[randomakakak]

Good afternoon everyone.

Recently, I made the decision to move to NYC after living at home for a couple of years. Over the past two months I've been in the city, I have met five girls through dating apps, three of whom I slept with. There was a language barrier that made it hard to connect with the other two, so those were just first dates. In my social circle, I am desired by a good number of my female friends. This is because of my above average looks and laid-back demeanor. But I generally do not pursue these girls so as not to ruin the group dynamic. We go out to clubs often on weekends, but I generally hang out with my friends and do not approach often. I see a lot of guys try to approach and it is very unattractive--many come across as too aggressive, creepy, and uncalibrated.

Admittedly, I have not been on as many dates as I could have because I spent majority of the first 1.5 months splitting time between the first two girls and working. So my ask is this: how do you think I can see the most improvement? I usually only go after 7-8's, and I feel that it takes a lot of energy to maintain these girls as it is.

My first thoughts are this:
Go after the attractive girls in my group (these girls are objectively very attractive and get approached very frequently).
Cold approach 9/10s in the street to humble myself

Always appreciate your thoughts and thanks for reading.

[justforfun19713]

Congrats on the move... I made that relocation myself much later in life than most and have enjoyed NYC thoroughly... You will do well!

The nice thing about NYC is the fact that there are something like 3 to 4 women to every guy. With 8 million people, simple math tells us that you will have plenty of opportunities to make real mistakes and be able to recover with little to know issue. What's more, NYC is a great place to game at all levels... Whether it's online, apps, social, or cold approach, my suggestion is try all and then work on developing yourself on those you are not as good at.

Read up on the NYC thread to get ideas on places to go. The fact that you already recognize the importance of not coming across as creepy or aggressive will serve you well... I know people 2 and 3 x your age who have zero concept or understanding of what that means.

As far as the attractive girls in your group; My personal opinion would be to use them to get other girls. Think of them as ready-made social proof. I have often intentionally friend-zoned an attractive women and then told her, 'come out and be my wing.' She'll like it, and it works. Also, being humbled is a good thing as it relates to cold approaches. However, you may be surprised to learn how many women are getting off of online and apps and are rather open to the idea of being approached. Even if they are married, have a boyfriend, or are otherwise unavailable, if you can start a conversation with a pretty lady, she'll have friends... and just making that well-calibrated approach will put you in the top 1% of guys.

Good luck... You will do well I am sure!

[randomakakak]

(08-14-2017 08:52 PM)justforfun19713 Wrote:  

Congrats on the move... I made that relocation myself much later in life than most and have enjoyed NYC thoroughly... You will do well!

The nice thing about NYC is the fact that there are something like 3 to 4 women to every guy. With 8 million people, simple math tells us that you will have plenty of opportunities to make real mistakes and be able to recover with little to know issue. What's more, NYC is a great place to game at all levels... Whether it's online, apps, social, or cold approach, my suggestion is try all and then work on developing yourself on those you are not as good at.

Read up on the NYC thread to get ideas on places to go. The fact that you already recognize the importance of not coming across as creepy or aggressive will serve you well... I know people 2 and 3 x your age who have zero concept or understanding of what that means.

As far as the attractive girls in your group; My personal opinion would be to use them to get other girls. Think of them as ready-made social proof. I have often intentionally friend-zoned an attractive women and then told her, 'come out and be my wing.' She'll like it, and it works. Also, being humbled is a good thing as it relates to cold approaches. However, you may be surprised to learn how many women are getting off of online and apps and are rather open to the idea of being approached. Even if they are married, have a boyfriend, or are otherwise unavailable, if you can start a conversation with a pretty lady, she'll have friends... and just making that well-calibrated approach will put you in the top 1% of guys.

Good luck... You will do well I am sure!

Thanks for the advice. I'll keep going on the apps but also make an effort to be more active in person.