[Meat Head]

We have all heard about how women play hard to get, send mixed signals, expect you to beg for pussy and go out of their way to not be perceived as loose. There is something I don't understand about how women don't want to be called sluts. Women do a lot of things that suggest that they want to be seen as sluts. They dress in skimpy clothing, drool publicly over celebrities, act in sex videos and throw themselves at alpha males.

Is the anti slut defence just reserved for betas and ugly broke dudes? Do game veterans ever experience a situation where a girl dresses like a slut and acts like a virgin? What is the real motive of playing 'hard to get'? Why the contradiction?

[TornadoByProxy]

How women dress does not make them sluts. Where are you from?

[XXL]

Teevster Wrote:

Anti-Slut Defense - What It Is & How To Handle It (Long And Detailed)

For us men, in most cases we would have sex with a girl simply due to the fact that we are horny and that we find a girl attractive. However it turns out to be much more of a deal for women to just have sex with a random guy. You might often wonder why it is the case that for us men, we just want to have sex because we are aware of the fact the sex feels good but on the other side, women tend to reject sex offers and in worst cases acts overtly a-sexual toward you– like if they genuinely didn’t enjoy sex. Is it then the case that men loves sex and women doesn’t? We men have a drive toward sex that is our awareness that sex is good for us. Do women believe sex is a bad thing?

Well, just to make it clear, women loves sex. They have to as our biology wants it to be that way – it would become a very tricky thing to reproduce if only men and not women did like sex. We can conclude that both men and women love sex. Any experienced seducer will agree that women loves sex as much as men. But then our question remains: ”why does women behave in a certain a-sexual way when we men try to proceed with a sex offer? It would make no sense for us to say that women loves sex as much as we do, while at the same time, they behave like they might not enjoy sex at the same time. The whole question is indeed a very confusing one.


Anti-Slut Defense Explained

The answer is that women do love sex, and you should always keep that in mind, however women, aside from men do not only need to feel horny or find their potential mate attractive to have sex with them but they also need to feel ”allowed” to proceed. Men are driven by desire, and so are women, but women also have a defence mechanism that do not allow them to accept sex invitations or act sexually toward men. This defence mechanism is called ”ASD” also known as “anti-slut defence”. Roughly, anti-slut defence is what we men label as ”all the reasons women have to not have sex with a man”. It is a defence mechanism that tries to bypass and work against her desires to have sex with a certain man. As we men, are driven by desires, we would in most cases just jump into the situation whenever we find it pleasurable. The reason is that we beside women do not get much consequences (nor do we really care about them) from having sex as women would – she could get social consequences, as we all know women gets labelled as sluts from having sex with multiple partners, but they also have a lot of consequences that have biological causes. The biological causes of ASD are enhanced by our social norms. Therefore we should consider two types of anti-slut defence – namely the ”social ASD” and the ”biological ASD”. I will in this post explain the type generated by social conditioning, as it is the strongest one in our ”civilized world” and the one that will cause you most trouble. However, I will follow up with an explanation of the biological one as well while cover some technique and ways to handle it in another post. So today we simply cover the most common and important type of ASD – the one generated from social conditioning.

Consider an average looking man, a man that is neither good looking nor bad looking. He has average social skills and he is neither attractive nor unattractive – he is just a guy. Consider this man being locked up in a room with a girl. Both of them are well aware of the fact that nobody aside of them will ever know what has taken place in that room – so what ever happens in this room will be a secret to the outside world. The man starts touching the woman (physically escalating) is getting really turned on. What would happen? Wells she will most likely have sex with that man. Why is that so? Well the man’s touching indeed turned her on touching- as we known physical escalation is attractive, but she felt allowed proceeding. As the man is neither attractive nor unattractive, the escalation itself creates a certain desire within the woman to have sex with that man. Consider that nobody will ever find out about what is about to happen in that particular room, the woman doesn’t feel exposed to social consequences – sanctions. Therefore she would have less reasons to ”control herself” by holding her desires back - which means she feels more allowed to have sex with that guy. However if that scenario were taking place in a public place, where her friends might be around, the outcome would have been drastically different as she is then exposed to social reactions. In this case she might desire to have sex with that particular guy, but as her anti-slut defence would be up, she doesn’t feel allowed to have sex with him. To conclude, in order to have sex woman, a good rule of thumb is to make her desire having sex with you while making her feel allowed to do so.


