[Hazaer]

Hi All,

Am new to game here. After reading through RVF and Bang, I decided to first try being more jovial and fun to be with. I have also started introducing myself to more girls as a starting point. I am in a college environment so there is no shortage of DTF girls. Although, it's true that my more light hearted nature does bring more laughter to lads and lasses alike, for the purpose of game, I feel that it has not resulted in any increased attraction from girls.

I see guys who don't speak as much or as humorous getting much further with the girls. Somehow, girls just remember the other guys who didn't seem to make as loud or high energy interaction as I do. Girls do laugh at some comments I make but after that, they switch back to their phones or to their friends. I do get the feeling that they seem very indifferent to me for things like hanging out even as a group. Don't think it has got to do with anything about my physical appearance as I do get eye balled in public. It's something else that I might be missing or maybe I am trying too hard but in that case where does one draw the line? Esp in the initial interaction.

In my mind, I am starting to think that girls actually get a gut feeling about a guy and sometimes game just cant change that but I might be wrong as I am pretty new to this.

Given this situation, I am not sure if I should proceed with night game when I can't seem to handle the college situation.

What do you guys suggest as a future course of action?

This is not intended as a rant but rather a case study for the new guys thinking of going this route.

Thank you all.

[Grizzles]

Hey dude, first off props to you for taking action and experimenting with your game- already you're better then 80% of guys out there, just take a moment to realize that.

In-regards to your point, take the time to watch this video as I'm sure it will clear things up for you- it explains how being funny *may* actually be more of a hindrance then a help when talking to chicks.

And yeah I get RSD has its flaws too, but this video articulates my thoughts on the matter in a much better way then I could explain, hopefully you will get some value out of it.

[Hazaer]

(02-27-2016 06:18 PM)Grizzles Wrote:  

Hey dude, first off props to you for taking action and experimenting with your game- already you're better then 80% of guys out there, just take a moment to realize that.

In-regards to your point, take the time to watch this video as I'm sure it will clear things up for you- it explains how being funny *may* actually be more of a hindrance then a help when talking to chicks.

And yeah I get RSD has its flaws too, but this video articulates my thoughts on the matter in a much better way then I could explain, hopefully you will get some value out of it.

Trying too hard might be the reason as highlighted by the video. But if humour is taken out of an initial interaction, building rapport can then be a tad more difficult. I went through Roosh's Bang and he does propose talking about things like making witty comments about the people around or the environment to get increase the girl's comfort level with a guy.

These are definitely forced attempts to embed humour and lengthening the conversation up to a certain level before she is supposed to take over more with the talking. If such attempts at breaking the ice come across as try hard, how do you suggest that one can handle initial interactions?

[Guriko]

(02-27-2016 10:04 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Hi All,

Am new to game here. After reading through RVF and Bang, I decided to first try being more jovial and fun to be with. I have also started introducing myself to more girls as a starting point. I am in a college environment so there is no shortage of DTF girls. Although, it's true that my more light hearted nature does bring more laughter to lads and lasses alike, for the purpose of game, I feel that it has not resulted in any increased attraction from girls.

I see guys who don't speak as much or as humorous getting much further with the girls. Somehow, girls just remember the other guys who didn't seem to make as loud or high energy interaction as I do. Girls do laugh at some comments I make but after that, they switch back to their phones or to their friends. I do get the feeling that they seem very indifferent to me for things like hanging out even as a group. Don't think it has got to do with anything about my physical appearance as I do get eye balled in public. It's something else that I might be missing or maybe I am trying too hard but in that case where does one draw the line? Esp in the initial interaction.

In my mind, I am starting to think that girls actually get a gut feeling about a guy and sometimes game just cant change that but I might be wrong as I am pretty new to this.

Given this situation, I am not sure if I should proceed with night game when I can't seem to handle the college situation.

What do you guys suggest as a future course of action?

This is not intended as a rant but rather a case study for the new guys thinking of going this route.

Thank you all.

I am also new to game so please do take my writings with a healthy dose of salt. My writing comes from my own experience with women.

First of all congratulations to having the balls on even trying to practicing game! Few men do this as it takes courage and mental strength to deal with rejections. You are new, you are a rough gem and through countless failures you will polish yourself into a fine diamond! Please do keep at it!

