[cosine]

I took the red pill three years ago following a breakup. I recognized my neediness and started fucking other women.

Since then I’ve banged 10 more chicks, mostly from my extended social circle. A couple of these made me pretty proud, particularly when I ran into a former female coworker on a United flight and nailed her in the bathroom mid-flight.

Clearly 10 chicks in 3 years is nothing to brag about around these forums, but around 7 or 8, I started to gain a lot more confidence and now I feel more satisfied with myself. I’m now bedding girls I enjoy with decent frequency.

Unfortunately, I still catch oneitis absurdly easily. I have enough game that I can get a woman to stick around, and typically they get pretty hooked. But after a while, I stop gaming her, stop calling her on her shit and stop tying her down and punishing her misbehavior.

The last one in particular made me a lot of awesome meals, gave great blowjobs, and would ask to be my gf. My father and uncle(people I look up to) are curious about my love life, I sent them a couple of pictures, and they gave me a lot of validation for shacking up with a hottie. I got hooked, and I’m sure she could literally smell the oneitis beginning to come out. Hypergamy reared its ugly head and she dumped me.

I consciously understand the baseline game principles, but my bluepill conditioning is deep. If she isn’t so great I just next her, but if I like her I begin to love her.

How do I fix this cycle?

[iknowexactly]

This may be for your later life, I hope there'll be one so it will be relevant.

There's two ways to approach this, the positive way, the way I'd say the vast majority here would advocate: Improving your value so the girl sees she needs to hold onto you-- because she can't get better.

There's add value tech: more money, bigger muscles, showing social proof-- and then there's proof of indifference like I believe those power struggle hacks are, punishing her etc, setting limits.

But there's also a way that I've been trying, on the advice of an old wise man: "Lower your standards." As I'm getting older I realize I don't want a hood ornament someone is trying to steal. As an analog, some people remove the hood ornament from their Mercedes because it's going to get stolen.

And it's not as simple as totally lowering your standards-- I have high standards as far as wanting low (18+ of course) age, but I don't need a model face girl.

What i need is to not waste another 6 months finding a compliant, cute girl who'll do as she's told.

Heh heh. I can hear the screams of outrage. This may not be optimal when you're under 40, but when you're in your late 50s
it may be exactly the right move. Or if you just want to be relaxed and not defending a pricey hood ornament.

Positive thinking is great, but it's very delusional and "blue pill" to think your value will increase indefinitely. Get real. At 70, you'll be as appealing as you were at 25? You not only will be lower valuable, you'll be totally invisible.

And the time you spend alone can't be replaced. I test girls now early, I beta the hell out of them. Lots of kiss and cuddle.

If she's cocky and can't comprehend the benefits of a "soft" guy, I don't need them. I also make them work on my projects as a secretary, learning the skills to support my projects.

[TooFineAPoint]

Loving her isn't a problem if she also loves you, and you are your own source of happiness, and accept calmly that the relationship could end any day.

Extreme selfishness and extreme kindness go well hand in hand, I find.

Do you not want to love any women for a while? If so, why?

[LeoneVolpe]

Here's my take:

One of the easiest ways to avoid one-itis is by not allowing yourself to become a "kept man" in the first place. Chris Rock once said, "A man is only as loyal as his options." And it's true. If you're out pounding at least one other chick, you won't be left with just your dick in your hand if something goes south with your main girl. As Chateau Heartiste would say, "Always keep two in the kitty."

The problem is, once you enter into a relationship with an agreement of exclusivity, you lose A LOT of leverage. As others have said, women may like security in financial matters, but they don't like romantic security. Loyalty is a trait men greatly admire and rightfully so, but a woman knowing she's got you on-lock is a sure-fire way to turn her snatch into the Sahara.

Sexual Economics 101 - Supply and Demand

In a free market, prices are kept down due to competition. In a monopoly, a business can charge whatever it wants because there's no other competition to keep prices in check. Within the sexual marketplace, a long-term relationship is, essentially, a sexual monopoly.

Remember: The price of an item isn't just what one pays for it, but what it costs them.

Price is money spent on items like drinks and dates to get into a girl's pants. Cost is the emotional toll taken when a relationship keeps you from enjoying your life to the fullest, (e.g. distracts you from work and/or hobbies, causes physical/mental/emotional stress, takes time away from friends, etc.) With women, price may be negotiable but costs are inevitable.

