly the same. The issue is that I really am going to go back to the States very soon, so unless I can get a 2nd date out of her somehow on Tues. or Wed. then it probably isn't happening. I don't want to scare her off unless I get specific indicators during the first date that she's open to come back to my spot.

Some of you are contradicting. I read on here that one LINE messaging with Thai girls, using emojis is a good thing.

The only reason that the messages on my end seem so long, is because whenever I'm talking to someone whose English isn't good I feel that I need to be very detailed so that I don't leave any room for misinterpretation (similar to how we don't want to use sarcasm or American jokes and confuse them).

I am coming back to Chiang Mai later this year, so I at least want to leave a good impression if I don't get the lay this time around, so that I can reopen that door in a couple of months. If I do manage to get her in bed with me, I would like to slowly fuk her, rather than aggressively animal fuk her during the first time, if that makes any sense.

I don't want a girlfriend, but I will be perfectly fine with having a frequent FWB set-up ( though she probably wouldn't agree to this at first, and worst case scenario I might just have to put her in that category unbeknownst to her). If she continues working 5 to 6 days a week, then it would benefit me to have her as an option rather than a girl that doesn't work and is going to be constantly available and too needy.

Another thing to note is that I'm really used to overly-sexualizing text messages (even made some unsuccessful attempts at it with girls on Thai Friendly), so it feels a little bit awkward to not be doing that in this current situation.

Your texts still come off as too needy, try hard, and eager. No need for long winded replies, especially if she's not fluent in English (why would you give her more sentences and words to misunderstand?).

Based on your texts, you are putting in 100% of the effort to set things up and get the ball rolling. She should be investing at least a little bit, but you're not really giving her the opportunity with your smothering conversational style. If I translated your texting conversation with her into real life body language on a date, you would be leaning into her the whole night while being overly touchy feely and smiley, and laughing or being super impressed with anything she says. "Lean back" a bit, let her cover some of the distance.

Luckily, you have 2 things working for you, so that the texts aren't hurting you:
1. English isn't her first language- she likely doesn't understand all the nuances and long winded replies.
2. She's SUPER interested- she's given several indicators that she's down to fuck, or at least get on that path.

"you will not do anything to me right??? I trust you if we will go on a date."
That's a VERY strong sign she's thinking of you in a sexual sense, and likely hoping that you WILL do something to her, but in a manner that makes her comfortable and not feel like a slut. Your instinct to not talk to her in an overly sexual manner is a good one here, she doesn't seem like the type that responds well to that.

You're overthinking her specifically. Why do you care about leaving a good impression if you're not returning for months? You overestimate her ability to give a shit about you after you've been gone for a week and she's back to her usual routine that doesn't involve you. Tack on a couple months and she's completely forgotten about you, unless you've been keeping up with her and putting in a lot of effort to talk, in which case I would ask why are you putting so much energy into a self proclaimed 5? I would consider anything beyond getting the bang on the first date a monumental waste of time unless there was something I really really liked about her.

Also curious how you got her back to your place and no makeout at minimum? That seems weird, from the way you described things it shouldn't have been a problem to get some kind of action. Again though, if she's not even kissing you on the first date and she's a 5, who gives a fuck, there's millions of other hotter and more sexually available Thai girls waiting for you!

[dknightbro]

I don't get some of you guys who say not to use emojis.

I was a die-hard no emojis, Terminator stone-cold texter prior when my only experience of gaming was in the US. Yes, for Western women, it can look really beta using lots of smilies & emojis.

After living in Asia for several years, I still didn't adopt the emoji-style immediately. I could, however, sense hiccups in my game so now I have evolved to heavy emoji-smilies style for Asian girls.

If you know anything about Asian girls, they eat this stuff up. Especially the cutest/most attractive ones. Terminator stone-cold style is NOT consistently effective against attractive Asian girls.

OP is texting the way I would (yes even with the long paragraphs, Asian girls love the attention) in the quick scan I made. I'm still lazy and do minimal texting so not exactly like the OP, but I know that long paragraphs Asian girls will eat that up. I often lose Asian girls because I text so sparsely & minimally (focusing on work than checking their msgs every moment).

The interaction looks good so far. No problems really unless OP makes a major blunder. Good job.

[456]

Try not to let the language gap "justify" your over-compensating extra verbiage.

Would "Chad" even give a shit or make extra effort to overcome the language gap? He'd just be thrilled he could use some Engrish on it.

"Act like you've been there before". Your lack of experience is creating a space you seem to be trying to fill with extra Logical Thoughts.

Instead, enjoy the tension of the unknown, act like you've been there before, assume the sale, have the most charitable interpretations of her responses (after all, she's Still Talking, so you have a shot!).

Less is more.

