[jose123]

So, along my journey of day-game approaching, I have seen things that I do right and wrong. I still don't know exactly what/how I can fix them but I still continue to approach. Anyway, there are females that have their guard up as soon as I approach them(strangers), workers(waitresses, retail workers, clothing store, etc....), or even within the group(friends of friends). I do not have this problem with guys, they are show me respect and are friendly when I do talk to them.

THIS IS AFTER THEY HAVE SEEN ME. So, my question is, should I see this as a sign that I shouldn't approach or should I approach anyway, since you never know. Is there a different approach style I should open with, with these type of girls? Remember I'm a beginner, so my approach style now might be wrong when approaching girls like these.

[Rhyme or Reason]

You're coming off as weird over overly aggressive / obvious with your intent.

Try to run a diagnostic. I remember when I'd go home without getting any on nights out I would run through some of the interactions in my head and ask myself where I think it went wrong. The key is to try to be as objective as possible about it. It does take basic social skills to be able to determine where your failures were though. So instead of shooting in the dark and making the same mistakes over again try to recognize patterns and isolate what you're fucking up on. But i assure you, something is off.

Self awareness is one of those things in life you need to have just the right amount of...too little, you come off autistic or weird. Too much, you're an aspie nerd who will never approach.

Find a middle ground.

[gework]

I know a guy with virtually no barriers who isn't afraid of cold approaching the hottest girls all night. He's married and his wife encourages him to do it for some reason. However, I've never seen him be anything but rebuffed and it's because the way he talks to them is by kind of installing himself above them and talking down to them.

I've not cold approached, but with stuff like this I've always found the best way to proceed is to remove all your investment from the girl and just be natural.

I read half of Day Bang a couple of years ago on a plane. If I remember correctly, and have heard from other sources, there were recommendations to approach at physically unagressive angle, like talking to them from the side and not head on.

I wouldn't necessarily take it as this girl inherently sees you as unviable. In the past I've been approached by girls who were really loud and in my face and I just kind of shrugged them off even though I though they were quite attractive. It was just too much for my, at the time highly feminised, mind to deal with.

[Dalaran1991]

No way saying cold approaching is dead, but it's certainly getting harder. Girls are much more socially awkard these days, and I'm speaking from paris, where girls are generally more feminine and are used to getting approached.

The same girl who is totally open and sweet at a friend's party, can be a huge bitch while CAed on the street. Way too much online dating atrophy your social skills and alienate you to men.

Whenever a girl has their guard up, its not about attraction / value per se, it's more about social proof and pre-selection. That said it's not that hard to create a feeling of safety or "us vs them" in CAed.

[JayD]

How are you approaching? Are you making them stop and talking directly to them (Yad stop-esque) or are you approaching in different manners.

Different ways of approaching through day game that works for me;
- Start walking next to them and open and walk alongside them while gaming
- Sit close to them to where they are sitting and open after a minute or so
- Having a smoke and asking for a lighter, rolling cigarettes etc

[jose123]

I use environmental openers, I can't really recall the exact opener I use, but it seems to work unless I do or say something wierd( my sense of humour is wierd, I've been told). I bring my humour to a normal state when talking to girls, in comparison to before. I have noticed that I get better results when I act calm and relaxed when talking to girls I approach. I use to add more energy in the first dozen approaches. I have no problem approaching, just groups, but I eject cause I don't know what to say after 5-7ish minutes in.

[JayD]

You are saying a lot of things now. You have to break down your approach of what you do and how you come at them. I agree with Rhyme, your intent is showing and your body language makes the girls act and put their shields up.

Start logging your approaches, what you said, how you approached etc. Try to push every interaction as far as you can.

Run out of things to say?
- Oh shit, i have to go walk my dog
- Well it was nice talking to you, lets grab a coffee sometime?

Make an excuse and close

[jose123]

Do you have to disqualify yourself when approaching? I have watched others on youtube approach, but it seems obvious with their intent. I on the other hand go indirect most of the convo. Is that what I'm doing wrong?

[Hazaer]

(06-14-2017 08:38 PM)jose123 Wrote:  

So, along my journey of day-game approaching, I have seen things that I do right and wrong. I still don't know exactly what/how I can fix them but I still continue to approach. Anyway, there are females that have their guard up as soon as I approach them(strangers), workers(waitresses, retail workers, clothing store, etc....), or even within the group(friends of friends). I do not have this problem with guys, they are show me respect and are friendly when I do talk to them.

THIS IS AFTER THEY HAVE SEEN ME. So, my question is, should I see this as a sign that I shouldn't approach or should I approach anyway, since you never know. Is there a different approach style I should open with, with these type of girls? Remember I'm a beginner, so my approach style now might be wrong when approaching girls like these.

I would say half the time, their reactions to you is not because of you, its the other things happening in their life. However, if you are starting out in approaching, Approach in a non-threatening manner AND the best way to do it is to smile. Not the obvious smile that is not warranted unless something funny happened, its just that slight smile that shows you are just a normal friendly guy. A clip of an approach in the movies about just any actor just saying 'Hello' to a female stranger would suffice to illustrate this point. Sometimes, you being nervous or overly enthusiastic during the approach can be a turn off/appear suspicious to women and can even seem threatening but that is going to go off only with practice.