Quote: (04-20-2017 07:29 PM)Cobra Wrote:
OP, first of all I understand your frustration and commend your ability to transcend stereotypes but your disdain for your fellow Indians is quite disheartening.
India is my homeland and in my opinion, your gratuitous and generalized attempt to attack it are overly unjustified. I'm proud of who I am and transcend stereotypes of my race but do my best to respect my culture and respect differences. Now, Indians, especially men, have a bad reputation due to some fairly bad apples that make us look bad. Trust me that wound is very fresh and the rest of us don't need anyone to rub salt into it. You come in and do that in a grandstanding way. I mean, on a predominantly western forum, you will not receive much criticism for it.
Luckily, this forum is open enough that it allows for alternate perspectives. So I will say my piece in response to your very question of "What would you do in my shoes." First of all, I would stop shitting on the entire culture, your own culture. You are likely hanging out with the wrong people first of all. There are plenty of middle to upper class men and women in New Delhi or Mumbai that I could have a great time with. I know many of them and also keep in touch with them. They have more class than some Americans I know albeit their number is small. When I was in Delhi, I hung around with them and their families and they were nothing but hospitable, open, stylish and fun in my opinion.
You generally walk into an Indian home, you get treated like a god. That hospitality is unsurpassed to me. On top of that the art and culture, if you really decide to enjoy it, is some of the best out there, especially the classical music. I speak 2 Indian languages and still try to learn as much as possible about the culture because I'm genuinely interested. So this is not coming from a bad place.
Speaking of arranged marriages, that system was developed to keep classes within each other and to pass on your legacy. Yes, it's very traditional and makes no damn sense, but let's look at the other side. You have western forum members complaining how the western culture has gotten degenerative and women are not traditional anymore. Well, you have India where they are. Sure they are not stunners or even average but their existence and its purpose is not the same as it is for the west. Women over there toil and toil very hard to take care of not only their husbands and kids but also often times grandparents and others in the family. I mean most traditional Indian women can cook a hell of a meal. I don't care if they're ugly because I'm not trying to bang them. They just deserve my respect for following traditions and doing their best to keep their families happy. We kick and scream that the west has lost that but when we see it elsewhere, we come up with excuses to hate on it.
As for the men, yes they come across as dirty douchebags when they're poor or lower middle class; and a lot are. However, guess what, here comes tradition again. My family was somewhat poor. My father worked his ass off after leaving his hometown only to send money back to his siblings and his parents so they could be well off. He felt an obligation to his family. Once we were born, he cut out as much as he could but he still helped, taking away from us in the process at some level. He moved his entire family including me and my sister over at the age of 40 to the USA just to give us a better life. The man is not socially there and he is not exactly the alpha red pill white guy. However, I have more respect for him than I could ever express to him because he gave up a lot to work hard and provide for his family so they wouldn't have to suffer. That's with almost no marketable skills. This describes many men in India. Sure, I wouldn't hang out with them because I'm fairly westernized but that doesn't mean I don't respect them. I'm actually glad I can be in their company and feel a sense of self that I otherwise don't have amongst their American counterparts.
The irony of you laying it thick on India and Indians is:
-You ARE Indian
-You were welcomed into India, selling services to Indians (I presume) and shitting on them and the entire country
This is akin to some of the FOB Indian dudes that come to America, hang out with their own and shit on the American culture constantly even though Americans have welcomed them with open arms and provide them many resources if they want to use them. These are the race trolls that I absolutely despise and I also attack them for killing the reputation of other Indian men. I'm equal opportunity in that sense.
You have a decent reputation on the forum and I respect that. It's not easy to transcend social boundaries set by an arcane culture. That said, I respect India's traditions and own up to them even if there is a huge fight against both them and the Indians that don't know any better. I used to be just like you and I hated everything about India. On top of that, I tried very hard to be American, even joining the US Navy in the process. I have been very successful in my career and life and am the top sales person in our practice (an American consulting firm). Technically I'm as American as they come. However, I'm who I am because of my culture, my upbringing and my work ethic which are all Indian.
I may get flak for this post but it's tough to see your culture being spit on by one of your own. From that perspective, I hope people can understand that this is something worth defending.
This is 100% true.
testos, I don't think you understand what life can actually be like here in America. This is possibly one of the most fragmented, cold, and impersonal societies in the world. We have 66% divorce rate, unspeakable hypergamy, destroyed family structures, and a rampantly rising rate of mental illness. To be completely honest, massive swathes of America are composed of either suburbs (completely lacking in culture) or ghettos (more dangerous, drug-infested, and fucked up than the ones in India, in many ways). Family, stability, integrity, and tradition aren't really things that people care about here, at least not on the west coast where I grew up. Certain parts of America may be an exception -- I've never been to the South, for example -- but life in liberal parts of the country can definitely have some disadvantages.
I was born and raised in America, and yeah, I would much rather live here than in India. But at the same time, I think you might want to be a little more thankful and more cognizant of what India has to offer. If you really want some travel experiences just to go fuck girls and enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere, I guess I would recommend somewhere in SEA. Dubai actually might be a good choice for you, there are tons of Indians from the upper and upper-middle classes, lots of extremely hot Indian women there too. I'm not sure how open of a society it is -- I've only been there to visit family -- but that's another potential option for you.
I get that the filth and barbarism of India must get to you. It certainly gets to me, even though the longest I've stayed there is a total of two weeks. And yeah, the culture can be infuriating. Anyone of Indian descent will know exactly what you're talking about. Indian culture is honestly at one of it's lowest points in history. The country stands at the intersection of brutal Islamic invasions, the imposition of retarded Victorian morals, economic ruination from colonialism, and now the increased materialism and prosperity from globalism. So I get where you're coming from. But you really shouldn't dismiss the value of a place where you probably have a giant extended family, a big group of friends, and generally a society that you are 100% a part of.
I'm Indian-American, I agree with Cobra in that I don't feel like I 100% belong here. To be honest, though, I don't think anyone does, regardless of their background. I doubt the same holds true for India.
But if you want to just escape to a cleaner, nicer country with hotter girls, just take a bunch of vacations to the Phillipines, honestly. Or go to Africa, if you thought your Kenyan friend was attractive. You could probably clean up in both places.