I have no idea where I want to actually put this, but it's become a massive insecurity for me and I could do with a vent.
For almost as long as I can remember, I've always been somewhat lacking in intelligence, in certain areas. At least, I've always been plagued by insecurity that I'm not intelligent enough. I always get scared that other people will see through me. They will see I'm not as intelligent as them and judge me.
And it becomes perhaps a vicious cycle; of not feeling like I have a good enough memory, of not feeling 'sharp' enough to have great wit, and feeling that I don't know enough about the world. My general knowledge is poor, almost pathetic considered I went to a top UK university to study History.
I think there is so much pressure on wearing the right clothes, going out, and so on and yet, our memory and knowledge should be the most important thing. At least, equally ranked compared to dress sense and for example going out to dinner or for the movies. Perhaps this is just a self admission of where my own self priorities should be. I realize that having good knowledge about the world -being a more informed person- makes the world much more enriching, it also makes you more confident in your own views, knowing what you say is informed and tested, that you have researched topics. It makes you a more interesting person, to be a learned man, to be a scholar. It makes your conversations more interesting and leaves a positive mark on others.
I suppose I've found it difficult to 'find' the time to continue to read in areas such as history and general knowledge areas like science or geography, alongside a full time job, a social life, and everything else in the five years since leaving university.
Yet, I consider it a great personal failing to lack a strong general knowledge at this point in time (27). The problem is, I have read a lot in the past, I have studied, learnt history. I passed with good grades. According to my grades, I'm intelligent. I understand complex debates. But, you know what my biggest problem is ? I seem to forget it all. All the books I read, all the dates, and names of famous politicians, battles, treaties. It's all gone from my mind. Probably not 'all' but a great deal. I know a smattering of everything, but I have no confidence In any particular area.
What seems strange is that when I compare myself to some very intelligent men in my life, my father for example and other father figures, they have such an impressive memory recall. My father just knows so much about the world, and he can keep up with any TV general knowledge quiz. He doesn't have to 'try' and remember, he just seemingly does. In his late sixties. History, science, classical music, literature. He seems to know everything about the world.
I can read a book, but I feel unless I take notes, and constantly go back, I'll forgot all the knowledge. All the dates, places, locations, names. It makes me feel so lacking in confidence.
Perhaps I could start by looking at building an expertise in several areas. For example: British and American politics and history over the past 200 years. Big area, of course, but I need to start with some focus areas, otherwise trying to know everything about the world all at once would be like trying to paint a billion houses with 1 paint brush. Better to paint one house at a time metaphorically speaking.
Without being informed on the world, without having precise knowledge of accuracy my ideas and concepts are uninformed and blunt, and patchy. And my lack of confidence and insecurity continues.
I suppose the obvious way to improve
- spend more time reading and researching to build general knowledge. Take occasional notes.
- it goes without says no I guess, I can't complain to be lacks me in knowledge without actually increasing my knowledge.
- stop drinking alcohol as my memory is very poor at the moment and I know it's had a knock on effect on my cognition,
- pick two or three areas to learn about inside out and have a knowledge 'confidence' or expertise in, to learn in a more structured logical way
If any of you have any more ideas for advice either about how you gain knowledge and retain it, ideas for a better memory retention, supplements or similar issues I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading !
For almost as long as I can remember, I've always been somewhat lacking in intelligence, in certain areas. At least, I've always been plagued by insecurity that I'm not intelligent enough. I always get scared that other people will see through me. They will see I'm not as intelligent as them and judge me.
And it becomes perhaps a vicious cycle; of not feeling like I have a good enough memory, of not feeling 'sharp' enough to have great wit, and feeling that I don't know enough about the world. My general knowledge is poor, almost pathetic considered I went to a top UK university to study History.
I think there is so much pressure on wearing the right clothes, going out, and so on and yet, our memory and knowledge should be the most important thing. At least, equally ranked compared to dress sense and for example going out to dinner or for the movies. Perhaps this is just a self admission of where my own self priorities should be. I realize that having good knowledge about the world -being a more informed person- makes the world much more enriching, it also makes you more confident in your own views, knowing what you say is informed and tested, that you have researched topics. It makes you a more interesting person, to be a learned man, to be a scholar. It makes your conversations more interesting and leaves a positive mark on others.
I suppose I've found it difficult to 'find' the time to continue to read in areas such as history and general knowledge areas like science or geography, alongside a full time job, a social life, and everything else in the five years since leaving university.
Yet, I consider it a great personal failing to lack a strong general knowledge at this point in time (27). The problem is, I have read a lot in the past, I have studied, learnt history. I passed with good grades. According to my grades, I'm intelligent. I understand complex debates. But, you know what my biggest problem is ? I seem to forget it all. All the books I read, all the dates, and names of famous politicians, battles, treaties. It's all gone from my mind. Probably not 'all' but a great deal. I know a smattering of everything, but I have no confidence In any particular area.
What seems strange is that when I compare myself to some very intelligent men in my life, my father for example and other father figures, they have such an impressive memory recall. My father just knows so much about the world, and he can keep up with any TV general knowledge quiz. He doesn't have to 'try' and remember, he just seemingly does. In his late sixties. History, science, classical music, literature. He seems to know everything about the world.
I can read a book, but I feel unless I take notes, and constantly go back, I'll forgot all the knowledge. All the dates, places, locations, names. It makes me feel so lacking in confidence.
Perhaps I could start by looking at building an expertise in several areas. For example: British and American politics and history over the past 200 years. Big area, of course, but I need to start with some focus areas, otherwise trying to know everything about the world all at once would be like trying to paint a billion houses with 1 paint brush. Better to paint one house at a time metaphorically speaking.
Without being informed on the world, without having precise knowledge of accuracy my ideas and concepts are uninformed and blunt, and patchy. And my lack of confidence and insecurity continues.
I suppose the obvious way to improve
- spend more time reading and researching to build general knowledge. Take occasional notes.
- it goes without says no I guess, I can't complain to be lacks me in knowledge without actually increasing my knowledge.
- stop drinking alcohol as my memory is very poor at the moment and I know it's had a knock on effect on my cognition,
- pick two or three areas to learn about inside out and have a knowledge 'confidence' or expertise in, to learn in a more structured logical way
If any of you have any more ideas for advice either about how you gain knowledge and retain it, ideas for a better memory retention, supplements or similar issues I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading !
