[Agastya]

Has anyone accomplished this? I've had to move around repeatedly over the last year, and found that constantly uprooting myself was emotionally exhausting. Not least because it's difficult to make genuinely good friends when you only live in a place for a couple months. This, moreover, was in situations where I was thrown together with a bunch of other college kids. I can't imagine what life will be like after graduation, when socializing becomes significantly less easy (I think?)

[Nordwand]

An article in the UK press a little while back cited a university study, which reckoned that to establish yourself in a new location, find your way around, make friends, etc, took two years. I've moved around regularly throughout my adult life, and can vouch for the validity of this - just as I was getting my life in order, I moved on.

Add to this the fact that over the next few years your school friends will start moving away with work, getting married, and so on. If you're constantly moving yourself, and losing touch with back home, you can find your circle of friends dwindling rapidly.

No solution to offer, but hopefully being aware of this will help you to avoid the situation I find myself in now!

[The Beast1]

The only solution I have to offer is to not care. The real world is nothing like school or college and you should get used to

Talk to people and become acquanted with those you see in your daily life. That's how you make friends. But don't feel bad, they will come and go.

[John Michael Kane]

It isn't that hard to make new friends as an adult.

Here's just a few of the ways I've made news friends in my 30's:

- Church
- Music concerts
- Town Hall meetings
- Political gatherings
- Meetup.com and Facebook Local Groups
- The Gym
- The Library
- Volunteering http://www.volunteermatch.org

More than half the battle is getting out of the house. Take a few of the venues above and you'll be sure to meet some new folks in no time.

[Monxp]

Go to the army. It will give you a great common experience which can be used to amplify your friendship to last for a lifetime.

[Que enspastic]

Move to an international city : easy

[VKdog]

I find the best way to make friends with people is through common hobbies or interests, also friendship is so overated, friendship is only great if you are friends with great people.

[Coldfire]

I joined a fraternity some of the best friends I've ever had.

[Peregrine]

(01-21-2017 03:40 AM)Agastya Wrote:  

Has anyone accomplished this? I've had to move around repeatedly over the last year, and found that constantly uprooting myself was emotionally exhausting. Not least because it's difficult to make genuinely good friends when you only live in a place for a couple months. This, moreover, was in situations where I was thrown together with a bunch of other college kids. I can't imagine what life will be like after graduation, when socializing becomes significantly less easy (I think?)

I wouldn't bother trying to build lasting friendships at a place you're only staying at for a few months. You can't build serious friendships that quickly under normal circumstances.

[markygras]

Yes. I read that the key to making friends post-college is to establish "routine interaction" with them, which then develops into friendship. I've gotten phenomenal success from sports social leagues and latin dance classes

[zatara]

Sports. Sports are by far the easiest way to make friends with other guys who're sociable and moderately healthy. ie, ones with a decent chance of being good wingmen.

Join a rugby or similar team when you arrive in a new city and you'll stay fit and make friends quickly.

[Hypno]

(01-21-2017 02:15 PM)Coldfire Wrote:  

I joined a fraternity some of the best friends I've ever had.

how were you able to do that AFTER college?

[Biologist]

I think its very hard. I have made a lot of friends after university, but interestingly I wouldn't call any of them "lifelong" friends, or even close friends. All of the friends whom I consider close and/or lifelong I made during school or university.

The new friends I make seem to come and go, but I will always have my lifelong friends.

[Moreless]

Step 1: Find an activity you like (Rock climbing, gym, yoga, coding, etc)

Step 2: Do "Step 1" activity 2 or 3 times weekly

Step 3: Talk to people doing your "Step 1" activity. Ask them questions and learn. This makes people feel important and needed. People love to feel important and needed. While doing this you'll find the regulars and people who "click" with your personality

Step 4: Ask them if they want to do "Step 1" activity or get food at a different venue

Step 5: Stay in contact with people you like and be the instigator for new events

"Step 5" is the hardest for me and I imagine everyone. If people don't invite me out I'm fine staying at home. If you aren't having experiences with that individual you aren't building a stronger friendship. So you gotta keep building memories with them!!


A lot of peoples friends after college end up being their work colleagues. That's because they are spending countless hours in the trenches of their work environment. That's why all the waiters and waitresses from a restaurant all go to the dive bar next to their work. Because of their shared experiences they become a tight group of "brothers" and "sisters" all fighting for the same cause.

You have to create or join a fight/cause with an individual. This could be training for an Mud Run or obstacle race, training for your first Rock Climb tournament, or building a program from the ground up.

Or join the military - I hear those guys all have great bonds with each other. No artificial challenges there

[Ranch Hand]

As a reference, I'm well-qualified for the over-40 threads in the Game forum.

I have found that my number of "friends" really never gets much bigger than what I had in my college and military experience. I have many acquaintances, most of them I like and even some I admire, but few friends. The friends I do have are solid for me and I am solid for them.

You are here, on RVF, so you have had a red pill experience. Say goodbye to deep "friendships" with most men. This is not to belittle them or dwell on Alpha/Beta distinctions, it is just a meaningful change in your life. I know 60 year old men that have been divorce-raped twice and still fucking refuse to take the red pill - moving onto a gold-digger wife less than a year later (sans prenup). I can be friendly with him, even look out for him and help him, but I know he and I will never have the level of friendship I desire to really have a closeness. I like and admire him in many ways, but I see his decision-making as flawed. We can be resources to each other, but I question his counsel.