When it comes to humor I've come to the conclusion that it certainly helps but I still wrestle with myself on when to stop. Sometimes too much can be a bad thing.

I've read somewhere that our words carry weight and if we speak too much, say too much too quickly our words become like feathers. Unnoticed.

That is why I've started to restrain myself. I use humor, if applicable, to break the ice and then only sparingly in comments (maybe I tease her, maybe I tease her friend, somebody in the vicinity et cetera) when I believe the timing to be right.

That is a bitch though, I must confess. Even the greatest comedians agree that timing is one of the cornerstones of their art. But I keep trying and have gotten better.

I will agree with you that a woman sizes up a potential partner in 3 seconds. This is how long I believe it takes for a woman to decide if she will give a man a chance or the cold shoulder. Then comes the Game part. One has to figure her out in the limited time one has available. Hard, from personal experience I know, but nonetheless fun. And isn't this what Game is all about?

In conclusion - humor, yes, but sparingly and only when you deem the timing to be right. Let your words carry weight and you shall be remembered. On topic - think about Donald Trump. He does not say a lot, his timing in masterful, the choice of his words succinct, razor sharp and what he says is not convoluted - but people remember his words and more importantly - him.

From a newbie to another newbie - I hope it helps.

[kaotic]

I'm going to give you another point of view - this is coming from a cocky/asshole/arrogant/truthful/sarcastic type of game.

Humor is awesome - it doesn't need to be used sparingly BUT it doesn't need to be a hard sell.

The vibe I give off NATURALLY is easy going, friendly, and funny.

When I've been drinking I get alot more honest/blunt/truthful BUT I present it jokingly and sarcastically.

I used to be a serious asshole, girls would even tell my friends why was I being such a dick. So I changed.

A women can sense if someone is being fake fast, especially at trying hard to joke.

I've always had humor, it's natural to me, it might not be to you, AND THAT'S ALL GOOD.

I found my niche, and I exploited it. You need to find yours - by that I mean what get's a woman's attention. Are you a strong silent type ? A intense man with a few words type ?

You get what I'm trying to get at.

I always use this to remind myself to slow down "Cool, Calm, Collective"

It depends on your energy, your vibe, and personality.

You're still experimenting (I am too) - that's the beauty - we change.

If you have to, create an approach/game log.

Experiment, write down what did and didn't work with chicks on campus - you might start seeing a pattern develop.

Start whittling down what the source is within you, then start exploiting it.

[XPQ22]

^ Using humor that comes off as genuine works great for me as an opener, both online and off.

As the game situation evolves, I think that humor is going to become more and more important. The "strong silent" "most interesting man in the world" vibe just isn't going to cut it with the modern young woman in the age of social media. Almost nobody is legitimately interesting enough to make a woman think to herself "Oh! He's so mysterious! I must get to know him better." They've just been hit up four times on Tinder in the last hour. They don't care.

There's a reason that Roosh recommends watching Seinfeld for people new to game, and perhaps specifically Western culture. If you behaved like Jerry Seinfeld all the time, you'd be a stereotypical neurotic Jew and likely get laid pretty close to never. But that's not the objective. The objective is to look at his best material and note the timing and delivery. What you'll notice is that, like all good art, there's nothing extraneous and everything is in its place. Each word has purpose and there's not one extra.

An example: when Jerry is complaining about the guy who he thinks has converted to Judaism just for the jokes. That guy is the "wrong" kind of funny.

"So this is offensive to you as a Jew?"

"It's offensive to me as a comedian."

I don't think Donald Trump is a great example. He says some humorous things from time to time, but at his core he's just a bloviator. He uses too many words. He uses the word "love" fifteen times in the same speech, and so on. He obviously writes his own material. Women are fickle, but there's something I found that they generally don't like across the board: tryhard bloviators. So when someone says "funny guys don't get laid" you have to ask yourself: are you being charming and "observationally funny", or are you being a gabbermouth windbag?

The dilemma of being a politician and humor is that in a sense, you have to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And good comedy always has to be adapted to your audience (important game tip) and will never appeal to everyone, particularly the lowest common denominator.

