[future]

I made a seriously stupid mistake related to immigration recently. Now I am stuck in India and at a risk of losing my job. This has been the most stressed three weeks of my life in the last decade or so.

Background:

I was born in India and am a citizen of India. I have been living in Canada since 2009.

Career-wise I have done pretty decent in life. Recently I finished a PhD from a top Canadian university and landed a high-paying job in Canada in the finance sector.

Girls-wise I have done pretty horribly all my life. I have been reading up on game for a few years but seriously started approaching only in October 2015. If you follow The Approach Thread, you might have seen some of my posts there. I was making decent progress with daygaming and was getting numbers and dates regularly.

A month ago I came to India to visit family on a vacation. What I didn't realize was that my Canadian visa had expired. Working in Canada requires me to hold a valid work permit, which I have. But it turns out, that once you leave the country (even for a vacation), you need a valid entry visa to come back. My entry visa had expired last year.

As a result, I wasn't able to fly back to Canada and resume my job. I had to apply for a new entry visa in India. As government processes go, this is no different and is taking ages to process. It's already been 3 weeks since I applied and I haven't heard back from them.

Meanwhile my boss has been cool with it and has let me work remotely, but I'm not sure how long that's going to last.

I'm just afraid that I will lose my job and will have to stay in India for a long time. And that will be horrible because:
a) I can't make the kind of money in India that I can working at a financial hub such as New York/London/Toronto.
b) Gaming in India is close to impossible. Perhaps if you are already good at game you can pull some girls at a nighclub here, I don't know. But it's a horrible country to be in when you are still learning. Daygaming is impossible because most girls walking on the street are ugly, so if you want to do 10 approaches you will have to walk for 4-5 hours to find 10 girls worth approaching. Also, the culture is not very progressive, which means talking to girls randomly on the streets is looked down upon and will be considered as harassment. The only thing you can do is social circles game, but that takes time to set up and doesn't provide a conducive environment for learning, because if you fuck up, you will be officially the creep of the circle, as opposed to cold approaching where coming off as creepy is no issue whatsoever since you are probably never going to meet the girl again anyway.


Even if my job remains safely in my hands, there are some more immediate practical concerns. For example, I rent an expensive apartment in Toronto, which I have paid the rent for until June end. If this thing doesn't get resolved by then I will have all my stuff in the apartment which my landlord can legally just throw away.

In short, I am freaking out because:
1) I don't want to lose my job.
2) I don't want to lose my progress so far and also the chances of future progress with game.
3) I dont want to lose all my stuff that's lying in my apartment in Toronto currently.
4) I keep feeling like an absolute retard for messing things up like this. I have a PhD. How can I forget about a stupid visa!?

I have been having breakdowns every day. Every morning I check my visa status and fall into a depression spiral when I see no updates. Earning money, getting in shape, and getting good with women have been three of my most important goals for the last year or so. India is not very conducive for making progress in any of them.

I will really appreciate if anyone has advice on:
a) how to do damage control after this mistake, and
b) how to maintain mental peace in this situation.

[Phoenix]

1) Do your very best to keep that job, by keeping your work quality and the ease of dealing with you remotely very high. If necessary, move your sleep schedule to keep things convenient for your boss. As long as he feels you're worth more than you cost he'll stay happy.
2) It's India. Work out who you need to bribe to grease the wheels. Don't sit there waiting or nothing will happen. Find out what's the typical currency (nice liquor or other gifts), find the right guy or guys to give it to with a smile on your face and words of praise.
3) After you've done that, accept the rest is up to fate. Meditation can help with this.

[muscless]

When one door closes, a new one will open up!

80-90% of things that we worry about in life doesn't happen! I would suggest you create a backup plan to help decrease your worrying.

Toronto is a Feminist hellhole, you should be lucky to lose your job!

Practice 'Day Game' at a shopping centre I find is best or public transport.

[Buakaw]

(05-02-2016 04:07 AM)future Wrote:  

For example, I rent an expensive apartment in Toronto, which I have paid the rent for until June end. If this thing doesn't get resolved by then I will have all my stuff in the apartment which my landlord can legally just throw away.

