[Schlep]

Greetings fellow travelers

I'd like to hear your thoughts on how you guys deal with returning home from your vacations. Now, I realize that none of us really want to return home and we would all love to stay in possy paradise forever.

I took my first trip abroad last Nov to the phils for three weeks. Stepping outside the airport in Philadelphia I was overcome with a depression that I have never experienced before. I have never dealt with depression. But, it feels like I'm a ghost walking around and my soul stayed in Cebu. I've returned to Cebu since then and now have a trip planned for next month to Kiev.

Don't get me wrong, I have been very productive since my first trip abroad. Spent the last eight months working on becoming location independent. ( thank you RVF members ). I'll be leaving at the end of Nov. To start my new life as an expat.

I'm very active on the travel section of the forum. Always enjoy your trip reports, advice and mostly the hours of laughter. But, I secretly always wondered how you guys deal with returning home.

My adventures haven't always been positive while traveling just like you guys and your experiences. Highs, lows, drama, you name it. Staggering back to my apartment at 3am with a hot girl. Only to turn the lights on and be horrified that it's a lady boy, losing my credit card in Manila. Almost getting into a fist fight with a taxi driver. Seeing poverty at it's worst. Looking down at that little girl in Ayala, sleeping on the sidewalk. She looked like she hadn't bathed in a year. Dirty clothing in tatters. Quietly slipping acouple hundred pesos in her hand while she slept. Leaving her with a tear in my eye. Wishing I could hold her in my arms and carry her to safety.

But, also great experiences too like hanging out with a model on Mactan island for three days or swimming with the whale sharks in Oslab. Learning about new cultures, languages and sampling different foods. Having a beautiful woman crying at the airport begging you not to leave. Telling her you'll return but, knowing full well I never will. Hanging out with another RVF member.

I feel like when I'm traveling around the world my senses are on high alert. Never knowing when danger is around the next corner. Living life to the fullest. I have never felt more alive then when I'm free. Not feeling like a caged animal waiting for my master to throw me some table scraps for being a good boy. Or being tied up out back by my leash waiting for a treat.

Just wanted to get your thoughts on this subject.

Cheers

[Alb92]

I understand you perfectly well. It's an awful feeling, like you're inside a cage and can't move. For me personally, the worst thing is to see the large amounts of whales, feminists and freaks walking around. That's what really makes me wanna go to another place to explore its beauties.

[Phoenix]

We had a thread on this a while back, something about trying to name that feeling of "I'm returning back to a western country from a nice non-western country and I want to hang myself a little bit". If you can find that, it could have some useful responses for you.

Depression is a signal. I passionately disagree with anybody who chooses first to call it medical, or just a meaningless personal aberration that needs to be fixed with hitting the gym or getting enough sunlight. Always assume first and foremost it's a visceral body/mind signal that you're doing something wrong. This is coming from someone who's had all the personal experience involved, being completely crippled to the point where he literally couldn't function.

Just accept what the depression is telling you: leaving doting attractive women and going back to haughty fatties or uggos is the wrong thing to do. You just have to look at the depression, say "yes I understand this", and then respond accordingly. You've said you're already planning a trip to Ukraine, so just focus on that. As long as you have the anticipation of that trip in your mind, and you focus on it, you'll be OK.

[HOD]

I had a little reminder what western girls are like,

I was walking across the street somewhere in Hong Kong, and some fat old anglosphere chick dropped her paperwork, and she got mad that I walked pass her and didn't even help her, she mad a snide remark. Just a reminder, as to how easy western girls get mad. She eventually picked up her two sheets of paper, and continue to walk.

Like she needed me to help her and expected me to pick up two sheets of paper, it wasn't like it was windy or there was a truck coming.
Come on lady, nobody, ever helps a man, pickup stuff off the ground.

OMG

[PragueDude]

Shit dude, what about actually living in a Central Euro country 3+ years, then moving back? Anyone have this?

[Brodiaga]

I used to get depressed after coming back from vacations, especially in winter. For me, best way to deal with a post-vacation depression is to keep busy and work on achieving my goals. Going to the gym, eating healthy and not drinking too much also helps.

[Easy_C]

(08-13-2016 07:15 AM)Schlep Wrote:  

I feel like when I'm traveling around the world my senses are on high alert. Never knowing when danger is around the next corner. Living life to the fullest. I have never felt more alive then when I'm free. Not feeling like a caged animal waiting for my master to throw me some table scraps for being a good boy. Or being tied up out back by my leash waiting for a treat.

Just wanted to get your thoughts on this subject.

Cheers

My advice?

Find a way to live in some of those countries for a longer period of time. Trust me....living abroad is very different from visiting abroad. It will enable you to be a bit more objective.


That said your previous advice was good. If you feel that way then you also should ACT accordingly.

[beta_plus]

It's a real thing. I had the same experience 4 years ago.

thread-12904.html

Been working on getting out of DC since then. Hopefully that will be soon.

[Schlep]

Thanks for the advice guys.

@ Praguedude
When I leave I'll never be returning. I have nothing left in my heart for my home country.

Also, one more thing I would like to share with you guys. I do not go on dates anymore with American woman. Haven't been on a date with one in over two years. At this point in my life I'd rather sit in traffic for two hours then go on a date with an American women. It's not that I can't get a date. Like I mentioned before. I have nothing left in me anymore for that nonsense.

Do you guys think this is healthy? I feel as if I can focus my efforts into more important projects. Working on my inner self and the red pill lifestyle. Reading, exercising, and becoming a more refined gentlemen. But, at the same time less alpha. If that makes any sense.

[Strelka]

The best way to combat post trip depression is just to keep booking them one after another - keep something to look forward to in front of you.

[iknowexactly]

(08-13-2016 02:24 PM)Schlep Wrote:  

Also, one more thing I would like to share with you guys. I do not go on dates anymore with American woman....

Do you guys think this is healthy? I feel as if I can focus my efforts ...Reading, exercising,

Myself and other long term expats I've talked to feel the same--"no more attempts at intimacy with malignant feminists!" (those who vilify men.).

Escaping malignant feminism is the psychological equivalent of leaving a country with a widespread communicable disease that will hurt you. It's not alpha to go back and seek out contact with the natives, just stupid and desperate.

I go back to USA only for biz purposes, i respect that it's an organized place to make money or use tech resources, and feel compassion for the largely childless whales and strident bitches who also suffer from the alienation of feminism. It hurts almost everyone in the long run.

Feeling anger is its own kind of poison, and it's better to see the system poisoning male-female relations as the villain, rather than being outraged at the individual affected women.

Be a patient, big picture guy when weathering a posting in a sexual desert. Sun Tzu defined rules for managing conflict, attack is rarely the default optimal choice.

[Schlep]

^ Thank you man. I feel a little better now realizing I'm not the only one who feels this way. My friends who do not travel can't understand this. They look at me as an outcast. That there must be something wrong with my way of thinking.

[jimukr104]

Are you American? I ask because you ended with Cheers"...we don't do that (to us Cheers is a tv show with Ted Danson)

[Schlep]

^ I loved that sitcom growing up. Mayday Malone was one of my role models growing up. And yeah, I'm an American.

[sportbilly]

I can totally relate to this...I akwats find it a triple whammy when returning from a vacation.

1. I have usually been in FSU places where the quality of the women is as good as it gets.

2. I have been off work.

3. I feel like I am living rather than existing in a rat race bubble...to some degree my choice...but all the same.

I try to overcome the down feelings by remembering that the next adventure is around the corner and if you did it everyday then the buzz would nit be as good.

Living in the UK is particularly tough...as the drop in female quality (in my city...ie not London)....is so huge from an FSU country.

[Schlep]

^ Good point sportbilly
Do you ever think living in FSU would get old?

[Schlep]

My apologies to beta_plus . I didn't realize you had already created a thread on this matter. You have my permission to delete my thread if need be.

[BrewDog]

I understand it. Vacation is awesome, and coming back to the USA sucks fucking asshole. You've been on this awesome journey, and now you have to sit in customs secondary for four hours, because a single male that's coming in from Colombia must surely be a drug mule. That's the way your country welcomes you back. And I'm a pretty clean-cut guy.

And then you have to go back to work and pay bills and do other shitty shit after having 6 months of drinking beer and getting laid and seeing incredible mountains and valleys and cool shit.

Unless your dad is an earl or duke or something, I don't know how you get around it. Most of us have to earn money and do unpleasing stuff to get our vacations. Just try to think ahead to your next vacation and power through it.

[superschalk]

I think coming back from vacation should not give you depression it should rather give you motivation to find ways to leave the corporate world and make your own location independent income. I made great money working in sales in London for years but I always made my vacation short enough to not fall into this depression you mention. I never went on vacation longer than three weeks.

When coming back I did not drink or went out for at least another 3 to 4 weeks and only spent time working out in the gym and working on my own business. Also I always booked my next short 3 or 4 day trip to Poland, Russia, Baltics or Ukraine within another 4 weeks time so I had already the next trip to look forward to.

Now being out of the corporate world when I go home to my home country for Christmas I am looking forward to see my friends and family. And I am also looking forward to see some blond, cute fit beach girls. Although they not easy to game you can still get them.

My home base (don't like this word as I am not a supporter of the location independent industry) in the Balkans is also a great place to go home. Girls are not as great as in Ukraine or Russia but still more than okay and I can spend time to get my body back in shape and grow my business while still having fun and maybe get lucky with a nice girl.

