[Corollary]

(01-10-2017 07:22 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Great to read that you are putting in the effort and you will find that this confidence is going to help you in your future interactions with women in any scenario.

Like some of the other posters mentioned, you should go out to have fun and not to meet girls, girls can smell this pretty easily. How big a city are you in?

Going solo is I think the one big thing which might be hurting you because people are immediately suspicious of you to some extent and it can be harder to genuinely have fun and avoid looking weird when you are out alone unless you are super outgoing. You got to create a social circle that hang out with you at night and guys who are cooperative when you want to go for a girl. Its better to have some girls in that social circle. The reality is that the night game of today is turning more into social circle game because people are becoming more insular. Girls today are relying more on their social circle to get laid because they are more afraid that their reputation gets damaged more if they go home with a stranger unless, you are located in a big city where girls go out in smaller groups or alone in which case you should be bothering about mixed or large groups.

Once you are out in a group, you immediately have social proof and guys in other groups can be disarmed by those guys or girls in your group and you can have more time to chat up the girl you like and she will be more willing to do so because she now knows you are not a creep. I know it is hard to roll with a crew every week but that is why you need to build strong friendships before you think of girls because I find having friends means you get more access to more girls. It might be a good learning step to game those girls in your group successfully in a night game scenario before you think about getting success with girls you don't know.

My two cents.

Yeah, I do think it's a good idea to go out and have fun and be social. I think it's better for me right now to meet people first before I start worrying about gaming the girls I meet. Once I have a high enough volume of girls I can meet, I'll worry about learning all the game stuff. At the pace I'm going, it shouldn't take too long to get to that point.

The metro area I live in has over two million people.

So far I haven't gotten any bad reactions when I tell people I'm alone. My goal with doing all of this solo is because I do want to gain the skill of doing this without having to depend on anyone. I know it's harder, but I'm OK with that.

Besides, I've found it much harder to talk to strangers at places when I have friends with me because it's so easy to talk to people I already know.

I'm open to doing the social circle thing in the future though. I just started all this, and I have a ton of possibilities in the future.

Thanks for your input and support.

[Turnus]

One thing I do when I'm going out solo and people ask if I'm alone, "ya, I'm just waiting on my buddy. He's always running late" or some other lame excuse.

[Corollary]

To mark 10 straight nights of going out, I have a bad night.

The bar area had a lot of people for a Tuesday night. There were enough people to turn the bars into high energy environments.

I go to one bar, see all the seats at the bar are full, and go back to talk to the doorman about the usual crowd. He then leaves his post and shows me an extra bar in the back for when they are busier. I get his name and leave the bar.

Immediately after leaving, I see two hot girls walking towards me, and I'm able to get out a "how are you two doing tonight?" One girl responds and they keep walking.

No other interactions with people other than asking a group of three possible FOB Asian girls about what's going on in the area. I get a one word response.

I'm learning I feel more comfortable in low energy situations i.e., fewer people, little to no dancing, and music only in the background instead of blaring.

I've got to crack the high energy code though because that's where most of the opportunities are.

[Corollary]

Nothing much tonight.

I went a bar I'd never been to first, and I see that the crowd there is much older than me. I leave to go to the bar area with younger people.

I get there and go into a bar with loud music playing. I order a club soda and nurse it for a while.

The only thing that happened, and this confused me, was a cute girl coming into the bar alone, grabbing the seat next to me, and bumping into me as she sat down. "Drunk already?" manages to come out of my mouth. She simply replies, "no" with a slight smirk. She sits there and plays with her phone for about a minute, and then leaves the bar.

A gift from God? Or just a clumsy bitch?

A few minutes after that, I head out and go home.

My goal for last week was to become comfortable going out alone and build the habit of going out everyday. I feel like I've accomplished those two goals (it's easy for me to build habits if I have enough motivation).

Now I feel like I'm lacking focus. I can't rely hoping that things will just magically work out for me every night. I need to develop the skills to make things happen instead of waiting for things to happen.

[Corollary]

I wish I had more to report.