The longer you're with a girl, the more reason she has to believe the pussy pipeline of your past has dried up and without any competition to keep her on her toes, the worse her treatment of you will become. This is why, in my opinion, you must continue to game other women even while in a relationship. If she knows you're ALWAYS going to be there, that NO MATTER WHAT you'll always be around than what incentive does she have to treat you well? Never underestimate the power of "dread game" to keep a woman in line. Psychologically speaking, people are more motivated by a fear of loss than a potential for gain. In other words, when she's worried about what you're up to -- she's not focused on the better deal she could be getting elsewhere.

Exclusivity + Male Comfort Zone/Discontinuing Game = Breakup

I think some guys make the mistake of wanting a long-term relationship so they won't have to put so much work into gaming women. This is a big-time logical fallacy. It takes every bit as much work, if not more, to attempt keeping one woman in all her never-ending fickleness happy than it does to go out and game other chicks. In fact, one red pill moment for yours truly was discovering it was easier to get pussy from a perfect stranger than it was from my own ex. It shouldn't be a magic trick for a guy to fuck his own girlfriend.

Understand I'm not trying to wholesale shit on relationships, but all too often the juice just isn't worth the squeeze. You'll quickly reach a point of diminishing return with a woman. Either you'll get bored of having sex with her and want to cheat, or she'll get bored of banging you and you'll end up leading a very infrequent or nonexistent sex life. Arguments will become more and more frequent, and over the dumbest shit. Meanwhile there's some cute chick walking around an outdoor shopping mall, bookstore or coffee shop just waiting to be gamed. Tonight instead of arguing, you could be laughing. Instead of waiting 'til your girlfriend goes to sleep to jerk off, you could be adding a "+1"

If you kept two in the kitty, as I suggested earlier, I don't think you'd have nearly as much of an issue with developing one-itis because you'd be preventing one woman alone from playing such a significant role in your life, the role of your sole pussy provider. Truly, it seems the one rule to rule them all when it comes to relationships: Always be willing to walk away -- and walking away is so much easier when you know you've got another pair or two of open legs waiting for you.

Here's an absolute MUST READ post from Chateau Heartiste:

"The Sixteen Commandments of Poon"
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixt...s-of-poon/

[XXL]

Seem like you answered your own question man...

Quote:

... after a while, I stop gaming her, stop calling her on her shit and stop tying her down and punishing her misbehavior...

Good news is that you're aware where you're messing up. You're halfway there. Now you have to apply yourself. We cannot help you do it.

[RatInTheWoods]

When you are a nice person, a generous lover and a kind and giving personality - its very hard to go against your in built nature to be successful with women.

For me the hardest part of swallowing the red pill wasn't the shock of learning female psychology nor the hard work of game.

It was changing my kind, loving generous nature to be more aloof, more arrogant and less giving person.

Its absolutely required for game, but I am not sure poosey is worth the cost to your soul.

[cosine]

Thanks fellas.

Quote:

Always be willing to walk away -- and walking away is so much easier when you know you've got another pair or two of open legs waiting for you.

You're right - I consciously knew that she could walk away, or that I could, but it was the best hot, young pussy I've had, and the needle went in deep. I knew I could get other pussy, but I only wanted her pussy.

In retrospect now I wouldn't say I relaxed that much, but I just knew the hypergamy was strong with her.

I think I found some really good answers in this jealousy thread, particularly Bacchus and WIA's posts:

Quote:

Jealousy is a warning sign. It warns you that your girl is slipping away and that your frame has been slipping. The only solution is to reevaluate your priorities.

My frame was slipping. Her ball busting comments grew more frequent, and she left town for a 4-week EMT course. By the time she hopped onto a plane I was happy to have some space between us.

Of course before she went she mentioned "Oh I just talked to my ex for the first time in a year it was great!"

Quote:

Being jealous about a chick finding the next man interesting, is like being mad that the dog will eat scraps that have fallen off your table.

That's a dog's nature. That's a chick's nature.

And she will see nothing wrong with laughing at the next man's dirty joke. She won't see anything wrong with going to her Ex's wedding. She won't say no to the group of guys who buy her and her friends some drinks @ girls night out.

[Dalaran1991]

Nice thread.

I dont think oneitis or jealousy in themselves are bad. Those are human and masculine emotion that makes up passion, which drives us to greatness. What is bad is how you let it control you.