Can't you just continue to pay the rent until this is resolved?
If your visa gets rejected then you can deal with the consequences. Maybe there is a moving company that can pack and ship your stuff back? If that's too expensive maybe a friend can come over and collect the valuable stuff and the rest can be thrown away.

Like some others pointed out, don't worry too much about this. Make a plan and deal with things when they happen.

[RichieP]

Phoenix' advice is very very good.

Stay focused on a) keeping your boss as happy as possible by OVER-delivering and making things EASIER for him. Be extremely responsive with replies and consistent with updates, go out of your way to make him super satisfied. Hiring processes are an expensive time and money suck, once they've got you they want to get their return on investment, so just don't give them any hassle or reason to let you go.

And also focus on rustling the visa up ASAP. Places like that, there are usually agents with connections who can get things done quickly. e.g. agents who offer "super express" services for such things because their brother works in... etc. There must be a similar route in India for locals. Find someone who knows someone.

[Tigre]

Just keep focused on what you can control.

Is there some practical reason why it's hard to do physical training in India? Even if you have to change up your routine, just do bodyweight exercises. You said it was one of your goals, and I see no reason why you can't maintain your progress on that front. Moreover, it will give you peace of mind while you wait for the return to normality.

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on pulling strings at the Canadian consulate in India. For all you know, the application at this stage is actually processed in Canada. But you should at least find out the normal wait times.

Some of this anxiety is caused by you not having the relevant information (like how long is the wait time for your visa application).

Mainly you should manage your own expectations about what's possible.

[future]

Thanks for all the advice.

I'm trying my best to focus on work, but it's hard because of all the stress.

Perhaps I should spend more time meditating.

(05-02-2016 04:26 AM)muscless Wrote:  

Practice 'Day Game' at a shopping centre I find is best or public transport.

Do you live in India?

(05-02-2016 04:56 AM)Buakaw Wrote:  

Can't you just continue to pay the rent until this is resolved?

I can if I keep my job. I don't have any savings yet so can't sustain it for too long.

[future]

(05-02-2016 12:07 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just keep focused on what you can control.

Is there some practical reason why it's hard to do physical training in India? Even if you have to change up your routine, just do bodyweight exercises. You said it was one of your goals, and I see no reason why you can't maintain your progress on that front. Moreover, it will give you peace of mind while you wait for the return to normality.

That's a very good point. My main tool for dealing with anxiety has been my gym membership.

The closest gym here is shitty. No barbells. No squat racks. One smith machine.

Bodyweight exercises might be the solution to this.

Quote:

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on pulling strings at the Canadian consulate in India. For all you know, the application at this stage is actually processed in Canada. But you should at least find out the normal wait times.

There seems to be a huge variance. They provide an official estimate on their website which was 14 days when I'd applied, then it increased to 16, then to 17, and is 19 now. Today is the 20th day since I applied.

At the same time I have friends who'd applied for similar things and they got their visa in less than 10 days when the official time was 16.

Quote:

Some of this anxiety is caused by you not having the relevant information (like how long is the wait time for your visa application).

Mainly you should manage your own expectations about what's possible.

Yes that's also great advice. Basically when I'd applied I was expecting to get it within a week. Then I kept increasing my expectation by one day everyday. I go to sleep hoping to get it the next day.

[kaotic]

Gaming should be the least of your worries right now.

Plan A should be like Phoenix said: Do whatever you need to do to keep your job and bribe whoever you need to bribe to move your visa faster.

Plan B should be looking for another job that you can do remotely or locally which pays a decent wage.

Plan C would be looking at other options in other countries for Visas/entry/jobs

Still stay active and lift, sure game when you can, but stay on top of things.

[el mechanico]

I thought this thread was going to be about working on your own car.

[jj90]

(05-02-2016 04:07 AM)future Wrote:  

Recently I finished a PhD from a top Canadian university and landed a high-paying job in Canada in the finance sector.

I wouldn't worry that much specifically about your job based on that very statement you made here. Chances are your job position is very sticky and having them find a replacement is going to cost them time and money instead of keeping yourself around. I would only start to worry if your employer doesn't seem to be very engaged in the visa application process, that means they have options on the table for your positions.