Another night of walking around aimlessly. The only thing that happened was I opened by two fat girls.

I meant to take time today to come up with a game plan, but I was too busy/wasted too much time today.

[Alche]

You sound like me OP maybe 3-4 years ago.

It's hard to give you advice because I'm sure you have read about game a lot. But there has to be a shift inside you for things to change. If you keep doing the same thing, you are going to keep getting the same results.

But I think your biggest problem right now is you think too much. You need to stop thinking, and just do shit. Anything. Alcohol can help you with this (but don't rely on it).

Also, try to imagine the person you want to be, how you would walk, speak, act.. your body posture and be that person now.

here are just some things you could have done differently.

Quote:

They tell me about how all the bars aren't fun, and I tell them they themselves need to make the bars fun.

You could do something spontaneous here or just change the vibe. YOU can decide how the night turns out, not others.

Quote:

She was just a friend of the guy's wife. I realize how big of an opportunity I got in that moment, but I'm not sure how to handle it this point (of course I actually need to try something in those moments so I can learn).

Bro out with the guy. Ask him is that your wife? Is she single? Can I talk to her? etc. You are giving him respect. Now once you talk to the girl, if she is at least a little interested in you.. then there's a good chance he will help you make something happen if he likes you.

Quote:

At this point I decide to stop talking to her because I didn't want to put up with both loud music and someone who doesn't understand English well. She was hot though, and by far the hottest girl in the bar. The girl she was talking to before I interrupted didn't look nearly as good as her.

Try to take her hand to take her somewhere quiet. There's a good chance she will ignore you but do what you can with the loud music. Rejections are not important.

Quote:

She introduces herself and we shake hands, and then we just hold hands. I wanted to see hold long we can just stay there holding hands while talking. After about 20 to 30 seconds, the bartender interrupts me asking for me to pay for the club soda (I noticed some bartenders charge and others don't), so I have to release her hand.

I used to do this. I don't anymore because it usually just gets creepy. Try to just improve your body language more. (imagine how you would want to sit, act etc.)

Quote:

Eventually after about 10 minutes of talking to her, a guy shows up and tries to say something to her, but she ignores him. He walks a few feet away to say something to his friends, and then he walks back and grabs her attention and asks her again. He mentioned something they could look at outside, and I ask him about it. He ignores me. So I wait a couple of seconds and ask him again, because the girl wasn't saying anything. Without looking at me, he answers me, and then I knew he just wasn't interested in talking to me. He eventually pulls the girl away.

In this case when it's clear he is just interested in the girl. Ignore him. You don't need to say anything to him and just keep talking to the girl like he is not even there.

Also if the guy starts threatening you. Just walk off and tell the girl you don't have time for this bullshit (unless you want to fight). Last week I had a fat military guy threatening me and I told the girl that and walked off. 5 minutes later she is texting me desperately for me to come back. I didn't do this with this in mind I just did not care.

I will try to follow your thread.

[Corollary]

Alche, thanks for taking the time to read my posts. I know it can be a pain in the ass to read a thread all the way through once it has more than a few posts.

I'm going to take your advice and just act and be the person I want to be now.

Since you started in a similar position as me, could you talk a little about your experience becoming the person you wanted to be?

[Corollary]

Tonight was fun. At almost four hours out, it was by far the longest night out for me so far.

I watched a video about how your night can be ruined in the first thirty seconds if you don't talk to anyone, so my goal was to interact with other as soon as possible. I was able to do this quite easily, and it worked really well. This put me in a social mood that lasted the first half of my night.

On my way to the bar, I was able to interact with four or five groups before I arrived. Some interactions were just "how's it going?" and others were a little longer. I saw two girls standing right next to a pyrotechnic machine that went off at random intervals, so I stopped and asked the girls were they were looking to get burned.

One of the bartenders I met earlier in the week worked at the bar I was headed to, so I wanted to say hello to her. She somewhat remembered me when I did. I ended up sitting next to an older lady (not attractive at all), and we ended up talking for nearly an hour. I opened her by making fun of her for checking her Facebook profile.