So no depression at all when going "home".

(08-13-2016 08:00 PM)Schlep Wrote:  

^ Good point sportbilly
Do you ever think living in FSU would get old?

Honestly I cannot stay more than three months in Ukraine. It drains me out. Usually it goes like this:

Month 1: Honeymoon phase. This is where you go on a lot of dates with mostly 7s, enjoy the hot girls walking on the street. Party a lot and have fun. This is also the month where you productivity would be almost 0.

Month 2: Meeting and banging 7s gets normal and new dates are getting boring because it is always the same. You are getting used how hot girls are so these hot girls on the street on in nightclubs are not that special anymore. In the ideal scenario you would have clicked with a girl from month 1 and have her as some kind of girlfriend. This is also the month where you are not happy anymore being with the 7s kind of girls and start to look to upgrade.

Month 3: Girls are not that important anymore and you look more to get back in shape and work more on your business. This is usually where I try to discover new cities and enjoy my life without inner pressure of meeting new girls. Interesting enough in month three I am always meeting the most interesting and best looking girls because I don't put myself under any kind of pressure and just have a I don't give a fuck attitude.

Last year I clicked with a girl in month three so I went back after one week in London but usually when these three months are over I take a one week break to a city in the west like London, Vienna or Madrid where I have friends and can just enjoy a nice break. Then I go back to the Balkans. Although its FSU too the mentality and feeling is more different. There I can recharge my batteries and fully focus on my business while going out maybe once or twice a week.

I personally need to leave the FSU mid December because I can't stay the winter. Kiev for example after orthodox Christmas is not a good place for me. It is just way too cold and way too dark. People are also unfriendlier than usual. Having said that I have friends who love this part of the year because nightlife is not bad at all then because people all staying inside.

Sorry I got a bit off topic here but my answer is yes living in the FSU gets old but hey I know myself I love FSU so much that I will always come back after a break.

[lavidaloca]

I've suffered from the same feeling. My response is to continue on the path I'm on which is saving and investing a large amount yearly in hopes of being able to go location independent with enough income that I don't ever have to work but I can choose to work and create something without the stress of whether it works or doesn't work.

[Schlep]

@ superschalk

Dude, you didn't get off topic. That was some serious gold you just dropped on this thread. I have never stayed longer then three weeks abroad. Very interesting. Thank you...

I think it's comical what you wrote about the 7's getting old after awhile. A 7 there is like an 8.5 here. But, I'm sure your 100% accurate. I just hope that I have some success on my three week trip. Checked out Ukrainian cupid and was impressed with the talent I was looking at. Can't imagine the talent out on the streets.

[Schlep]

@ Lavidaloca

Have you thought about rental properties? Thats what I'm doing now. If you happen to get a chance check out my thread.

[sportbilly]

leaving Odessa today after 14 days in Batumi and Odessa....thought about this thread.

First thing to plan on my return is my New Year vacation......fancy trying out Siberia..bring it on!

[Brother Abdul Majeed]

I empathize with people who feel the blahs when coming home. Once I started reading ROK I started noticing things that would normally have slipped my attention in the past.

I just came back to Canada from Panama and had a three hour stop over in Miami where I spent an hour in a bar in the airport being served beer by two chunky unattractive girls, one of whom was wearing green lipstick. It was impossible not to notice the graceless hefalumps lumbering around the airport with their cowed male sidekicks grovelling after them. In Panama some of the local girls do tend towards a bit of chubbiness, but it's not that unnatural chunkiness with odd lumps sticking out of their bodies and they don't waddle around like North American women. I developed a theory that the recent epidemic of forest fires is caused by the friction of denim between women's thighs rubbing together.

Toronto airport was worse and my heart was in my shoes as I slipped back into my Canadian skin. Things are looking up for me though, as I did buy a place when I was down there and will return to live in Panama this winter, so I've only got a bit of tidying up to do here and tying up my loose ends.

I will do a little report of my observations on an existing thread once I've parsed the information into bite sized chunks. It's not really much to do with women, as I'm a bit older than most ROK readers (I assume) - although I did bang a fairly ugly German backpacker one drunken evening, a most regrettable experience and one that I was sorry about before the deed had even been completed. It really has more to do with the freedoms in lifestyle, investment, opportunity, and it may be something younger men with an eye on leaving your current western prisons might be interested in.

[Yeti]

(08-28-2016 08:05 AM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  

It's not really much to do with women, as I'm a bit older than most ROK readers (I assume)

Age is just a number, mate. Keep fit, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and sleep a lot and you'll be fine, with plenty of opportunity of banging girls much younger than yourself, especially in Panama.