[tanner]

The visa should come through if you have a phd from a Canadian University and a specialized secure job.

[roberto]

(05-02-2016 12:41 PM)future Wrote:  

(05-02-2016 12:07 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just keep focused on what you can control.

Is there some practical reason why it's hard to do physical training in India? Even if you have to change up your routine, just do bodyweight exercises. You said it was one of your goals, and I see no reason why you can't maintain your progress on that front. Moreover, it will give you peace of mind while you wait for the return to normality.

That's a very good point. My main tool for dealing with anxiety has been my gym membership.

The closest gym here is shitty. No barbells. No squat racks. One smith machine.

Bodyweight exercises might be the solution to this.

Quote:

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on pulling strings at the Canadian consulate in India. For all you know, the application at this stage is actually processed in Canada. But you should at least find out the normal wait times.

There seems to be a huge variance. They provide an official estimate on their website which was 14 days when I'd applied, then it increased to 16, then to 17, and is 19 now. Today is the 20th day since I applied.

At the same time I have friends who'd applied for similar things and they got their visa in less than 10 days when the official time was 16.

Quote:

Some of this anxiety is caused by you not having the relevant information (like how long is the wait time for your visa application).

Mainly you should manage your own expectations about what's possible.

Yes that's also great advice. Basically when I'd applied I was expecting to get it within a week. Then I kept increasing my expectation by one day everyday. I go to sleep hoping to get it the next day.

Sounds to me like they've got a backlog to clear. Stay chilled and keep your boss happy, don't project any of your fears onto him during any conversations.

[Kona]

Prioritize your problems.

How bad are these breakdowns. Are you just going bat shit crazy India style? Are they panic attacks?

See a doctor to get that under control if its bad.

I'd hate to see the Delhi PD hauling you to some mental hospital there. Look at this one:


That does not look like a friendly place.

Aloha!

[future]

So I managed to get back to Canada finally without losing my job or vacation days. I did basically what most people here suggested: Worked hard while I was away. I was actually quite surprised by how supportive my boss was throughout.

The visa process is a pain though. Took more than a month for them to process a simple application. Syrian refugees get their visas faster probably.

Anyway, things are back to normal now. Thanks to all forum members for the advice and for making supportive comments in general. Let me know if you're ever in Toronto. I'd love to take you out for a beer.

[ed pluribus unum]

(06-04-2016 05:44 PM)future Wrote:  

So I managed to get back to Canada finally without losing my job or vacation days. I did basically what most people here suggested: Worked hard while I was away. I was actually quite surprised by how supportive my boss was throughout.

The visa process is a pain though. Took more than a month for them to process a simple application. Syrian refugees get their visas faster probably.

Anyway, things are back to normal now. Thanks to all forum members for the advice and for making supportive comments in general. Let me know if you're ever in Toronto. I'd love to take you out for a beer.

Good for you. PM inbound.

[Vaun]

Can you look into hiring an immigration lawyer? There have to be more than a few dealing with similar issues in India.

Edit - posted without reading OP's update. Congrats OP!

[RichieP]

Fantastic mate, well done.

[Chauncey]

If you lose your job and get stuck in India:

1. Learn how to make money online, you could probably make a killing selling Indian dick pills and modafinil to Americans and Aussies.

2. Move to the Andaman Islands.

3. Learn to surf.

4. Bang tourists.

5. Write some data sheets.

[future]

(06-04-2016 06:21 PM)Chauncey Wrote:  

If you lose your job and get stuck in India:

1. Learn how to make money online, you could probably make a killing selling Indian dick pills and modafinil to Americans and Aussies.

2. Move to the Andaman Islands.

3. Learn to surf.

4. Bang tourists.

5. Write some data sheets.

Great idea! I'll keep this in mind if I ever decide to move back. For now I'm back in Canada. See my post above!

Hmm selling modafinil to silicon valley CEO's is actually a really good idea. Maybe I can leverage my Indian contacts somehow. I'm going to look into it.

[BlackHat]

^

Great way to get DEA on your ass, selling a controlled drug without prescription is a felony in most of the states.