[h5757]

The problem I’m having right now is that I’m getting stuck sending messages that are basically just small talk (movies and music). I’m having trouble building a connection with women on there and I feel like I’m stuck going back and forth talking about things that won’t create attraction. I don’t have an interesting life or any interesting hobbies, so I can’t really talk about anything exciting (I don’t travel and I’m not very social). I do have a college degree and a job that pays decent salary that I’m also passionate about (it’s in the STEM field). Music and movies are my go-to topic for getting to know women through messages and I also like to use witty banter. I don’t feel that it’s going anywhere though.

Here’s a sample conversation:

My initial message:
What's your favorite episode of [TV show she listed on her profile]? And what's your favorite song by [band she listed on her profile]? By the way, do I get brownie points for messaging you with something other than “ur hot”?

Her initial response:
The first one of the first series was my favorite, since it was the most disturbing! yours? Yes, you would earn points if I had a point system for a better message than "hey, what's up?", "Hi" , "I think yer cute".

My response:
I totally agree that the first episode was the most disturbing. My favorite is definitely [my favorite episode]. I like how the third season has such great political commentary. I’ve heard that [TV show she listed on profile] is a lot like [similar TV show], so I’m kind of interested in checking out [similar TV show that’s old], although I don’t know if it has aged well. I highly recommend you check out the song [song I like] by [band I like], since you like [band on her profile that’s similar to band I like]. I bet you lbs10 (I don’t know how to insert the British symbol for pounds and this is my attempt at being clever) that you’ll like it. I’ve been listening to it on repeat all day. One of my quirks is that I listen to a song on repeat for hours or days if I really like it. Do you have any interesting quirks?

Also, if you ever get a dog, definitely name him [joke name for a dog on her profile]. It has this really tough Roman gladiator vibe. My boss from back in the day named her dog titan, but he was really small.

Her second response:
I would name my dog [joke name on her profile] only if he looked like a glutton and had slobbery jowls, it would be more fitting.

I liked [my favorite episode of TV show on her profile], it seems like every season of [same TV show] has a lot of political commentary. Perhaps the upcoming Trumpocalypse will provide fodder for future [same TV show] seasons!

I'll check em out. I do that too with songs, I just hate when I ruin the initial high the song first gave me by listening to it too many times

-----

I responded by asking her what she does for a living, since she was very vague in her profile. I asked if she’s an artist and that I used to take art classes when I was a kid and mentioned some details about that. I’m not sure if that’s the proper direction to take though.

What do you think of the conversation in general? What can I improve on? What can I talk about that’ll help me build attraction? How do I work with the fact that I don’t have an interesting life and can’t really talk about the usual topics that build value (travel, interesting hobbies and stories)? Any tips would be appreciated.

Also, how and when do I ask for her number so I can move to texting on the phone? I want to get to a point where if I ask for her number to text her, she’ll be interested in me enough to actually give it to me. I also want to make sure that I’m not doing it too early and what signs to look for that’ll give me the green light to ask for her number.

[tapthatass]

(01-04-2017 07:23 PM)h5757 Wrote:  

My response:
I totally agree that the first episode was the most disturbing. My favorite is definitely [my favorite episode]. I like how the third season has such great political commentary. I’ve heard that [TV show she listed on profile] is a lot like [similar TV show], so I’m kind of interested in checking out [similar TV show that’s old], although I don’t know if it has aged well. I highly recommend you check out the song [song I like] by [band I like], since you like [band on her profile that’s similar to band I like]. I bet you lbs10 (I don’t know how to insert the British symbol for pounds and this is my attempt at being clever) that you’ll like it. I’ve been listening to it on repeat all day. One of my quirks is that I listen to a song on repeat for hours or days if I really like it. Do you have any interesting quirks?

According to me, this is where you might be making a mistake. This sounds needy as fuck.

Keep the messages simple, short and flirty. Most women have a very bad attention span. Common interests should be used as a tool to incite an emotional response from her.

"So, you like xxx? What do you think of the latest episode? I just finished watching it and it's awesome."Damn! How did you first get hooked up to this show?"....blah blah blah... GET AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE and then try to get her number.


To be honest, internet dating is a woman's game. So, your aim must be to get her number and set up a date as soon as possible without revealing much about yourself.

[LeoneVolpe]

OP,

Asking a woman if you get brownie points for doing/not doing something automatically forfeits any brownie points you would've gotten. Additionally, you're writing WAY too much. Keep it short and sweet. The idea isn't to really get to know each other through messaging -- it's to get her out on a date. Once you're on a date, you can ask her all the questions you want -- it's not like women really like to ask men too many questions anyway, they prefer to talk about themselves.

[NickDunne]

A few tips:

1. Unless for a very specific reason (explanation, story or similar), your messages must never be longer than hers.
2. Never use smileys, cute or endearing words unless in an obviously humorous or cynical context.
3. Be flirty and use double entendres from the start.
4. Always read the message before sending - if it sounds needy or beta, scrap it and write again.
5. Always let her send the final message in a conversation.
6. Make her wait - don't answer promptly. Then again, be careful not to lose her. This is the trickiest point.
7. From personal experience: the longer I texted with a girl online before the first meeting, the more the chance for that meeting decreased. Keep it short and try to get a date as soon as possible. You need not even fuck up - the internet dating scene has 10 times more guys than women and she can bounce upon a better opportunity at any time.
8. Tying into the previous point - you do not want to escalate too much because she will feel pressured to do more when you first meet and might flake just because of that. So my advice would be to never go too sexual before the first real life date.
9. The process of escalating itself is that you either drop subtle hints using double speak and wait for her to latch on or you just drop the bomb directly. The first option is less risky, but the second one does wonders on the right woman.

[Latan]

OP, your messages need to be funnier.
You're talking to these girls like you'd do with a dude : exchange of facts, no flirtation, giving advices based on what the other person is interested in.
In other words, it's Boring.
Girls get LOTS of messages online, so you must be funny / provocative / (a bit) crazy in order to interest them.

Don't give straight answer to any question, create mystery around yourself.

Also, as a rule, always make your messages shorter than the girl's ones : this way she'll feel she's chasing you, not the other way around.
Don't try to learn to know each other online, exchange a couple of funny flirty messages, then say she's cool enough, you should go get a drink.

Good luck.

[crispytaco]

I think most stuff has been covered.

To recap, never ask a girl for approval. No " Do you like my shirt", no "Is my new haircut ok?' , no "Am I getting brownie points"?

2. I see you asking 3 questions in the same message, not sure if I'm wrong. This confuses sometimes.

3. Try not to send long messages.

If I am using Tinder and she has a dog in the picture, I'd say something like "My dog, is not very intelligent... he tried to fix the microwave with no success." "In fact..OMG!! let me send you a picture O.o". - Minutes later - " Is it possible to send pictures through this app?" Her:, (most of the times) " I don't think so... but I have whatsapp, here is my number xxx" . And few msgs later go for the date / drink, which is the goal for the chat anyway.

[PapayaTapper]

No dude ever stuck his pee pee in a message. This is the only message (metaphorically) you should send (though Ive used it literally with great success)

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[Turnus]

Your messages scream let's have a long conversations and become online BFF's. Each message needs to be pushing towards getting her number and a meet up. Who cares what TV show she likes.

[Vill@in]

Great advice in here already, I would just reiterate that you should aim to get her number by the, at most, 5th message. Say something like "too many messages, what's your number" (this implies that you're getting messages from other girls but she is 'special' because you want to move it to text- I read this on another site and it's a great point) or "it would be easier to text...what's your number?"

At the end of the day it's a numbers game. Some girls may just ghost after you ask, but often they will give their number. If they don't, fuck 'em, they weren't worth your time anyway. Getting their number is really the easy part. Like others have mentioned, escalate for a meet ASAP. These girls are getting overwhelmed by thirsty guys and their options are limitless...especially for the attractive ones. Try to be unique and clever with your messages....they are getting the same blue pill cliché crap from all the other guys. You want to stand out. And you'll have to walk that fine line of being sexual....she needs to know you're not here to play pattycake.

In the end, practice makes perfect. You'll make some mistakes but just learn from those and figure out what works best for you.

[realologist]

(01-04-2017 07:23 PM)h5757 Wrote:  

The problem I’m having right now is that I’m getting stuck sending messages that are basically just small talk (movies and music). I’m having trouble building a connection with women on there and I feel like I’m stuck going back and forth talking about things that won’t create attraction. I don’t have an interesting life or any interesting hobbies, so I can’t really talk about anything exciting (I don’t travel and I’m not very social). I do have a college degree and a job that pays decent salary that I’m also passionate about (it’s in the STEM field). Music and movies are my go-to topic for getting to know women through messages and I also like to use witty banter. I don’t feel that it’s going anywhere though.

Here’s a sample conversation:

My initial message:
What's your favorite episode of [TV show she listed on her profile]? And what's your favorite song by [band she listed on her profile]? By the way, do I get brownie points for messaging you with something other than “ur hot”?

Her initial response:
The first one of the first series was my favorite, since it was the most disturbing! yours? Yes, you would earn points if I had a point system for a better message than "hey, what's up?", "Hi" , "I think yer cute".

My response:
I totally agree that the first episode was the most disturbing. My favorite is definitely [my favorite episode]. I like how the third season has such great political commentary. I’ve heard that [TV show she listed on profile] is a lot like [similar TV show], so I’m kind of interested in checking out [similar TV show that’s old], although I don’t know if it has aged well. I highly recommend you check out the song [song I like] by [band I like], since you like [band on her profile that’s similar to band I like]. I bet you lbs10 (I don’t know how to insert the British symbol for pounds and this is my attempt at being clever) that you’ll like it. I’ve been listening to it on repeat all day. One of my quirks is that I listen to a song on repeat for hours or days if I really like it. Do you have any interesting quirks?

