The last game-related book I read was The Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay, 2011 edition.
This book is primarily marketed toward men who are already deep into their marriages and are having marital problems with dwindling sex lives. However, there are a lot of things in the book that are applicable to single men working on their game, as well as to those who are in LTRs, but not married. It's a good book to read even if you aren't married or don't have any pressing intentions to marry anytime soon.
I consider this book a great alternative to The Rational Male. Athol writes extensively about the ingrained hypergamous nature of women in a layman's conversational and practical tone, as opposed to Rollo Tomassi's heavy academic and philosophical style in his books and blog. In fact, I recommend reading this book first, and if you really wanted to go deeper into the female nature, only then read Rational Male series.
Because it's a quick read, I won't go too deep into the details here. Rather, I'll do a quick cliff-notes summary, and then add my own thoughts.
Cliff Notes
Part 1 - What Women Really Want
This is where Athol talks about what makes women tick, and the evolutionary background that supports or explains their behaviors. Basically, way back before humans learned how to write, women looked for strong males who could hunt for food, build shelter, and protect them and their kids. It could simply mean getting into a fight with another male (sometimes to the death), and whoever wins the fight, gets the girl.
However, these same alpha traits and "warrior" behaviors could land you in jail today in modern society. The age of the written word and the industrial revolution really has changed the game. The beta behaviors of providing comfort and being a dependable provider are more compatible with modern society.
These societal changes are very recent and are nothing but a very small slice of human history, so there is a lot of confusion in both men and women. Today's women look for beta traits such as comfort and provider ability, but at the same time, alpha traits such as strength, preselection, and domination makes their vaginas tingle. This explains the alpha fucks beta bucks phenomenon.
Athol Kay posits that we don't want to be ENTIRELY alpha by getting rid of all our beta tendencies, but rather strike a balance between both alpha and beta. So, if you are too beta with women, you want to add a little more alpha to excite them. On the other hand, if you are too alpha with women, you want to add a little more beta to add comfort.
When a woman says "I love you but I'm not in love with you," it usually means she is already cheating or thinking about leaving you. The marriage is likely doomed, unless the husband increases his SMV fast, by following the prescribed Male Action Plan.
Part 2 - The Male Action Plan
The Male Action Plan (MAP), as Athol Kay writes it, is designed for struggling husbands to save their marriage. But as I read the MAP, I see a lot of stuff that we do here - or SHOULD be doing anyway.
Kay talks about the male and female's "Sex Rank", which is the same thing as what we refer to a person's SMV, or a female's hotness rank between 1 and 10.
Basically, the MAP tells husbands to raise their rank to pull even with their wives' SMV rank, or slightly ahead.
Let's say a husband is a 5 and his wife is a 7. Undoubtedly, the wife would have lost some or most of her attraction to her husband because he is lower than her in SMV rank. Other men who are ranked a 7 or higher would be getting her attention at the expense of her husband. The chances of her cheating on her husband are very high.
Now let's say the husband takes action to raise his SMV rank from a 5 to a 7, pulling even with his wife. This would result in regaining his wife's interest in him. If the husband pulls ahead and becomes an 8, his wife's sexual attraction toward her husband would greatly increase, drastically reducing the likelihood that she will cheat.
So, what is the MAP? What does the husband do?
It's basically the same as what we do here. Learn game, lose weight, gain muscle mass and strength, and be more masculine. Like I said earlier, if the husband is a total beta, he would gain major SMV points by working out, lifting, making more money, growing a backbone, stopping catering to her every need or demand, passing her shit tests, and adding more alpha traits to his overall personality.
Reading the book, especially part 2, is a good succinct review of what we should be doing to improve ourselves. The author cautions that this process can take more than a year, however. Initially, the wife would not notice the changes or if she did, wouldn't believe that these changes are for real. Then once she realizes the changes are really happening, she would try to sabotage her husband's progress to keep his SMV down (rather than increasing her own SMV, which takes a lot of work). Once the husband pulls even or a little higher than her SMV, the wife would finally become sexually attracted to him again and their sex life would restart.