[Mr.GoodThread]

I'm already back in the USA, but a couple of highlights:

I showed up 30 minutes late to the date ( I read online that this was okay with Thai girls because they're usually late). I only found out a week later that this displeased her a little bit. She was not lie at all.

Upon getting to Maya shopping plaza, I went to the supermarket and purchased some water (6 bottles). I told her that I didn't want to carry the water with me during the date and that I needed to drop it off at my place. She did the 8-10 minute walk with me to my place. I must have read on here some where that letting them see your place early on would build comfort so that it wouldn't be like walking into the unknown later on. We dropped the water off and then went back to the shopping plaza.

We had our date that spanned over 3 to 4 hours (lunch, arcade, movie, dessert), and then I convinced her to come back to my place. Once we arrived, I even told her that I would leave the front door open, so as to calm her fears that I would just maul her . I did leave the front door open , but eventually I did close the front door when I was about to try to get more intimate. I put something on Netflix. I tried to get her to sit next to me on the couch, but she was hesitant. At first I acted super nonchalant like I didn't care, but then eventually I did go in for a kiss. She turned away. She continued to turn away during other attempts.

A few potential red flags during the day:

- she told me that she is a Christian. When I told her that I didn't really have any religious beliefs her face kind of became sad.

- after our date at the mall, when she was back in my place, she asked me if I like girls wearing bikinis (mad random). I said something along the lines that I don't really care what the girl looks like because it depends on a girls character when it comes to me.

- she doesn't drink

- she is supposedly a virgin, never even kissed anyone, and doesn't even kiss people on the cheek. When she was about to leave (after about 20-30 mins of my trying to kiss her, backing away for a minute, and re-assure her that I'm not a bad guy), she asked me to close my eyes, and gave me a kiss on the cheek ( this was supposedly a big thing for her).

I've been back home since Saturday, and we've had light conversations over LINE almost every day (only 2-3 sentences each day). They were 100% pleasent.
Yesterday, she messaged me with a different tone though. She was kind of asking me why I was so crazy to take her to my place only after the second time meeting. I admitted that because I was going to be leaving soon I was trying to "speed-date" her and that I meant no disrespect. We had a little bit of back and forth, and then I flat out told her that I was going to put her in the "friend zone" ( I don't think they really understand what that means in Thailand though.) She apologized for the sudden mood switch and for accusing me of being a fake nice guy and sweet-talker. She said that she must have been having a crazy night. She says that she wants to kiss me when she sees me next time and doesn't want me to consider her just a friend. Blah, blah, blah. I told her that we'll just see what happens the next time you meet.

The truth is that I would rather have her as a friend (although I have trouble having women as friends). If she really is a virgin though, then I don't want to to deal with that. Even if it only takes a date or two more to crack her, I'm not going to make her exclusive, and the sex would be wack due to her inexperience. Not really seeking any guidance here, just reporting from the field. I think I would rather have her in a little sister role. I am not game-advanced enough to be a heartbreaker.

[kaotic]

Why on earth do you want this girl as a friend?

You aren't banging her or dating her or going to take her virginity, or marry her.

I mean yeah it's great you're not trying to ruin this girls virginity or hurt her, but honestly, I'm not friend with girls unless they're in a relationship or married to my buddies.

[Mr.GoodThread]

I still might bang her/take her virginity, but that isn't a requirement for me to keep her around. When I told her that she was cool and sweet, I actually meant it. I wasn't just running game.

I feel that if I had my life together right now, I wouldn't have time to even entertain her, and I wouldn't be seeking to fill a void in my life. Right now, she's kind of serving as a bridge to Thailand (a safe bridge).

Does her being a Christian mean the same thing that it means in the West? That's an element that I don't like. She didn't display any obvious Christianity traits, but I was just curious.

[SlickyBoy]

Quote:

I know that you guys say that you need to fake as if you're already living here, but I'm not at that level of game yet,

What level of game is this? All that amounts to is not revealing a negative. Try to avoid discussing when you're leaving.

As others discussed, your texts are too wordy but she's obviously so into you that it didn't hurt - you had to deliberately give this one away. As Kaotic mentioned if you aren't banging, dating, marrying etc. her then what are you doing? You're not only wasting your time you're also wasting hers - she's not saving herself for the convent, you know.

Agree for the most part about the emojis, you kind of overdid it, but in my experience this isn't a showstopper in Asia - they're really into the whole cutsie nonsense. But never try to out-talk a talkative girl no matter where you are.

Being late is one thing, but 30 minutes might be pushing it, even in Thailand. You were in a town full of foreigners, but she obviously isn't getting the attention from them otherwise she'd have bailed a lot earlier.

