Quote: (06-04-2014 08:23 PM)TripleG Wrote:
Guys, I'm a long time reader and contributor to the travel forum however this is my first post to the "newbie forum" as I haven't encountered this type of situation before. I recently came back from World Hockey Championships in Belarus and met a nice girl there. We basically hung out 24-7 while overseas and I made it to around 3rd base but due to conservatism, logistics, and limited time no deal was sealed.
We have been chatting ever since, for 3 weeks now and I am making tentative plans to visit her in the near future. When we discussed personal subjects on our dates she would mention that she had only a few partners in her life and they were all serious relationships and that she had not seen anyone in a long time.
Well, yesterday she casually mentioned she went to see a doctor and long story short she bought pills to be on birth control. I also found out that she had seen some guy as late as March (about 2 months before we met). I do not consider her my girl friend yet but we are definitely more than just friends. Since LTR are so difficult and I don't know how trustworthy she is unless I could see her every day would you consider
this a red flag for a fledgling relationship or would you guys say this is normal and it should be to my benefit that she revealed early on the fact that she's on birth control and had seen someone just before she met me?
Thanks.
Obviously I don't know her and I acknowledge the fact she *could* be Russia's #1 slut in an extreme scenario. Having said that here's my take...
I can speak not as a PUA but as a dude with some first hand experience on the matter, theirs is a radically different culture than anglosphere; I sometimes romantically think of it as black and white (good) TV era world! This view is not based on one now-glorified nostalgic view of a near-miss LTR from my twenties but years of experience (yeah one LTR
![[Image: angel.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/angel.gif)
) several shorter ones, and many male & female Russian & Ukranian friends, good time spent in field in Moscow and mostly in Kiev).
I wouldn't be surprised if she is actually "saving herself for you" now. I am very much aware of the top notch gamer sluts in Moscow and possibly other big cities - it would be foolish to assume all girls are angel in any part of globe. What you also get in RU sphere is the nice marriage-material girls in in my opinion huge numbers who still take the heart-to-vagina connection seriously - so much so that it seems unreal. In this area from what I see pill is quite common and "not a big deal". Locals of these countries can help us understand better. She is taking precaution so you should be happy about it and you also should not be foolish to not wear condom by delivering parts of your future to her pill's effectiveness (or her integrity) - just not yet.
It's not a red flag that she is mentioning these things to you (so openly!), it's a cultural thing I have experienced the same and had the same wtf! shock. It's just plain old honesty and straightforwardness which we partially forgot in some other parts of world due to decades of brutal gaming and counter-gaming. (romance killer: again we don't know her, she could actually be the (extreme case) honey off a gang or something - gather hard information before the visit without playing sherlock & when there, keep the condom and personally dispose off every time, alert at least a buddy of yours about your movements in detail, keep the GPS on, install an automated check-in app for android or something. you will most likely laugh at this thread 6 months down the line but you're not there yet - just be smart - safe than sorry).
Asking here on the forums to improve your knowledge is great; should extend on that: learn more on cultural differences by reading 'russian bride' sites. They're professionals making money on it. They do have a vested interest in drawing a nicer picture than it actually is but what they also do is provide solid information in bitesize for free on their sites. I read it before my first (business) visit (with zero intention of adding a 'bride' to shopping basket) most -if not all- of the information proven to be accurate (perhaps because I didn't look at the profile pictures). Do not click on the sponsored shitty top links in google search, use time tested organic #1 (non-advertisement) link on site to find a proper such site.
She is being jealous of you is normal and the sane feminine behaviour. I would not count it as red flag.
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I've told her that we are not in an LTR and I date other girls and she throws fits online
Why would you do that? Date other girls, don't overcommit/overinvest, if she asks keep it vague, "I can't promise anything", "time will tell", ...
No need to break her heart if she's indeed a sweetheart from 50s, romantically waiting on you.
No need to provide information if she's anything else after a ll it's your private life and you're not in a LTR, why report.
Last but most important bit: I think there's hardly any red flags here it's just shit getting real (with an unfamiliar culture girl) and you are probably not ready for it?
It all depends on what you want, as stated above LTRs statistically speaking don't work, and when it works, it usually ends up in greatly lowered access to resources followed by a final breakdown which takes you step one anyway. This relationship too (statistical forecast) will fail unless you somehow change logistics. Not knowing your situation and hers, assuming averages, due to financial realities of our time, you would be the man and driver of relationship in every way. In this one, you'll be far away from the 50/50land you are possibly used to by now.
On the one hand (from a logical point of view) it is a waste of resources for you to take any further action on this prospect, and a visit is surely a massive waste of resources IF your goal is maximizing female company.
On the PRO side it's a unique adventure onto itself (especially the very 1st one) if you're up for it, then it's not a waste of time even if this doesn't end up in 4 lovely kids
![[Image: heart.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/heart.gif)
3 dogs
I doubt this will happen but if you sense any flakes forget about travelling to her. Perhaps give her small tasks, possibly with small intentional ever increasing difficulty to see whether she'll go out of her way to accommodate your requests. If she is not solid problem solved and if she is, decide what you want before the next move.
Would you like to chase a tiny chance of solid relationship with a person 5000 miles(more?) away who will possibly never get your fine cultural reference jokes and will require translation/assistance till end of your days OR limit you to relatively basic communication at least next few years? It doesn't sound like an issue but yes it does get tiresome when the novelty wears off when she becomes a slightly different girl in your bed (see what I did - fast forward - you're living together in your house now) who talks to mama a lot. how does the imaginary picture feel.