It may not always work 100% of the time, and if it doesn't (or evidence of the wife's cheating is found), then divorce is an option. Towards the end of the book, Athol does acknowledge the high risks of marriage in Western society.
The author goes into detail on how to spice up sex lives between married couples. At some points he did come off as bragging about his sex life with his wife, but that was probably the point.
My Own Thoughts
Like I said, this is a good starter book for men who want to learn game as well as how women really work. It's more applicable to men who are already married and want to save their struggling marriages, but I think there is a lot of value for those of us who aren't married.
Personally, it resonated with me because my experience as a totally beta husband parallels the author's examples in the book. Like the Rational Male, it explained how women don't stop their attraction to men of higher SMV and therefore you need to keep your own SMV as high as possible in order to keep your wife and your sex life going. Letting yourself go and allowing your SMV to go 1-2+ points below that of your wife's literally kills your sex life, and greatly increases the chance that she'll cheat on you.
The book made perfect sense to me, but I take a little bit of an issue with the fact that it was written in 2011 and the author never addressed the feminism effect on the sexual market.
Say, if your wife is a 6 but she thinks she's a 9 based on how much attention she gets, both in real life through work, and online, the MAP probably won't be as effective if you start out as a 5 or 6 yourself.
If you are a 6, you could quickly raise yourself to a 7 in a few months by working out, lifting weights, and eating clean. But to take yourself to an 8 would be a longer and harder process, though still achievable. Getting to a 9 or 10 would probably not be in the cards unless you got famous or filthy rich or something, at least according to the author.
The problem with that is, on paper, your wife could be a 6 and you could be an 8 - your marriage should recover. But if your wife THINKS she's a 9, it might not work very well. I think some humility and modesty (as opposed to being an entitled and spoiled attention whore) on your wife's part is required for the whole thing to work.
So, the bottom line is, I think the author's most vulnerable assumption is that we are living in a balanced sexual market. We all know the sexual market in the West is anything but.
Still, this book provides value to those who want to understand women better, learn game, improve themselves, how to sex a woman good, and keep it interesting over a long time.
7/10, recommended read.
This book is primarily marketed toward men who are already deep into their marriages and are having marital problems with dwindling sex lives. However, there are a lot of things in the book that are applicable to single men working on their game, as well as to those who are in LTRs, but not married. It's a good book to read even if you aren't married or don't have any pressing intentions to marry anytime soon.
I consider this book a great alternative to The Rational Male. Athol writes extensively about the ingrained hypergamous nature of women in a layman's conversational and practical tone, as opposed to Rollo Tomassi's heavy academic and philosophical style in his books and blog. In fact, I recommend reading this book first, and if you really wanted to go deeper into the female nature, only then read Rational Male series.
Because it's a quick read, I won't go too deep into the details here. Rather, I'll do a quick cliff-notes summary, and then add my own thoughts.
Cliff Notes
Part 1 - What Women Really Want
This is where Athol talks about what makes women tick, and the evolutionary background that supports or explains their behaviors. Basically, way back before humans learned how to write, women looked for strong males who could hunt for food, build shelter, and protect them and their kids. It could simply mean getting into a fight with another male (sometimes to the death), and whoever wins the fight, gets the girl.
However, these same alpha traits and "warrior" behaviors could land you in jail today in modern society. The age of the written word and the industrial revolution really has changed the game. The beta behaviors of providing comfort and being a dependable provider are more compatible with modern society.
These societal changes are very recent and are nothing but a very small slice of human history, so there is a lot of confusion in both men and women. Today's women look for beta traits such as comfort and provider ability, but at the same time, alpha traits such as strength, preselection, and domination makes their vaginas tingle. This explains the alpha fucks beta bucks phenomenon.
Athol Kay posits that we don't want to be ENTIRELY alpha by getting rid of all our beta tendencies, but rather strike a balance between both alpha and beta. So, if you are too beta with women, you want to add a little more alpha to excite them. On the other hand, if you are too alpha with women, you want to add a little more beta to add comfort.
