[RandomGuy1]

Hello guys!

I can't really get to the point where I'm clear about what is my goal in life respectively what is my live vision.

So for many years I've been reading several books about self-improvement, entrepreneurship and all those stuff from the self-help corner of your favorite bookstore.

Here are some examples (only a fraction):



So my number 1 mistake is that I don't really take action. I admit that I'm aware of that, finally. I made all those exercises which they insisted that I should do, but I went not really further than that. Or in other words, I didn't really made progress in life overall.

I wrote down my life vision a couple times, I wrote down my goals in life, personal goals, financial, in terms of relationshipt etc. I wrote down where I'm good at. I made a vision board. You name it, I did it.
I also made excerices where you have to sit down, close your eyes and imagine your ideal life which is called guided imagination. Nothing really helps me in the longterm.

But at the end I have to admit that I'm not really more clear about my purpose in life. So I guess I'm having a buffer overflow from reading all these books. When I reflect, I come to the conclusion that I only jumped from one book to another in the hope that the next book will give me the ultimate answer to my problem. But they don't.

It feels like that I walked into a big trap.

I would do anything to get to point where I'm really experiance intrinsic motivation but I'm completly lost. At the same time I say to myself that this cannot be so hard to find out. What is the meaning that one person has to struggle in such a way that it seems to be a complete waste of time to be on this planet.

Any thoughts or questions?

[TravellingSoldier]

1) Start taking action. A friend of mine once told me "you cant teach experience" and that's stuck with me. Learnt more about business/marketing/sales in the last 9 months of working than years prior when reading

Now cmo of business doing 40k per month and (just in case yoyrw wondering who is this guy to give advice)

2) Read only when you get to a point where you know nothing or need to improve specific areas of knowledge

3) Stop looking for perfection in your goals. If you have a set of principles instead it's much easier to switch gears

4) It's all mindset. From books above it looks like you'd 'like' to be rich. But if you don't actually believe you will be one day if you just keep putting in the work - that doubt will manifest itself into your actions and have you working on stupid shit like tweaking your posts on social media to get an extra couple likes vs. taking action on higher level stuff

Just take action and stop thinking so much

[GlobalMan]

Quote:

But at the end I have to admit that I'm not really more clear about my purpose in life

The purpose is not clear because you are making the mistake of trying to "find" one- when really you must create it, continuously, as you go along.

There is no answer or solution to life that you must first search for and find in order to be fulfilled and move forward. There is only the culmination of small decisions and actions you take each day, the doing and accomplishing of things you enjoy and which challenge you.

The only way to get closer to what you want, which is contentment and sense of "purpose", is to start doing things. Through that doing you will discover, refine, and even change many times in life what your "purpose" is.

[Zanardi]

(08-17-2016 02:42 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Quote:

But at the end I have to admit that I'm not really more clear about my purpose in life

The purpose is not clear because you are making the mistake of trying to "find" one- when really you must create it, continuously, as you go along.

I agree here. I think that you are in a point in life where self-help books cannot help you anymore. This is all about you and what you want. Tony Robbins can only give you ideas, but it's up to you to find out what to do next.

[Il Sorpasso]

Was in the same boat aswell until a couple of month ago... These self help books are a plague.
I agree with all the above, you dont really need to find your path. This video explains it better
https://youtu.be/IIMu1PGbG-0
Just consider what you value the most and then choose a career that matches these values. For example in my case i want to travel at least 6 month a year and have a job that is kind of artistic. The best choice for me, considering the job market, is to become a web developer/designer. Im not really enjoying it right now, but i know i will.
These self help books make you think you need to become the next jesus christ in order to be happy.
My advice is make a decision, then stick to it and evaluate next year.

[Phoenix]

I'd like to know the percentage of people who've read "the 4 hour work week" who've ended up living 4 hour work weeks. I'm guessing it's a millionth of a percent.

The number one thing you need to determine is your strength. Nobody is long enough here on this earth to succeed just by wanting something. The absolute last thing on earth I'll ever be is an interpreter/translator, no matter if they're all getting paid $1M/year, because I have zero aptitude for languages. I have strengths elsewhere though -- so I'm launching headlong into those as my best shot.

Try to think back to what you liked to do as a kid, anything that interested it. I'm firmly of the belief that, due to the shithaus "education system", people's innate strengths are not being accurately detected and kindled. This was certainly the case with me, where my innate strength was kind of looked at sideways by parents/teachers etc, even though that market is now booming.