When/If you get married, your "old friend" isolation will likely get worse. Women know how to monopolize the friend market, and you will find yourself deeper in beta-bitch hell if you don't protect your own interests. I have lived this mistake, embarrassingly. When the divorce came, I was a lonely, overworked dude (the social network usually sticks with the woman). Thankfully I have developed a much thicker skin (less needy of woman-level hen "friends") and the few old buddies I have are rock-solid.

I would rather have a fewer number of solid buddies than a higher number of fair weather friends.

I really like John Michael Kane's recommendations and will be following them to increase my social network. Maybe these will mostly be superficial friends, but at least they can add to enjoyment in life.

[SiverFox]

Join a rugby team.

[Isaac Jordan]

Can't believe I'm the first person in this thread to point out the obvious: fellow RVFers.

While I still have some good friends from adolescence/college, all my closest friends today are guys I've met through the Forum. Anyone who isn't taking every opportunity to turn these online connections into real-life friendships is seriously missing out.

Maybe some folks stop at game, but for me, taking the red pill completely changed the way I view the world. The more I read the Forum/manosphere, the more I realized these were the only people I knew who shared my beliefs on just about everything that was important to me. And like Ranch Hand mentions above, once you've unplugged from the Matrix you just can't enjoy true, deep friendships with the sheeple any more.

So I started making a dedicated effort to meet up with Forum guys, either in the city in which I was living or whenever I happened to be visiting somewhere else. At times I would luck out and befriend someone living nearby; other times I'd just really get along with a guy I'd meet when one of us was visiting and we'd keep in contact via phone/text/PM.

Given the nature of the guys on the Forum, it's inevitable that some of us will move cities or start traveling more frequently, which is perhaps the one downside of relying on the RVF as your primary source of friends. But with modern technology it's easy to keep in touch, and not difficult at all to organize a meetup every now and then.

For example, just last month, myself and three other RVFers rented out a penthouse for a week in a Mexican beach town, where another mutual RVF friend happened to be living at the time. By pooling our resources (and picking a country with a favorable exchange rate) we were not only able to have an awesome, affordable vacation, but also enjoyed spending time together in person when we all live in various states/countries. We created a group chat for the trip, but kept it going even after it ended, and we've all become better friends because of it.

Depending on where you live this may or may not be as feasible as it's been for me, but I highly recommend giving it your best shot if you haven't already. It sounds crazy, but some of my best friends today are guys that I've known for less than a year. It just doesn't feel that way, due to the deep mutual knowledge of game, the true nature of reality, a drive for self-improvement, etc.

Most of these guys have already significantly improved my life, with personalized advice on everything from health and fitness, to finance and investing, to, of course, game and harem management. While I still enjoy reading and posting here on the Forum, at this point it's become less of a destination in and of itself and more of a vehicle for me to connect in real life with cool, high-quality guys.

Finally, I guess this is the part where I should mention: if you ever find yourself in Austin, Texas, look me up

[yankeetravels]

This is an interesting question I have thought about as someone who just graduated college. I'll give you guys the scenario I'm currently in. For the friendships I established through high school and college, I want to say I hung out with about 20 guys regularly through an 8-year period. I don't know how other red pill guys feel about this, but I never really had any female friends. Never believed in platonic friendships and the ones I am friends with are either my sister (though we heavily disagree on male vs. female dynamics in the first world) and a girl I slept with already that's on the opposite side of the world that I talk to a lot. Anyway of the guys I'm currently friends with, I see about 4-6 of them actually being lifelong friends. Most were just campus or school acquaintances I used to get by but my serious friends are ones I've been friends with for about 10 years. I've heard a saying that once you pass the seven year mark, you usually keep those friends.

I believe the key is to maintain texts and phone contact when you can't physically be with each other. This is how I've maintained a lot of my friendships and I have learned this to develop new ones. This may not be ideal to people here, but I honestly believe the best way to make friends past college is to find internet groups that share common interests, start talking to a couple of people, and try to meet up with people you vibe with or if you are visiting that area. I have used this strategy countless times to develop or legitimize friendships that originated via the internet.

Honestly, I think the reasons I started doing that are because I'm an introvert, I never tolerated the gossip culture of things I just frankly didn't care about on high school or college campuses as well as young work environments like the service industry, and I also think I knew subconsciously that I was going to need to adopt that strategy a lot more often once college was over. I have done it successfully in the past by using a common interest. I expanded these friendships by first meeting at mutual locations, then met up across the country at common interest events, and then when I decided to take a cross-country roadtrip last summer, I used these friendships to my advantage while validating them by asking if I could stay at their houses along the way. This takes time though and I knew these guys at least a year each. Hell I even took a 10-hour roadtrip with a dude I never met in person before but we both had mutual friends.

My point is that if you explore your common interests or views, you will find people in the era of the internet from all over the world. This was part of my inspiration for joining RVF. I knew guys had successful friendships from here that have like-minded views on the world. Of course I probably won't meet anyone from here anytime soon with me only being a member for a month, but I'm confident it could happen eventually once I start back up traveling and build a solid reputation here.

Though I might be one of the rare people that can have a brother-like friendship with blue pill men. Trust me I bring up my red pill thoughts all the time with them and we have had endless debates, but we look past it because we have an Entourage-like loyalty to each other and don't let it get in the way of our friendship because we are all aware how hard it is to find friends like us after college and we've been through a lot together. Part of what helps is that we are pretty split on blue pill versus red pill. Out of the five of us in the main group, a friend and I are both firmly in the red pill camp, two of them are firmly in the blue pill camp, and then I have one friend kind of in the middle. I'd say he's a purple pill.

Good luck guys and carry on your friendships!