Most politicians aren't particularly funny. Ironically, the one politician who strikes me has having at least some sort of innate and genuine sense of humor and delivery is Barack Obama - observational, dry, and sarcastic...an Alpha sense of humor, the type of humor that women mistake as being what men are attracted to when they talk about how "snarky and sassy" they are in their online dating profiles. But he's smart enough to tone it down a whole lot because the job requires that. You can tell that sometimes he probably just wants to spit what he's really feeling and could be really funny doing it, but can't. It's probably a really frustrating aspect of the position for him.

Humor doesn't always get me all the way, nothing ever will all the time, but I don't think it's an intrinsically bad way to start, and in my experience if she's feeling it right off the bat it usually means you're at least going somewhere.

[Cobra]

I'm not a fan of listening to PUAs like RSD talk about things like confidence. They either don't cover it with the relevance necessary or move past it in favor of their more favorable outer game "approach" methods.

Truth is that you don't need to approach a bunch of girls to gain confidence. Now that you know that's not the real issue, practice it everyday with anyone in your immediate social circle or people you get in contact with, not just girls. Trust me.

Example. See a girl/cashier/waitress/hostess/classmate wearing green, be sarcastic. "I can't even talk to you, the green reminds me of the ninja turtles." Shit like that. I'm sure kaotic can attest, this kind of shit works and you can even do better than my bullshit line.

The reason you are not seeing results may be that you're qualifying yourself too much. You whould be setting stage for a girl to qualify herself like in the previous paragraph.

I see this shit everyday even at work. There are single guys that are trying to get with single girls. They talk about random shit that's funny and the girls laugh. Then they say more random shit. And more and more. The vibe stays consistent. Nowhere in all that time did they tease the girl, tell her she was weird, tell her her thoughts are stupid or let her know that her behavior was rude in x or y situation even though she told them. When girls throw bait, I've see guys say "agreeable" things rather than very controversial things. You NEED to be controversial. That comes as a result of confidence. Be playful. "Shhh" them. Be bold. The point I'm trying to make is the same as what the other members are making. Focus on bold and confident and less on funny/humor. The other guys are looking for approval. You will be "escalating."

I know your problem is disagreement. Not hard to tell from the tone of your post. Start disagreeing with more people, other men for example. It'll prepare you. You get connected more the more you disagree believe it or not, because it creates a perception that you have your own beliefs and hence have value.

You will soon create a confidence in yourself that's unbreakable and also unquestionable to the point that you will not care what girls think. It's a long process but you need to have faith in this concept and keep speaking your mind. You'll notice your hardware change in time.

[travolta]

I discovered pickup stuff when I was 15 years old (12 years ago). I had almost no success with any of it. I only started to get laid when I started making money, which was about 5 years ago. Essentially when I became my own man. When I could afford to move out of my parents place and live alone, travel by myself, and generally just improved myself. This was the only thing that gave me enough confidence to get better with girls. There is no next "step" you have to take. I will say that being a clown does not help you get laid. I used to be a clown throughout high school and college and I might as well have been a virgin I got laid so little. Long story short, focus more on making money (making real money, not getting a job), improving your style, and making friends with people who know lots of girls. This is how you get laid, not by following too much pick up advice.

[Travesty]

You need the switch from light hearted guy to bloodthirsty tree panther.

You have to subtly show off your tree panther in the beginning and ramp it up towards the end.

Somewhere inside of you you have to feel like you want to dive out of that tree and go for the throat. The girl has to see and feel this when she sees that twinkle in your eye.

You cannot be a Care Bear inside. That is just your fuzzy exterior to get the girls close. You are the tree panther inside that mangles entire families of Care Bears, cubs and all.

If you aren't thinking about having rough sex with a girl when talking to her and looking directly into her eyes that is a great first step for the Jovial Nice Guy.

[Taco Illusionist]

Perhaps it's because your humour is possibly coming from a place of validation i.e. you come across as pining for their approval.

This is desperate, needy behavior which as others have already mentioned, women pick up almost instantly and are repulsed by naturally.

The key to good humour is that people laugh WITH you as opposed to AT you; could this be the cause?
This is possibly why girls initially laugh at you and then proceed to ignore/go back to their phones; you are coming across as nothing more than a jester for their amusement.

