[The Catalyst]

Hey guys. I'd been daygaming on and off for a couple years, I've gotten a lot better with your help, being more confident with my social and game skills.

I don't game that often, but when I do I would go to the city to crank out a few approaches. I try not to let rejection get to me, since it happens so often. I'm not a social circle person and I haven't had a girlfriend ever, so I feel that this is one of the only ways for me to proceed with girls. At the same time, I have to have an abundance mentality.

There's always a few things holding me back psychologically. For instance, I don't game anywhere near as often as I should, so I'm in the state of near perma-rust, and AA is still a thing in my way, and I let go of a few girls which I "shouldn't" simply because I was too nervous/scared at the time and couldn't think of something to say. I would also feel really bad about fucking up the opener etc, that I wasn't performing as well as I should. Same with talking after a few minutes, if the girl isn't a natural/semi-natural conversationalist who gives me something back, I would struggle to think of something more to say to continue the convo, the only thing would be to ramble on about something I autistically like, but I realise girls don't care for that. I try to confidently play off the "awkward" silences as if they're not, but objectively it's worse than if it didn't happen.

Also for instance being in a set where the girl doesn't seem that interested, or seems to have no chance logistically(having a boyfriend in a sense, being a tourist here on a short time, staying with her parents, staying too far from the CBD[because I don't have a car and can't bounce to my place], a set with a group where I can't seem to manage them all). I realise a lot of those obstacles can be overcome, but oftentimes I feel the odds are stacked way too against me, I feel I have to continue with the interaction anyway for practice' sake, but(irrationally?) I'm mad at myself for wasting time/effort on a "dead" set, but if I leave, I probably would be mad at myself for not sticking through it, because getting a girl to talk to me again is a moderate amount of effort.

At the same time, the few sets in which I really seem to connect with a girl and share our personalities and have a good conversation really put me on a high, that's probably ultimately worth it in the end, especially since I'm getting better with girls and there's a decent chance it will go to the next level. But all of the stress, nervousness, tiredness, feelings of being a failure, as well as the highs, put me on an emotional rollercoaster, which often times I feel I can't handle.

Any tips?

[XXL]

Game is messy. And random as fuck especially cold approach. Get used to it. It is like walking into a dark cave you have never been to. You know what you cam expect (everything) but do not know what will actualy happen next time.

Quote:

... obstacles can be overcome, but oftentimes I feel the odds are stacked way too against me, I feel I have to continue with the interaction anyway for practice' sake, but(irrationally?) I'm mad at myself for wasting time/effort on a "dead" set, but if I leave, I probably would be mad at myself for not sticking through it, because getting a girl to talk to me again is a moderate amount of effort.

Game to have fun sometimes and other times focus on pure practice. Keep some kind of balance not to go crazy. It can happen if you overdo it.

[PainPositive]

Honestly man you sound like you're really fragile and have a weak mind.

You admit to not putting in the work and let your fears and anxieties control you. I don't think you're going to get a lot of love considering those two facts and yet I still feel bad for you.

I don't want any man to struggle so hard for so long at something that's so safe and easy. Imagine your ancestors and what they went through to make their way in the world. While I don't know all the problems in your life I'm sure you have it way easier than they did. And yet you are still here. That means they didn't fail and ultimately you were born because of that.

Since you've been at this two whole years and haven't put in the honest effort to better yourself I have little hope for you. I recommend you start to get serious about your life and understand that if you don't you'll always feel the same way you do now.

As far as you sticking in the set for practice sake goes it tells me you at least know what you need to do to become successful with women. Practice.

In regards to you not having a car and being able to bounce back to your place you're killing yourself. It's 10x harder to get a woman to come back to your place if it's far away. That's just the truth. At this point your only option is to do whatever you need to to get your logistics set up properly. (Get a job, car and or a better located apartment)

Before you even do that you should practice escalating. I always make fun of guys who brag about making out with hot chicks at the bar (Did you hold hands too mate? -Brisey) but in your case you should practice escalating. Kissing, feeling her up, squeezing her ass, putting her hand on your dick, your hand down her pants etc. See how far you can go and you'll be surprised what you get out of it.

Stop whining about being fragile and keep pushing. If you are interested in improving your mindset get the book "Gorilla Mindset" and read it twice while you do all the things I said.

Keep reporting back here too. This forum can have some tough advice at times but you'll probably get the advice you need to hear rather than pity and empty encouragement. Good luck.

[The Catalyst]

You're right, I probably do have a bit of a weak mind. I can't expect to change overnight but I will keep pushing. Also would look into Gorilla Mindset, heard a lot about it.

[Harami]

Try to soak in 'the high' to its maximum. Make a mental 'what to do' list from these approaches. Ignore the bad approaches as soon as they end. They're just to see 'what not to do' in future. This is what I'm doing. Some wise member also said - don't burn out in the process, take breaks if you have to. Ultimately we're doing it for self-improvement, and have a little fun while we're at it. Sum up 'feel stressed and feel like a failure' into feeling down, don't go too into it. That way you know you will 'feel up' sooner or later.
Good luck!

[TheMaleBrain]

Don't put everything into daygame.
Find other activities - go to meetups, gym and so on.

Go for the "100 days plan" - approach 1 girl every day for 100 days.
This will make AA vanish, and you'll go on dates and may also bang

[The Catalyst]

Thanks for the responses guys.

I've gotten Gorilla Mindset and read a lot. I've learned that I've been a very harsh critic on myself, and I should talk to myself more positively. Also I've realised that thinking of things as obligations really screws with me- I shut down and really don't want to do them. But if I reframe it as something I could do and want to do, then it really helps a lot more.