[TheDuncan]

Just turned 27 in September, been with a girl for about 5 months now and its going great, that isnt the point of this thread though.

I always had a bunch of jobs but they were all shitty pay, I moved here to PA from NY close to a year now, I had a few more shitty jobs but finally landed a decent one 2 weeks ago, its a factory job but its not hard work and I'll be getting close to $600 every week, I plan on working for a while until I can pay off any debts I have (credit cards from when I was partying a few years back with no plans) and see where I go from there.

Now it would be easy to make a life with this girl, keep working and move up in the company but I dont know if thats me.

So I am close to Penn State, I could take up some classes/courses, I could start looking into a trade school of some sort, I debated the military for a while but ultimately decided against it, I really dont want to be treated like a kid and have them have complete control of everything I do.

So yea things have been going pretty decent for me as of late and this job has been great so far but I cant stay in one place for too long I need to keep things moving, I need to feel like I am moving forward and accomplishing something in my life.

I would mention the fact that I want a kid and many of my friends and family my age have had or are having kids but I dont think its the right time, sometimes it feels like there is this pressure though, not really sure where it comes from but sometimes I get this feeling "man when am I gonna have a kid? Am I getting too old?"

So any ideas? I may not be doing the best for a 27 year old right now but at least I am doing a lot better compared to 24-25 when I didnt care about much other than partying, messing with chicks and substances.

[Matt3B]

Hi mate

I don't want to go into posting a huge message to you, but I'm sure you'll get a load of good advice following on from me.

I'm also 27, just for the record.

The thing that stood out most to me in your post was that you have moved a lot work-wise and this has given you itchy feet when you finally found something decent. I believe that as men, we have a desire for purpose in our lives that being a worker drone simply doesn't fulfil. It's why men get a lot of pleasure out of hobbies or creating something.

I would say for now, don't disrupt your current situation. Some sort of baseline continuity would do you some good. Going to the gym if you're not already will also massively help your mindset. Working towards a goal will take away an empty feeling that you have, or the feeling that you aren't going anywhere in life.

I am studying trading in my spare time, away from my normal 9-5 job that pays the bills. This gives me more purpose and fulfilment as opposed to what a lot of my peers go through: sinking themselves into work and distracting themselves with material possessions or entertainment to pass time. It's no wonder most people end up depressed.

You need to find something that really matters to you and to get working on it as soon as you can. A career or ambition that you've always had in mind, a passion or an interest: pick it up.

I hope this helps.

[TheDuncan]

Thanks man, like you said my plan is to keep this job to pay the bills and on my days off/spare time work on some goal, career advancement, thing is I am not sure what exactly to pursue.

[kaotic]

Duncan - first and foremost - you've made some GREAT improvements since you've joined the forum - I've checked out your threads and posts and given advice to you along with alot of other guys on here.

(11-22-2016 11:31 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Just turned 27 in September, been with a girl for about 5 months now and its going great, that isnt the point of this thread though.

I always had a bunch of jobs but they were all shitty pay, I moved here to PA from NY close to a year now, I had a few more shitty jobs but finally landed a decent one 2 weeks ago, its a factory job but its not hard work and I'll be getting close to $600 every week, I plan on working for a while until I can pay off any debts I have (credit cards from when I was partying a few years back with no plans) and see where I go from there.

Now it would be easy to make a life with this girl, keep working and move up in the company but I dont know if thats me.

Sounds like the girls on lock, you made improvements on your life and have some goals which is great !

Quote:

So I am close to Penn State, I could take up some classes/courses, I could start looking into a trade school of some sort, I debated the military for a while but ultimately decided against it, I really dont want to be treated like a kid and have them have complete control of everything I do.

The military isn't that bad - and you can take advantage of the GI Bill after you get out and get your schooling taken care of.

Penn state classes/courses are probably expensive - get your debt paid off first, see if you apply for financial aide (FAFSA)

A trade school would great, and getting into a union could possibly be even better.