This can be fixed though, just be yourself and remember what the intention behind the joke is: Am I saying this because this is who I am/my personality or am I really just trying to impress those round me?

[Hazaer]

(02-28-2016 05:41 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

I see this shit everyday even at work. There are single guys that are trying to get with single girls. They talk about random shit that's funny and the girls laugh. Then they say more random shit. And more and more. The vibe stays consistent. Nowhere in all that time did they tease the girl, tell her she was weird, tell her her thoughts are stupid or let her know that her behavior was rude in x or y situation even though she told them. When girls throw bait, I've see guys say "agreeable" things rather than very controversial things. You NEED to be controversial. That comes as a result of confidence. Be playful. "Shhh" them. Be bold. The point I'm trying to make is the same as what the other members are making. Focus on bold and confident and less on funny/humor. The other guys are looking for approval. You will be "escalating."

I know your problem is disagreement. Not hard to tell from the tone of your post. Start disagreeing with more people, other men for example. It'll prepare you. You get connected more the more you disagree believe it or not, because it creates a perception that you have your own beliefs and hence have value.

You will soon create a confidence in yourself that's unbreakable and also unquestionable to the point that you will not care what girls think. It's a long process but you need to have faith in this concept and keep speaking your mind. You'll notice your hardware change in time.

I have seen in the forum that one of the things that creates rapport and builds attraction with a girl is the 'Agree and Amplify' strategy. How do we reconcile these two approaches?

[Hazaer]

From your replies, it seems that I have to cut back on the humour a little bit for now as first step. Also, I think not laughing too much when expressing humour and not specifically aiming it at her might help. As an aside, I am realizing that smiling lesser when normally interacting with girls can sometimes increase their interest level.

I believe that the thread has become more focussed on the humour part of the 'fun' personality that has been proposed. However, the other aspect that I wanted to bring up is the energy that is brought into this personality. I am seeing guys who bring a lesser amount of energy into the interaction getting more attention. Infact, sometimes a little indifference to the social situation also seems to pique a girl's interest and the next time, she wants to know where he is/what he is doing.

But this seems contrary to what some of the members in the forum propose to newbies ie. to build active conversation, bring high energy, act like the boss etc.

[kaotic]

(03-01-2016 07:41 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

From your replies, it seems that I have to cut back on the humour a little bit for now as first step. Also, I think not laughing too much when expressing humour and not specifically aiming it at her might help. As an aside, I am realizing that smiling lesser when normally interacting with girls can sometimes increase their interest level.

If you're too try hard, yes cutback. Be that cool calm reserved dude, you talk about smiling less - I talked about resting bitch face. But for dudes its resting asshole face.

Quote:

I believe that the thread has become more focussed on the humour part of the 'fun' personality that has been proposed. However, the other aspect that I wanted to bring up is the energy that is brought into this personality. I am seeing guys who bring a lesser amount of energy into the interaction getting more attention. Infact, sometimes a little indifference to the social situation also seems to pique a girl's interest and the next time, she wants to know where he is/what he is doing.

But this seems contrary to what some of the members in the forum propose to newbies ie. to build active conversation, bring high energy, act like the boss etc.

The less you care, the more girls might be interested.

It depends on how you are "fun" is it your words, your lifestyle, etc ?


You have to remember it depends on your type of personality, looks, dress, etc as well.

You need to blend what works, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

[Hazaer]

It's indeed a balancing act that I have yet to perfect. I do indeed find myself smiling without reason when I am in a group of merry friends although I don't find the topic particularly amusing. I don't find a lot of things funny but I have this tendency to go along with the flow. I guess this is a reaction to being told that I have a poker face when I was much younger and I should maintain a more cheerful disposition. Reading about game made it appear that amping up the energy level is the way to go but now I will try amping it down instead and see if it leads to increase attraction from the ladies.

I do think that in a college environment, there are so many things happening around girls in parties etc. that they don't actually have the time or patience to see who is behind the poker or resting asshole face but at the same time trying too hard also backfires. Also, say, you have this resting asshole face. Some chick chats you up. Then comes the issue of keeping the act up. You can't switch back to a playful banter as then that would not be congruent to the initial impression she had of you.