[LAX]

(04-07-2015 10:37 AM)8ball Wrote:  

We should probably have a flake thread (if there already isn't one). That way we can all help with responses.

We do: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-12137.html

The difference here is a matter of perspective. OP correctly outlined the fact the lizard attention span these days is practically zero. State change happens exponentially faster due to the incredible validation feedback they get from 100 forms of social media. The chick was so down when you interacted. Soon as you step away that feeling she got begins to reduce at a rapid rate and slowly dissipates replaced by the consistent validation spikes.

I think the main concern here is: what do you put up with? On one side, staying persistent until you know it's over (maybe via 3-4 quick hit texts over a time period) may get you the bang, but if you have a no BS policy, you move onto the next no problem. It depends on your agenda.

I mean - it is really about the bang isn't it? Pride and ego are important, but at the end of the day - do you consider the bang as a win or the fact that you didn't put up with bad behaviour? I've done both depending on how the options looks like and how hot the chick is sometimes. As a player with many weapons, you have to adapt and access different situations.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not advocating keeping at the lizard till she calls the cops. If you have sent 3-4 texts in a row, no response, it is dead. And don't ever text from a weak position - 'Hey! How's it? Didn't hear from you!??!'...more like 'Again...at XYZ bar...sick DJ..you are missing out yet again...' because you can be sure you messages are public social circle consumption.

I tend go to with the OP route depending on the investment I put in.

[Chapped3rdEye]

"Soft" flaking/rescheduling isn't a big deal in my experience. If it's the first meeting off of Tinder or whatever I pretty much expect it. Some incredible girls have come through after multiple reschedules. I would have definitely missed out if I had a zero tolerance policy.

[Stun]

(04-06-2015 02:19 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

TL;DR
It's basically a shit test.


Don't psych yourself out. You probably did a better job than you think attracting & connecting during your opening phase.

Due of always-on, always connected techology, the perceived mate value of male suitors has gone down. In the past, a new suitor on her scene held a certain intrigue & unavailability, which can be manufactured through game, but is ultimately ineffective due to so many other guys willing to give her attention when she wants it, and on her terms.

Along comes a guy with good game. Someone like a reader of this forum. You make a great first impression, she's interested, you make future plans, and exchange contact information. In the moment, she's looking forward to it. It makes sense for her.

But fast forward to a later date, and you leave a voice message or send a follow up text. You're keen to meet, but she's no longer in state. It's not that she doesn't remember you. She does. But she's not in the mood now. To meet up, she has to be emotionally prepared. Now here's an invitation to meet up with an attractive guy, with good game, who stands a good chance of getting into her pants now? No, that would way to easy she thinks. Plus she's not in the mood for sex.

She also figures her notch count certainly doesn't need to be any higher. It's not like she's some slut. Not like those other girls that no doubt gave it up to you easily. No, better to show you she's different. Better to hold out. Better to just let you text her some more. If he really wants it, he'll keep trying. Besides, each funny text she got from you have been a virtual bubble of just-as-fun. And she doesn't even need to get dressed, put on makeup, or be interesting.

In an effort to salvage your wasted night, you run your funniest, best text game, but it's too late. She's already in her PJ's. You finally send "no worries. some other time", and concede defeat. The drip feed of text stimulation provided by you stops. "That was fun" she thinks. Now bored, she checks her instagram comments, and fields texts from a half dozen other potential suitors, friends & orbiters while settling in with netflix for the night.

She has a slight headache from tilting her head just so for the last 15 minutes to get just the right amount of cleavage for a couch selfie with her dog. Better cancel plans with another one of her suitors for tomorrow night now. His 3rd flake of the week, he gets mad over text, and tells her how selfish & inconsiderate she is. Disqualified. She screenshots the butthurt text to a few friends & #1 white knight for validation. "what a jerk" Obv he just wanted to get in your pants. That's true, she thinks. What does he think this is, a sprint to the finish line? I'm worth so much more. A marathon at least! If he really cared, he would be more patient. Like that cool guy from earlier. Persistent, but funny! Yeah, he's still in the running...

You're still in the running.

This is half the story.

Girls flake for two main reasons:

1. Avoiding an awkward future meeting
2. Abundance on her part

When a girl flakes for reason 1, this is typically a problem with Qualification.

Can she answer this question: What does he like about me aside from my looks?

