[OregonToSoCal]

I did a forum search and couldn't find anything posted on this from our point of view but the title says it all. As you've gotten more experienced in setting up dates and the abundance mentality has kicked in, do you find yourself flaking on first dates more and more?

I know for me I'm at the point where I'm internalizing the Mark Manson "fuck yeah!" mindset. If I'm not completely excited about meeting a particular woman after I've scheduled a date I have no problem with canceling on them.

As an example I had a date lined up tonight with a 34yo Asian girl originally from the midwest. In her photos she looked to be a 6 or so (WB) but then when I spoke to her on the phone last night her voice and manner of speaking was a complete turn off to me and not the least bit feminine or bubbly. After the phone conversation last night I was still planning on meeting her today but then as the day progressed I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm for getting dressed up, acting interested in her and trying for a bang.

On the other hand I have a date with a 28yo blonde on Thurs who I also spoke with on the phone and I'm absolutely excited to meet her. A definite "fuck yeah!" girl.

When I flake I do feel a little pang of guilt since I've been on the receiving end of that more times than I can count but then I quickly think about how little remorse a woman would give to flaking on me and I'm immediately over it.

[amusedmastery]

I just flaked on the cute Italian girl I've been seeing to check out some other action. Oh well....It's not like they don't pull that card on a 500:1 ratio on us.

I did feel guilty though because she actually has "some" old school values (buffers to hypergamy).

Go ahead and flake from time to time. It only makes women want you more.

[XII]

I flake on more than half of my internet dates, and I've yet to flake on a girl I've met IRL.

[Il Bersagliere]

I flaked on a girl in Saigon today because I wanted to spend time with my other girl. Plus I was sick. But I let her know and we rescheduled.

[kaotic]

I'll get overwhelmed and occasionally double book dates, I'd say for every 3 dates I plan, I'll flake on 1.

Hell I'll even flake on my LTR ever so often.

[Sonoma]

I rarely outright flake, it's annoying and antisocial.

Definitely will reschedule indefinitely, or postpone and not offer an alternative.

Usually will show up late though, gets the juices flowing

[amusedmastery]

I always reschedule as well. I can't act like a feral cat.

[Saweeep]

I used to find it amusing to arrange dates with 100% intention of flaking.

Just to keep the hamster in line.

The later the flake, the more they want to see you again.

Simple little rodents!

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Instead of flaking, I tend to leave meet up times open-ended

For instance, stating a day but not a time as I am usually shuffling most likely DTF options to the very front of the line

Flexibility is hard to come by sometimes, meaning I end up pushing others into next week sometime

Flaking outright is not something I do, although there was a time recently were I flat out forget and heard about it later

A month later now she's on my line saying "Are u done getting to know me now?"

Classic reopen

[OregonToSoCal]

Good to know I'm not alone here. My flaking is not so much a strategy to pique their interest as it is more of me just not giving a shit about meeting another average, vapid girl. I've definitely turned the corner and am more interested in having 1 quality date every couple of weeks than I am 10 so so dates. A part of me secretly longs for the naive, blue pill version of myself that was filled with hope at the "magic" of meeting that special woman. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth there...

[Gmac]

"Sorry gotta work late tonight, let's reschedule."

[amusedmastery]

@oregontosocal

I know of which you speak. Once you've internalized the red pill, it's hard to
get that feeling about Western women. I just set my watch and see how long it takes for them to say something fem-imperative cringeworthy, admit to sluttery, or just plain act like a soulless vamp. Haha.

Oh well, at least it's mildly entertaining. I've cut down on dates as well. If she doesn't seem like she's interesting to talk to or adds value, I just don't want to hear it anymore. Also, I'm gravitating toward younger women with strict, traditional values that they do not resent.

[Vincent Chase]

I also tend to double and triple book girls, as my flake ratio online is about 50%.

I flake on about 4 girls a month, sometimes more. I usually use the same bullshit excuses I get served.

Some girls can sense I may flake, since I may be busy with an earlier date and not send them a text a couple of hours before the date. They typically flake themselves just to preserve their own dignity.

I flaked on a Polish girl a few weeks back, literally completely stood her up as she was waiting outside the train station (her phone died so she didn't get my text that I can't make it so not completely intentional). Ignored her for 3 days then sent her a restart text. She was like "why the fuck are you messaging me, I don't understand it, you stood me up and I spent 30 minutes waiting for you". I met up with her on a date that weekend and fucked her. Classic.

[Coldfire]

If it's a first date and I hear about a deal breaker then I'll flake or if she has a bad attitude and make an excuse to reschedule later

[MrXY]

I flake 3-4 times a month. Sometime on girls I've already banged, sometimes on those I haven't.

I flake for various reasons-because I've double booked and one coming through, or something else I'd rather do came up, or I just don't feel like putting out the effort that evening, or I've decided I'm just not that into her.

It's amusing how angry and frustrated women get at being flaked on; they consider it their prerogative to flake and even though they've flaked on men scores of times they are very affronted if you do it to them.

One thing I have noticed is that if I flake on a girl before I have banged her-usually on a first drink meeting but sometimes on a second date, my chances of banging her the next time I see her go way up. In fact, the angrier she got at the flake, the better my odds.

[OregonToSoCal]

Interesting point MrXY. I flaked on a girl months ago and she hit me up out of the blue about a month ago wondering 'where's my drink?' We met up and she ended up sleeping over and I banged her in the morning. I need to experiment with this a little more.

[amusedmastery]

Maybe I need to stop rescheduling when I flake. This girls are so entitled that I constantly have to remind myself to go "Dark Triad" more and more. Sheesh.

[Rawmeo]

I never flake on a new girl if the bang is guaranteed. If there is a low bang chance, such as "I come but no sex" and I don't feel like dealing with LMR, I'll just tell her that I "work", and get one of my harem plates

[DonnyGately]

I flake about half the time if I'm not really into them/online. Any hint of them flaking I just cancel first. Or if the first meetup for a drink is meh. Within a week they are texting me and dying to meet up - happened several times this summer with college and post-grads.

[Travesty]

(08-12-2015 04:30 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

One thing I have noticed is that if I flake on a girl before I have banged her-usually on a first drink meeting but sometimes on a second date, my chances of banging her the next time I see her go way up. In fact, the angrier she got at the flake, the better my odds.

Then why not purposely flake on every single first date at the last minute?

Seriously?

I don't have much experiencing flaking on chicks, I don't get flaked on very often these days maybe twice a year (I used to a bit more in the past) so I haven't experimented. The lead usually dies before a flake happens or she shows up. I day game or screen well for online. Since chicks don't flake much for me I don't double book almost ever, I also usually don't stack enough leads at one time I usually hover up to around 5 max. I think I would need 8+ leads to double book. Whenever I get to that many girls it seems like too much work, maybe I'm lazy. I have pushed up the quality a bit in the last year or so too so I think that affects my desire to flake goes down. It used to be a lot of early 20's low to mid 6's with a 7 thrown in here and then, now it's strictly 7+.

[MrXY]

If you only get flaked on twice a year I wish you would share your secret with the rest if us, because you certainly have the lowest flake rate on thev forum.

As to why I don't flake on all my first dates, it's because pretty often I would like to have sex with a new girl that night rather than 2 or 3 weeks later.