Isolation

As we see, we have indirectly covered one of the most simple, yet most efficient ways of dealing with her ”social ASD” – which is isolation. As we saw in our example, the woman and the man were isolated from the social world. This way everything between you two becomes more of a secret and therefore a lot of her fears of being a victim of social consequences such as slut-shaming, will be removed, making her feel more allowed to proceed. Isolation will do wonder when ever you try to pick up women. Whenever you manage to isolate a woman away from social surrounding, everything will be way easier for you. Isolation can be done by either extracting a girl away from a venue with you, to take her back to your place or even simply sit in a more peaceful area without having her friends around – basically it is all about getting some privacy with her. The faster you manage to isolate her away from others, the easier it will be. Now, many women would not allow themselves to be isolated with a stranger right away, this is why you might need to make her and her friends enjoy your company and feel comfortable with your presence - this is done by creating rapport or increasing her level of attraction, often both should be considered – in order to create rapport, find conversation topics you all like, discuss them and get to know each other better – but keep in mind that you shouldn’t overdo it as it will kill too much of the sexual tension – hence the level of excitement – as we know ”desire” is also an important aspect.


Persistence

Another good technique against ASD, which is very simple, is persistence. When ever a women is resisting to your sexual escalation as a result of ASD you can simply persist. By persisting it means that you simply avoid the fact that she is resisting and keep doing what you are doing. This does not only convey that you are very confident but that you are taking the guilt for what is about to happen – as you are persisting no matter what she is saying or doing which you are the guilty one, you are the one that made it happen, not her – you are the cause of the trouble. This removes a lot of her guilt feeling and she will use it as an excuse to herself and even toward her friends that she is a “victim, hence innocent and hence not a “slut” as she got somewhat “forced” to commit into behaving sexually toward you. Now this technique is very simple and very efficient however it needs to be calibrated properly. A mis-calibration can make you lose her completely, or even worse, it can cause you legal problems. Always know when to stop persisting. Keep an eye on how she reacts, if her reaction becomes so negative you should stop right away. Also, make sure you don’t come off as needy as neediness is a game killer as it shows you lack of options making you perceived as less attractive. The main difference between persistence a neediness is that persistence is defined by the fact that you are just proceeding without really directly reacting to/taking into account her resistance while neediness is supplication where you show her you are really desperate – huge difference. A good rule of thumb in order to avoid being too needy (or getting into legal problems) is by persisting three times – whenever she resists you avoid it and keep going. If she does so more than three times within a short time span, just leave it there and move on.


Social Value And ASD

Social status and value does also play a role when it comes to ASD. Your social status will often play a role in defining whether the woman will have her shields up or not. Consider the scenario where a not groomed socially retarded man with apparently a bad attitude tries to approach a particular woman. He tries to escalate and gives her a sex invitation. Apparently there are no doubts that whenever she accepts the invitation and the following get exposed to the social world, it would give the girl way more social consequences than in the case of a well-groomed, socially intelligent man did the same thing. The reason being is that women cares a lot about their social status, for her being well-perceived is very important – we all know this from high school – and it is true for grown up women as well. In fact she cares about what her friends thinks of her, and it then follows that the men in her surrounding and even those who she is having sex with will have a certain impact on her social value. Therefore, whenever a man has a certain amount of social value, not only will it be more acceptable socially to have sex with that man, but her friends will also accept that man being the lover of their friend more than a man with lesser social value. Women do care about their social value, which means they do care about what other thinks of her – which also means that she cares a lot about how her friends think of her potential mate.

However, social value can also have some negative consequences as it can backfire and even generate ASD. Previously, we explained it as something that is generated in virtue of something “external” to her, such as her being afraid of being judged by others – and that only. The other type of social ASD is generated not only from something external but is also generated by something internal to the women – in this case we are mostly talking about how she feels about herself, how she feels she is being perceiving by others, especially by us men. Keep in mind that the differences between the type that is caused by something internal and something are not huge and there is something causal between them both – they are causing each other. They are both grounded in her being afraid of being judged. However there are some differences – in the first case the cause is her friends and how she is afraid of being judged by other. The latter case ix rather about “how she feels about herself” – whether she feels attractive or not. In order to understand the last type of ASD we need to cover how women perceive male expectation toward female sexuality and the other way around.


"Lover VS Provider" Theory And The M/W Complex

Women are seeking two types of mates – call it different providers. Consider sex being a trade, what you are trading for the sex defines what kind of provider you are. The men women are seeking who are confident, independent, attractive having a lot of women chasing them are called “sex providers” – this is the man women finds sexually attractive – the man who women would like to have sex just for the sake of having sex. These men are often behaving sexually toward women, making themselves being perceived as sexual beings – sex providers. This type of men is usually called “alpha males” or “lovers” in community lingo. Important to point out, these men are trading sex for sex. However, these are a minority – whereas the majority of men are providers of anything else of women’s needs such as social value, material goods, emotional support and so on. These men will trade something else than sex in for having sex with a woman. As a matter of fact this type of providers tend to get sex from being in relationships with women.

Now you might ask why is that a problem? Well whenever a woman gets “too attracted to you” in ways that are not purely sexual (-i.e. not perceiving you as lover/sex provider), women will tend to act in very pure and a-sexual way toward those men – she will start expressing purity. This is because she feels more attractive when ever she acts non-sexual toward men and feels unattractive when she is behaving too sexually or promiscuous. Women in fact believe we men do not like women who are sexually open – as they are very familiar with the complex many men have which is called “the Madonna/whore” complex. There are many versions of this complex but the most common one is described as men perceiving women as either plain whores, who are just sex tools without, who are useless when it comes to relationships, or “madonnas”, which men perceives as pure and good. These “madonnas” being known as the pure and correct women, are often perceived by men as better fitted for relationships. Women aware of the following will then act in way that communicates that she is a Madonna - in order words she will behave very a-sexually toward male who they perceive as potential relationship candidates. This is because they believe, and they are right in most of the case that men usually do prefer women that are “pure and correct” because men fantasize about women that are exclusive to them.

The sad fact is that the idea of the pure Madonna remains just a plain fantasy. The cold fact is that no women are pure madonnas, neither are they whores for that instance – any women can be sweet and correct, but they are also “whores” as every women have a sexual biological drive – this is a universal truth about healthy women. Still many men believe some madonnas do exist – we have all heard “she is not like the rest”. Now the problem occurs whenever a man is too attractive to a woman in a way that is not just purely sexual, she starts perceiving that man as a boyfriend potential – nothing bad with that, but she will perceive him as a provider – meaning that the relationship would not be based on the sexual aspect. Therefore she is better off expressing her “Madonna side” by showing purity – acting a-sexual in order to win her man over, as that what believes works. This is why women will often make men wait for sex – “I am not that kind of girl” –, which is something we don’t want to happen. We don’t want women to act pure toward us, as we want sexual openness – women fucking us quickly and good. Many times we just want to simply fuck a girl, not enter a relationship – or if we do want to enter a relationship with that girl, we do not want to commit on a false premise – her being a pure Madonna. A quick word of advice is to never ever enter a relationship on her terms – as you don’t want to exchange sex for anything else than sex. Keep in mind that you can easily start relationships with women by being perceived as a sex provider – these relationships will be of better quality and last longer.


Being Perceived As A Lover – Sexual Framing

In order to avoid this purity frame is by treating her like a sexual being. By accepting the fact that women love sex, that she has some particular sexual desires or sex fantasies will affect your behaviour toward them. It is understandable that many men have a hard time believing women being sexual beings but any experienced seducers would agree with the following statement. When you will learn the skills and get laid regularly, you will also agree with the following. By treating her as a sexual being, you will make her feel way more comfortable about behaving sexually toward you. This will make her feel accepted for who she is and therefore the level of ASD would be much lower – resulting in you getting laid faster in a more genuine way. A lot of ASD will also be removed when she perceives you as a sexual man – a sex provider who she will trade sex for sex with. By being sexual toward her and letting her know that you basically only can provide her a good time with good sex will make her believe that sex is the only thing she can get from you and therefore she doesn’t feel the need to make herself perceived as a Madonna- the purity frame will then be bypassed. A good way to make you perceived as a sex-provider is using sex talk.

Behaving a sexual being is similar to treating her as one. Similar children usually play together. Sex and seduction being a mutual form of communication, means that any of your behaviour is relative to who she is – who you perceive her to be. That means that whenever you are being sexual, you are showing her that you believe she is a sexual being as well. That is why being sexual works so well, because it makes her perceive you as a lover (a provider of sex) but it also makes her feel that you are understanding her true nature – a woman who enjoys sex. She would therefore not put her shield up and act pure, because she will feel that you will not fall for it, nor does she has any reasons to make it so. In order to make her perceive you as a sexual being – and to treat her like one, you simply have to behave like one. This means that escalating sexually, enjoying her feminine body, using sexual eye contact, talking about sex, flirting sexually… are good tools.


Punish/Reward - Sexual Qualification

By making her feel attractive for being/acting sexual will bypass a lot of her ASD – like complimenting her on her sexual behaviour. Whenever a woman is acting sexual toward you – she should be rewarded. A good way to reward her is by qualifying yourself to her by giving her a compliment like for example: “you are so sexy when you are being so sexually open”, but an ever better way to reward her is by escalating physically on her – reward good behaviours with physical escalation. However, if she is behaving a-sexual toward you, you can punish her by disqualifying her with the purpose of making her qualify herself back to you. Like whenever she behaves in an appropriate way, you disqualify yourself, so that in order for her to gain positive attention back from you, she is forced to qualify herself t – in other words, behave the way you would like her to behave. This can be done by either freezing her out a little, or telling her how you find that particular a-sexual behaviour of her unattractive – like for instance if you are acting sexually toward her and she reacts badly, you can tell her about how you find sexual closeness unattractive and that you prefer people who are more open minded. However keep in mind that this technique, yet so powerful is more risky to pull off as it requires her being somewhat attracted to you in order to make it work. She will not qualify back if she isn’t attracted to you – attraction is required to make her qualify. This whole concept is basically all about rewarding good behaviour” and “punishing bad behaviours” with the purpose of motivating her to behave in a “good way” – the way we would like her to behave, and in our case, we would like her to act sexual and not hold herself back.


Sexual Re-Framing

We have now covered many important points. A lot of techniques have been discussed and covered. However keep in mind that it is not required to use every techniques all the time – you don’t want to do more than necessary and in many cases doing so can work against you. What techniques you choose to use depends on which you prefer, the girls you are interacting with and the situation. Most of the techniques covered so far do indirectly remove some ASD but none of them will bypass it completely. The most powerful way to remove ASD is by not only understanding that sex with a condom isn’t a big deal, but convey it to women. Convey to her that you are low-key and that you don’t judge women for sex and make them know you are well aware of their situation (that they get labelled as sluts for behaving promiscuously) – showing understanding is indeed an attractive trait. As we have covered earlier, there are two very important reasons for why women are not “feeling allowed” to have sex with men (having ASD) – those are that she is afraid of how other people will judge her and how you would judge her. When she feels that you are a low-key man who will not tell anyone about what is going on between you, she will feel less threatened to be exposed and get social consequences from the “social world” – be a secret lover. The other huge reason is because she is afraid of how you will react or perceive her whenever she behaves too sexually toward you. As we have covered above, many men suffer from the Madonna/whore complex resulting in women trying to make men perceive them as “pure”. By letting her know that you find her attractive whenever she behaves sexually and that you are not judging her for her sexual desires you will make her ease up and allow herself to act sexually toward you.

The way you convey the following is by simply talking about it to her - you tell her about how you perceive things, how you don’t judge women for being sexual, how well you understand their situations (use what you have learned earlier in this chapter as inspiration) and how you avoid her getting social consequences (by mentioning how low-key you are). The reason this works wonders is because you are showing sexual openness which will make her feel comfortable about behaving in a sexual manner toward you as you have communicated to her that you are not like every other men – you will not judge her and that you are low-key. This way, she doesn’t feel threatened by the fact that she can get labelled as a slut as you have just shown her that you are none-judgemental and neither will she fear that has what happened or what is about to happen between you two will ever be exposed to her “social world”. This technique is the most powerful technique against ASD but it requires some calibration and is hard to pull off properly for very fresh beginners.

In order to be congruent with this technique you need to mean everything you say – that means that if you tell her you are low-key, then you should be so, if you say you are non-judgemental – then be non-judgemental. In fact, why shouldn’t you be low-key, it is your sex life, and there are no reasons for you to tell everybody about it, especially when you are now well aware of the consequences it can have for her. Also you should not be judgemental – we are in fact discussing how to have sex with women, judging them for participating in what we are working so hard for is paradoxal. Being judgemental is a turn off to women, and it is a very unattractive trait. Be non-judgemental, because there are no reasons for you to judge women for sexual behaviour as sex is completely natural and feels good – show some respect to our sexuality. Keep in mind that women are big talkers, so whenever you get a rumour of being non-judgemental and low-key, the words will be spread and you will have a much easier time getting laid.


Conclusion

We have now covered many ways to handle ASD. Most of these techniques works and have been field tested by myself and many other players around the globe. However it should be noted that these techniques, being good are not foolproof. There will be some cases where you will meet stuck up girl. Your time is precious and you should respect it, so I would like to suggest that in case you stumble across a hard-case, you simply let her go, leave her, erase her of your mind and proceed by meeting new women who might be more open for having casual sex with you. There are plenty of women out there who are looking out for a lover – as I have covered, those are a minority, meaning that there is a high price on your head. You now hold something exclusive and you shouldn’t sell it for a low price. You expect positive behaviour and a certain degree of sexual openness from women. Being a man of standard is attractive.