The answer to that question is directly proportional to whether you'll be flaked on or not. If she can enthusiastically answer the question in her mind, there is almost zero chance of a flake. As is typical with guys, she usually can not answer the question, and you go into the abundance pack with everyone else.

[Stun]

(04-07-2015 02:43 PM)LAX Wrote:  

I mean - it is really about the bang isn't it? Pride and ego are important, but at the end of the day - do you consider the bang as a win or the fact that you didn't put up with bad behaviour? I've done both depending on how the options looks like and how hot the chick is sometimes. As a player with many weapons, you have to adapt and access different situations.

I try to not make it about pride or ego, but about an unemotional behavior policy that I adhere to. I tolerate certain behavior, don't tolerate other behavior, and I'm enforcing that policy as often as possible through my own actions. Well - as much as possible.

I try to train in good behavior through my actions, much in the way you would train an animal to be well-behaved. We are all lizards underneath.

[Stun]

(04-07-2015 02:57 PM)Chapped3rdEye Wrote:  

"Soft" flaking/rescheduling isn't a big deal in my experience. If it's the first meeting off of Tinder or whatever I pretty much expect it. Some incredible girls have come through after multiple reschedules. I would have definitely missed out if I had a zero tolerance policy.

Knowing the difference between a normal postponing of things and a legit flake is an art. There's no shame in that game, as long as you are operating within your frame and not hers.

[Dalaran1991]

Great post. As always, I applaud the positive mindset of this forum.

But I guess I'll have to say that, knowing this doesn't really help your game that much. In the end it doesn't matter if you are cool and know that her flaking doesn't has anything to do with you. You are still not getting laid that night, and maybe even on a second or third try (which I doubt, since most of our members would next the girl already)

If it helps you to feel less jaded and sleep better at night, awesome. I have internalized that girls are supposed to flake, and always schedule a date where I can have fun whether or not she comes. But no matter how you cut it a flake is annoying at best and frustrating at worst.

Imagine a friend who flake on you. After a few tries you would stop hanging out with or inviting him out. A doctor/professor/business partner flake on you, you know it's wrong and it's outright disrespectful and you deserve an apology. A flake is in essential a sign of disrespect, and an insult at worst. Since when should a human being get away with not showing up at the date and time agreed upon because her cat drown in the sink/her uncle is drunk and staying over/she got nothing to wear?

I think I'll care a lot less when I get to the point like some of you guys when you can call up so many girls, a girl flaking on you doesn't even register. For now, flakes are still a fucking annoyance.

[Mister X]

My biggest issue with game and the manosphere in general is all you're doing is playing defense. Everything taught is merely a response to the female condition.

They'll teach you how to condition your psyche to handle rejection, they'll give you techniques on how to minimize flaking, or how to accept it without blowing a gasket - but there is nothing about what we can do as a gender to create a dating world in which flaking is seen as disrespectful, immature, and tacky.

We drank the koolaid. Guy flips out because his time was wasted? He's a beta virgin who's desperate for pussy, he also may secretly have an issue with women. He's a woman hating beta bitch. That's the narrative women have created, and as players, we accept it and decide instead to say "it's cool, no problem" when we're flaked on. We never go on the offensive. We never say "this is what we expect of our women, and we won't tolerate anything less."

We just continue to handle bullshit behavior, and just come up with creative ways to handle it, until that dries up and we have to think of something else. And I don't mean legitimate cancellations. We all know the difference. At least I hope so.

That's why game is evolving while at the same time staying the same.

Evolving in the sense that approach game becomes online dating game becomes social media game - but staying the same in the sense that it's still only teaching ways to tackle shit tests as opposed to preventing them in the first place.

I say again as I have in another flaking related thread - telling the girl off will 9 times out of 10 blow all chances of sex, if not 10 times out of 10. But if all men did that, maybe women wouldn't be so flakey. Maybe they'd take a second to think "well, I probably shouldn't waste this guy's time, the last couple of times I did that I burned some bridges."

Playing the aloof cool guy who doesn't care about getting flaked on, gets you laid personally, but hurts your gender and dating norms as a whole. Because then women think it's acceptable to continue flaking on men.

[CJ]

Good theory OP, but the truth is there is no ONE REASON why girls flake. There's probably close to one million.

The shitty part is flaking is pretty much situational, thus there's really no way to properly counter a flake. Building comfort and attraction helps, but is far from a guarantee.