If you can think back to anything you tended to enjoy or be interested in, research and find the closest possible commercial outlet related to that thing, and start developing your skills in that direction. Also note that discipline is not a "switch", it is something you build slowly by the messages you constantly tell yourself. When I started working on my projects, I would kind of take a bit of an occasional dabble, maybe averaging a dozen hours a month. It now consumes more than half my free time. The trick is not just motivating yourself with Robins (although he is good at cultivating a sense of hope), but genuinely seeing yourself in a harsh light when you don't take action, and feeling proud when you do.

Number one thing you should do next: download a time-keeping app, and clock-in and clock-out whenever you're working on your own projects. Treat that time as accumulated investment, and check the balance at the end of each month. Once you've got that above 100 hours per month, you can call yourself "on track".

[Ibagemyoutagem]

Thats right all those books are good but In order to find clarity I would suggest you get away from the "noise" . This means people and the massive amount of information that come with them. Just be by yourself , no music or anything. Complete thinking with just your mind running. After it runs and you keep noting the direction its heading and clarifying the thoughts and what they mean , I believe you will find yourself and you can return to all the noise knowing who you are. Just don't ever forget it.

[Nineteen84]

(08-17-2016 08:25 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Number one thing you should do next: download a time-keeping app, and clock-in and clock-out whenever you're working on your own projects. Treat that time as accumulated investment, and check the balance at the end of each month. Once you've got that above 100 hours per month, you can call yourself "on track".

GREAT advice. I've just downloaded a few for iOS and chose 'Worktime'.


The only 'self help' book I've found useful in recent times is The Slight Edge:

Quote:

The Slight Edge isn’t just another personal development book. It’s an entirely new way of thinking; a way of processing information that enables you to make the SIMPLE daily choices that will lead you to the success and happiness you desire. It’s NOT another motivational method you must learn in order to travel the path to success. It shows you how to create powerful results from the daily activities of your life.

The whole audiobook is on soundcloud here.

[Off The Reservation]

(08-17-2016 01:41 AM)RandomGuy1 Wrote:  

Hello guys!

I can't really get to the point where I'm clear about what is my goal in life respectively what is my live vision.

So for many years I've been reading several books about self-improvement, entrepreneurship and all those stuff from the self-help corner of your favorite bookstore.

Here are some examples (only a fraction):



So my number 1 mistake is that I don't really take action. I admit that I'm aware of that, finally. I made all those exercises which they insisted that I should do, but I went not really further than that. Or in other words, I didn't really made progress in life overall.

I wrote down my life vision a couple times, I wrote down my goals in life, personal goals, financial, in terms of relationshipt etc. I wrote down where I'm good at. I made a vision board. You name it, I did it.
I also made excerices where you have to sit down, close your eyes and imagine your ideal life which is called guided imagination. Nothing really helps me in the longterm.

But at the end I have to admit that I'm not really more clear about my purpose in life. So I guess I'm having a buffer overflow from reading all these books. When I reflect, I come to the conclusion that I only jumped from one book to another in the hope that the next book will give me the ultimate answer to my problem. But they don't.

It feels like that I walked into a big trap.

I would do anything to get to point where I'm really experiance intrinsic motivation but I'm completly lost. At the same time I say to myself that this cannot be so hard to find out. What is the meaning that one person has to struggle in such a way that it seems to be a complete waste of time to be on this planet.

Any thoughts or questions?

Change your username. Either you are just a random guy with little value or you aren't.

Your usernane isn't consistent with any goals.

I'm sure one of those books talks about self talk.

Maybe:
WillTravelTheWorld
FutureBusinessOwner
MyIdeasAreGood

You get it im sure.

[Off The Reservation]

Plus, what are these goals of your be specific if you can on this post.

[Northwest]

All great comments and point to the same general idea that it really boils down to just getting started, and also trying different things.

The best advice I've received for when it comes to goals and vision is to break them down into more measurable quantities. For whatever your vision may be, break it down into what a yearly goal, monthly goal, weekly goal, and so on would look like. You probably have goals for say age 30, 40, 50, and so on. As a younger person when you look at your life today, your ideal 50 year old self seems light years away. For me doing the math on these goals and focusing on each day individually has helped me grow a bit of a business.

Perhaps take my advice with a grain of salt because I'm younger, but I've built a business that can generate me about 50-60k/year at 20 hours per week. I plan to continue to grow it and take it to the next level, but this has also freed a lot of time to find other interests and side projects to pursue. As mentioned above, the key is to really just start doing something rather than pondering what you're passionate about and falling into the trap of reading a million books searching for that next idea. Often you'll start out an idea/business/passion/hobby and find out you really don't enjoy it, but in the process your vision will change and evolve, leaving you better off than having not tried anything.

To touch on 4-hour work week; I think this book gets at the right idea. Build a business and work towards freedom, don't be a slave who works for $40k/year and a thankless retirement. Other than that a 4 hour work week really doesn't sound appealing to me, and if you research how Tim Ferriss actually built his business its a little different than what he tells people to do.

I've read tons of these books too, and the real issue is that they don't necessarily change mindset. You'll feel super motivated in the moment watching a Tony Robbins seminar (I like a lot of his stuff too) but it doesn't actually provide any permanent change. Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich is really good about actually working your thought process and outlook on the world. I found it to be more actionable advice and a fairly quick read.

Breaking down goals is probably the biggest key that has helped me in my business and just getting started.

[dispenser]

What these books won't tell you is that your success comes at other's expense.
That's the nature of human economy. Money circulates, which means that some lose it and some gain it.
If you want a slice of the pie, but are too polite or passive to cut in, then you'll go hungry.

My advice is to haggle. Go to a store you rarely visit and haggle for an item you don't intend to buy.
If you can't get a good deal, walk. If you get a good deal, say, "I'll think about it," and walk.
Then repeat in a different store. Never spend a cent, and soak up the experience.

[lazariuskriss]

Here's my take on your problem, i think the real problem is that you have the "shiny" object syndrome. You want to buy everything that's "shiny" (sold often by snake oil salesmen) to solve your problem, to give you the answer, which is not having a clear life purpose. But let me tell you this, first there's no book written on this earth which can do this. The only thing that a book can do is to show you the path, generally speaking the path that the author took and everything they experienced during their journey, but they are they and you are you. You can mimique them, but you have to take the path yourself and experience everything by yourself, nobody will give you the answer. Second, your life purpose change with your age and experience, what you thought was your life purpose during your 20's won't be the same when you'll be in your 30's or 50's for example, because you gain in experience and understand the world better (at least if you're here, you have to). Goals and purposes aren't something static, they're dynamic, like you. To "find" your purpose it's easy, take some action towards realizing each goal you created, you will find or create your life purpose while realizing each goal in each area of your life.

[Chase]

This big vision/mission issue has been one of my unsolved questions for many years. Reading yet another book won’t help. They are variations of things you already know and act as a sneaky way of procrastination and entertainment (living vicariously through someone else, freedom porn…). At some point, we lose our instincts and don’t even know what we enjoy. Be fine with discomfort. Austerity and challenge are your friend.

I second the answer of GlobalMan. Decide on something and then do it for a period of time without second-guessing. Trust in the process. Otherwise, you will take action when you are in an emergency state (running out of money), but once you’re relatively safe again, you will fall back into old habits and self-sabotage.

Also, shake things up. A recent short trip to EE gave me massive motivation to work on my own business, as I could see what is out there for me to take. The map is not the territory.

[General Mayhem]

(08-17-2016 06:24 PM)Northwest Wrote:  

All great comments and point to the same general idea that it really boils down to just getting started, and also trying different things.

The best advice I've received for when it comes to goals and vision is to break them down into more measurable quantities. For whatever your vision may be, break it down into what a yearly goal, monthly goal, weekly goal, and so on would look like. You probably have goals for say age 30, 40, 50, and so on. As a younger person when you look at your life today, your ideal 50 year old self seems light years away. For me doing the math on these goals and focusing on each day individually has helped me grow a bit of a business.

Perhaps take my advice with a grain of salt because I'm younger, but I've built a business that can generate me about 50-60k/year at 20 hours per week. I plan to continue to grow it and take it to the next level, but this has also freed a lot of time to find other interests and side projects to pursue. As mentioned above, the key is to really just start doing something rather than pondering what you're passionate about and falling into the trap of reading a million books searching for that next idea. Often you'll start out an idea/business/passion/hobby and find out you really don't enjoy it, but in the process your vision will change and evolve, leaving you better off than having not tried anything.

To touch on 4-hour work week; I think this book gets at the right idea. Build a business and work towards freedom, don't be a slave who works for $40k/year and a thankless retirement. Other than that a 4 hour work week really doesn't sound appealing to me, and if you research how Tim Ferriss actually built his business its a little different than what he tells people to do.

I've read tons of these books too, and the real issue is that they don't necessarily change mindset. You'll feel super motivated in the moment watching a Tony Robbins seminar (I like a lot of his stuff too) but it doesn't actually provide any permanent change. Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich is really good about actually working your thought process and outlook on the world. I found it to be more actionable advice and a fairly quick read.