Also, not that you really used any, but leave out any sarcasm in your communications - they either do not understand it or if they do understand they think it's rude. Same goes for slang like friend zone - why teach her that anyway?

[kaotic]

(03-28-2018 04:38 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  

I still might bang her/take her virginity, but that isn't a requirement for me to keep her around. When I told her that she was cool and sweet, I actually meant it. I wasn't just running game.

To be straight up, it doesn't sound like much game was ran here.

I understand that she's sweet and a virgin, we get that.

Quote:

I feel that if I had my life together right now, I wouldn't have time to even entertain her, and I wouldn't be seeking to fill a void in my life. Right now, she's kind of serving as a bridge to Thailand (a safe bridge).

That's another point of mine, why are you wasting your time then? Get your life together and find a better woman to entertain in your life.

Another big point: WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE A VOID TO FILL IN YOUR LIFE.

You should be getting along in life without having a women as a necessity unless you're serious about marriage and children.

How is she a bridge? Are you going to pivot her to gain access to her friends and network?

She doesn't sound like she has much of either of those based on your description of her.

Another question: What happens when you friend zone her and she wants to prove she isn't, that sounds like you're leading her on doesn't it?

Quote:

Does her being a Christian mean the same thing that it means in the West? That's an element that I don't like. She didn't display any obvious Christianity traits, but I was just curious.

There's "Christian" girls here in the west that get dicked down by multiple dudes in a week and then show up at church on sunday with their child praying their sins away.

An inexperienced, young, virgin, christian girl who hasn't kissed a guy on the lips sounds like an angel compared to the whore above.

[PapayaTapper]

Girls as friends = non alcoholic beer


...pointless

[Mr.GoodThread]

You guys do have a "point".

I find myself hypocritical in that I don't necessarily need to bang her, but I wouldn't mind banging her. And even though I don't want to ravage her ( as I later let her know that I could have done while she was in my room), I also don't want to lead her on.

I miscommunicated, and since I wouldn't intend to marry her ever, then I "do" hope that she is like many Christians in the WEST, where they would go in for the random bangings and still pretend to be the nice little church girl on Sunday.

Maybe I am wasting time, but I don't really believe in the concept of wasting time as long as something is being learned. I am being a bit hard-headed, but this case for the time being is on the smallest amount of heat on the stove ( not completely turned off, but also not a raging fire of emotions either).

P.S. someone here said that I shouldn't have been honest with her in letting her know that I was only in town for a short time and that it wouldn't have been lying, but just omitting the truth. But, when asked straight up for how long I will be in town, unless I already have it in my plans that I will be lying, then I would rather just say the truth to not get caught up in lies later.

I appreciate your replies, and do remember, that she's not a 4.5 like I mentioned earlier. I actually boosted her to a 6/6.5 based on character. Some of you guys know what it's like, when you get that intriguing feeling when you're with a girl that's not completely "vapid".

I guess the goal with her would be either:

(a.) Keep her as a legit friend that I can practice Thai with, since she presents herself as a "safe" friend

or

(b.) Slowly break down her will and have her as a semi-serious relationship, while I bang a whole bunch of other girls throughout the week while she's too busy with work. This would be nice if, language and emotion-wise, I would be able to communicate with her that, I would not be exclusive to her, but I would also never show her that I wasn't exclusive with her, and that she would accept more of an out of sight, out of mind kind of situation. Like, she would appreciate our moments while we had them, and not concern herself with what I would be doing while we were not together.

When I do go back to Chiang Mai later this year, the goal was to work during the day on my own personal projects at home, and then leave all sorts of interaction with women for the night time. I wouldn't be opposed to flirting with a nice chick at a shop during the day however, and setting up something for later at night or later in the week, but it wouldn't be like a structured-out plan. If I were able to have the right self discipline then this plan would work for me. After about 3 to 4 months, then I would probably have to break it off with any girls that I got semi-serious with, but I guess that's already a given. I was in a relationship with a girl for nearly 12 years, so I'm definitely not trying to get in anything serious. Still, I understand that since a lot of the girls here have a nicer, innocent culture, then I would have to feign some seriousness and that's where the heartache on both sides may arise ( I'm just keeping it real).

[kaotic]

There's literally no point to this.

You're wasting your time and putting this girl on a pedestal.

Why aren't you talking to other Thai girls? You realize there's thousands of them.

If this girl isn't a looker it sounds like you're catching oneitis for a chick you haven't even kissed yet.

That's a laughable offense and you being hard headed about this is foolish at best, and rightly so.

You're literally wanting a long distance "friendship" with a girl you hardly hungout with and didn't even kiss.

This sounds like an awful waste of time that you could be doing more productive things with.


The only thing I'd do is tell her hey I'll be back in town later this year, I'll hit you up then, take care.

That's it.