[VincentVinturi]

One thing that'll never let you down in life, and in game, is standing by your terms.

Terms will get you laid, get you paid, earn respect, and perhaps most importantly of all, your terms are a reliable framework for maintaing a sense of self-satisfaction and relaxed contentment with your journey through life.

Let me really clear about the language I'm using:

Terms are the real-life manifestation of asking yourself "what do I want?" and doing that thing (or, conversely, asking yourself "what don't I want?" and not doing that thing).

Classic example: a girl you just met at a bar asks you to buy her a drink.

You go inside of yourself and ask "what do I want?"

If you're honest and not insanely rich, it will probably be something like...

"I don't want to buy this girl I don't know a drink. I suspect she's using me for this drink. I suspect spending money on a girl who hasn't demonstrated any value to my life yet would actually lower my chances of fucking her. And I certainly don't want to throw money away on unproven prospect just because she feels entitled to a drink on my dime."

If you do what you want and politely refuse to buy the girl a drink, whether that takes the form of teasing her or just smiling and saying 'no', you'll feel self-satisfied that you didn't anything you don't want to do.

So as a result of asking yourself what you truly want to do in this situation (input), your terms manifest in the form of "I don't blindly invest in strangers who haven't proven themselves worthwhile".

And the result of sticking to your terms is polite refusal (or however you choose to say no).

A real example happened to me just yesterday with a very sexy girl.

I was chatting with this Thai girl online and finally our schedules meshed so I told her to meet me at Villa Market (a high end grocery store in Thailand).

So I arrive at the Market and text her to come meet me on the front steps.

As I walk up to the steps I see another girl leaving the store looking absolutely stunning and we make a good 5 seconds of solid eye contact.

She had a total "don't bother me" bitch face on but the eyes don't lie chico, so I computed whether it would be worth blowing myself out to talk to this chick if the online girl shows up.

I checked my phone real quick and online girl messaged me saying "is that you...?" I look up into the parking lot and the broad that just walked past me is now smiling up at me.

Online game is a strange thing. You say a few bullshit pleasantries to each other and then when you finally meet you're so much more prequalified to each other.

So I go for the hug greeting but she gives me a limp handshake. Bad start, Jack.

But she's smiling and I'm feeling that tingly sensation in my balls and stomach so I know it's on.

We hop on my death scooter and whiz over to the pier, which is a perfect date location about 15 minutes from my place.

No drinks, no crowds, just vibing with beautiful nature all around and by now it's fairly dark so I'm constantly turning up the heat, looking for excuses to touch, to kiss, spank, pick her up and tease her.

Anyway, after 30 minutes of walking the sexual tension was very high. A lot of touching, coy looks, spanking and so forth.

So I say "hey let's go back to my place and watch a movie". She glances at me out of the corner of her eye as if to say "movie my ass". And then agrees. lol broads.

So now we're back at my place and I'm doing everything I can think of to get this girl naked but she won't even let me kiss her, just keeps pulling away or pushing my face away which is something that pissing me the fuck off but I calm myself and refocus on getting in her pants.

And by the way, she's loving every moment of it. Some girls really get off on being desired and chased, even more so than the actual fucking, or even in lieu of any real sexual desire.

After a good 30 minutes of caveman tactics, freeze outs, "you don't like me?", etc., I was fed up.

Meanwhile she was lecturing me about how she doesn't fuck with guys that aren't her boyfriend bla blah blah, I've heard this malarky so many times.

At this point I said "look baby, I understand. I'm not your boyfriend and honestly I'd be a terrible boyfriend. It's no problem. We just want different things. Come on, get your stuff I'll take you home."

Then her face clouded over and she whimpered a little like she was on the edge of crying.

"what's wrong?" I ask.

"You lie me!"

"Huh?"

"You say we gonna watch movie but you want only fuck!"

I gotta hand it to her, she was really congruent with her good girl act not that I believed it for a second. But I was definitely ready to call it a night.

So I say "haha, come on... you know movie doesn't mean movie. I was grabbing your ass all night and then invite you to my room to watch a movie. Come on..." I repeat my eyes twinkling.

So she pouts a little longer and then I say come on let's go I'll take you home now.

She gets up and does a full body pout as she gathers her belongings like she's disappointed.

Funny thing is there were a few times I grabbed her hair and pulled it hella hard and I could tell it turned her on but she still wouldn't let me near her mouth or to take any of her clothing off. Rape fantasy bullshit no doubt.