Breaking down goals is probably the biggest key that has helped me in my business and just getting started.

See the bolded text. Very important stuff being said here.

You will absolutely find yourself through work.

There is no better way to find out what you love, what you absolutely hate, and what you can tolerate.

It's fun and feels good to write down long term goals, visions of the future, etc. and I think if you are supremely motivated and/or motivated this can be helpful. If you aren't though I don't think it works.

I think most people would be better to start off taking a near sighted approach. Pick something you want and go after it day by day or week by week. At the end of each day evaluate your progress. Don't even look into the future beyond that. Don't even give yourself time to ponder and naval gaze.

The best men learn how to mix the two, but most get so focused on the vision aspect of it that they never develop the latter skill. You need to know when to be calculated in your actions and when to pursue something in a blinding rage with the mental equivalent of retard strength.

Seriously OP. There is probably somebody who started a project on the same day that you did who just started shooting from the fucking hip and never gave two shits about a vision and now he is miles ahead of you.

There are some men who blaze ahead fast and end up confused because they don't have a vision but that's a different discussion. Just pick a direction and go.

Edit: Also, if you only read one book ever again read Gorilla Mindset. When you read it the first time you will agree with it. You need to go over it until you really get it. The aha moment after the aha moment. There's a difference.

[Max Henrich]

@OP: What kind of stuff do you like to do? As in, really much?

[Easy_C]

I actually think a broader purpose is the place to start. For example, my purpose is to be a protector. This doesn't mean I have to be a freaking knight. A lawyer protects his defendants, a financial advisor protects his clients from the market, a teacher protects his students from the world via training, and so on.

Be creative.

[Tackle Box]

I feel for you, man. A few years ago I was caught in the same spell as you. But I have no doubt you'll get past this as I did.

One of the problems with the whole "self-help" genre is that it brainwashes you into thinking that everyone else is living the dream, meanwhile there is something "wrong" with you. This couldn't be further from the truth as there are scores of people miserable but put on a facade acting as if everything is fine and dandy.

The "self-help" world very predacious and it keeps their customers locked in these awful thought patterns where they purchase more books on the subject thinking that it will fill a void in their life. Thinking that they will unlock the "secret" at the turn of a page, and all the inaction they've taken thus far will lead to a life of action and fulfillment overnight.

Just by your original post I can tell that you you are definitely on the right track as you are taking stock of your life and evaluating the merit of these kinds of books. IMO the vast majority are useless drivel lining the pockets of snake oil salesmen.

There's a lot of great advice so far. I'll figure that I can only add to that with just one word: EXECUTE. That's all it takes. It seems like you've spend more than enough time navel-gazing, now is the time to execute on your vision, your goals, and your dreams for this world. As they say, life is too short. Even if you start off taking baby steps, you're moving towards something, nonetheless.

Good luck and godspeed.

[RandomGuy1]

First of all let me thanking you for all these really wonderful replies. Very very great answers here and lots of wisdom to be taken from.



Some guys asked me what my goals are actually. I've to admit that I'm not aware of them - this may sound odd because I wrote in my initial post that I created lists of my personal/financial/.. goals BUT when I now look at them, it seems that a different person has written the lists.

This shows me how I'm beating about the bush with myself

Now I have to dig deep into myself and really try to seek and locate which kind of things fuel my inner motivation which some of you suggested. I really think I must accomplish this primarily to keep moving forward.

Of course I will and must start doing something I won't forget that!

[Off The Reservation]

(08-24-2016 04:39 PM)RandomGuy1 Wrote:  

First of all let me thanking you for all these really wonderful replies. Very very great answers here and lots of wisdom to be taken from.



Some guys asked me what my goals are actually. I've to admit that I'm not aware of them - this may sound odd because I wrote in my initial post that I created lists of my personal/financial/.. goals BUT when I now look at them, it seems that a different person has written the lists.

This shows me how I'm beating about the bush with myself

Now I have to dig deep into myself and really try to seek and locate which kind of things fuel my inner motivation which some of you suggested. I really think I must accomplish this primarily to keep moving forward.

Of course I will and must start doing something I won't forget that!

[Lux Interior]

Strive to be better at everything you do and new paths will constantly reveal themselves.
Things that once seemed beyond reach will become normal.
Patience is important!
Be in an environment where working hard can yield clear results, this can be very energising.
I am by no means where I want to be but I'm a lot closer than I was this time last year.