Quote: (09-01-2017 07:16 AM)ksbms Wrote:
Quote: (08-27-2017 03:42 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:
OK, guys, I've come back on grid to report on my latest progress. Yesterday, I ended an epic dry spell of almost 3 years and 5 months after I banged a HB6 that I picked up using direct approach game a few weeks before. She came to my apartment and stayed overnight.
![[Image: clap2.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/clap2.gif)
My hat off to you, sir.
It's not even as much about a new notch as having balls of steel - powering through over 1k approaches to relentlessly tweak up your game to make it happen is on its own an achievement that shouldn't be underestimated, especially doing day game.
Do you think you could break down how your game evolved over this 1k+ approaches and how has the responsiveness of the girls changed?
Which resources did you find most beneficial to improve your progress?
Where you taking notes, had a spreadsheet, etc.?
Did you have a date with this girl or she did come straight to your place?
What are the next steps that you're planning to undertake game wise?
Once again - congratulations, Feld!
First of all, thanks for the good wishes. Without the support and wisdom gleaned from this forum, as well as the online pick-up scene more generally, it's almost certain that I wouldn't have taken the route of direct daygame approach to address my dire predicament with women. When some commentators, in response to atrocities committed by sexually frustrated men lashing out in random acts of violence once they've reached the end of their rope, remark that game saves lives, this is something that my own recent experiences support in the strongest terms.
But before I come to address the specific points that you raised, ksbms, I'll just say the following by way of a preamble:
I know that to most of you guys on here, a single bang in five months of direct daygame is probably small beer and laughably small at that. But, for me, it's the payoff that all of my spadework has been toiling towards, however small and however late in the day, so I'm not complaining. And I'll be honest with you guys, here, on one important point: Almost 3.5 years of being incel is anything but a walk in the park and I can sympathize with any guy experiencing an extended bout in the sexual wilderness. In the last year or so I've visited, mentally- and spiritually-speaking, some very desolate locations and I am almost surprised that I am still here in this world, and in a much stronger form, given how hopeless my predicament with women had seemed until only very recently and the dark thoughts that had been circling around my soul, like ravens, threatening to devour it.
Now, to turn to the specifics of how I managed to secure my first bang my first bang from direct daygame:
Which resources were most beneficial to improving my progress? Well, I would probably have to divide this into two broad categories:
Mental and physical. On the mental side, first of all I would name resilience, bolstered by a seemingly innate dose of stubbornness, as the single most beneficial quality which allowed me to win through to the bang. Given how many flakes, rejections and dead-ends I have encountered, I know that there's no way I would have persisted had it not been for my sheer bloody-mindedness in pushing me forward in the face of the bitter harvest of blow-offs, sometimes quite obnoxious ones at that, in addition to the sundry false dawns, that are served up to me these days as my daily fare in my daygame journey.
The second beneficial quality, I would say, that has helped me propel myself forward is a sense of truly having nothing to lose any longer, with the possible exception of my sanity. Although this might sound strange to some reading this, until quite recently I had descended so far down into the dark well of inceldom and experienced the full force of its attendant torments, that I had come to fear a continuation of my present predicament as a significantly greater danger to my mental state than the far lesser prospect of having my ego cut down to size as a result of harsh blowoffs from women, however numerous they might turn out be. This single variable change in the calculus that is my non-existent sex life didn't just enable the development of a genuine zero fucks given mindset, I would go so far as to say it actually necessitated its development. It was through this that I came to appreciate what is meant in the saying that by having truly nothing to lose one gains a great deal of freedom of action, perhaps the ultimate freedom to act, indeed, which is the source of genuine power.
Lastly, the other personality quality I've cultivated which seems to make a real difference when I've been able to pull it off is that of going into a set with a powerful energy and with a strong frame. One of the mistakes that I noticed myself committing in my first interactions was that I was approaching the set almost apologetically. By this I mean that I would amble up to the woman and utter, in an almost supplicating tone of voice, "Excuse me, would you mind, ..." and the reaction was, of course, an almost universal one of rejection, sometimes laced with a dose of snark for good measure. When I found myself going into sets with a devil-may-care energy and outcome-independence, suddenly women seemed to start responding more warmly and were beginning to hook after I had merely delivered my compliment, with them immediately starting to ask me questions about where I am from, et.c. Not only this, but going in strong to a set drastically cut down on the bad attitude that I had been encountering from many women; it's almost as if they could sense that I wasn't some supplicating soyboy that could be fucked with anymore, but instead a man with a clear agenda in terms of what he wanted and what he was and wasn't prepared to put up with from a woman. In a nutshell, I came to realize that you sometimes get respect from others only on those occasions when you demand it and started acting accoringly.
As for the physical changes that I undertook which I believe have been of most benefit in securing my latest, and most significant, daygame success, I would place a consistent regimen of no-fap at the centre of it. This has provided me, more than any other change, with the mental and physical energy to pursue my goals - not just those concerning women, but other objectives besides. In addition to no-fap, which I am currently on day 102 of, I've been doing press-ups (currently up to 100 per session) and eating a diet made up of several portions of oily fish per week, which has helped me cope with the worst of my depression as a result of the dry spell that I found myself having to endure and has otherwise helped me stay on an even keel and keep me in the game for the long haul.