So she's standing with her sweatshirt and bag in her hands ready to leave and playing with her phone.

I come up behind her and re-escalate, massaging her ass cheeks and finally slipping into crotch territory unfettered.

As soon as her hips started gyrating in rhythm with my fingers I hooked her pants with my hands and thrust her pants and panties off in one fell swoop.

And then it hit me like a fucking block of gorgonzola.

Pussy smell almost knocked me on my ass.

I shooed her into the shower and had her detox that mug before going to town.

Sex was good but not worth the bullshit.

Point is, this chick was playing the good girl role pretty damn congruently. But that didn't stop me from trying to escalate over and over and over again.

And then when the negotiation finally came to a head and it was "fuck" or "fuck off" I was perfectly willing to drive her home and take my ass to sleep.

And we all know that no chick really believes you want to watch Scent of a Woman together when she barely speaks English.

Haha funny that this is the movie I proposed and she turned out to have one hell of a womanly scent herself.

All the more so if you've made your sexual intent clear with about as much subtlety as a kick to the stomach.

The beauty of sticking by your terms is that it's always win/win.

This broad can get naked, which is great, or she can go home, which is great too. You don't betray yourself, you don't have to lie about anything, and you can still get yours.

Happy Thai New Year fellow RVFers! Oss.

[HonantheBarbarian]

Great post. It really is a win win.

[Geomann180]

(04-15-2015 12:43 PM)HonantheBarbarian Wrote:  

Great post. It really is a win win.

^As is your username.

G

[Isaac Jordan]

I matched with a girl on Tinder last week that seemed really into me right off the bat.

We matched on Sunday, I got her number on Monday. She lives 90 miles away, but she said she was going to be in my neck of the woods Saturday so we set up a date for that afternoon.

I was direct from the start, and she won't stop sexting me all week. Sending dirty pictures, saying she can't stop thinking about me, she can just imagine the taste of my dick in her mouth, blah blah blah. She's only a 6, while I'm a fucking catch, so I buy her enthusiasm. I grab a fresh jar of coconut oil at the grocery store, thinking this one's going to be a layup.

Friday afternoon rolls around and I touch base to double check our date on Saturday. She doesn't quite confirm, saying she made lunch plans with friends but she'll "see how long it takes" and let me know if she can meet me after.

I tell her no, that won't work, that I can be flexible on the exact time but I need to know she plans on meeting me. She tells me she's having lunch in X neighborhood and that I'm a 40 minute drive away and that she's not sure if she'll feel up to it after eating. Can't she just let me know Saturday?

Fuck that. I'm not going to waste a valuable Saturday afternoon, twiddling my thumbs in the hopes that she just happens to be ovulating that day, or maintains momentum from a night of terrible decision making to power through a hungover carb-fueled brunch binge with her bitches.

So, after a week of fantasizing about all the nasty things I'm going to do to this chick, after countless nude snapchats and dirty texts, I tell her it's our original plan or nothing. And I never hear back from her.

Technically a mark in the "L" column, but damn if it didn't feel good sticking to my guns.

[Ingocnito]

(04-19-2015 10:36 PM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

I matched with a girl on Tinder last week that seemed really into me right off the bat.

We matched on Sunday, I got her number on Monday. She lives 90 miles away, but she said she was going to be in my neck of the woods Saturday so we set up a date for that afternoon.

I was direct from the start, and she won't stop sexting me all week. Sending dirty pictures, saying she can't stop thinking about me, she can just imagine the taste of my dick in her mouth, blah blah blah. She's only a 6, while I'm a fucking catch, so I buy her enthusiasm. I grab a fresh jar of coconut oil at the grocery store, thinking this one's going to be a layup.

Friday afternoon rolls around and I touch base to double check our date on Saturday. She doesn't quite confirm, saying she made lunch plans with friends but she'll "see how long it takes" and let me know if she can meet me after.

I tell her no, that won't work, that I can be flexible on the exact time but I need to know she plans on meeting me. She tells me she's having lunch in X neighborhood and that I'm a 40 minute drive away and that she's not sure if she'll feel up to it after eating. Can't she just let me know Saturday?

Fuck that. I'm not going to waste a valuable Saturday afternoon, twiddling my thumbs in the hopes that she just happens to be ovulating that day, or maintains momentum from a night of terrible decision making to power through a hungover carb-fueled brunch binge with her bitches.