Eventually, I wanted to talk to someone else because I didn't go out to just talk to one person, so I head to another bar. I ask a guy in the bar about the quality of the music, and then I go to the bathroom to find myself in a serious debate about Alabama football. I had to get out of there because sports conversations are so stupid to me (why talk about what other men are doing?).

I didn't like the music at the bar, so I go across the street to the bar where I met the bartenders earlier in the week. This is when I have an interaction closest to what I'll need to have a lot of in the future. I see a cute girl with a birthday sash sounded by a four or five busted friends. I go up to her and say...

Corollary: "Hey, happy birthday! Just turned 21?"

Birthday Girl: "No." (with a tone like I'm way off)

C: "23?"

BG: "No, 25."

C: "Oh, that's it? You said it like I was off by ten years. You're still young. You're younger than me."

BG: "Yeah, we're all young at heart."

This is we I run out of things to say. I could tell she was really open to talking to me more though.

I then bartender I had an extended converasation with on Sunday, and she remembers both my name and my drink.

After listening to the music for a while, the birthday girl and her group leave, and she waves goodbye to me.

I leave the bar shortly after, and go walking. I see a girl wearing almost nothing and visibliy cold, so I make a comment about to her. After this, I wanted to go home.

As I'm walking to my car, I run into a friend of mine. She is with two other (fat) girls. I decide to go to the bar with them instead of going home.

Inside the bar, I run into another girl I know who's hot and she had a cute friend with her, among others. I talk to her and get her to introduce me to her cute friend, but I can't think of anything to say.

After that, I spend most of my time with the friend I ran into outside and her two friends.

-----

My feelings are telling me to be disappointed with the night, but I know it's good for where I'm at. I was able to get into a social mood very easily, talk the older woman for a long time, talk to the bartenders I met, open a few groups of girls, and stay out much longer than I have in the two weeks since I started going out.

I know the birthday girl and the cute friend of my hot friend were missed opportunities, but I know I'll be able to handle them as my skills develop.

[Hazaer]

Dont give up dude. Most of what you have mentioned have been experienced by the older guys here. At some point, after you have been going out consistently at night, you got to evaluate if the sleep time and money spent is getting the right returns. After the initial stage of overcoming the approach anxiety, comes the hard part of getting attraction going. Getting success going solo at night is one of the highest achievements in game you can get but it comes with lots of experience. Have you tried going out and gaming with forum members in your area?

[Corollary]

(01-15-2017 01:31 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Dont give up dude. Most of what you have mentioned have been experienced by the older guys here. At some point, after you have been going out consistently at night, you got to evaluate if the sleep time and money spent is getting the right returns. After the initial stage of overcoming the approach anxiety, comes the hard part of getting attraction going. Getting success going solo at night is one of the highest achievements in game you can get but it comes with lots of experience. Have you tried going out and gaming with forum members in your area?

I feel like I'm getting to the point where going out every night is normal. As long I'm out every night, I feel like I'll make progress, so giving up will become harder than sticking with it.

I looked at the meetup thread for my city, and there wasn't much activity. I know a couple of guys actively involved in pickup though, but I haven't seen them since I started going out. I'm planning on trying to go out with them whenever I see them again.

Thanks for the support.

[Corollary]

Two weeks straight of going out. Tonight didn't go nearly as well as last night.

I was able to warm up and have numerous short interactions with people, but I didn't have any long interactions. I'm still relying on lucky situations to just happen to me. Even though I don't have to wait long for them because I go out every night, I got into this in the first place to create opportunities instead of waiting for them.

One positive is I go into autopilot mode whenever I see a girl wearing a birthday sash. Opening them is stupid easy.

[Alche]

(01-13-2017 11:47 PM)Corollary Wrote:  

Alche, thanks for taking the time to read my posts. I know it can be a pain in the ass to read a thread all the way through once it has more than a few posts.

I'm going to take your advice and just act and be the person I want to be now.

Since you started in a similar position as me, could you talk a little about your experience becoming the person you wanted to be?

