Quote: (01-12-2009 04:20 PM)Trotter Wrote:
How I do this with my current gf is that I'm always Alpha when it comes to the relationship in general.
No to pick on you Trotter, your post was really insightful, I gotta use that line about 'kicking their asses'.
I more like the way Kerouac has approached here with the 'strong team player' 'captain' mentality.
I don't like the whole Alpha / Beta split that comes out so often now.
I think there are some good things to come out of the concept, but the Big Danger here is that all these men think they have to become Neanderthals to be "alpha", and its fricking painful for women and other men.
I think of the good traits as
a) having your own opinion on things.
b) being prepared to do shit your girlfriend doesn't approve of
c) having your own passions and not giving them up
d) calling her out on her own shit. telling her what you feel when you feel it. Expressing your anger (not in a violent or intimidating way) when you have it. Eg. telling her "No way" in a strong male voice.
and also stuff which might be classed as beta
e) listening to your girfriend when she has a complaint and entertaining her concerns seriously
f) showing compassion and empathy for other people
g) apologising when you honestly think you've done something wrong and correcting it.