So, after a week of fantasizing about all the nasty things I'm going to do to this chick, after countless nude snapchats and dirty texts, I tell her it's our original plan or nothing. And I never hear back from her.

Technically a mark in the "L" column, but damn if it didn't feel good sticking to my guns.

I had a Tinder match do something similar last week. Sexts, the same routine all week more or less. She texts me Friday saying she was in the hospital for a kidney infection. yea right. So she verifies on her own without me asking, by sending a pic of her admission wrist band and in hospital gown.

Saturday we had made plans to go out, and fuck after I take her dancing. We actually talked about the sex we'd have and how I'd fuck her. Well those plans seemed bamboozled unless the IV antibiotic she was on took hold and she got released.

They released her Friday night, before she crashes she says if she's feeling better we're still on for Saturday and she'd call/text. Next day didn't hear anything so I touch base at 3pm. She says she has fever and has been sleeping a lot. blah blah.

Told her then get a hold of me when you're feeling better. Nothing. Cold ghosted, didn't hear a peep all week this week either. I haven't had something that seemed so in the bag, just completely drop off in quite a while.

What's funny is how much time she spent sexting and texting me and all worked up and horny. I'd say she was a 6.5, 7 on a good day, 5'3" 115 lb brunette. She seemed proud that I'd show interest in her. Poof. Gone. Your welcome lucky fucker for the slut I primed for your dick.

[Isaac Jordan]

(04-20-2015 12:03 AM)Ingocnito Wrote:  

What's funny is how much time she spent sexting and texting me and all worked up and horny.

Exactly. That's what bugged me-how could this girl invest so much time and energy into talking with me, make explicit plans for sex with me, and then flake?

I think Heartiste nailed the answer in one of his latest posts, Women Desire to Be Desired:

Quote:

Quote:

Marta Meana, a researcher at the University of Nevada, has argued provocatively that the organizing principle of female sexuality is the desire to be desired.

That’s the money shot right there. Women’s desire is to be desired. This conclusion is perfectly in line with similar notions of female sexual psychology made at various UglyTruth outlets, such as the idea that women are the “receiving” sex or that women want to submit to a dominant man. The shared animating impulse described by all these ideas is the innate compulsion of women to be desired. Desired so strongly that a man loses control of himself. Women are, by their very nature, irredeemably solipsistic, and this solipsism is a function of their genetic prime directive: to use their bodies and their beauty to capture the seed and the services of a high value man.

One thing that hit me after reading that post (and what lead me to writing her off rather than attempting to reschedule) was that this chick was ALWAYS ON TINDER. Every time I'd log in, while sitting in traffic or waiting for a cup of tea to steep, etc., this girl would either be on the app or have been logged in within the last five minutes.

In hindsight, I don't this girl had any intention of ever meeting me. I think she got off on being desired, on scrolling down a list of attractive men and being able to tell herself that they all wanted her. She enjoyed the sexting because it served as a demonstration of alpha male desire that validated her opinion of herself as attractive. Attention whoring at its finest.

[eradicator]

the whole 'will you buy me a drink' question has been addressed, first off, if a chick randomly asks you that, she is either out of touch or your frame is off. The only time this happened to me, my response was "i was hoping you'd buy me one", she laughed and went around asking more guys to buy her a drink. El mech's response is 'ok but it's wild turkey or nothing', which would ruin the girls night. that works too.

[UberBicep]

So where should you draw the line on your terms? This is difficult to judge sometimes?

If a girl stood you up, but had a plausible excuse would you let her off? Perhaps
If an LTR cheats on you? Definitely not
If a girl tells a white lie? Maybe

We're always wanting to get the best out of every situation but I wonder how many good things I've missed out on by having boundaries set too high. But set them too low and they will take you for a ride.

[Rawmeo]

Nice post, +1 from me. Stick to your terms.
For example, I won't invite a girl to dinner if she hasn't proven herself. If I got a bang from her, she will get food from me as a way to thank her. Otherwise, she can ask a beta.
If I invite a girl to my place, it's to fuck. There is no excuse for a girl to agreeing to come to my place without wanting sex. I will push through LMR, but if I really can't get the bang, I kick her out.

[VincentVinturi]

(04-20-2015 07:35 AM)UberBicep Wrote:  

So where should you draw the line on your terms? This is difficult to judge sometimes?