I traveled a lot. Some crazy life experiences, bad life experiences and learning a lot in the process. These had nothing to do with talking to girls but affected me as a person. I realised though that where I was.. wasn't the problem. The problem was how I made decisions. I realised I had been making a lot of bad decisions in my life. You are the sum of the decisions you have made in your life up to this point.

So now I do not care if someone says my shoes are shit, or if I am an idiot. I let other people influence me as little as possible. When someone says what you are doing is stupid.. it is just a reflection of them unable to see themselves doing it. I am in control now of how my life will turn out not others.. and working on starting my own business.

You have the ability to get the girl. You do. But I think you are still playing it safe. If during the night there is something you want to do or say, and you don't do it. It's a indication that you have more fears you need to overcome.

By the way.. get some numbers. Even if the interaction isn't going well, get into the habit of asking for her number. If she doesn't respond to the first text just delete it and move on.

[Corollary]

I'll be going out in a few hours, but I wanted to post the following interaction because it's noteworthy.

I was reading my game resource, and it mentioned about how the key is to create emotions in women (which is what WIA says in the Game 101 post mentioned earlier in this thread). I then get hungry and decide to go to Chipotle. I decide I want to practice on the cashier girl, but I was at a lost for what to say to hear. Luckily, she gave me the perfect material.

The cashier chick was in the back when my food was done being prepared, so once the girl finished preparing my food, she yelled out "Cash!" and the cashier chick yelled back "Coming!"

About 20 seconds pass, and the cashier girl comes out running...

Cashier Girl: "Sorry for the wait!"
Corollary: "That took forever!" (in a joking tone)
She laughs
CG: "Sorry. Would you like a free drink or chips?"
C: "No thanks."
CG: "Oh, I thought you'd want something for free since you waited so long"
C: "Well, I think you giving me a half off discount would be fair since I had to wait 20 extra seconds." (still with a joking tone here)
She giggles.
CG: "Sorry. You ordered blah blah blah?"
C: "Yes" (I always order a lot of extra stuff)
CG: "With extra?"
C: "Yeah."
Now she's typing in my order, but she's taking usually long for a Chipotle order.
C: "Is my order really that complicated? You're taping a lot on that screen."
She giggles.
CG: "You're just making me really nervous."
I'm nonplussed at this point, so I just laugh and smile.
CG: "Here you go, manager's comp."
C: "Really? That's all it took for me to get free food? I'll have to do this more often."
CG: "It's only going to work this once. You just made me really nervous."
C: "Well, thanks."
CG: "Have a good day."
C: "Thanks. Have a good night."

Obviously, I could have taken this further. Still, it's a good lesson on the direction I need to go in when interacting with women.

[Corollary]

Tonight was a good night. I was able to have my longest interaction so far, and I got a number.

I get the to bar district, and I immediately started warming up. I say "how's it going?" to a security guard who walked pass my car and to a group of guys.

I saw there were quite a few people out, so I was going to walk pass the bars on the first pass, but something made me go into one of the bars.

I had to pee, so I go to the bathroom and see a guy with an Aaron Rogers jersey. I chat briefly about the game and then exit the bathroom.

When I get back and walk toward the dance floor, I see a cute girl standing on the dance floor but not dancing to the music. Britney Spears was playing so I go up to her and say, "You know you like this song." She replies, "Yeah, I do." while looking like she was expecting me to say something else after that. I didn't, and I leave the bar.

I start walking down the street, and I think of a silly opener. I thought it would be funny to ask girls where to celebrate MLK Day.

I see two cute girls walking toward me. One with a great body and who's a bit chubby. I stop them in their tracks.