But the most significant and, to me, puzzling thing I would like to report on is the sheer inconsistency of my results over the last 5 months, amounting to some 1110 direct daygame approaches. On some days, I am completely invisible to women and whenever I look in a woman's direction, their heads flick almost with a contemptuous swiftness away from me, even the women that I wouldn't want to fuck, I might add. This includes, incidentally, women that I'm not even deliberately looking at, but who merely happen to be in my direct line of vision as I'm walking along the street. On days such as this, it probably won't come as much of a surprise to read that when I do make approaches, I'm almost certainly guaranteed to go away empty-handed, irrespective of how many approaches I put in. Yet, there are other days, such as today, when I feel a strange energy - not so much a physical energy, but more an energy of an intangible sort which results in a slightly blurred vision and feeling of dizziness, which, when present, seems to guarantee not just insane amounts of eye-fucking on the street, especially from the younger and more nubile female specimens, but converts smoothly into numbers and instadates. Understanding what is responsible for this state that I've come to refer to as "The Zone" that seems to open so many pussy doors is a key objective for my game analysis going forward.
For example, I instadated a woman today shortly after getting the number of a hot blonde in yoga pants who was power marching through the city centre with a scowling countenance which seemed expressly designed to ward off any guys who might think of having the temerity to approach her. In this interaction, even though she mentioned at first that she had no time - which, admittedly, was quite plausible given her hasty moves prior to my opening her - she quickly became intrigued and oddly compliant towards my requests, which, unusually for me, seemed to issue forth effortlessly from my lips. Usually, I would talk with the girl for some time before going for the number close after 5-10 minutes of building comfort and then tentatively go for the number only at the very end of the interaction. However, on this occasion, I asked her up front whether she was single and, after she said yes, and, with a somewhat shocked looked on her face, she then asked me whether I wanted to give her my number. I then said, no, since I'm the man, I'll take yours and simply took out my phone and told her to give me hers. She complied and even went to trouble to correct me several times after I'd typed in the wrong one. It then struck me that on the rare occasions that I've pulled HB8s onto dates, it's been situations like these, where I've practically rolled up to the bitches like I was their pimp collecting my dues and simply laid it on the line in terms of what I wanted from them, with very little comfort building, if any, that I've had the most success in opening sets. Although I wasn't unfriendly in the way I spoke to any them, I still said it in such as way was a mixture of business-like briskness and cockiness, like I'm ordering a bucket of chicket wings from KFC and joking with with the staff as I'm waiting. Whenever I've been able to pull this off, good things have happened and the quality of woman has been of a very high calibre, in terms of youth and looks. Top shelf totty, indeed, even if I do say so myself. But, much to my chagrin, and as I've described in my other posts, I've nearly always ballsed up the dates by then running don't-fuck-up game which, paradoxically, always ensured the result came about that I had tried so assiduously to avoid, to wit, that the girl does a houdini after the date.
As for my recent bang, I had met up with her twice on "dates", although it was pretty clear even after the first date what the deal was with her. She was a clear yes girl, probably already in a harem with other guys she keeps for casual bangs and I was simply in the right place at the right time with the right approach. She has already made it clear that she's not interested in a conventional relationship but does want to bang now and again in the future and that it was my looks more than anything that hooked her. But, she gives the impression of being quite flaky, so I'm not putting too much store on whether she turns up on the radar again or whether it's just been a one bang wonder with her. In any case, I have come to see neediness as my greatest enemy in my dealings with women and game as the ultimate tool in remedying this and that I need to press ahead with my approaches to obtain further leads, so as to develop an abundance mentality to act as a self-propelling wheel which power my daygame cart to new lengths.
On the question of whether I keep notes, yes, I do. I have a black book where I detail my daily approaches in terms of total number made that day, whether I obtained any telephone numbers, instadates, type of set, et.c., including total number of approaches put in since I started at the beginning of April this year. I have found this has helped when it comes to spotting patterns in the responsiveness of sets, amongst other things.
Now to perhaps the most interesting question for me, ksbms, namely, what I plan to do going forward with my game: As I said earlier in my post, my key priority at the moment is figuring out what is going on with me when I manage to enter "The Zone" and are able to pull not just instadates, including two in one day on some days, but also get some decent escalation going during a few of them recently, including kissing and make outs. One factor that I'm exploring is how testosterone levels when I'm on a no-fap streak affect my performance and how this surge in testosterone seems to support the cultivation of an energetic aura which is responsible, in ways that I can't quite fathom just yet, for these infrequent but unambiguous successes. I observed on several occasions prior to my current long no-fap streak how, after I hadn't ejaculated for 5 days, the attention from women - in terms of eye-fucking and approach receptivity - would ramp up from almost zero to very noticeable levels; it's as if a switch had been flipped for me, it was so strong. In support of this observation, it's an interesting fact that scientific studies have established that testosterone levels peak at around day 5 of a no-fap streak and then plateau thereafter. So, I'm currently informing myself of ways in which I can bolster my testosterone levels, through physical exercise, diet and also through the avoidance of ingesting testosterone-lowering substances, such as peppermint tea and other nutritional items, so that I can be in "The Zone" during a greater percentage of my approaches.
On a more strategic note - and I can highly recommend this to newbies dipping their toes in the waters of direct daygame - make sure you ask a girl up front whether she's single or not. This doesn't just save you time - up to a quarter of an hour can be wasted comfort building before the girl trumps your number close move by deploying her bombshell "I have a boyfriend" card with a smug grin, but it also sets the frame into one in which you are getting her to qualify herself from the get-go. By asking a girl whether she is single, immediately after you've delivered the saccharine, ego-massaging compliment, she knows that your attention is strictly conditional on her being single - or at least saying she is - and that this in and of itself is enough to create a compliance mindset, in which they suddenly become extra nice towards you after they've been forced to admit they have a significant other and who then try to persuade me to stay in the set after they see that I now just want to eject. At this point you've flipped the script and it's a delicious feeling of control which, if you carry it forward into new sets, can only do you good. This strategic move is one that, believe it or not, I've only just adopted today, but judging by the response thus far, it shows quite some promise, for the reasons I've just described.
Anyway fellow RVFers, thanks for the feedback and support. I'll keep you posted on any significant developments.
Over and out.