If a girl stood you up, but had a plausible excuse would you let her off? Perhaps
If an LTR cheats on you? Definitely not
If a girl tells a white lie? Maybe

We're always wanting to get the best out of every situation but I wonder how many good things I've missed out on by having boundaries set too high. But set them too low and they will take you for a ride.

Yeah I agree it's difficult to judge on the finer points.

There are always extenuating circumstances, your level of horniness, how much time you've invested, etc.

I always just go by how I feel in the moment, with the caveat that certain terms are absolutely unbreakable.

I figure if there's no set of objective criteria that will apply to every situation, the one thing that will always be more or less dependable is what my emotions are telling me.

Again, this is within the context of never doing certain things (no dinner dates for a first date, no meeting a girl when logistics are shit or she wants to bring her friends, etc.) ALWAYS doing certain other things (always going for the bang, always being straight up about what I can/can't offer, etc).

Ingocnito Wrote:

What's funny is how much time she spent sexting and texting me and all worked up and horny.

In my experience it's a mistake to turn up the heat before you're there with the girl in person, even when you're pulling off Craiglist or Tinder for what is ostensibly a fuck date.

"I'm not on Tinder for a one night stand, OK!?"

Haha bitch please.

Anyway so you invest a bunch of time and emotional energy and get yourself all worked up.

Then she might not even show or make up an excuse.

After all, in the cyber world she can be a dirty little slut with a complete stranger but actually meeting with a dude will make her nervous, especially after she said all that shit and sent all those pics.

I've had long cyber sexual relationships with chicks and then when I went for the meetup most of them flaked.

So I realized you can still communicate sexual intent over text without getting overtly sexual and scaring the girl off.

Gotta leave something to the imagination.

The purpose of the texting is to get her to meet, that's it.

That's the biggest hurdle.

After that, if your game and logistics are tight, unless some force majeur intervenes, you'll be smashing the chick at the end of the date.

I have a pretty good sample size from like 2 months of online dating where I experimented with a dirty approach on hundreds of girls.

It was FAR less effective than being polite, confident, teasing and disarming and going for the meet up.

[Mister X]

You have to be prepared to lose out on some lays. In my opinion you should be doing that anyway as you shouldn't be bending over backwards for poon.

You gotta stick with your convictions. You may lose out on a bang, but the girl will respect you. She'll realize then she's dealing with a man. It may not get your dick wet in the end sometimes but it's still better to bang on your terms than to jump through hoops, for anybody.

[Ingocnito]

(04-20-2015 08:45 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

In my experience it's a mistake to turn up the heat before you're there with the girl in person, even when you're pulling off Craiglist or Tinder for what is ostensibly a fuck date.

Yea that was my thought after it occurred. Seemed odd however as she was equally firing back and doing a bit of the escalation to sexualize things. In her case, her responding:"Holy hell, you're hot!," after receiving my pics I thought OK.. this one should be fairly easy, as I might be above her in the looks department.

Her consistent texting, which I applied good text game to, gave the illusion she was potentially more interested in the meet up than not. Her even saying:"Ok I'm not saying we're definitely having sex, but if I'm attracted to you as I think I'll be, since our conversations are so great.. then you have to promise to be nice.."

I think the real issue was she had a FWB that probably became available who she has good sex with and reconnected, and her girl-fear got the best of her, or fear of success with another man took hold and I simply got beat out. Goes to say, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.

[Suits]

Good stuff. Usually both the chick and I end up happier when I'm completely honest.

Of course, you can't be honest in a way that comes off as thirsty.

The best situation to be honest in is one where you only want to get laid if it isn't too much trouble.

Otherwise, you'd prefer a full night of sleep.

[Mage]

I believe living on your terms is the true borderline between alpha and beta.

My classification:

Omega - cannot get a woman on any terms, except desperate prostitutes or real (non-feminist defined) rape.
Beta - can get a woman on woman's terms (marriage, money, pay for drinks, jumping trough hoops, useful as a tool, sex only when female has no "headache" etc.), therefore always monogamous or single.
MGTOW - lives on his own terms but cannot get a woman on them.
Alfa - can get women on his own terms. (No strings attached, softer or harder polygamy, sex on demand, women do the pursuing after initial approach etc.)

Being a MGTOW brings more happiness then being a beta.
Point is you can have pussy, you can have hot pussy and you can have a lot of pussy and still be beta if it is not on your terms, but the woman dictates the terms.