Corollary: "Do you know the best place to celebrate Martin Luther King Day?"
Girls: "???? Huh?"
Corollary: "It's Martin Luther King Day!"
Chubby Girl: "No, it's her birthday."
C: "Happy birthday! Is your birthday Sunday or Monday?"
BG: "Sunday."
*I check my phone, and it's exactly 11:59.
C: "It's still your birthday, but in a minute it will be MLK Day."
C: "I think I can guess your age."
*reading my game resource made me realize exaggerating the age is better than guessing 21, because by guessing 21, I'll be right or close enough every time.
C: "I think you're...35."
BG: (shocked)
C: "Don't get me wrong, you look good for your age."
C: "Haha how old are you really?"
BG: "I just turned 21."
C: "Well, you seem really mature, so that's why I guessed 35. Are you mature."
BG: "Yes, I am."

At this point, I'm thinking about ejecting out of the set, but they were really receptive. I ask them where they've been, and they said they couldn't get into any bars because of their expired IDs. I tell them a bar I know will let them in and tell them where it is. After they struggled to understand my directions, I eventually offered to go with them, and they agreed.

While walking to the bar, they walked on either side of me. They were both trying to talk to me at the same time, so I couldn't understand what they were saying. But they walked close enough to me so we were in physical contact. In fact, it was kind of annoying because we kept bumping into each other as we walked.

The chubby girl has a drink with her while the birthday girl is sober. The birthday girl doesn't seem like the type to have gone out before, so she's not nearly as comfortable in the environment as her chubby friend. The chubby girl will slowly transfer into drunk girl over the course of the interaction.

We get to the bar, and they get nervous because they've been denied a few times with their IDs. I tell them, it's OK, so the birthday girl goes to the bouncer first and shows her ID. The bouncer lets her in.

The chubby girl can't get in with her drink though, so she says outside to finish it. I stay with her and talk to her. Eventually, she wants me to check in on her friend, so I agree and go into the bar.

Inside the bar, I find the birthday girl and take her to a long couch were we sit and talk for a while. The conversation was pleasant and it flowed easily, but eventually she starts worrying about her friend because she's still outside. She gets up and says she's just going to go get her friend and come back.

I wait there, and eventually a drunk guy appears and sits next to me. He starts talking to me, and then his two other guy friends show up. They were cool dudes, but I sense they would mess things up with the girls.

The girls finally come into the bar and go to the bathroom first. They come back, and chubby girl is drunk at this point. She looks at the three guys who sat by me and asks me what team I'm for. I immediately think football, but she corrects me and clarifies that it's about my sexual orientation. After a joke, I tell her I'm straight, and she's OK with it, and then she says something about me and her friend, but I couldn't understand it.

Her drunk, cheap ass left her drink outside, so she goes back outside to finish drinking it, taking the birthday girl with her.

So now I'm back in the bar talking to these three guys, and the girls have been outside for a while. I'm thinking they ditched me, so I'm thinking it's a good time to find more girls. I go outside and to my surprise, the girls are right outside the door.

The chubby girl is growing more obnoxious by the second. I chat with the birthday girl outside, but now her phone being blown up by her boyfriend.

The chubby girl starts saying she wants to go home and eat tacos. The birthday girl is worried about both her friend and her boyfriend. My balls are freezing in the cold.

As time goes on, I start getting more annoyed, and they talk more about how they're going to leave. I get the birthday girl's number, and I leave.

I'm too annoyed at this point to talk to anyone else, so I wander around a little bit more and then leave.

-----

Overall, this went pretty well. I can't think of anything I could have done differently given my current skill level. I know dealing with issues like the drunk girl are pretty common, so I should prepare for that.

The birthday girl seemed interested in talking to me the whole time. I wasn't able to capture enough of her attention though to make her forget about her drunk friend and her boyfriend.

When I first saw birthday girl's ass:

[Alche]

Quote:

I'm too annoyed at this point to talk to anyone else, so I wander around a little bit more and then leave.

Ask yourself this. If you flirted with this girl more, risked being rejected and got rejected.. would you still be annoyed? you are annoyed because you didn't honestly express yourself. you held back right? When you do exactly what you want to do, the outcome no longer matters and you no longer care about being rejected.

Quote:

Overall, this went pretty well. I can't think of anything I could have done differently given my current skill level.

Talking to girls isn't a game where you need to level up. I used to think this, it is not. YOU ARE READY.

Same with the cashier girl. She was begging that you ask her out.

Stop ejecting, stop hesitating, get the number or try pulling them home.

I truly believe you can take a girl home or set up a date with a girl right now. You just have to believe it as well.

[Corollary]

(01-17-2017 02:37 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Quote:

I'm too annoyed at this point to talk to anyone else, so I wander around a little bit more and then leave.

Ask yourself this. If you flirted with this girl more, risked being rejected and got rejected.. would you still be annoyed? you are annoyed because you didn't honestly express yourself. you held back right? When you do exactly what you want to do, the outcome no longer matters and you no longer care about being rejected.

In this situation, I didn't feel like there was any risk of anything I wanted to try. I was just annoyed that the chubby girl was outside nursing her drink.

I realize though I shouldn't have let that bother me. Dealing with stupid drunk girls is part of the game.

(01-17-2017 02:37 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Quote:

Overall, this went pretty well. I can't think of anything I could have done differently given my current skill level.

Talking to girls isn't a game where you need to level up. I used to think this, it is not. YOU ARE READY.

Same with the cashier girl. She was begging that you ask her out.

Stop ejecting, stop hesitating, get the number or try pulling them home.

I truly believe you can take a girl home or set up a date with a girl right now. You just have to believe it as well.

I know this. I just don't believe it.

I've never had trouble getting girls attracted to me, and in every other area of my life, I have complete control. But being sexually forward with women is something that I lack. I wish there was just a switch I could flip to gain that ability, but I don't know how to do that.

It's only been a couple of weeks doing this, but I feel like my confidence is growing each day.

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me. It seems like progress threads don't get much attention around here.

[Corollary]

I get to the bar district a little after 11 and go straight into my warmup. There are hardly any people where I parked because it's a Monday, but I did see a guy and was able to greet him.

The next group I see has an angry dude and two of his boys. He's talking about how it's never acceptable to hit a woman and he's willing to step into any situation where he sees a man hitting a woman (I guess something had just happened where he was before). I'm tempted to disagree with him, but I think better of it. We were waiting at a light together, so I had no one else to talk to.

As I'm walking, I didn't do much. I see two cute girls headed toward me, and I was getting ready to open them, until I saw a guy about ten feet in front of me try to get their attention and fail. He made a bad attempt, but that was enough to dissuade me from trying.

I get to the bar, and I see a cute girl walk up by herself. I figured it would be an easy opportunity to open since I'd be in line behind her, but the two guys in front of her flirted with her and insisted she go before them. Once they all got into the bar, the guys didn't even talk to her.

I go sit at the bar, greet the bartender I met last week, and order my drink. After a few minutes, two older women (mid 30s) come right next to me to order drinks. I open them and have a friendly conversation with them. I let the conversation fizzle after a few minutes because I didn't feel like talking to two old women.

Once the old women leave, I sit at the bar for about 30 minutes watching music videos on the TV. I notice the cute girl sitting at the bar alone, and the bartender I met goes up to her and starts flirting with her (this must be how bartenders can get so much ass).

Then I hear a female voice saying "how's your night going?" She is not attractive at all (her style made her even less attractive), but she was really friendly. She tells me that's she getting drinks for her friends, and I ask to join her so I can meet them. I'm hoping her friends would be worth meeting. They weren't.

When I get to her friends, I meet one pissed off girl who was just called a bitch, a sloppy drunk birthday girl, and a guy who was a borderline angry drunk.

Pissed off girl is initially sketpical of me when I tell her my drink was club soda, so she calls a "conference" and three of us move over a couple of feet (WTF?). After talking to her, she says she thinks she can trust me because I have a good vibe and energy.

I talk to them for a while, and they tell me they want to go to another bar and invite me. I didn't mind hanging out with them for a while, so I agree.