Now that you have experience with oneitis, its a good thing to be aware when you are under one's spell. Recognize it and apply appropriate actions. Reframe and withdraw, and gaming other chicks are the most proven methods.

Quote:

I begin to love her

This is good and natural. What you need to fix, is falling in love with the wrong girl, who will dump you for falling in love with her. You cant fall in love with a no-LTR material. You find a good girl who will bond with you. Part of modern hypergamy's danger is that women lose their ability to bond.

You can focus on gaming young virgins 18-22. Usually (not always) a young unspoiled girl bonds much easier. Then you can be in love with her while still LTR-gaming her. Down side is that you will have to hold her hand.

You can try your luck with non-virgins but this is a bit more complicated.

[General Stalin]

Sounds more to me like this is just the effect of a good looking woman.

A hot bitch will render most mens' game weak. It's happened to me last year when I first moved to the city I'm in. Hooked up with this hard 8 for about a month. Knew from the onest she was a slutty club chick, not relationship material in the least, but because she was sexy as hell, said sweet things to me, and the sex was awesome I kept slipping up and slipping up.

Learn that all girls are just girls no matter how good looking they are. The sexy 9/10 you saw hanging out at the VIP lounge has the same MO and desires as 4/10 fat betty at barside playing cockblock for her 3 other friends who dragged her along to the bar.

There are millions of other hot girls. You let one go another one will show up. Nothing special about em. Once you internalize that mentality then you will be able to overcome oneitis.

[cosine]

Quote:

What you need to fix, is falling in love with the wrong girl, who will dump you for falling in love with her. You cant fall in love with a no-LTR material. You find a good girl who will bond with you. Part of modern hypergamy's danger is that women lose their ability to bond.

You can focus on gaming young virgins 18-22

Yup, last couple of relationships had big red flags. Previous one was 23, but was only a sophomore undergrad because she had spent a lot of time in S. America and also a month or two at a hostel in cancun of all places. Had a tat on her thigh and briefly worked as a nude model at the local university. Also hoop earrings, and we don't have that a lot around here(Colorado).

The last one was 19, hot, feminine, but lost her virginity at 14 and would talk about eating LSD at concerts when she was 15-16.

Quote:

Sounds more to me like this is just the effect of a good looking woman.

A hot bitch will render most mens' game weak. It's happened to me last year when I first moved to the city I'm in. Hooked up with this hard 8 for about a month. Knew from the onest she was a slutty club chick, not relationship material in the least, but because she was sexy as hell, said sweet things to me, and the sex was awesome I kept slipping up and slipping up

Yeah man. The last one was hot, bubbly, a little crazy, and would sweetly apologize when her salmon isn't perfect the way her mother taught her. Eventually the sweetness made me overlook the red flags, like the nipple piercing, and her young promiscuity. After 6-7 months of dating, when she'd talk about how loyal she was, I'd begin to believe it.

I felt like I only slipped up a little bit, in a few minor ways, and then she emotionally connected with some other guy. Can't fault him for that at all.

I just want to be honest with myself about what mistakes I made, and how much I can blame her hypergamous nature. Clearly it's a mistake to become that invested in a girl whose hypergamy runs deep, but frankly that's what I attract a lot, and of course she was hot. I think if I went from an 8-8.5 down to a 6-7 I'd be more able to keep a clear mind.

[Stadtaffe]

Hi Cosine, I embraced pickup for several years after an LTR and after banging a multitude of women am also with just one. Not sure when I will crack with the monogamy, it's probably inevitable, but comment here for you is the virtue of clean living. Drug free, piercing free, tattoo free, exotic dancer free. Even when I was playing the field I somehow instinctively limited those with the warning signs.

[Ogunn]

(12-02-2016 05:37 PM)cosine Wrote:  

I took the red pill three years ago following a breakup. I recognized my neediness and started fucking other women.

Since then I’ve banged 10 more chicks, mostly from my extended social circle. A couple of these made me pretty proud, particularly when I ran into a former female coworker on a United flight and nailed her in the bathroom mid-flight.

Clearly 10 chicks in 3 years is nothing to brag about around these forums, but around 7 or 8, I started to gain a lot more confidence and now I feel more satisfied with myself. I’m now bedding girls I enjoy with decent frequency.