That's why this is a numbers game, and you should account for an expected flake rate. Fortunately, the more experienced/better you get, the less you'll get flaked on, or maybe you just completely stop caring about flakes and stop noticing them.

[Dantes]

Cr nice thread.

Flaking should be considered in context. Not all flakes are the same as mentioned. There are cultural factors at play. For example, it is not uncommon for Colombians or brazilians to flake. It is not always a sign of her not being interested.

There is value in persistence depending on how she flaked. Was she genuinely apologetic ? Did she offer alternate plans to meet later in the week? Persistence may have merit but only if you are pursuing other options.

[OGNorCal707]

I really like Courage Reborn's post, but my initial impression was that he was being sarcastic or trying to be ironic when at the end that "you're still in the running." He does have a point that there is no reason to get upset and react when a girl flakes on you, you do take yourself out of the running, but generally if a girl flakes without a legit reason it's because she's just not that interested.

I think it's already been said, but most women in the the U.S. that are 7+ on the scale are bombarded by dudes and from so many angles, school, work, the bars, the internet, etc., they have so many options that they can kick back and pick and choose. A friend I was talking to recently had a good insight, he said that hot girls nowadays date multiple guys, and often have different guys for different reasons, one guy has a lot of money, one is a super ripped body builder, another is a super cool artist, etc.

The best thing you can do is make an excellent impression and connection with a girl to minimize her chances of flaking, in the past I'd say banging a chick would greatly reduce flaking and it still should, but from experience I've still gotten flaked on and have had girls go cold on me even after having good sex with them.

One thing that I think is important is timing and momentum. I feel like I lost momentum with my last chick, even though I did get the bang, it was too little too late, she was infatuated at the start, but somewhere along the way, things stagnated and some other dude came into the picture. Women don't really allow for too many blunders, and there is always going to be a conveyor belt of new dudes trying to put in their bids when she's really fine.

As far as whether or not it's worth it to keep a prospect alive, I think it comes down to how quality she is and how much else you got going on. I think most guys will be able to attest to a few bangs they got through persistence, but I'd say the majority of the time you will be wasting time. While it's good not to give a fuck, I'm an emotional person, and in some ways getting radio silence from a flake kind of hurts in some way even though it shouldn't at this point.

[Cad and Bounder]

Bullseye wrote...

"Recently, I sent her a text to hang out with me and her reply was "Sorry I can't. Got a lot to do today" with no suggestion of another day. I never replied after that and I haven't heard from her for almost 2 weeks now. I'm hard on losses after spending on ladies without getting in their panties so I've been considering hitting her up for one last hail mary. What's your take?"

Okay so here is one thing you can do. Next time wait a day or two before replying and then message 'Hey no problem. Now this is the bit when you need to suggest a few alternative dates and I will try and make it"

And that's it. If she likes you she will comply. If not she won't. It's as simple as that.

The majority won't because they are usually just behaving like cunts when they flake. If they don't like us then they shouldn't agree to the date, but to set a specific date and then cancel with late notice just to get an ego rush out of messing nother person around is the sign of a low value human being. You are best rid of her.

[StrikeBack]

I believe this is the problem: most guys, even the ones with Game here except for those with the highest values and skills, say 1%, do understand that flaking is disrespectful and a sign of girls being low quality, but we run into so many flakey girls (I'd say well over 90% if you date young) that if we next them all on first offense, we would be left with too few to work with.

It's not just flaking. Pick some other annoyance and you get the same issue. For example, I can't stand girls who swear like sailors, but since I live in Australia, the vast majority I run into do in fact swear a lot. I don't like tattoos - I haven't seen a young girl without one for a long time. I don't like girls who cook worse than me, or straight up can't cook - I don't know any young local girl who can cook. I don't like girls who regurgitate feminist talking points or identify as one...

You get the idea.

If I were in some other country where girls are raised right, I'd next the flakes instantly and still have lots of prospects to work with. But right now, while I'm in this poosy hell, I'll play TXT-jiujitsu (TJJ) with them, take them less seriously and pounce on the slim chance I manage to get a meetup. And I don't really waste my energy figuring out why they're flaking on me.

[Dalaran1991]

(04-08-2015 09:18 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

but we run into so many flakey girls (I'd say well over 90% if you date young) that if we next them all on first offense, we would be left with too few to work with.



If I were in some other country where girls are raised right, I'd next the flakes instantly and still have lots of prospects to work with. But right now, while I'm in this poosy hell, I'll play TXT-jiujitsu (TJJ) with them, take them less seriously and pounce on the slim chance I manage to get a meetup. And I don't really waste my energy figuring out why they're flaking on me.

Yeah, I keep saying this. To quote Gio, next her mentally, but not mechanically, or else you would burn through your prospects faster than a fattie eat her extra size donut.

Quote:

It's not just flaking. Pick some other annoyance and you get the same issue. For example, I can't stand girls who swear like sailors, but since I live in Australia, the vast majority I run into do in fact swear a lot. I don't like tattoos - I haven't seen a young girl without one for a long time. I don't like girls who cook worse than me, or straight up can't cook - I don't know any young local girl who can cook. I don't like girls who regurgitate feminist talking points or identify as one...

You get the idea.

You just rule out 90% of the Western female population there I also assume that being fat is a no-brainer. Since we can't put up with fat and ugly girls, we have to find the lesser devils to put up with.

Also what's the fuck is wrong with girls being unable to cook these days? I'm a good cook but compared to my mom and aunts' cooking my stuff is inedible. For the last 5 years I've never even met a girl who can make a decent omelette, let alone a full meal.

[Chapped3rdEye]

(04-08-2015 01:26 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

The best thing you can do is make an excellent impression and connection with a girl to minimize her chances of flaking, in the past I'd say banging a chick would greatly reduce flaking and it still should, but from experience I've still gotten flaked on and have had girls go cold on me even after having good sex with them.

I meet most of my women online, so I'm really and truly not offended if they flake (even multiple times, even with lame excuses) before we've met in the flesh. They don't know me - I'm just some text messages and a couple pictures. Flaking after fucking is a whole other can of worms though, a bad sign. In the relatively few times that's happened, most or all of the following were true (anecdata disclaimer):

• She was also very flaky before sex
• She was above average in looks (7+)
• She was young (<25)
• She didn't get off
• I did very little to increase comfort/attachment afterward in the days afterward
  

[Foolsgo1d]

I engaged the flakes for a short time, calling them out on the ludicrous excuses they gave as it was an insult to my intelligence. The number one go-to move these women had were "you're just bitter and rude" and I just ridiculed them even more, which led to more bitter anti-women comments.

Its like feeding the never-ending fire. You are only good till you run out of fuel, get bored or find something else to do. Which brought me to my current situation.

I get bored and find something else to do without feeding them. I've become good at detecting flakes and liars simply deleting them straight away is a good way to move along. I always did this to people I didn't like in person by simply walking away or laughing at them. Being ignorant is good.

[silviophonic]

There are 3 ways to inoculate yourself against flakes:

1) SNL: take the interaction as far as it can go, get the number as a last resort.

2) Date stacking/triple booking: you will be at a location at a certain time, you spam invite multiple girls. 1 flakes, no problem. 2 flakes, no problem. All of them flake, no problem: you approach more girls. This is fighting their abundance with your abundance.

3) Be a man of such high value that flaking is minimized. AKA 'The DeCaprio Effect'. The higher your value, the more 'yes' girls you will find.

[Vaun]

(04-06-2015 07:09 PM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

(04-06-2015 06:12 PM)jariel Wrote:  

I'm definitely not agreeing with the premise.

Flaking is a clear sign of disrespect, and it's done on a completely conscious level.

Let's not romanticize it into something like a "shit test" that ultimately you can pass by being persistent.

Some of the messages within the game community are ass backwards.

It's not your job to work for her, it's her job to work for you.

There are just too many women in the world out here for us to be giving multiple chances to someone who's proven nothing other than that they don't respect you,

As a rational and logical male, I agree with you.

However, what you wrote does not apply to women. Women are irrational, impulsive, hormonal, and illogical.

Nah. Women that are disinterested in you are unavailable. Women that are interested in you will make themselves available.

Its called interest level. How much interest does she have in you? 100%, 50% or 25%?

I dont care how hot she is. And good girls make themselves available too. Maybe not TOO available, but they make it easier for you. That doesnt just mean sex. It means how available are they, for you?

Girls that like you make it easier for you.

You can blame texting and social media. But I date plenty of young women who when they are interested, definitely show it.

Girls that flake dont want you. They dont deserve you. And if you think you "need to go to work on her", to make her like you more, well my friend, you might as well burn your time and money with a match.