Before we leave though, the pissed off girl took the sloppy drunk girl to the bathroom. I end up walking toward the exit with the original girl who opened me, let's call her smoker chick, and the drunk guy. Smoker chick lost her lighter, and she starts to become neurotic because she needed to smoke. I tell her I'll find her a light, so I ask a group of three cute girls if they had a lighter. Before I asked, I noticed they gave me their full attention (one thing that has surprised me is how easy it is to command the attention of a group of people as long as I'm bold enough in interrupting them). In hindsight, I should have tried sticking with the three cute girls.

They didn't have a lighter, but I ended up finding someone else for the lighter. While smoking, she tells me that she's just being friendly and it's nothing sexual. I laugh and make a joke about it because it seemed obvious to me. After smoker girl smokes, she goes to check on the pissed off girl and the sloppy drunk girl in the bathroom. She briefly comes back to tell me the sloppy drunk girl isn't doing so well.

While outside with the drunk guy, two couples of friendly older people (40s) approaches us. They ask us about the bar, and I give friendly answers while the drunk guy gives terse, angry answers. One of the women starts flirting with me and touching me before she, her husband, and the other couple go in the bar.

After that, I figure sloppy drunk girl is done for the night, so I say bye to the drunk guy and go home.

---

The biggest lesson from the night is from the beginning. I noticed I'm more bold the more social I've been. I can't yet go from not talking to anyone at all to talking to cute girls, but I can build up to talking to the cute girls by having multiple shorte interactions with anyone beforehand.

[Alche]

Quote:

I've never had trouble getting girls attracted to me, and in every other area of my life, I have complete control. But being sexually forward with women is something that I lack. I wish there was just a switch I could flip to gain that ability, but I don't know how to do that.

I don't know what you mean by 'sexually forward', but simply talking about sexual topics like they are normal is enough or using sexual innuendos. Just don't be mechanical, talk about any type of bullshit. Sometimes I will tell some ridiculous story but with a straight face just to fuck with them.

Quote:

so I ask a group of three cute girls if they had a lighter. Before I asked, I noticed they gave me their full attention (one thing that has surprised me is how easy it is to command the attention of a group of people as long as I'm bold enough in interrupting them). In hindsight, I should have tried sticking with the three cute girls.

You don't owe these strangers anything. Continue talking to the cute girls and forget the others.

It's funny, you really remind me of myself. You are too nice. I would do this same shit exactly like you.

A few posts ago you asked me if I had a breakthrough moment or something and I just realised what it was. I have always been this nice guy all my life and over time I would get some girls. But there was a particular moment in my life that gave another side to me. Something that stopped me from being too needy when 9s and 10s liked me. Something that stopped me from being a pushover. And something that made me stop caring about how hot a girl was and made me treat them the same.

I banged a hooker. This is something I would have never done because I was too nice and it actually scared me. But one night a crazy friend of mine tricked me into it. It pulled me to the dark side and I began to see life from an unfiltered perspective. Some of us can't help it that we have been coddled by our parents our whole life and being exposed to the real world in a way like this can be what you need. Something to think about.

[Turnus]

I'm starting to wonder if going out every single night is doing you more harm than good. Might be worth taking a few nights off a week and may give you some renewed energy when you do go out.

[Corollary]

(01-17-2017 05:51 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Quote:

I've never had trouble getting girls attracted to me, and in every other area of my life, I have complete control. But being sexually forward with women is something that I lack. I wish there was just a switch I could flip to gain that ability, but I don't know how to do that.

I don't know what you mean by 'sexually forward', but simply talking about sexual topics like they are normal is enough or using sexual innuendos. Just don't be mechanical, talk about any type of bullshit. Sometimes I will tell some ridiculous story but with a straight face just to fuck with them.

Quote:

so I ask a group of three cute girls if they had a lighter. Before I asked, I noticed they gave me their full attention (one thing that has surprised me is how easy it is to command the attention of a group of people as long as I'm bold enough in interrupting them). In hindsight, I should have tried sticking with the three cute girls.

You don't owe these strangers anything. Continue talking to the cute girls and forget the others.

It's funny, you really remind me of myself. You are too nice. I would do this same shit exactly like you.