When a woman says "I love you but I'm not in love with you," it usually means she is already cheating or thinking about leaving you. The marriage is likely doomed, unless the husband increases his SMV fast, by following the prescribed Male Action Plan.
Part 2 - The Male Action Plan
The Male Action Plan (MAP), as Athol Kay writes it, is designed for struggling husbands to save their marriage. But as I read the MAP, I see a lot of stuff that we do here - or SHOULD be doing anyway.
Kay talks about the male and female's "Sex Rank", which is the same thing as what we refer to a person's SMV, or a female's hotness rank between 1 and 10.
Basically, the MAP tells husbands to raise their rank to pull even with their wives' SMV rank, or slightly ahead.
Let's say a husband is a 5 and his wife is a 7. Undoubtedly, the wife would have lost some or most of her attraction to her husband because he is lower than her in SMV rank. Other men who are ranked a 7 or higher would be getting her attention at the expense of her husband. The chances of her cheating on her husband are very high.
Now let's say the husband takes action to raise his SMV rank from a 5 to a 7, pulling even with his wife. This would result in regaining his wife's interest in him. If the husband pulls ahead and becomes an 8, his wife's sexual attraction toward her husband would greatly increase, drastically reducing the likelihood that she will cheat.
So, what is the MAP? What does the husband do?
It's basically the same as what we do here. Learn game, lose weight, gain muscle mass and strength, and be more masculine. Like I said earlier, if the husband is a total beta, he would gain major SMV points by working out, lifting, making more money, growing a backbone, stopping catering to her every need or demand, passing her shit tests, and adding more alpha traits to his overall personality.
Reading the book, especially part 2, is a good succinct review of what we should be doing to improve ourselves. The author cautions that this process can take more than a year, however. Initially, the wife would not notice the changes or if she did, wouldn't believe that these changes are for real. Then once she realizes the changes are really happening, she would try to sabotage her husband's progress to keep his SMV down (rather than increasing her own SMV, which takes a lot of work). Once the husband pulls even or a little higher than her SMV, the wife would finally become sexually attracted to him again and their sex life would restart.
It may not always work 100% of the time, and if it doesn't (or evidence of the wife's cheating is found), then divorce is an option. Towards the end of the book, Athol does acknowledge the high risks of marriage in Western society.
The author goes into detail on how to spice up sex lives between married couples. At some points he did come off as bragging about his sex life with his wife, but that was probably the point.
My Own Thoughts
Like I said, this is a good starter book for men who want to learn game as well as how women really work. It's more applicable to men who are already married and want to save their struggling marriages, but I think there is a lot of value for those of us who aren't married.
Personally, it resonated with me because my experience as a totally beta husband parallels the author's examples in the book. Like the Rational Male, it explained how women don't stop their attraction to men of higher SMV and therefore you need to keep your own SMV as high as possible in order to keep your wife and your sex life going. Letting yourself go and allowing your SMV to go 1-2+ points below that of your wife's literally kills your sex life, and greatly increases the chance that she'll cheat on you.
The book made perfect sense to me, but I take a little bit of an issue with the fact that it was written in 2011 and the author never addressed the feminism effect on the sexual market.
Say, if your wife is a 6 but she thinks she's a 9 based on how much attention she gets, both in real life through work, and online, the MAP probably won't be as effective if you start out as a 5 or 6 yourself.
If you are a 6, you could quickly raise yourself to a 7 in a few months by working out, lifting weights, and eating clean. But to take yourself to an 8 would be a longer and harder process, though still achievable. Getting to a 9 or 10 would probably not be in the cards unless you got famous or filthy rich or something, at least according to the author.
The problem with that is, on paper, your wife could be a 6 and you could be an 8 - your marriage should recover. But if your wife THINKS she's a 9, it might not work very well. I think some humility and modesty (as opposed to being an entitled and spoiled attention whore) on your wife's part is required for the whole thing to work.
So, the bottom line is, I think the author's most vulnerable assumption is that we are living in a balanced sexual market. We all know the sexual market in the West is anything but.
Still, this book provides value to those who want to understand women better, learn game, improve themselves, how to sex a woman good, and keep it interesting over a long time.
7/10, recommended read.