Unfortunately, I still catch oneitis absurdly easily. I have enough game that I can get a woman to stick around, and typically they get pretty hooked. But after a while, I stop gaming her, stop calling her on her shit and stop tying her down and punishing her misbehavior.

The last one in particular made me a lot of awesome meals, gave great blowjobs, and would ask to be my gf. My father and uncle(people I look up to) are curious about my love life, I sent them a couple of pictures, and they gave me a lot of validation for shacking up with a hottie. I got hooked, and I’m sure she could literally smell the oneitis beginning to come out. Hypergamy reared its ugly head and she dumped me.

I consciously understand the baseline game principles, but my bluepill conditioning is deep. If she isn’t so great I just next her, but if I like her I begin to love her.

How do I fix this cycle?

IMO for you or any man to be able to maintain a happy relationship with a high value women he is going to have to be able to maintain a strong Alpha frame THE ENTIRE TIME. This cannot be faked, it has to be conditioned into the man. That can only come from the experience and confidence of having an abundance of highly desirable women. Interestingly enough once you have that confidence it will exude from your pours. It is a sweet smell that women find intoxicating and irresistible. I will not claim to have made it their yet. Like you I am on the journey. But the successes and experiences I have had convince me I am on the right track. The fact that you are on this asking these questions is proof that you to are heading in the right direction.

Below is a reply of mine to another thread but it is relevant here. Take heed and dont make the same mistakes I did.

I found out about formal game well after I got divorced. Had I known about game prior to dating my exwife. I probably would still be married to her.

What I think most guys dont understand about LTRs is that IMO they require MORE and not LESS work than being single.

I know a lot of guys who think they can relax or not have to go out as much when they are in LTRS. Or they can slack off on the workouts and not spend as much money on clothes.

Even when they are in LTRs my boys still end up going out 2 - 3 times a week to dinners. They also seem to go to some event every other weekend with their chicks. It is not enough to just be with a high status male. Women need to be seen with this high status male. They especially need to be seen by friends and family. This raises there status among their social circle.

Guys complain how their girl is constantly giving them shit about silly things. This happened to me in LTRs. Even after you lock them down women will still constantly shit test you. Its a subconscious thing where they test you to see if you still have the Alpha traits they fell in love with. What I didnt understand when I was married. Was that I should have not given in to any of this nonsense. Once you do, the shit tests will continue in frequency and severity. The less you give in to her the less shit test she will feel the need to send your way.

Although women are not as visual as men. And some will claim to prefer a cuddly body to a hard one. Once you stop working out and keeping up with the wardrobe. You will get less looks and flirtatiousness from other females when you are out with your chick. This will decrease the amount of jealously she feels. Which in turn overtime will make her feel less attracted to you. Not to mention if she kept herself tight. She will enviably start making mental comparisons between you and the bunch of dudes that are still up her ass, this will lead to temptation and over time this with other areas of neglect make a great recipe of infidelity.

These are just some of the reasons I think LTRs are way more work than just STR.

[stpete]

(12-02-2016 06:11 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

I test girls now early; I beta the hell out of them. Lots of kiss and cuddle.
If she's cocky and can't comprehend the benefits of a "soft" guy, I don't need them. I also make them work on my projects as a secretary, learning the skills to support my projects.

I don't agree with this strategy to "beta the hell out of them" and be the "soft" guy. I don't think you have to be a cuddle "soft "guy to test a woman at all.

I will never be more beta to test a woman. Listen you don't have to do that.

I'm going to be who I am and use good judgment. I would judge things as they come along with the experiences and understandings of women as who I am.

I'm quick to let a woman go if I am not happy with the way things are. But I don't need her to work in my business for me or "beta the hell out of them" to figure this out.

I find women will always be women and men should be men. Reversing roles? That's unnecessary and unnatural for the long term and understanding actual dynamics of relationships.

Be who you are. I don't think it's healthy mentally for yourself. Where do you draw the line and when?

I also don't understand having a woman you date working on your business as a secretary? To detemine again as a test if this is long term potential. I believe you are taking this too far to test a potential mate by getting her involved in your business.

I work for myself, and I do hire people. I get you are saying this is a test but this again is unnecessary.

That's my 2 cents. Do what works for you. With all respect, I think you should reconsider this strategy.

And yes I know you are in your late 50s. I will always be me and judge the circumstances as they come.