And it depends on what you want. Do you want to bring a high quality, fully interested girl into your life? To add to the quality of your life? Or are you just chasing tail for immediate pleasure. Neither is right or wrong, but its really what you are looking for. The interested girls are the ones who want to stick around.

[Dalaran1991]

(04-09-2015 09:49 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Nah. Women that are disinterested in you are unavailable. Women that are interested in you will make themselves available.

Its called interest level. How much interest does she have in you? 100%, 50% or 25%?

I dont care how hot she is. And good girls make themselves available too. Maybe not TOO available, but they make it easier for you. That doesnt just mean sex. It means how available are they, for you?

Girls that like you make it easier for you.

You can blame texting and social media. But I date plenty of young women who when they are interested, definitely show it.

Girls that flake dont want you.

Agree completely. I posed the question the other day, why is it either very easy or impossible to get girls to go out, with no middle ground?

I've found out that if the girls like you, she will come out, will be on time, will be quite pleasant etc. no matter how hot she is. I went out with some very attractive girls who were clearly into me from the start and it was smooth sailing. One of them even sent a stream of text apologizing for being late 5 min...

It depends entirely on how attracted she is. Because the next time that very same girl was impossible to get out!

On the contrary if she is "maybe" or simply not interested, you should certainly expect a flake. I've been flaked on by girls I consider way below me. While it sucks, it is also a sign of you not creating enough attraction and momentum. Take note for development.

Momentum is also key. Attraction is short lived so strike hard and fast. I remembered getting a beautiful girl's number one Wed morning, then she said if I ever went out on Wed she would be down. I had an inner battle for 30 min: do I ask her out that night and risk seeming needy, or wait a few days and risk letting the fire die out? I pick the first and it was one of my best dates so far this year. Pushed hard for the bang but logistics were shit, so only got some hot makeout sessions.

My handsome game-aware wing shows me his phone sometimes and girls text him fucking essays, and he never have problems with flakes. My other wings have to deal with flakes just as much as I do.

I think there's no need to complicate it. Flake is the new rejection. If she likes you she wont flake. If she doesnt like you, she will. After all you mean nothing to her. Ive tried playing attrition war text game to get a girl out before, but the date is shitty.

[coverdoc]

I think jariel had it right about it being a sign of disrespect and low quality on her part. In this instant gratification day and age, I feel we men are too accepting of this behavior and it leads to this reinforcement that they can do whatever they want. To call them out on this disrespect has been turned into the guy being labeled "whiny, sensitive and not knowing how to handle rejection." I say to those people to kick fucking rocks.

If I take the time out of my day (getting dressed, going to the place, etc, even spending time thinking of where to go) and some bird flakes at the last minute with bull shit. It means she intentionally wasted my time and that's not okay. Do I schedule multiple dates at once? Yes. If one flakes do I call them out? You better fucking believe it. I respect every man(short fat white black ugly swagless etc) who has the balls to approach a girl in any setting (yes even online). So for me i'd have to say keep respecting ourselves and don't turn this form of disrespect into some "common thing that girls do." /rant

-CD

[Mister X]

(04-11-2015 11:54 AM)coverdoc Wrote:  

I think jariel had it right about it being a sign of disrespect and low quality on her part. In this instant gratification day and age, I feel we men are too accepting of this behavior and it leads to this reinforcement that they can do whatever they want. To call them out on this disrespect has been turned into the guy being labeled "whiny, sensitive and not knowing how to handle rejection." I say to those people to kick fucking rocks.

If I take the time out of my day (getting dressed, going to the place, etc, even spending time thinking of where to go) and some bird flakes at the last minute with bull shit. It means she intentionally wasted my time and that's not okay. Do I schedule multiple dates at once? Yes. If one flakes do I call them out? You better fucking believe it. I respect every man(short fat white black ugly swagless etc) who has the balls to approach a girl in any setting (yes even online). So for me i'd have to say keep respecting ourselves and don't turn this form of disrespect into some "common thing that girls do." /rant

-CD

Pretty much exactly what I said in this thread.

Self respect before pussy. I bet we'd do a lot better as a gender as a whole if we started thinking that way. Instead of "well, what option is going to get me laid?"

I think that, some men think they're in control, but the reality is women are dictating our behavior. They're writing the narrative for men. Like I said, they created the narrative that men who complain about flaking are insecure, pussy starved, emotional, women hating bitch boys, and we said "ok, so we'll do the opposite of that and act like flakes are no big deal" as opposed to saying "wait, what? You think you can waste a man's time AND denigrate him when he voices his displeasure about it? Fuck that! Flaking is immature and tactless, don't do that shit."

It is what it is.

[robreke]

The real reasons women are flaking:

1. They lost their initial attraction or never had it in the first place. Why they gave their number in the first place is another subject which has been aptly discussed in other threads.
2. They're inundated with options which strokes their ego and makes seeing you not overly important. Oddly, it seems they get just as much pleasure from ego boosting texts from orbiters/suits, FB hits from the same, etc. as they do from actually fucking. It's like an alternative to sex practically (as men, we're like "fuck that...I need to get laid or nothing!")
3. They may still have the attraction, but not enough comfort was built. Many women are skittish/apprehensive to meet with a man they're not yet "comfortable" with.

I think these are far and away usually the most common reasons. Flaking as a shit test may happen, but I think it's way down on the "reasons to flake" list below the above 3.

[CrackerDaddy]

(04-06-2015 07:27 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(04-06-2015 07:09 PM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

As a rational and logical male, I agree with you.

However, what you wrote does not apply to women. Women are irrational, impulsive, hormonal, and illogical.

I know exactly what women are, better than most, the difference is, I don't give a damn.

I don't play the game by their rules.

A lot of that shit that happens that guys talk about doesn't happen to me, simply because I don't allow it.

When girls are down, they are down. When they are wishy-washy, half-in, half-out, then I cancel.

One, I don't have time for it. Time is precious.

Two, I have options. Life is all about options.

It's only men who don't have options who have to put up with shit.

Every girl is not out here shit testing every guy because it's not in her best interest to do so.

We're all conscious that certain behavior is a turn-off.

When you allow women to engage in negative behavior, e.g. flaking, but are still willing to treat them to a night on the town, your dick, whatever, what are you really saying?

She can do whatever she wants and still ultimately get her way.

If the girl fucks up and is willing to work her way back into the mix, that's different, but I'm not going to pursue something that's going out of its way to push me away.

One mistake that is being made by men of these parts is absolving women of responsibility by rationalizing their behavior and saying, "they're women, they think differently from us", sure they do, but that's not an excuse for you to put up with their shit.

At the end of the day, we are all adults. I expect grown women to act like adults, if they can't do that, then I'm not an option for them; their loss, I'll keep it moving, I go out all the time, there's just TOO many bitches out here for me to feel otherwise.

^^^^
THIS!

Abundance mentality my friends....that is the key. You be the prize -- not the flaky cunt.

[CrackerDaddy]

(04-06-2015 08:58 PM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

(04-06-2015 07:27 PM)jariel Wrote:  

I know exactly what women are, better than most, the difference is, I don't give a damn.

I don't play the game by their rules.

A lot of that shit that happens that guys talk about doesn't happen to me, simply because I don't allow it.

When girls are down, they are down. When they are wishy-washy, half-in, half-out, then I cancel.

For sure man, but you are in the top 1%. Most guys are not there.

I think that just telling guys to take a hardline approach with women isn't going to help them evolve as players. Likely it will breed resentment toward women. You can see that in the forum sometimes - guys getting angry at girls rather than laughing it off or learning from it.

When a girl flakes on me, I take it as a chance to self-reflect and learn from my mistakes.

Eventually, teaching a hardline approach is good, and telling guys they should stand behind their values is beneficial, but only when a player has advanced.

The OP's post was to help guys understand the mentality of women, so they can get to that higher level.

(04-06-2015 08:22 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Perhaps they chickened out.

This is actually quite accurate.

More than one girl has told me that she was too nervous to meet up with me. Other times their actions suggest this is what happened.

It's a sign that I wasn't calibrated. Perhaps I was too sexual, I posed my value too high, or she otherwise got scared off.

---

Flaking is a learning experience. The more you know about women, the more you'll learn from the experience.

Basically, you have to ask yourself.....what is your real SMV? Now, be honest here. Be honest with yourself. Hell, get a second or third opinion. Are you the type of man who is so desirable, high-status enough to basically be flake-proof? If not, are you willing to put in the work and do whatever is necessary to raise yourself to that level? If not, then relegate yourself to being flaked upon and take whatever you can get in the the sexual marketplace relevant to your real SMV.

Sound harsh? Yes, it is; but, my friends that is the reality of the situation. Make a better you......be a better you. Trust me, the ladies will notice and your incidences of being flaked upon will go down as the quality of the women you are attaining go up.