A few posts ago you asked me if I had a breakthrough moment or something and I just realised what it was. I have always been this nice guy all my life and over time I would get some girls. But there was a particular moment in my life that gave another side to me. Something that stopped me from being too needy when 9s and 10s liked me. Something that stopped me from being a pushover. And something that made me stop caring about how hot a girl was and made me treat them the same.

I banged a hooker. This is something I would have never done because I was too nice and it actually scared me. But one night a crazy friend of mine tricked me into it. It pulled me to the dark side and I began to see life from an unfiltered perspective. Some of us can't help it that we have been coddled by our parents our whole life and being exposed to the real world in a way like this can be what you need. Something to think about.

No one has ever described me as nice before, and I don't think of myself like that either. I'll think about it though, because it may not be obvious to me though.

(01-17-2017 04:05 PM)Turnus Wrote:  

I'm starting to wonder if going out every single night is doing you more harm than good. Might be worth taking a few nights off a week and may give you some renewed energy when you do go out.

What makes you think that?

I feel like I have unlimited energy. If I do anything, I don't mind doing it everyday. I've been going to the gym every single day for years (except for being sick or travelling). Going out and talking to people is much easier.

[Corollary]

I wasn't expecting much for a Tuesday night.

From my car to the entrance of the bar, there was no one to talk to. When I get there, they're charging a $20 cover because a rapper is performing live. Of course I'm not paying $20 to listen to some struggle rapper, so I go across the street to another bar.

Before I go into the bar, I see two cute chubby girls (why they so common?!) and some dude hesitate a bit before going up to the doorman. After we all go in, I go up the girls and ask them why they looked so scared to walk in (the guy bolted as soon as they got in the bar). We have a short conversation right next to the speakers, so it was hard to hear everything they said, but I eventually get the reason they came out (the DJ) and their names.

I think my ability to hear people in loud environments is improving, and I also find myself talking louder during the daytime. Hidden benefit of going out at night?

After talking to those girls, I go into people watching mode for the most part. I'm able to have short conversations with the guys around me (more guys than girls in the bar), but that's it.

There was this one girl with an amazing ass and hips combo dancing, so every guy there was checking her out. How many of them approached? Just one, and he did it as soon as he came into the bar (my man!).

There was guy who looked like he could have been the starting running back for his high school team who was checking out the girl as soon as he walked in. I eventually said to him, "you look like you want to talk to them. Go talk to them!" He just shook his head no.

Seeing all the other guys at the bar not do anything oddly increases my confidence. It leads me to believe that what I'm trying to do, go out alone while completely sober, is much harder than I imagine it to be, yet I'm still have some success.

[Corollary]

I decide to go out after 2AM this time to see what's it like. I ended regretting that decision because I started yawning at 9PM, but the decision was firm in my mind already.

All but one bar was dead or closed, so the one open one had quite a few people in there. I chat with the bartender I met last week for a while, and I end up chatting with a cute girl who came up next to me to order a drink. In cases like that, it feels more uncomfortable to not say anything, so there's progress there.

I didn't want to stay long because I don't want to wake up too late tomorrow.

----

I sent a text to the girl I met on Sunday with the intention of hanging out with her. She responded quickly and used too many similes and emojis, so I take that as a good sign. But she tells me she got sick and had to go to see a doctor. I told her to let me know when she recovers. I'm not expecting her to actually do that, so I'll try again in a few days.

[TornadoByProxy]

You should never run out of things to say. Focus on getting them to talk most of the time. This video should be helpful.

[Corollary]

Thanks for the video.

Something I need to actively work on is adding comments after asking surface level questions instead of simply asking more surface level questions. I noticed it's a lot easier for me the more interesting they initially seem, so I need to take an interest in others before they actually reveal something interesting.

[Corollary]

Nothing much to report.

I decide to wear a hoodie instead of a coat. Big mistake! I was freezing the entire time.

I had a long conversation with a guitarist and his wife outside the bar, which put me in a good mood.

I get to the bar and see a line of about 15 people, all but one were dudes. That and being over-frisked killed it for me. I couldn't even make small talk with the bartenders.