Quote:

So yea things have been going pretty decent for me as of late and this job has been great so far but I cant stay in one place for too long I need to keep things moving, I need to feel like I am moving forward and accomplishing something in my life.

Why can't you stay in one place for long ? You've barely had this job for 2 weeks ?

Why would you move soon when you just got this job ? Are you forced to move around ?

Quote:

I would mention the fact that I want a kid and many of my friends and family my age have had or are having kids but I dont think its the right time, sometimes it feels like there is this pressure though, not really sure where it comes from but sometimes I get this feeling "man when am I gonna have a kid? Am I getting too old?"

Don't worry about your friends and family having kids - I can only count 2 other friends of mine who aren't married/engaged/have kids.

They've asked me before, I laugh, because I see the pros and cons of them in marriage and having children.

Your guts already telling you that it's not the right time, even thought your biological clock is telling your different.

You're 27, no you aren't too old, I'm a bit older than you and I'm not worried about that.

Quote:

So any ideas? I may not be doing the best for a 27 year old right now but at least I am doing a lot better compared to 24-25 when I didnt care about much other than partying, messing with chicks and substances.

This is YOU TIME - not anyone else, not your girls time, not your families time, it's YOUR TIME.

This is a critical window in your life to get your shit together and make something of your life.

It's obvious you're on your way to doing that.

Some action items on your list should be:

-Pay off all debt ASAP.
-Have a savings account
-Enjoy your girl, if she hinders your goals, next her
-Look into financial aide for school
-Look into recruitment at a enlistment office (see the financial incentives)
-Look into local trade schools/unions and/or on the job training.
-Look into better job opportunities locally.

[Truth Tiger]

Welcome to the forum. I found a renewed purpose and clarity in my life when I understood what my unique talent (or 'genius') was/is. The book that helped me understand that is this one.

You are at a place in your life I remember well - things mostly going well, got a girl you enjoy, decent job, but restless and unfulfilled. I went through this book when I was on my early 30s and wish someone had told me drop everything I'm reading or watching to work through it (it's a workbook you have to write in). It's the career counselor that most people never ever meet, and ultimately what you get out of it comes from how honest you are about what you spend your time doing, how big your imagination is, and how much energy you're willing to commit to pursuing and expressing YOUR genius when you discover it.

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Genius-Work-...0891061940

Buy the book. Work through it. This IS the perfect time. Any excuses are from fear (false evidence appearing rear) of the mind not wanting to really step into your full authority. I get the sense you are a strong and determined guy and I know from first hand experience it'll make a big impact on your clarity of purpose.

I have two businesses now that are different and both directly related to my genius. Every day I am excited to wake up and engage my heart and mind in my passions.

Once you do that workbook feel free to PM for other tips. David Deida is a speaker worth watching and the video "Spirit Sex Love" on YouTube also shows what awakened masculinity can look like. Side benefit is you will really become even more attractive to your girlfriend and many more women. With great power...

[TheDuncan]

Hey Kaotic, I appreciate that.

I dont mean Im gonna leave this job soon, I mean more along the lines of staying here for 5-10 years or longer as my only means of income/career.

5-10 years while I am advancing a passion or plan? Sure but not long term without any goals, last thing I wanna be is 40 something and stuck in a rut.

As far as military its gonna have to be real soon if I do it but I am thinking trade school is my best bet, maybe some classes here and there just for the experience but I really really want to travel, whether its country wide or outside of the US, I also need to sit down and think about what I really like to do and see if it is realistic for me to be successful at whatever it is.

[TheDuncan]

You also mentioned getting a savings account, I just got a new bank and was actually thinking about a savings account, I have never had one though, how do you guys manage it? Put a few bucks evey paycheck, do you get interest from the bank?

[peterfoo22]

I was in a similar position as you man. I was heavily in debt, no purpose, just bouncing from job to job, and no idea where to go from where I was.

