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The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter
#26

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Do we have figures for exporting to the US from Europe? Our biggest growers are south of France, Spain and Portugal with their climates matching California.
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#27

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Yea, most major brands add way too much sugar. When I'm done with the existing supply, I'll probably make the switch.

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#28

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Quote: (03-09-2018 12:27 PM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

Quote: (03-07-2018 11:41 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

I still have 10 YUGE tubs of Skippy (chunky and creamy) from my street dealer named Costco sitting in my garage. My boy always delivers price and quality.

I love the taste of Skippy, but is it unhealthy compared to those natural peanut butters (which taste like ass but are supposedly good for you)?

No biggie, apparently peanuts aren't that great for you anyway.
Warning, if you follow the link to this blog it is VERY NSFW, this post isn't too bad but some of the others...

Quote:Chaos and pain Wrote:

Recently, Chaos and Pain started distributing product through Tiger Direct, and I'm going to be providing content to them once a month. Since I already had this article partway written, I submitted it to them for publication. Tragically, they're nerfing the shit out of my language, but this article is pretty badass and I want to spread the word about the evils of peanuts (apparently George Washington Carver wasn't the swell guy everyone seems to think), so you can read the un-nerfed beginning here and then follow the link to finish it.

Fuck peanuts. Fuck peanuts in their stupid asses.


If there isn't anyone reading who has at some point been strapped for cash and has thus resorted to living on peanut butter sandwiches, I'm a Chinese jet pilot- we've all done it. And having done so, I have bad news for the lot of us- peanuts are in fact poisonous, protein-packed pellets of doom, and they will give you cancer if you eat them frequently enough. Seriously, peanuts appear to be only slightly less carcinogenic than radium and although they are tasty, you should think strongly about never eating them again. Ever.

Saddam knew the awesome killing power of peanuts.

Scoff all you want, fuckface, but they're poisonous because they're packed clown-car style with aflatoxins. Aflatoxins are hyper-poisonous carcinogens that come from fungi that grows on a variety of different foods ranging from corn to peanuts, and the shit is serious- though acute aflatoxin poisoning occurs about as often as Amy Shumer skips a meal, chronic, lower-level exposure is both difficult to identify and more insidious than body-snatching ghosts in shitty Canadian "horror" films. No one's eating a pickup truck bed's worth of peanuts in a sitting, but you a pretty damn likely to do so over the course of a lifetime, and that's where the problems arise. Chronic exposure to aflatoxins is a problem you don't want to have- it leads to immunosuppression, cirrhosis, and liver cancer (Hardick).

Less lethal than peanuts.

Wait, it gets even better! Of the 20 different aflatoxins, aflatoxin B1 is considered to be by far the worst, and guess where it's most prevalent? You guessed it- peanuts. According to the ever-helpful Wikipedia, aflatoxin B1 "is highly implicated in hepatocellular carcinoma [a type of liver cancer that usually only occurs in people with chronic liver disease or cirrosis] in humans" and it "also been shown to be mutagenic [it alters your fucking DNA], teratogenic [turns fetuses into unspeakable horrors or miscarriages], and to cause immunosuppression" in animals (Wikipedia). Oh yeah, aflatoxins can do more damage than Michael Meyers on bath salts, viagra and cheque drops in a sorority house. Check out this list of bodily functions aflatoxins [read: peanuts] can mangle (Lee):

Respiratory: Pulmonary edema, cancer
Cardiovascular: Heart inflammation
Neurological: Reduced oxygen flow, headache, neuron death, encephalopathy, impaired memory, insomnia, disorientation, loss of coordination; tumors in both central and peripheral nervous system
Gastrointestinal: Liver damage, liver cancer, vital hepatitis, parasite infestation
Urinary: Kidney damage and tumors
Reproductive and Developmental: infertility, teratogenic, abnormal growth and development in children
Endocrine: Tumors and cancer
Blood: Blood and bone cancers
Immune: Immunosuppression, autoimmune reactions and allergies
Other: Mitochondrial malfunction, interference with protein and RNA synthesis, apoptosis (cell death)

Peanuts- Poisonous Protein-Packed Pellets Of Doom
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#29

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Excellent. The resulting glut should bring the cost of cranberries back down. And if they do the same to bourbon, the only thing that could make this trade war more delicious is some kind of glut on cinnamon and brown and white sugar. There are worse things than having to tough out a trade embargo on bourboned cranberries.

As for the peanut butter...do Europeans even eat the stuff? I've only ever seen it (or what passes for it in Europe) in Czechia and Norway. It strikes me as a pretty lame retaliation for steel and aluminum tariffs - a token gesture.
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#30

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter





“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
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#31

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

I call Shenanigans. New Cranberries headed our way shortly..

https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/08/entertain...index.html
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#32

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Unless I have a bad memory, he says in this video that most cranberries come from the US:





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Quote: (02-11-2019 05:10 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  
I take pussy how it comes -but I do now prefer it shaved low at least-you cannot eat what you cannot see.
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#33

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

^^^ This was my thought exactly.

And the bulk of the peanut butter probably comes from Kraft and PepsiCo or Nabisco. And the seeds for all this shit probably come from Monsanto and cargill.

So the Europeans think they are somehow gonna restrict flow of something American to America. Even something invented by Americans? Over George Washington Motherfucking Carvers dead body.

Aloha!
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#34

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Try to forbid Hawaiians from eating Hawaiian pizza and see what happens.

When you do that, even the president of Iceland, for some reason gets involved.

Quote:[/url]

And gets in trouble too.

Quote:Quote:

I like pineapples, just not on pizza. I do not have the power to make laws which forbid people to put pineapples on their pizza. I am glad that I do not hold such power. Presidents should not have unlimited power. I would not want to hold this position if I could pass laws forbidding that which I don’t like. I would not want to live in such a country. For pizzas, I recommend seafood.

[url=https://www.facebook.com/embaettiforseta/posts/764995766984279]Icland's president forced to clarify views on pineapple on pizza ban


Be happy we are just dealing with peanut butter and cranberries.

And don't let Kona know that Hawaiian pizza was invented by a Greek Canadian.

http://time.com/4814056/hawaiian-pizza-p...los-death/

We will have to ban RoundUp to prevent him from poisoning people. It will be an idionsyncratic sort of pandemonium.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
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#35

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Hawaiian pizza is the shit. I love it. Ham and pineapple taste great on a pizza. I went to Sally's in New Haven, CT once (a legendary pizza joint, supposedly) and asked for a Hawaiian. He told me "We don't do that here, that's not a real pizza".

Fuck that guy, I ended up calling Dominos.
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#36

The US Faces a Massive Shortage of Cranberries and Peanut Butter

Quote: (03-11-2018 01:58 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

Hawaiian pizza is the shit. I love it. Ham and pineapple taste great on a pizza. I went to Sally's in New Haven, CT once (a legendary pizza joint, supposedly) and asked for a Hawaiian. He told me "We don't do that here, that's not a real pizza".

Fuck that guy, I ended up calling Dominos.

While I agree Hawaiian pizza is great, you could of ordered a pie with dogshit on the top at Sally's and it would of been better than Domino's.

“There is no global anthem, no global currency, no certificate of global citizenship. We pledge allegiance to one flag, and that flag is the American flag!” -DJT
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