Just my $.02

[CrackerDaddy]

(04-06-2015 09:30 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(04-06-2015 08:42 PM)CH-Toronto Wrote:  

Got flaked on last night from a Tinder girl. Plans seemed to have been set and in the end... nothing. I want to text her and say, "Ummm what happened?" but I know that's what she wants and if I do that - she 'wins'. Fucking Christ.

(04-06-2015 02:19 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

She has a slight headache from tilting her head just so for the last 15 minutes to get just the right amount of cleavage for a couch selfie

This was literally every pic of her. For my area - she was the hottest girl off Tinder I had seen. I think there should be a "post pics of girls who flaked on you thread" to help serve as a warning to other members.

Since that person only existed in pictures for you, for all you know, you got catfished.

Look at it as a favor, you no longer have to invest anything in that.

I agree with Blurred in that it's imperative to keep your emotions out of this. Some of these things are part of the game. You have to be mentally and emotionally strong enough to play this game, because everybody is not going to act the way you would or the way you'd reasonably expect them to.

I prefer a hardlined approach because it means you have standards.

We operate within institutions all the time that have set rules and standards. Those institutions don't conform to your behavior, you're expected to step your game up and act accordingly.

Your boss doesn't say, "Look, we know you're late every day so why don't you come in 30 minutes later, then perhaps as a result, you'll actually be here on time."

Your boss says, "Look, I need someone who is going to be here consistently on time. You have not demonstrated to me that you can be that someone, so I'm going to have to give the opportunity to someone else."

It's time for you to start acting like a boss.

When you don't have rules, then the women make the rules, and you find yourself playing some fucked up game in which they'll make you deal with anything because you'll delude yourself into believing there is something in it for you later on.

We can't expect to sit here and just let women operate in any kind of disrespectful way they want to, and then get mad that the collective quality of women out here is so low.

I also reject the women are this and that argument, because if you ever pay attention to women with other women, they aren't the things that you believe they are.

A girl wouldn't leave her friend waiting at Starbucks for her and then just text her a bullshit excuse or not even contact her at all.

Women will put time, effort, energy, etc. into dealings with other women.

But with men, it's supposedly different. Men give them all these outs for why they behave the way they behave. That is just them running game on you.

When something real is potentially on the line, she'll take you seriously.

When you're just the next dude, and she's already got at least another dude in her life who's giving her at least one thing she needs, then you are fungible to her, and she'll treat you as such.

That is a more honest assessment than "Nah dawg, she still likes you, just keep gaming."

I would automatically assume otherwise, and then let her prove me wrong, if that's what she really wants to do -- it's apparent that in some cases that has happened, or she was down after she was done/tired with the other dick she was dealing with which made her not feel like she needed to sweat yours.

^^^^
THIS!

Gentlemen, burn this into your frontal cortex. We're not the only ones running game. These women are also running game. Stop being simps and tricks. DO NOT let these women run game on you.

Of course, you need to have a high enough SMV/social status to pull this off. If you are just a 6, 7....or maybe an 8 (if you're below a 6......good God man.....why am I even talking with you here?), you're going to have these women trying to run game on you. Become the solid 9.......working your ass off to become a 10. When you accomplish that, you will see a world of difference in how you are treated by these women.

JS

[Dalaran1991]

(04-06-2015 07:27 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Two, I have options. Life is all about options.

It's only men who don't have options who have to put up with shit.

I think this is the main point. Most of us don't have enough game or SMV to have options yet. I know fake it until you make it, but until then flaking is just what we have to deal with.

But you know what? I'm now officially in the "no flake tolerance" team.

Simple reason: I've never managed to bang or get a date with a girl who flaked on me on the first date. I went the usual route of putting flakes into mass text category, running restart text etc. Never worked even once.

The only reason we don't call girls out, is to not burn bridges with her, not to feel butthurt and eventually have a future chance. But the way I see with if the girl flakes (real flake without counter-offer with bullshit excuses), not only did she burn the bridge, she wire it with TNT and blow the fucking bridge to kingdom come. There's nothing to salvage there, so if I can throw some vindication at her it will at least make me feel less annoyed.

I'm doing this from now on with every girls except those in my closest social circles. Let's see what happens. I don't think it will change anything though. I will certainly not bang her, she might even flake harder and be ruder to guys in the future, but that's not my concern.