I started reading some books and the biggest thing that changed me was a book called

-What To Say When You Talk To Your Self by Dr. Shad Helmstetter

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0055DW3WA/ref...TF8&btkr=1


Made a huge mindset change man. I went from a person who didnt care about anything, to someone of value. I strongly believe if you don't have the self esteem and belief in yourself, it doesn't matter what you do man.

This is a must for a foundation. If anything give it a try for like a week or two and I promise you'll see a big difference in your life.

P

[kaotic]

(11-22-2016 03:38 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Hey Kaotic, I appreciate that.

I dont mean Im gonna leave this job soon, I mean more along the lines of staying here for 5-10 years or longer as my only means of income/career.

5-10 years while I am advancing a passion or plan? Sure but not long term without any goals, last thing I wanna be is 40 something and stuck in a rut.

As far as military its gonna have to be real soon if I do it but I am thinking trade school is my best bet, maybe some classes here and there just for the experience but I really really want to travel, whether its country wide or outside of the US, I also need to sit down and think about what I really like to do and see if it is realistic for me to be successful at whatever it is.

Okay got it !

That makes more sense and yes focus on getting ride of debt, saving money, and building your income (new job, passive income, etc). Those should be your 3 major financial goals.

It's true you're hitting 30 soon, so it's either sign up or don't.

Yes I think a trade school would be great !

Sometimes you can take your trade overseas, or even find a job based in the states that has positions overseas.

Start writing down goals and what you're envisioning for your self.

(11-22-2016 03:57 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

You also mentioned getting a savings account, I just got a new bank and was actually thinking about a savings account, I have never had one though, how do you guys manage it? Put a few bucks evey paycheck, do you get interest from the bank?

Congrats ! Yes open a savings accounts. You can budget your paycheck by putting some of it away (say 10%). You might get some interest but it's usually super lower, low risk low returns.

Personally I have my company direct deposit into my account.

So it takes out money for additional stuff like matching 401K contributions and taking my medical out of it.

I manually transfer as much money as I think I'll be okay with over to my savings and try not to touch it.

[TheDuncan]

Thanks Koatic, got my savings set up, gonna be putting money in every paycheck.

I found a technical school near me, they have stuff like wielding, electrical installation, culinary, mechatronics.

I think you go in for classes, put in a certain amount of hours and get a certificate, Im gonna definitely look into that as soon as possible, even if a small certificate like that can get me into a company or work for as apprentice it would be worth it.

Still makes me think though, what about a passion, passion and career work are much different, can we truly be happy with a great job with great pay? What if you dont hate it or enjoy it, you just do it for the money, the money is good, is it worth doing for 30 years?

[MongolianAbroad]

(11-28-2016 11:32 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Still makes me think though, what about a passion, passion and career work are much different, can we truly be happy with a great job with great pay? What if you dont hate it or enjoy it, you just do it for the money, the money is good, is it worth doing for 30 years?

You don't have to do it for 30 years. Use that income to build passive income streams.

While most folks are signing away their youth in exchange for funds for the monthly payment on a new car, you can be spending your time reading, learning, and then taking action on creating passive income or active side-businesses that can grow to become your primary income stream.

Everyone has different drives, so only you can decide what will make you happy, but I'll say that at 27, most men do not know who they are yet, much less who other people are, such as the women in your life.

Over time, as you see the divorces, the broken families, and the broken men come to be, you'll start seeing the patterns, the why of how these things happen. On the opposite side, you'll start seeing the folks on the path to success, and you'll have some examples to emulate on that front as well.

For now, lower your expenses, increase your savings, use the savings to invest in yourself, enjoy the girl you're with if she's easygoing, and start laying the foundation for your future.

[Sonoma]

Ehhhhhhhh, I don't know what PA is like, but 600 a week sounds miserable.

I would definitely do the military if you can't afford school outright

[Truth Tiger]

(11-28-2016 11:32 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

I found a technical school near me, they have stuff like wielding, electrical installation, culinary, mechatronics.

