[Bycicleguy]

I did it when I had sex with a clingy girl that didn't really enjoy sex, she was basically a corpse and then after we finished she acted like if I owed her my soul for letting me do it.

[Stroked351w]

(04-11-2017 09:26 PM)Truth Tiger Wrote:  

(04-11-2017 03:02 PM)Odin.fils.de.bor Wrote:  

(04-11-2017 02:09 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Let me ask you a few questions:

What exactly are your regrets after a ONS with women ?

What do you mean "is it worth the price to be a player" ?

What are your fears about a ONS ?

1- My regrets is that i know some girls from my college and i slept with them despite knowing that they are snakes and spray venom while speaking and the fact that i still can meet them during my studies and that i know how bitchy and entitled they are makes me feel bad.

2- to play the game , to succeed the kind of shit tests, to know exactly how and when to respond, be aloof and make them feel that being with you is worth it but i rarely felt enjoying my time with most of them. and it seems like when other girls see you with other women they get more excited to know you. woman's psychology...
as i said before, being a player usually mean not being yourself, because in someway you're trying to impress the women, and many are not worth it.

3- it must be psychological, i feel dirty when sleeping with a slutty woman, maybe it doesn't make me happier and it just makes me feel bad about giving her pleasure and having shared an intimate moment with her.

To answer your original question - yes, I have. The times I have regretted sleeping with someone was when I felt I had gone against some inner voice or knowing about their character and possible negative/harmful outcomes. You can call it intuition, sixth-sense, common sense, the voice of experience of whatever you want but I have learned to listen to the quiet inner voice, which in times of possible or certain danger is saying to you 'don't do it, don't do it...' If you don't listen to that intuition, you're likely to experience a sick feeling in your chest and stomach afterward, or during. I know too well.

We are far more than just bags of conscious meat - there's a soul animating each of us and each soul has a purpose and motivation that's unique. I'm a big proponent of finding your purpose, moving toward your goals, and letting the right kind and quality of women appear.

A few women I've had sex with felt like they were a kind of energetic vampires - I had a vague sense of concern at first, but was beguiled by their sexiness or my lust in the moment. After sex I felt drained and uncomfortable. The farther away I got (as in, literally getting in my car and driving away) the better (or less-bad!) my body felt. It could take a full day or even two to get back to feeling neutral, calm, and peaceful.

I've also had really amazing sex, passionate, tender, animalistic, all kinds of expressions but it felt in sync and positive. But I've found the wilder the girl, the more likely I'll feel bad to some degree afterward. I could deal with this more easily in my 20s, but now I'm far more selective about who I have sex with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you feel and the thoughts that are coming up as a result of it. I have had my fair share of notches and could get more but as I hit my late 30s and early 40s, other goals and demands of life started to take precedence.

My suggestion to you is to examine what your motivations are for pursuing sex. Most people don't consider the reasons. Perhaps you need a period of self-imposed celibacy to get clear of other people's sexual energy and the cattiness/gossip around you. As a man, getting space is sometimes the hardest thing to do but I got to a point like you're describing - in my case, having two very intense and somewhat crazy relationships going on at once - before I said 'enough! No more sex until I figure out what sex really means for ME!' I didn't know what to expect but I knew I needed space.

If you examine David Deida (lots of videos and podcasts on Youtube) he talks about this as going from the 1st stage of co-dependent relationship to the 2nd stage of independence. I couldn't actually have relationships that were healthy for me until I took a break from them and looked at myself. Counseling, solo travel, journaling, working out, picking up new hobbies or reigniting old ones, making new guys friends or connecting with guys you used to hang out with. But mostly, just being alone and getting to be comfortable with myself. It's like when you go in the middle of the desert or a forest and it's totally still and you can hear the blood pumping in your ears and you realize you haven't heard silence like that before.

Get comfortable with yourself and you will have deeper intuition, you will attract better quality women and they will see your real depth, not some made-up player facade. You're welcome to PM if you have more questions or would like other specific recommendations. Good luck in your journey, brother!

I am very fond of this response. I'm happy to see that others find spirituality important. I spend a lot of time alone and reflect on things often. I feel like this is the reason I'm always so content.

[Sisyphus]

Last year I had a FWB who I was banging raw (she had an IUD). She said she was being exclusive (which I believe), but she told me it was OK if I had other chicks as long as I wrapped it up with them which I think was fair. I banged some nasty chick raw in a very desperate moment. I carried on with the FWB knowing I could've been giving her an STD and I didn't have the guts to tell her or just break it off. That was a moral failure on my part and I regret that.

As for this:

(04-11-2017 03:02 PM)Odin.fils.de.bor Wrote:  

it just makes me feel bad about giving her pleasure and having shared an intimate moment with her.

Whatever - her pleasure is just an incidental result of your pleasure. If she's such a depraved bitch then fuck her as hard as you can for as long as you can. Maybe it won't be so pleasurable for her and then you solve that problem.

[Yang_Wang]

My situation was slightly different, but I feel it contributes.

I'd known these people for a couple of years. The semester that I went to the same university, I blended right into their group. They were the outcasts of campus, for one reason or another. Drama students.

So, a couple of weeks before I left for basic training, we all went to a party someone they knew was hosting. Towards the end of the night, I was having a cigarette with one of them, and he tells me they usually all go back to someone's apartment after a party. I knew what he was getting at, and I was drunk, so I was all for it.

So, the afterparty begins. We're all (7) naked trading and sharing girls (none of them real lookers; the best one was maybe a 5 - a New England 5), there are toys involved, being put in places that I never really thought I would be putting things. Everyone finishes, and I go home. The next morning (Sunday), I wake up and just sit there. I felt cheap. It was the weirdest feeling. At the time, and writing this now, it's difficult to elaborate on the feeling. I suppose the closest thing I can come up with would be an analogy to the Antique Road Show - remember that show?

It's like if you had this lamp. And you were super proud of this lamp, not in an overt, endearing way, but more in a pious way. So you bring the lamp to the Show, and place it on the table, with your relaxed smirk making your expectations of its worth obvious. And then, the appraiser looks at you, and instead of saying anything, show you the alibaba website where you can buy 7 exact copies $0.50 combined.

That moment, right there. That's how I felt the morning after.

EDIT: I don't talk to those people anymore.

[TooFineAPoint]

[Chiosboy90]

For me, I have 3 reasons to feel bad/guilty after sex.

1.) I slept with a fat or ugly women.

I remember when I picked up a fat chick when I was drunk. Very very hot face. Red hair and when I was drunk, I thought she Is not that fat. I banged her and was happy. Some weeks after I met her in daytime. I was shocked. Banged her but I should just have left with some excuses. Very sweet girl maaaaan she was fat. I showered a lot after that "thing". Lol.

2.) Sleeping with a fucked up dirty whore.

I'm very into the Gothic/Metalcore chicks. Problem is, they are mostly fucked up in the head. As hot as the sex is, I do regret it sometimes cause they are no women to enjoy outside of the bedroom and I like to talk and BETA cuddle after sex. Can't do that with this skanks.

3.) Sleeping with a hooker

After "that one girl that went away" we all mostly had, I fucked some hookers. Regretted it every time. There was one hooker I remember very well. After like 3-4 minute fucking her she looked at me and said: "did you came?" in a very annoyed voice. Turned me off like nothing. I nutted in her and left and decided no more hookers.