Also, if you ever get a dog, definitely name him [joke name for a dog on her profile]. It has this really tough Roman gladiator vibe. My boss from back in the day named her dog titan, but he was really small.

Her second response:
I would name my dog [joke name on her profile] only if he looked like a glutton and had slobbery jowls, it would be more fitting.

I liked [my favorite episode of TV show on her profile], it seems like every season of [same TV show] has a lot of political commentary. Perhaps the upcoming Trumpocalypse will provide fodder for future [same TV show] seasons!

I'll check em out. I do that too with songs, I just hate when I ruin the initial high the song first gave me by listening to it too many times

-----

I responded by asking her what she does for a living, since she was very vague in her profile. I asked if she’s an artist and that I used to take art classes when I was a kid and mentioned some details about that. I’m not sure if that’s the proper direction to take though.

What do you think of the conversation in general? What can I improve on? What can I talk about that’ll help me build attraction? How do I work with the fact that I don’t have an interesting life and can’t really talk about the usual topics that build value (travel, interesting hobbies and stories)? Any tips would be appreciated.

Also, how and when do I ask for her number so I can move to texting on the phone? I want to get to a point where if I ask for her number to text her, she’ll be interested in me enough to actually give it to me. I also want to make sure that I’m not doing it too early and what signs to look for that’ll give me the green light to ask for her number.

The reason why it's not working is because you are talking to these chicks like you are talking to a man and you aren't making the conversation fun.

Look where I bolded. I would have said something like.

"Whatever. I bet you have that name listed on your profile because you're the glutton with slobbery jowels haha."

Her
"Basic bitch response 1...."

You
"Yeah but we should see if you live up to that dog name on your profile. Let's get some ice cream and see how much of a glutton you are."

[h5757]

I’ve been messaging this woman and things were going well, I attempted a number close, then she told me she doesn’t text right away and gave a reason. Here’s the exchange:

Me (5th message):
[a few sentences incorporating humor]

By the way, you probably already guessed that my legal name is [first half of my user name] [second half of my user name], but people usually just call me [my real name]. What ethnicity is the last name [second half of her user name]? xxx-xxx-xxxx

Her (5th message):
[a few sentences incorporating humor]

I will also acknowledge your number is there, but I don't text right away with guys from the internet. Had a bad experience once that required a phone number change, sooooooo. Yeah.

-----

Was this a rejection in disguise? Or was she not interested enough yet?

How did I handle the number close though? Was it a good idea to offer my number instead of asking for hers?

[realologist]

OP,

Your main problem with women still lies in the fact that you talk to them like men.

Your first opener wouldn't have been bad if you bridge it into something else.

You: "what is your favorite episode of ______ show?"

Her: episode 1

You: "Wow. You would like that episode. I knew you were that type."

Her: "haha lame girl phrase. What type is that?"

You: "C'mon you know the type. I mean it's you."

Her: "Lame girl response 2 where she still wants to know."

You: " The type that likes to go out and get ravished by men that are ____ tall, ____ color eyes, etc. All that describes you in your profile. I already went through the trouble of setting up such a date with that type of guy. Meet him at _______ at ________."

Just that should get you much more results. Remember girls like to be teased. They like a little mystery. They like fun.

And always keep the messaging amount short and push to meet up. You can't fuck without meeting.

[torridon747]

I call this "texting hell" and it's something you actively have to avoid if you're a good conversationalist.

Your job when messaging a girl is build just enough rapport to make her comfortable going out (or in) with you while making her curious and attracted to you. Any more than that and you risk being stuck in texting hell.

You want high impact short messages. You want to pull at her emotions and get her addicted to the emotional rollercoaster from message 1. Then when she opens up a little bit go in for the kill

[XPQ22]

Your goal with iGirls is not to "develop a connection" or "build attraction." These things will never happen over text; via text one guy she's never met is pretty much materially the same as any other, and these hoes have chatted with hundreds or thousands and have seen it all.

If you've done a good job with your profile and pics much of the work has already been done for you. Your goal with text game on the sites is mainly for you, to see if she's digs your look and profile enough, and serious enough about meeting someone IRL, to hold her attention long enough for 8-10 text messages to be exchanged. Because these sites are absolutely stuffed to the bursting with timewasters and filthy casuals - a cynic would say the sites are designed to attract precisely that type.

Try to keep it clever and interesting, but basic "elderly chat" works fine for this purpose. The goal is to move her off the site, onto SMS, pitch the date, and meet in the real world ASAP, where the real game will go down. Many will eject along the way, and that's fine. They were never serious to start with, and your most awesomest "attraction building" "developing a real connection" text game never would have made a whit of difference in that outcome.

[BladeRunner]

(01-05-2017 02:01 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

No dude ever stuck his pee pee in a message. This is the only message (metaphorically) you should send (though Ive used it literally with great success)

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