I think you go in for classes, put in a certain amount of hours and get a certificate, Im gonna definitely look into that as soon as possible, even if a small certificate like that can get me into a company or work for as apprentice it would be worth it.

Sounds like you've got a path forward - trade schools are great for men; I'm a very hands on person too and my work involves mechanical as well as computer-based activities. But unless you know why you're going through a trade program, you might be doing it for the wrong reasons, the ones you're concerned about below:

Quote:

Still makes me think though, what about a passion, passion and career work are much different, can we truly be happy with a great job with great pay? What if you dont hate it or enjoy it, you just do it for the money, the money is good, is it worth doing for 30 years?

I also see you're still asking questions that only you can answer for yourself. From my experience, once I knew my genius and was applying it to my business I couldn't be happier and see my income increasing the more committed and passionate I am. My answer to your question is YES, you can be truly happy with a great job (or business even better) and build great pay as long as you aren't pretending to love something. If you're lying to yourself and just doing it for the money, or because someone says it's a good idea, you'll end up hating it. That's why it's crucial to know what is driving you. A good career counselor could do it but most of us don't have access to one and even then you may not get specific information to take action on. This book is all of that wrapped together.

So, since we're men and we don't blow 'feel good' smoke up each other's asses here, I'm going to again strongly recommend you reread my earlier post, buy the book I mentioned, commit to working through it. Let us know what your genius is, and what your purpose is.

We don't have answers for you, only suggestions. What you need to know is inside you waiting to come out and I've presented (twice) a well-reviewed resource to help you find those answers. Good luck.

[TheDuncan]

Sonoma, you think the military really pays better? Sure there is the fact that you wont be spending on rent, utility bills or even food considering all that is provided but at 27 I would have to get into something that will really benefit me and I will learn a good trade, makes no sense to go into something combat related, come out at 32 years old having not learned anything I can use in the real world.

On top of that you have to deal with a lot of extra bullshit and who knows what else.

As far as $600 its not that miserable for me, I come from a poor family so I know how to save and cut corners with expenses, I definitely am not wasting my money.

[TheDuncan]

Thanks truth tiger, I will get that book and work on it, just another means of knowledge and help.

[RatInTheWoods]

It doesn't have to be complicated to organise a savings/future fund.

Religiously put aside 10% of your income, automatically and with discipline.

Invest that so its working for you (start with a bank deposit and research and investigate better returns later as it builds)

Simple but requires discipline.

A simple habit of saving at last ten percent will set you up for life.

[Sonoma]

The military pays absolute shit, but it enables a great deal of saving. The VA loan and school benefits can be extensive. Depending on what they train you for, you can easily exit after 4 years with very useful skills

I know friends who went from nuclear subs to nuclear facilities, patrolling Afghanistan to police officers or fixing trucks overseas to fixing trucks here.

Or they did something totally unrelated back in the states, but got their college paid for, plus their home loan.

Do you qualify for financial aid for college classes?

[Suits]

I got some bad news for you. If you aren't by age 30, well into the process of develop a skillset that pays well, you probably never will make much money.

Skills take time to develop. It's not impossible after 30 (although you'll be competing with guys 10 years younger than you who have a lot more energy and fewer responsibilities), but if you couldn't figure out what you want to focus on by that age, why would the next decade change anything?

Too many guys let years of their life go by waiting for some glamorous opportunity to jump up in front of them.

Forget about that. Find something that you find moderate enjoyment in, that gives you the freedom to avoid stupid co-workers and bad bosses and work hard to be good enough at it that you can live an ideal lifestyle of comfort and satisfaction.

I used to want the glamour career as well, but when push came to shove and I needed to make money, I did what I knew I could do.

I now earn about $70K per year playing with little kids and I love it, because I do it on my own terms, I can drop any client who annoys me too much and I can take vacations whenever I choose (provided I'm willing to miss out on earning some cash). Best part is that if I ever get tired of China, I could do the same thing in at least a half-dozen other countries.

