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Healthier to see others as good/friends or to try to gain haters?
07-20-2016, 04:46 AM
I guess personality makes this subjective. Some people prefer hate whilst others don't, I don't think there's science behind it.
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Healthier to see others as good/friends or to try to gain haters?
07-20-2016, 11:30 AM
It's not contradictory
Initially treating people as equals whilst improving yourself will reveal the haters. Then when the haters have revealed themselves you can cut them off
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Healthier to see others as good/friends or to try to gain haters?
07-21-2016, 01:57 AM
Neither. Treat people as a blank slate until they give you some indication...which will usually happen within the first few minutes of meeting them if you know what to look for.
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Healthier to see others as good/friends or to try to gain haters?
07-21-2016, 02:58 AM
The thing with the "blank slate" approach is you miss out on the fact that you can influence people to behave well by expecting them to.
Positive expectation works really well when combined with high value/high status.
This is especially true for girls, relationships, cold approach. The thorniest bitch can become the the sweetest kitten if you fully expect her to be sweet to you. People do their best to live up to the expectations of someone they perceive as high-status.
I think ultimately it's a mix. You have a degree of positive expectation for people, that encourages them to be on their best behavior around you. But some people are assholes. So you quickly revoke privileges in light of a person violating your core standards. Conditional approval.
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Healthier to see others as good/friends or to try to gain haters?
07-22-2016, 03:52 AM
Quote: (07-21-2016 02:58 AM)RichieP Wrote:
The thing with the "blank slate" approach is you miss out on the fact that you can influence people to behave well by expecting them to.
Positive expectation works really well when combined with high value/high status.
This is especially true for girls, relationships, cold approach. The thorniest bitch can become the the sweetest kitten if you fully expect her to be sweet to you. People do their best to live up to the expectations of someone they perceive as high-status.
I think ultimately it's a mix. You have a degree of positive expectation for people, that encourages them to be on their best behavior around you. But some people are assholes. So you quickly revoke privileges in light of a person violating your core standards. Conditional approval.
Totally agree.
Your first response will be to treat them well. Only if they don't act like that you cancel them from your life.
Don't look for hater. There is just no point in inserting negativity into your life. They will come on their own.
"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi