Not all of this is game related but I'd like to post to this thread anyway.
2016 was a major turning point in my life. I've been shy, lacked confidence, and never took the steps I knew I needed to take to change my life for pretty much all my life. That's not to say I've ever been depressed or that I've been wholly dissatisfied with life, it's to say I've been coasting for a good long while and I finally got fed up with it.
I first heard of Roosh way back when from Slubu's article:
http://www.returnofkings.com/16728/russi...ll-whores. I'm pretty sure I was looking up Russian porn or something like that, ha. A little while later, I saw Roosh's interview with Slubu that linked to RVF and I've been lurking ever since. For a bit over 3 years I've read Roosh and others like Mike Cernovich, Quintus, and religiously read the forum.
I've had all the information for those 3 yeras, I've had all the knowledge and stories laid out in front of me on a platter, but I never truly acted. I never took any goddamn risk to start the road onto what I truly wanted. In some ways, I felt I was reading these things so I must have been doing something right. And it's not like I was a failure or anything, I got into a good college, I was recruited to play college ball, and I had a good family life.
But, like I'm sure someone reading this might have felt at some point in their life, I always knew I was never truly doing my best, I was never allowing myself to be rejected, and I could be so much better if I all did was fucking
act. My relationships with others were not as deep as I wanted them to be, I was nowhere near where I wanted to be with girls, and I felt lonely. I was living in quiet desperation.
This fall, at 19 years old, I broke up with my girlfriend, my first one. It fucking wrecked me. Though I knew it was the right choice, I was an emotional mess and I felt like the rug had been ripped out from under me. I routinely laid down on my bed and cried all while carrying myself like half of my family died. My whole identity I had formed around myself had been shattered and I needed to do something or I would drown in my own wallowing. I needed a total reevaluation of my life in order figure out my own identity.
2 weeks in, I decided enough was enough: I started the path to figuring out what the fuck I could accomplish and to see what the hell I was made of. I read like a madman. I targeted the biggest obstacle I've had my whole life: my shyness and how I talked with others. And what I soon learned was the key to opening that potential you have inside of yourself, was to get past your own mental blocks and barriers.
I read: How to Make Friends and Influence Others, Gorilla Mindset, What Every-Body is Saying, and The Charisma Myth. But good lord what I did most of all was
act. I took what I read and did the best I could to apply it in my life. What happened is something that can never be taken back from me because its become a part of who I am.
After 1 month's time, my relationships changed: I was an active participant in the groups I was in, people sought me out, my ties grew with everyone I knew, and most of all I was having
fun. I was enjoying the challenge of life. My god it was wonderful. Two of the supremely emerging themes that came out of my success were this: living in the moment and gaining a genuine interest in the lives of others. I'm gonna post more about this soon.
I grinded and grinded and just tried to experience life. As the days went on I learned more and more that there isn't a single fucking secret on this earth. Experience and action reign true above all information and thought. You've got to live it to be it.
But I hit a speedbump. In the back of the mind, my breakup loomed over me and didn't allow me to reach true peace of mind. So I came to a conclusion after some more wallowing that popped up after the greatest win of the 21st century on November 8th. I allowed myself to let go of her and I allowed myself to move on. And I also thought to myself: if I'm gonna live, why in the hell would I live life feeling sorry for myself and sitting in quiet desperation? In 5 years I'll be 24, will I be a man with what I want? Or will I be the man who waited for the "right" moment like I've been doing for the past three years?
Some words Ed Latimore (if you don't follow him on Twitter you should) said struck a cord with me: It's one thing to not care about what others think, it's another to know they were never thinking about you in the first place. Another phrase I read somewhere online that's part of Mike's Gorilla Mindset book and A Guide to Rational Living (which I've yet to finish): There is no good or bad, only thinking that makes it so. I've been more comfortable with myself than I've ever been with those two ideas in mind.
But so much remains and I'm so excited to see what else I can do. Especially in respect to girls (I haven't had sex with any girls after my breakup). I really needed to figure out who I was before diving head on into the dating/hookup scene. I know the base I've laid will pay dividends, but only once I act. And so help me God, I will succeed.
Sorry for the book but I've always wanted to write this out. I want to thank each and every last one of you on this forum. I do not know where I'd be without you. My goal is to give back to the place that's given me so much.
Because I've almost completely ignored this thread's purpose in the first part of my post, my 'game' goals for 2017:
- Get with 5 girls
- Take action consistently and get some experience
- Get outside of my comfort zone