While what I do isn't glamorous, it's in a field where demand exceeds supply and I've gotten good enough at what I do that I'm virtually irreplaceable -- and therefore I call the shots.

Most importantly, doing this work has made me knowledgeable about the field that I'm using my earnings to create products that I will be able to sell to others. No one else is creating these products, because they simply do not know that the need exists.

[TheDuncan]

Understood, I am not saying Im gonna become a movie star or star athlete at 27 and make millions but I have time to really start some things up and have a rewarding 30's or 40's.

I dont ask for much, I want money in my bank, I dont have to be a millionaire but I dont want to be broke ever again, I want to always have money in my bank account, I want to travel to different states, other countries, see other cultures, have more success with women, I just want to enjoy life, somehow I am going to get there, took me a while to understand certain things and even longer to implement them but I am here now and going into my 30's I want to be experienced, ready and willing to better myself.

[booshala]

(12-01-2016 03:19 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Understood, I am not saying Im gonna become a movie star or star athlete at 27 and make millions but I have time to really start some things up and have a rewarding 30's or 40's.

I dont ask for much, I want money in my bank, I dont have to be a millionaire but I dont want to be broke ever again, I want to always have money in my bank account, I want to travel to different states, other countries, see other cultures, have more success with women, I just want to enjoy life, somehow I am going to get there, took me a while to understand certain things and even longer to implement them but I am here now and going into my 30's I want to be experienced, ready and willing to better myself.

What have you done up to now to earn a rewarding life in your 30's or 40's? I'm not trying to pick on you, yet I see a big disconnect in your background vs your desires. From your comments, it seems like you don't have a degree, lead an itinerant lifestyle moving place to place, job to job. Those are not the attributes of a man setting himself up for a comfortable life.

It's good that you understand that you need a change, but I think you're focusing on what you think are modest end-goals (non millionaire money in the bank, travel, success with women) without having an actionable plan to achieve those things. If you read some of the early retirement bloggers, they suggest saving up 25x your annual expenses as a goal for financial independence... when you can basically say "I'm living the way I want to".

If you want to replicate your lifestyle at the $600/week income level at your job right now, that's around $750k in assets to travel, meet women, all that without having to worry about "always having money in the bank". Much less than that, and you have the very real possibility of using all the money before you die, or having to try and find work again at an advanced age.

If you're serious about achieving the lifestyle you've laid out, I'd suggest increasing your income significantly and grind for 8-10 years while keeping your expenses the same or ideally lowering them. I'm guessing the fastest way to do this is to learn some sort of skilled trade like electric work, plumbing, welding, etc and always looking for higher paying jobs, added side work and moonlighting, maybe even starting your own business.

During this time your lifestyle is going to suck because your main focus is going to be trading your time for money. Travel, girls, fun are all going to be distant seconds to stacking cash, but once you have that money, you can essentially stop working entirely and just live off interest while pursuing your goals. Added benefit is that you have a strong skill set that you can dust off at any time in case you need money and/or are just bored.

OR

If you've made an honest assessment that you don't have it in you to learn new skills and sacrifice/grind for a decade, then apply for a government job: ideally local or county. Solid benefits, lots of paid time off, one of the few true pension plans left around, decent pay, especially at the lower levels. I knew lots of people at my old city job that did the least amount of work possible, took 6 weeks of PTO, didn't stress about office politics and still made $50,000 answering phones, working in the vehicle shop, etc. I've worked at a variety of different companies and organizations both in the US and overseas and government work struck me as the most stress free, least "real work" job I've ever held.

The work will most likely not be satisfying but if you find a municipality in a well-off area, the chances of lay-offs are slim and relatively easy, life-long employment is a viable plan. You'll be beholden to your boss just like any other job, but everyone else around you is coasting so it's not like your lack of effort will get you in too much trouble. You'll make more money than you are now and you can take several mini vacations annually because of the PTO. If you put in 20+ years, your pension will likely be a decent percentage of your last year's pay and that plus Social Security should take you into retirement without too many hassles.

I've been down both paths and they both had their pros/cons but I'm overall happier using option 1 for an early exit from the rat race. I don't know what's right for you but hopefully it's food for thought. Good luck in your endeavors.

[TheDuncan]

Thank you and you are right, its nice to have dreams of grandeur but have you done anything to achieve or even be on the road to that lifestyle?

I realize I havent done much of shit in my 20's due to bad decisions and instant gratification (partying) but I believe I am on the road to recovery and plus some, I am saving more than spending (not a lot of income atm), I am looking into a trade school and hoping to get my foot in the door to something, and from there work hard and save, save and save.

One great thing my dad taught me was hard work, many in my generation are lazy and entitled, every job I have had even my current are full of them, complaining, looking for shortcuts or just outright quit, I will always have the advantage of work ethic, even when patrying I never missed a day, was on time and did my job.

I really have to make up for lost time here.

[booshala]

(12-01-2016 09:49 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Thank you and you are right, its nice to have dreams of grandeur but have you done anything to achieve or even be on the road to that lifestyle?

I realize I havent done much of shit in my 20's due to bad decisions and instant gratification (partying) but I believe I am on the road to recovery and plus some, I am saving more than spending (not a lot of income atm), I am looking into a trade school and hoping to get my foot in the door to something, and from there work hard and save, save and save.

One great thing my dad taught me was hard work, many in my generation are lazy and entitled, every job I have had even my current are full of them, complaining, looking for shortcuts or just outright quit, I will always have the advantage of work ethic, even when patrying I never missed a day, was on time and did my job.

I really have to make up for lost time here.

Your mentality is really assuring, I was afraid that you'd fall into the cliche entitlement traps of millenials. TBH, my work ethic is normally quite shitty but I currently work about 80-90 hours a week at my business. The grind is worth the eventual payoff 3-4 years down the road. You got a big leg up on me in that regard. I wish the best for you.

[TheDuncan]

Thanks again, now its time for research, what can I get into that can pay off in a big way with hard work, I have heard about electrical work for a long time, even plumbing I have heard good things about.

Whatever I can put in hours and get good money I am good for.

I have also heard about oil rig work which can bring in big bucks but is extremely long hours and hard work.

Lets see.

[ScrapperTL]

There is a 99% chance you are never going to be truly happy or rich in life working for someone else.
I'm not going to sugar coat it, this is the truth.

If you are willing to put in some effort, I can only show you the doors to what worked for me - it's up to you to open them (sound familiar?)

Look up my posts about Craigslist, Scrap Metal Recycling and Lawn Care Maintenance Services.
These are 3 separate Side Hustles you can start in your free time that have some awesome things in common.
The more effort you put in the more money you make.
You are the man in charge.
Low startup costs in relation to other Businesses.

Most importantly remember it is 100% your choices and decisions that decide where you are in life right now.
Focus on the positive aspect of this, not the negative.
Destiny is the outcome of what you do daily.
Pick the most optimal choices today and 5 years from now you could be bangin' away in your own McMansion.

[bushcraft9]

I can only say what my philosophy is in my life and whether you like it or not it is up to and to any other person reading it. First foremost don't care what society tells you what is the right way to live, whether that is being married, not living with family whatever, just do whatever suits you brother. Stop travelling, making pointless trips abroad or another city, stop moving around, stability I.e. familiarity with the environment is what I consider the bedrock to developing and improving one self. My goal is to one day live self suffienctly, I.e. own a farm, so I am learning skills such as how to grow fruit and veg in the garden, how to fish, hunt etc. These are skills that will not only enable me to live independent off society but also provide a service to people such as teaching or writing a book, so either way I can always feed myself. And that is it, as long my basic needs covered food water then I don't stress myself out, and if there not I just go out and do ome hustling to come food on table. I will dedicate some time each day to learn skills related my goal and then rest of the day enjoy being alive, so balance between living in the present and the future. Blessings